by Emily Woods
“I'll talk to you later,” he promised. “I want to see if I can do anything for Captain Holt.”
Beth watched him ride off and sighed. Her own life was a mess, so she had no right to judge, but she felt that Michael's heart was not right with God. He'd made some allusions to religion and the Bible, and she could see that he had good intentions, but when would he realize that he too had a problem accepting authority, God's authority? However, she knew she wouldn’t say anything to him. Who was she to judge another person’s actions?
“That was quite a sigh,” came a voice from beside her. Hope was smiling at her, but Beth could see the worry in her eyes.
“Yes, well, we're in a difficult situation, aren't we?”
Hope looked in the direction of the two other wagons, which were slowly becoming specks in the distance, and nodded.
“I'm not sure who I'm worried about more: them for being so stubborn and taking a risk, or us for going off track and delaying our arrival.”
They stared at the receding wagons for a moment longer before Beth answered, “Them for sure. They're going their own way because they don't trust the one who knows the way. Why did they choose to come with Captain Holt? Because he has the best success rate. But now they doubt what they've known the whole time.”
Hope nodded. “People are like that, aren't they? It doesn't matter how long they've been doing fine. As soon as hardship comes along, they rebel against what they know to be true.” She gave Beth a half-smile. “By the way, I wanted to thank you again for talking to Gabriel's brothers. I'm quite sure that they wouldn't have given their blessing to him otherwise.”
Hope’s comments about people rebelling against what they know, along with her own thoughts about pride, resonated in Beth's mind for the rest of the afternoon. She knew that God was speaking to her, not just about the men and the journey, but about the lie in her own life. As much as she wanted to please her brother, she came to realize that she couldn't go through with it after all.
And there was no point in denying that Michael Morris didn't have something to do with her decision. Her attraction to the man had started from the evening that she brought over the pies and had grown in leaps and bounds. Now, as she watched the Howard family join the rest of the train, she knew that Michael was being used by God, no matter what he thought.
Tonight, she would talk to George about their plans. She suspected that he wouldn't resist at all anymore. God had been preparing his heart for a while now.
The thought that filled her mind now was telling Michael about the ruse. What would he think of them? Of her? Should she even tell him at all or just let him go to California? She was beginning to think that he hadn't heard her slip up at all. He was being so kind to both of them.
A rumble in the distance startled her, and she nearly tripped on a rock. Why hadn't she seen the lightning? Perhaps because the sky was still so bright. However, glancing to the east, she saw dark clouds approaching, just as the captain had predicted. The shelter of the mountain range still seemed impossibly far, and Captain Holt was suddenly urging them to move faster.
Everyone pushed their animals, desperate to reach the shelter before the worst of the storm hit. They were nearing the side of the mountain when the entire sky went black and rain began to fall in sheets. Animals bellowed and whinnied when a flash of light lit the area, followed shortly after by another boom of thunder.
“Less than one more mile!” Captain Holt shouted. “You can do it. Put the children in the wagons and get hold of your animals. We're almost there!”
It took another thirty minutes to get to the side of the mountain, but they felt the force of the rain lessen. There were several overhangs that they took refuge under, and people began diving under their wagons for shelter, but the captain yelled at them to come out.
“I found a cave!” he shouted. “It's the safest place.
Many people didn't want to come out from under their wagons, but somehow, through sheer bullying or conviction, he managed to get them out. Once inside the cave, he explained how lightning would seek the tallest thing in the area, and if that happened to be the wagon, they could be hit too.
“I saw a man die once from hiding under his wagon,” he informed them gravely. “I'm glad you all listened to me.”
Beth looked around and saw that everyone was frozen with shock and fear. Something in her spoke out.
“Shall we pray? Preacher?”
Preacher Riley gave himself a little shake. “Yes, we should. Let's pray for our brothers and sisters who are out in the open and give thanks to God for our captain.”
Everyone bowed their heads to pray.
7
Many people murmured along with the preacher as he appealed to God for the families that had refused to follow Captain Holt. There was some crying, possibly from a friend or relative of the wayward ones, or perhaps it was out of fear for their own situation.
The preacher kept on praying and then, as soon as he said amen, his wife began to sing Amazing Grace followed by All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name and Blessed Assurance. When the group had finished those three songs, the morale among them was greatly changed.
Others in the group began singing out other songs such as Rock of Ages and O God Our Help in Ages Past. Beth felt her spirit renewed by the singing and by the thought of freeing herself from the dark cloud that had been hanging over her head for more than three months.
As quickly as it came, the storm left them. Everyone exited the cave, surveyed their wagons, and looked for their animals.
“I hope the other families made it,” Beth murmured to Michael, who was somehow at her side all of a sudden.
He shook his head a little. “I hope so too, but I’d be surprised. Part of me wants to go find them, but the other part…” Pausing, he looked in the direction that the two stubborn men had gone. “Aw, I can’t leave them. They might need help.”
After consulting with his brothers, Michael returned to her side.
“Henry and me are going to go look for them. We’ll catch up to you all as soon as we can, but I need to see if they’re alright.”
“But you’ll come back, right?” she asked, her voice betraying her anxiousness. “I mean, you won’t just head south after that, will you?”
He gave a little laugh. “I wouldn’t have any idea how. Holt said that there are always men heading south from Fort Hall to California, but we don’t even know how to get that far. Don’t worry. We’ll catch up.”
Beth felt her heart tremble a little at the thought of never seeing him again.
“Be sure that you do. I—I have something I need to tell you.”
Curious, Michael held her gaze so long that she felt her face grow warm.
“You don’t want to tell me now?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes fastened to hers.
She shook her head and struggled to find her voice. “I need more than a few minutes to explain. Please come back.”
Now he grinned. “Well, I’ll do my best if I can get a few more of those molasses cakes. What are the odds of that happening?”
Tears welled up and threatened to spill over, but Beth gave him a soft smile.
“I’d say they’re very, very good.”
Even on horseback, it took the brothers nearly five hours to find the wreckage of the two wagons. They’d been damaged in the storm and two people were hurt, but no one was killed. However, Eugene Howard seemed to be in some kind of trance, pacing around and mumbling to himself.
“Mister Morris and Mister Morris!” the man’s wife cried out when she saw the two of them. “Thank you, Jesus! Oh, praise the Lord!”
Michael frowned a little and glanced over at his brother, who was equally taken aback, whether by the scene before them or the exclamation, he couldn’t be sure.
“Missus Howard,” Michael said with a nod as he slid off his horse. “What happened?”
The woman calmed down enough to explain how the mules had become frightened when a bolt of l
ightning hit a tree directly in front of them, splitting it in two. All four mules had bolted, causing the wagons to crash into one another. One child and one adult had been injured.
“But God sent you to save us!” she finished.
Michael wasn’t so sure about that. The wagons were all but destroyed, one much worse than the other.
“I don’t really know what we can do for you, ma’am,” he said slowly. “I mean, we came to check if you were alright, but I don’t know what we should do from here.”
“God knows,” she said staunchly. “Let’s ask him.”
Before either brother could protest, Mrs. Howard began praying loudly and earnestly, beseeching God to show them what to do.
Henry and Michael stood still while she prayed, as did the others, and once she was done, they walked around the wagons and talked to each other in quiet voices. Daniel Simpson, the leader of the second wagon, was lying unconscious under what was left of his wagon. Henry did a quick examination of the man and then shook his head.
“He’s lost a lot of blood,” he murmured to Michael. “I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
Grim but determined, Michael declared, “Well, if he doesn’t, it won’t be for our lack of trying. Now, take another look at these wagons and tell me if I’m wrong. Do you think we can salvage that one with this one’s parts?”
Since Eugene seemed to be out of his mind and Daniel was likewise incapacitated, it was up to them to make the decisions. Before the day was out, they’d managed to hobble together one wagon with the remains of the two and load all the supplies onto it, which wasn’t much. It seemed that quite a lot had been lost in the storm.
While they worked on that, the women went out in search of the mules. Before the sun set, they returned with three out of the four as well as several cows. It had taken several hours, but they didn’t want to come back emptyhanded. Michael admired their resolve.
“Guess there isn’t much time to cook,” Henry observed. “But we have some jerky and bread we can share.”
They divided the food among the six of them. Daniel was still unconscious, but Eugene was starting to come out of his trance. Every so often, he would look at Michael and Henry in alarm, but then his wife would settle him down again.
“I want to give thanks to God before we retire,” the lady declared. “It was our own stubborn nature that allowed us to go astray, thinking that we knew better, but He humbled us and then saved us.”
During the prayer, Michael felt his own heart pound in his chest, and he felt hot all over. His mind swam in confusion, and he felt overwhelmed.
“Lord, we are sinful creatures, but You still take pity on us, even in our moments of doubts. Forgive us for not seeking Your will before leaving the train. We thank you for sending the Morris brothers to save us. Thank you for hearing our prayers.”
She went on for a few more minutes, but Michael could hardly hear her for the roaring sound in his own ears. Although he didn’t hear a voice exactly, he got the distinct impression that someone was talking to him.
When Mrs. Howard was done praying, he leaned forward to speak to her quietly.
“What does God sound like?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
She smiled from ear to ear and her eyes became bright. “It can be so many things,” she answered earnestly. “It could be a whisper in the trees, a roar from the mountains, or a sigh in the wind. But when you hear it, you know.” When he didn’t reply, her eyes sharpened. “God used you to save us. I don’t know if we’re all going to make it, but who knows how long it would have been before another train came by? We could have died from exposure or any number of other things. If God is talking to you now, listen.”
He mumbled some kind of reply and then sprang to his feet. It wasn’t that he was offended by what she’d said, but he couldn’t quite comprehend it. Why would God use him, talk to him, an unbeliever?
But then he knew the truth. He wasn’t really an unbeliever, but he’d been stubborn and wanted to follow his own way, much like the people in front of him had done. Although his life hadn’t exactly become a wreckage in the same way as the wagons, he’d long felt restlessness and discontent. He thought that going to California would be the answer, but now he knew that was wrong. The only place he’d felt peace in the past year was when he was with Beth. Her presence soothed his mind.
In that moment, he knew that he couldn’t go with his brother. The realization made him sick, but he couldn’t deny it. That wasn’t his future.
He and Henry took turns standing guard that night. Several times, he wanted to tell his brother that he wouldn’t be going to California after all, but each time, he couldn’t seem to find the words. They swapped places three times before it was time to wake the others.
Long before the sun rose, the women began preparing breakfast. A good night’s sleep seemed to have work wonders on Eugene because he appeared to have regained his senses.
“I can’t thank you two enough for coming,” he said humbly as they walked along. “I don’t know I would’ve done the same.”
The two of them regarded the formerly arrogant man in surprise. It seemed that the storm had knocked the self-importance right out of him. Also, Daniel Simpson seemed to rally a little. They’d put him in the back of wagon to rest, and by the end of the day, he was in and out of consciousness.
“I don’t rightly know what made us do it,” Michael confessed. “I just knew I couldn’t leave you here.”
“Same,” Henry said gruffly. “Now, far as I can figure, we’ll meet up with the rest of the train if we continue east. Might take a day or two, but they have to circle around, so our paths should meet.”
Several times over the next two days, Michael felt the urge to talk to Henry, but he lost his courage. In the meantime, he spoke to Mrs. Howard about God. She was just as good as a preacher in his opinion.
“How does a man get right with God?” he asked her the second evening after dinner.
She didn’t answer right away but looked at him intently. “Just tell Him that you’re sorry for going your own way, thank Him for sending Jesus to save us from our sins, and do your best to follow His ways for the rest of your life. Reading the Bible helps with that last bit.”
It was the salvation prayer. He had some memory of saying it when he was young, but it evaded him now.
“Can you show me?” he asked in humility. It had been a long time since he’d asked for help.
She led him through the prayer, and when they were done, Michael felt a huge burden lift that he didn’t even know he was carrying. When he went back to where his brother was sitting alone, he felt he had to tell him now.
“Henry,” he started. “I have to tell you something.”
His brother looked up, his eyes wary. “What is it?”
Michael took a deep breath and prayed for courage.
“I can’t come with you to California. There’s something else I have to do instead.”
8
Beth spent the remainder of the day in prayer, half the time praying for Michael and his brother and the other half praying for courage to face George.
However, as it turned out, her conversation with George was painless.
“I can see it clear as day on your face, sister,” he said with a sad smile. “You’ve gone and fallen for Michael Morris. I can’t hold you back from that. I don’t expect that I’ll even find love, but I’m glad you did, and I won’t hold you to your promise.”
She released a long breath and shook her head.
“He’s not the reason. God’s been convicting me the whole time, even from the beginning.”
George looked up, his gaze skeptical. “Really? You heard God talking to you about this?”
It seemed a bit self-righteous to put it that way, but she couldn’t outright deny it.
“It’s more that the feeling has been growing inside me as I read the Bible and pray more. I don’t have peace about this anymore. I don’t know if I ever did.”
Her brother looked confused. “And it has nothing to do with Michael? Are you sure?”
Not wanting to lie to him or herself, Beth just gave a little shrug. “I don’t know about Michael. We may never even see him again, but I know this is wrong.”
George nodded, clearly defeated. His shoulder slumped, and his head fell to his chest as he asked, “Do we have to tell Holt? We still have three months left to travel almost. What if he kicks us off the train? What if the others shun us?”
Beth laughed a little. “Well, we’ve mostly lived without their company this far. If that’s the case, we can do it the rest of the way. As for Captain Holt, I think he will forgive us.”
Her words’ expectation was fulfilled the next morning as the two of them made their confession to the wagon master. Holt listened to their story, nodded, and accepted their apology.
“I’m glad you came to your sense before we got there. You would have been in all kinds of trouble if you got found out.” Aside from that statement, he said nothing. They were vastly relieved not to be put off the train.
Over the course of the few nights, Beth and George traveled around to each of the families and told them the truth, with Beth doing most of the talking. She started with Emma Pearson and Grace Riley, but insisted on telling them by herself. She felt she owed it to them.
The women were shocked but forgiving of her deception. Hope smiled and gripped her hand.
“In a way, I’m relieved. I didn’t feel like there was love between you and George,” she confessed. “He just didn’t seem like the right man for you.”
“Oh, there’s love alright, but not that kind. He’s my brother and a good man, but we let ourselves believe something that wasn’t true.”
She could have made excuses for them, saying that they felt they deserved to have the extra land because of all they’d endured, but she knew that was a lie.
And as each family forgave them, Beth knew that they’d done the right thing because on the night they told the last family, she felt the barrier between her and God come down. When she prayed, she felt connected to her heavenly father at long last.