Faster, he must run faster to escape his heartbeat, to escape the pain that flooded his mind. To escape his broken soul. He gasped for breath, but still he could not stop running. The horror of his loss was chasing him. It was gaining on him. His brain was filled with visions of demons. So filled with monsters that he never heard the blaring sound of the trucker’s horn. And he never felt the impact as the vehicle hydroplaned, sliding into him and catapulting him into eternity.
Chapter 71
May opened her eyes. Tubes extended to machines from needles in her arms. Her body ached when she tried to move, and it was difficult to breathe. The room where she lay was dark, but even in her blurred vision, everything looked gray and devoid of color to her.
A nurse came in to check the machines and found her awake. The young woman in the white uniform took May’s hand.
“How are you feeling?”
May found it difficult to talk. But she shook her head.
“I’m sure you don’t feel very well. You went through a very intense ordeal.”
“Did I get shot?”
“Yes, it was in your shoulder. You were lucky. If it had been a few inches lower, it would have gone into your heart, and you would not be here now.”
“Cricket… Is he all right?”
“Who is Cricket? Is that the boy they found you with?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” The nurse squeezed May’s hand “ He didn’t make it. He passed away.”
May turned her head to the wall. “Please leave me alone now. I need to be by myself,” she said.
The nurse nodded and left the room. May wept. She wept for Cricket, and she wept for herself. Once again, she was alone. Where would she go? What would she do? And what would the future bring? If she survived this, and it looked as if she might, then what? Would she ever love anyone again the way that she had loved Cricket? The pain in her heart came from the finality of the situation. She would never see Cricket again, never feel his arms around her, and she could not go back; she could never go back. It was so strange, but Malachi had been right.
When she thought that she was wasting her life, she was actually living. If only she could go back to then…back to Cricket. But…there was no way back. Only forward, into the future. If only she had known that this was going to happen, she would never have left him alone, even for a single moment. She would have stayed with him, holding every second dear to her heart…knowing that the last was coming. How does one live knowing that someday the end is coming? That one day things will never again be as they were, and from that day forward life must alter completely. And how does one love knowing this very thing? She’d given her heart, the heart she’d protected so completely, and now a part of her was missing…gone forever.
“Cricket…” She whispered his name into the silence of the room. “Cricket, what am I going to do without you? I wish I had died too…”
But there was no answer, only silence. From outside the room she heard the muffled conversations of the doctors and nurses. Then she looked up at the clock. It kept ticking slowly. And as long as she lived, time would continue to move forward.
There were footsteps in the hallway and Malachi came into the room. “I’ve been here for two days, waiting in the waiting room. I knew you would awaken. I knew you were going to make it. The nurse just told me that you had opened your eyes. How are you feeling?” Malachi said.
“Like shit.”
“I bet.”
“Cricket is dead,” she said, turning her face away.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “I feel so lost and alone. It seems like things will never be right again. My life is over.”
For a few moments neither of them spoke. Then Malachi reached for May’s hand and squeezed it. He waited until she turned to look at him, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. Then he spoke.
“Well, things will never be the same, that’s true. But your life is hardly over. In fact it’s just beginning. I know you don’t believe me, but I speak the truth. You’ve learned a lot these past few months about love and loss, and you’ll take that with you as you walk your path through life. But you must realize that, there is still so much that lies ahead of you, May.”
“Will this pain ever go away, Malachi? I can’t bear it. It’s suffocating me…”
“The pain will go, yes. In a way it will…but never completely. But as time goes on, you will find it more tolerable. There will always be memories, but the hurting will lessen, and you will find that one day you will wake up, and the memories you keep in your heart of Cricket will bring you joy.”
“I can’t imagine ever being happy again. I feel like my whole world has come to an end.”
“And in a way it has. This world, anyway; I mean the one you’ve been living in. But remember…even though this whole chapter of your life has closed…another is about to open. Embrace the unknown, May. Be strong and walk forward into the future. You’ll see, there is much that awaits you there.”
“Malachi, I don’t think I can go on. It’s too hard. I want to end my life, to be finished with all of this pain and heartache.”
“You are a strong woman, May. Stronger than you know. You don’t have to do a thing right now. Just take every moment one at a time. Give life a chance. Give the future a chance.” The skin around Malachi’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. “It will be all right. I promise you it will. And…you’ll see, maybe, just maybe… the day will come when you decide to write your book, your very own story, and this chapter of your life will be an important part of that story.”
The overhead florescent light sputtered, growing brighter, flickering for just a minute.
“A tribute to Cricket?” she asked.
“Perhaps, or maybe a tribute to May…” he answered.
“Yes, possibly. I can’t imagine doing that right now. But I guess you never know what the future will bring.”
A Time of Anarchy- Mayan's Story Page 24