by Dixon, Ruby
My frown deepens. This one normally goes out hunting with Nadine. Now she is sitting by the fire? "Where is your friend?" I demand.
"Huh?" Her brows furrow at me.
"Nadine? Why do you not hunt?"
"Oh." She looks at me, and her gaze flicks to my loincloth and she gets an uncomfortable look on her face. Penny raises a hand in the air, and I realize she is blocking the sight of my cock with her hand. I look down and sure enough, it is still bulging against the leather of my loincloth. "Can you put that away, dude?"
"Where am I supposed to put it? It has a mind of its own." Does no one else have this problem? Is it only for a'ani? I need to ask Vordis. I cross my arms, glaring at her. "Just tell me where Nadine is."
She squints, averting her face as if my cock is blinding her. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see that either—"
"It will go away soon enough!" I bellow. "Just answer the question!"
"Okay, jeez." She flicks her gaze to my face and frowns at me as if I am the problem here. "She's in bed. She's depressed. We're not hunting today."
"Depressed? Why?"
"What do I look like, her therapist? I don't know! She's allowed to be depressed! Just leave her alone."
Leave her alone? When she is sad? The thought irritates me even more than Penny's silly hand blocking sight of my loincloth, and I storm away, determined to find Nadine. She is not allowed to stay in bed and be sad. Not when she can go hunting with me. That will make her happy, I decide. She likes hunting.
By the time I make it to the cave where the unmated females sleep, my cock has gone down to a normal size and I can walk normally. I head in, passing a few sleepy females on their way toward the fire. The camp is stirring, but I do not see Nadine amongst those who rise to greet the day. Ignoring the strange looks, I head to the back of the cave and spot her, still curled in her furs. She faces away from me, so I circle around her. Her eyes are open but she stares at the wall and says nothing when I approach.
"Nadine, get up," I tell her. "It is a good day for hunting, not for staying in bed."
"Leave me alone." She sounds sad, defeated.
I drop onto the roll of furs next to hers and cross my legs. "No. First you will tell me why you have watery eyes and a dull voice. And then once you have told me, we will go hunting."
She casts a glare in my direction. "Can't you just go away?"
"No."
She closes her eyes again and ignores me for a while, so I get comfortable, waiting. Does she think she can outlast me in this childish game? I will win. I am far more determined than she is. After a time, Nadine cracks an eye open and sighs when she sees me, waiting. "Why won't you go away?"
"Because you are a good hunter and you are normally one of the first out of the furs in the morning. Why are you hiding in bed? Have you decided to be one of these silly helpless females that never leaves camp, then?" There are a few that never volunteer to go hunting, which means all must care for them. Raahosh and his mate say that everyone will find their strengths and no one will be dead weight, but I do not understand someone that does not enjoy hunting. Not at all.
Nadine pulls her furs over her face, until only her thick curls stick out above the blankets.
I pull them back down again, revealing her lovely face…and my cock gets hard again. I scowl at how inappropriate it is. If she does not go hunting with me, I will have to go back to my hut and palm it until I get release, or it will bother me all day long. I do not tell her this, though. Instead, I arch a brow at her. "I am waiting for an answer."
She pulls the blankets back over her head, so I grab one from nearby and drag it over my lap while her eyes are averted. "Can't you just go away, Thrand?"
"We are having a contest of wills, and I plan on winning," I tell her.
Nadine makes an aggravated sound and flings the blankets back down so she can glare at me. "You are the most irritating man."
"The most irritating in all of camp," I agree proudly. "But I am also a good hunter and I need a partner. Come with me."
She tucks an arm under her head, propping it up, and for a moment, her expression grows so sad. "I don't feel like it today. I just kind of want to be left alone."
"But why?" I lie down next to her, facing her, and mimic her pose. "Tell me why and I will leave you alone." Maybe.
Her eyes water with fresh tears, which rips at my gut and makes my hard cock deflate immediately. "I miss my sisters."
This, I understand. "You had a big family?"
She sniffs, wiping at her cheeks, and nods. "I have a younger sister Serena and two older sisters, Jordan and Alexis. And my mama. They're probably all wondering what the hell happened to me." She shakes her head. "I know it's been weeks and weeks and I've had time to grieve but I had a dream last night that it was Serena's birthday and I woke up and realized I missed it." Her face crumples a little. "She was going to be eighteen and we were going to do something special, just the two of us, to celebrate."
"I am sorry," I tell her. "I have left many of my clone brothers behind over the years. Every time a master sold me, I was forced to leave some of my brothers behind. Only Vordis has always been at my side. It does not get easier," I admit. "You just get better at handling it."
Her lip thrusts out and for a moment, I think she will cry more, but instead, she reaches out and touches my hand. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up."
"Is it working?"
"No," Nadine admits. "But I can appreciate it all the same."
"Staying in bed all day will not help your heart," I tell her. Perhaps I am selfish in that I want her to get up and spend time with me, but I do not care. It will be good for her, too. "Do you wish to celebrate her birthday in her memory?"
Her brows go up. "You got a birthday cake on you, ketchup?"
I do not know any of those words. "I have a spear. We can go hunting."
She snorts. "It's not quite the same."
"Did you and your sister do something together?"
Nadine gets thoughtful. She pushes her bouncy hair out of her face and glances over at me. "Actually, yeah. Serena and I used to run marathons. We'd get together on the weekends when I was home and we'd run all morning long, practicing for the next half-marathon. It was fun because we'd talk about nothing in particular. Just spend the day running and being together, you know?"
"Running? From what?"
She chuckles, her square teeth flashing white with a real smile. "We weren't running from anything. We were running just to run."
I squint at her, trying to understand. "Was it a race?"
"Nope." Her smiles are coming easier now. "I realize that's hard for you to understand, Mister Ultra-Competitive, but we were running just because we enjoyed running."
"We can do that," I tell her. "I will run with you."
Nadine's expression grows thoughtful. "You will?"
"Yes. I bet I can run faster and farther than you."
"I should have known that you'd turn it into a competition," she says, rubbing a hand over her face. But she smiles, and then a moment later, she peels back the blankets. "Fine. Give me a chance to get dressed and then we'll go running."
3
NADINE
Ketchup has a good idea, I decide. I’m already perking up at the thought of jogging. A nice, crisp jog to get my head on straight sounds like just the thing to make me feel like a normal human again, so while he waits outside, I get dressed. Considering I have nothing to wear but a lot of leather and furs, I end up grabbing my thinnest leather tunic and a loincloth, and then put on my boots. It leaves a lot of my legs bare, but I’ll warm up with a jog, and the khui will take care of the rest. My boots are a bit floppy around the legs, so I get extra leather cords and lace them so they lie flat against my skin, then I tie my hair back until it’s in a fluffy knot atop my head.
When I head out of the cave, Thrand is pacing, his red skin like a stain in the pale early morning sunlight. I know it’s him automatically and not his brother—t
here’s a way he carries himself that’s different than Vordis. The tattoos that cover his arms and chest are slightly different, and when he looks over at me, his features are a little sharper, more saturnine. When he grins, he looks like a mischievous devil.
He’s handsome, the big fool. I’m pretty sure he knows it, too, so I don’t show that I’m affected by his presence. I can’t help but notice that he’s affected by mine, though. The front of his loincloth is, ah, prominent. Like, really prominent. Do I point out the obvious?
Raven and Steph pass by with baskets in their hands, and they pause at my weird lack of pants and then break into giggles when they see Thrand, hands on hips, boner under his loincloth.
I’m a practical sort, so I decide to take the bull by the horns. I gesture at his bare feet, first. “You got shoes for this jog, buddy?”
“My feet are tough.” He considers for a moment, and then gestures. “Do you want to run to the shore?”
“We can run along the shore,” I correct. “Do you need to take care of your problem first?”
He freezes. “Problem?”
“Your happy friend isn’t going away,” I say bluntly. “I should really point out that this isn’t a euphemism for you about to get laid. All I want to do is jog and if you think this is a come on, you might as well stay here at camp.”
Thrand rubs one pointed red ear. He’s red all over so I can’t tell if he’s blushing. “It will go away soon. Hopefully.”
My brows go up. “You can’t control it?”
The look he shoots me is agonized. “I wish.”
“Is this one of those weird alien things?” When he remains silent and won’t look at me, I decide that yes, yes it is. All right, we’re going to stay in sight of camp while we run, I decide. I really don’t think Thrand will try anything, but my mama didn’t raise a fool, either. “Come on, let’s go down to the beach and stretch.”
The wind rips at my bare legs, and I’m shivering by the time we get closer to the water. There’s a few people scattered up and down the shore. Off in the distance, I see Devi squatting over a dead lump that washed up, her mate at her side as they both stare down at the thing. Ever since she resonated to N’dek, she’s roped him into her morning dissection expeditions. It’s kind of cute in a weird sort of way. Farther down, a few of the hunters are casting nets. We’ll head in that direction first, I think. I grab my foot from behind and start to stretch.
Thrand just cocks his head and gives me an odd look. “What are you doing?”
“Stretching my muscles? It’s good for a run. You might want to try it so you don’t pull anything.”
He rubs his ear again, clearly uncomfortable. “I will not pull anything in front of you. You have my word.”
Oh lord, that was NOT what I meant. I clear my throat and ignore him as I continue to stretch. When I’m limber enough, he looks over at me, and that devilish smile curves his mouth. “I bet I can run to the far rocks faster than you can.”
I put my hands on my hips, glancing down the beach. The far rocks—the obvious tumble in the distance—are at least a half mile, maybe a mile away. “This isn’t supposed to be a sprint—”
He takes off before I can finish my sentence, ripping down the beach in a spray of sand.
Goddamnit. Clenching my jaw, I race after him, determined to catch up.
Running on the sand is a lot more difficult than it looks. My feet dig in with every step and there’s people and rocks and waves to avoid. I manage to catch up with Thrand, though, but the crazy man just laughs and runs even faster.
By the time we get to the rocks, he’s several body lengths ahead of me and raises his arms in triumph when he makes it. I slow to a jog, panting, and then put my hands on my hips, pacing and trying to catch my breath. “That wasn’t supposed to be a footrace. It’s supposed to be a slow jog.”
“But why?” Thrand looks far too pleased with himself. “A race is fun. And it made you forget your troubles.”
So it did. I laugh, breathless, as I continue pacing. “Shall we run back?”
“Only if you want to be beaten,” he says, his tone defiant. “Let me know when your puny human lungs have pulled in enough air so you can keep up with me.”
I laugh again, because he really is the most ridiculous man, but there’s something charming and boyishly appealing about him. “Fine, we’ll race back in just a moment.” I tilt my head at him, suddenly glad to be on this beach and to be with him. “This was just what I needed. Thanks, Thrand.”
His expression grows completely serious and he takes a step toward me. “I do not like seeing you sad, Nadine. I do not like seeing you cry.”
“Er, okay—”
“I want you to be my female.” He touches my arm, his grip scorching hot. “Be my pleasure-mate. Be my—”
“Yeah, no.” I push his hand away, annoyed. So much for having a good morning. “You just had to ruin things, didn’t you?”
“I ruin nothing,” Thrand insists. “I am just telling you how I feel.”
I ignore him, heading back towards the camp. The fun in the race is completely, utterly gone. I should have known the man had an ulterior motive.
* * *
NADINE
“Ugh, this camp is too much today,” Penny says to me one morning. “You want to get out of here?” She gives me a hopeful look. “I can get my spear and we can go hunting.”
I consider it. I’ve been sewing—and re-sewing—the same stupid dart in the front of my new tunic for far too long. My mind hasn’t been on it. I’ve been a sad, blubbery mess ever since I realized just how much I miss my sisters and I think it’s finally hit me that this is forever. There isn’t a ticket home. This is my world now. It just took a few months for it to kick in, and now that it has, I’m terribly depressed. And sad. And lonely.
And the one time I reached out to a buddy, he tried to put the moves on me. I scowl, thinking of Thrand and his eager grin. I want you to be my female.
The man has ZERO play.
It made me feel like I couldn’t go to anyone. I certainly can’t complain to Penny or any of the others. We’re all in the same situation. We all left family behind. Some of us handle it better than others. Raven makes kooky statements about how her parents would say it’s our karma or some shit. Sam is downright fucking delighted to be here. Me, I think I’m just now processing it and it’s hard. I’ve always been one of the Dawson girls. One of Monica and Greg’s happy brood. The middle child, the quiet one, the peacemaker, the practical one. To make matters worse, I try to imagine how my family would handle my sudden disappearance and the fact that I never came home for the weekend…or ever again.
Mama and Daddy would grieve. They’d assume something bad happened to me. Alexis would probably make it all about her. She’s the oldest, so she’s a bit self-absorbed sometimes. She’ll double down on her art and spend more time with our parents trying to make up for my absence. Jordan won’t say a thing. She’ll process it quietly in her own time, my bookish nerd of a sister. The baby Serena is gonna act out, though. She’ll be a mess for a while, and that hurts me. We’ve always been the closest out of the four Dawson sisters and she won’t know how to handle being just Serena and not Nadine’s little sis.
That makes me hurt all over again.
A pale hand comes and knocks on my forehead. “Hello, earth to Nadine,” Penny singsongs. “Get out of your head.”
“Sorry,” I mutter, putting aside my sewing. “I guess I should get out, right? Do something productive with my day?”
“Sure. And you can save me from killing S’bren.” She gives me a brilliant, fake smile. “Because if I have to stay around this camp for much longer, it’s absolutely going to be a murder situation.”
That makes me laugh. “These men really are terrible at being smooth.”
“They are anti-smooth,” she agrees as I pull my boots on and lace them. “If they were peanut butter, they’d be chunky.”
“They’d be the whole damn nut.
No butter at all.”
Penny cracks up.
It feels good to laugh. I shake my head and grin as I finish dressing, and while we’re still chuckling over our joke, Bridget enters the cave and immediately comes over to our sides. “What’s so funny?”
Penny’s smile falters a little, like we’ve been caught being naughty. “Just being goofballs. We’re about to head out hunting.”
Bridget’s eyes go wide and she clutches at Penny’s arm. “Oh my god, please let me go with you. I’ve got to get out of this camp. A’tam’s making me crazy.” She puts her hands to her forehead. “He told T’chai and Mari that we’re totally mated but I just haven’t been paying enough attention yet. Please, please take me with you guys.”
Penny exchanges a look with me and I know what she’s thinking. We normally hunt just the two of us and Cashol guides us. We haven’t gone hunting since he left, but I was expecting it to be just the two of us again. Hunting together has brought us close. We’re good friends and we share lots of shit. It’s easy to just hang out the two of us.
Bridget is drama. I don’t think she means to be, but ever since she and A’tam imploded after a hot night together, there has been no rest for anyone on this beach. Everyone’s taking sides and most are not on Bridget’s because, well, she’s a little messy.
I feel sorry for her, though. Ever since things went down, people have been avoiding her. No one wants to get swept up into the drama. I can tell she’s noticed and it hurts her feelings. Most of the tribe has settled into tight friendships after weeks of getting to know one another. Raven and Steph are buds. Sam and Flor hang out. Lauren and Mari are tight. I’m trying to be a big sis to Tia but I’m closer to Penny. Bridget is just kinda…nowhere.
That’s hard. I think of my sisters. Glance over at Penny. “I’m sure we can always use one more. You any good with a spear?”
“No, but I’d really love to stab something after talking to A’tam?”
I raise a hand into the air to stop her. “If you come with us today, you are not allowed to talk about him.”