by Dixon, Ruby
Perhaps my brother clone will know how to ease this turmoil in my head.
I do not make it to the hut before I see him seated on the platform just outside, the one that keeps the sand from getting into everything. He has baby Glory in his arms, and he gets to his feet as I approach, a finger to his lips. "Angie is sleeping," he tells me, jiggling the baby against his chest. "I am trying to keep Glory occupied until she wakes up. She is tired and her stomach is upset." Lines of strain show on his brow. "The healer says it is normal but I do not like it."
"If the healer says it is normal, it is normal," I tell him. "She has been pregnant before."
"She was in stasis before," he reminds me. "This is new for her."
Glory starts to fuss, and I toss my spear aside, then take the kit into my arms before she can cry. Vordis gives me a relieved look as I hold Glory against my shoulder, patting her back. There is something about my scent that she likes, because whenever she is fussy, she quiets in my arms. It is because I am so good with babies, I decide. "She likes me more than you," I tell Vordis, but even the usual teasing competition seems less…fun.
"Right now, she can." Vordis touches his daughter's tufted white-violet hair gently, then goes inside the hut to check on his mate. I pace up and down the beach, patting Glory's back as she makes little infant noises and grunts her displeasure.
I know just how she feels.
Eventually Vordis returns, and he comes to my side as I walk up and down the beach with Glory. "Your mood seems off, brother."
"You noticed?"
"We are clones. I know what an unsettled mind looks like because we wear the same face." He gives me a wry smile. "What troubles you? Did the hunt with Nadine not go well?"
"It went too well," I admit, and then tell him about Nadine. We promised to keep things secret, but Vordis is my brother, a man made from the same DNA, the same laboratory, the same everything. He would never tell another soul. I trust him with my life. "And now we are keeping this a secret and I have changed my mind. I do not like this." I adjust Glory in my arms, idly noting that she has fallen asleep. I lower my voice so I do not wake her. "I did not realize that being quiet about this would be…this hard."
Vordis just nods thoughtfully, arms crossed over his chest. "I will keep your secret. And if there is anything I can do to help, I shall."
"Help me get her to change her mind?"
"You know humans as well as I do. Nadine is a determined female. I doubt she will change her mind easily."
I sigh, because he is right.
"You will just have to convince her that she needs you as badly as you need her…until you resonate." Vordis rubs his chin, a thoughtful expression on his face.
I nod. "It is just a matter of time before we do, I think. I want her as badly as you wanted Angie, so I simply must wait for my khui to realize it. Until then, how do I convince her that she needs to be at my side?"
Vordis thinks for a moment. "You must show her what she is missing out on. Dazzle her with good foods and gifts so she knows you can provide for her."
"Nadine can provide for herself," I point out. "She does not like when I do things for her."
"Then you must dazzle her in the furs," Vordis says, a wicked grin on his face. "Did you mate or simply touch?"
"We touched. You think I should have mated her?"
"Not yet." He continues to rub his chin. "Save that for resonance, perhaps…or until she decides that she wishes to openly mate you. So you must convince her."
"I thought I was pretty convincing last night," I grumble.
"Did you use your fingers and your mouth at the same time?" Vordis asks. "That is what Angie likes. There is a spot deep inside her that makes her go wild." He nods. "You should try touching that."
"Put a finger inside her?" My brows go up. "Instead of my cock? You…do this to Angie?"
He claps a hand on my back. "I have learned many things from Angie. Let me share with you some of what I know so you can show Nadine what a good mate you will be."
12
NADINE
It’s tense and weird back at camp…or maybe it’s just me.
I can’t relax after leaving Thrand’s side. Not just because of the woebegone expression on his face as I walked away, but the fact that I feel like I should have a big scarlet letter on my chest. Not an A for Adulteress, but maybe F for Finger-Banged My Brains Out. Anyone that looks at me is gonna know I got some last night. It hangs over me like a cape. Not that I mind? I feel like I should, but I just kinda feel like smiling instead.
Which is silly.
I’m not looking forward to hanging out by the fire tonight, though. Usually it’s nice to catch up with everyone, to hear stories and conversations, to hold the babies and just be part of the community. Today, though, I just want to hide out in my bunk, but even that seems to bother me because it’s not private. It’s just a pallet of furs next to a half-dozen other pallets.
Being in the cave with just Thrand last night was nice. It was a little cold and cramped, but the privacy had been welcome.
The company had been even more welcome.
I squeeze my thighs together, thinking about how he’d woken me up last night with his hand between my thighs again, teasing my clit because he wanted to watch me come again. God, that was sexy. I’d come super hard and then returned the favor, and we’d gone back to sleep curled around each other. And I could have that every single night if I wanted, because all I have to do is grab my things and walk over to Thrand’s hut. He’s got privacy. He’s got a real floor instead of a hard stone floor. And we could kiss and touch as much as we want. I think about that. A lot.
And then I think about Bridget.
I glance over at her sleeping furs. They’re empty, but I saw her fishing on the beach earlier. She’s still sleeping with the rest of the women, though, so if she’s with A’tam, she’s hiding it.
Ugh, this is all so complicated.
I wash up and use the rest of my lotion, which just makes me think about Thrand all over again. I’m going to need a new scent for the next batch, I decide, because this one is going to make me all needy every time I sniff it. I pull new, fresh clothing over my form and smooth them out, a little nervous for no reason at all.
“There you are!” Tia bounces into the cave, all bubbly enthusiasm. “I’ve been looking for you all day! Where’d you go?”
“Hunting trip ran long,” I admit, crossing my arms. I like Tia. She reminds me of my little sister Serena with the big, looping curls and wide face and ready smile…and the flirtiness. “What’s up?”
Tia gets a wicked look on her face. “It’s been a while since we broke out some more spin the bottle, and I wanted to see—”
I hold a hand up. “Stop right there, because my answer is no.”
Her lip thrusts out in a pout. “Come on, Nadine. If you play, the others will, too. None of the other girls will join in.”
“Because they know it’s not a good idea,” I tell her gently. “These guys don’t think like we do, Tia. You’re playing with fire.”
She rolls her eyes and for a moment looks so much younger than her seventeen years.
“I’m serious. I’ve seen how Sessah looks at you. That boy is in love, and how do you think he’s going to feel if you go around kissing all these other men?”
“We’re not dating!”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “If he gets in his head that you belong to him, it could start a big fight. Look at Bridget. You think any other guy is looking in her direction? They won’t, because they think she belongs to A’tam.”
Not that I think Bridget minds this, of course, but I’m trying to give Tia something that will make her pause. Bridget doesn’t care if the rest of the men ignore her but Tia sure will. She’s been treating this entire place like it’s one big bachelorette island and all the men are hers for the picking.
She scoffs. “If you’re saying someone’s going to rape me, you’re dreaming.”
>
“I’m not saying rape.” It’s an alien concept to these guys, so I feel safe around them no matter what, and I know the other women do, too. “I’m saying that if you start a fight and you become the problem behind the fight, you’re not going to like the attention you get.”
“Now you sound like my mother,” Tia says and flounces away. “Forget I asked.”
Do I sound like her mother? Sometimes I feel so much older than Tia even though there’s only about six or seven years between us. But she acts like this place is a big party weekend and…it’s not. We’re stuck here. This is our new world, our new society.
Survival’s already hard enough. I don’t want to make things harder by being ostracized.
The argument with Tia ruins my mood even further, though. I’m a little cranky by the time I put my boots on and head out by the fire, and even Gail and baby Z’hren don’t cheer me up. Z’hren’s adorable, the little cheeky guy wobbling on fat legs between people around the fire and stealing bites of their food like he’s underfed or something. Vaza hovers nearby, watching him and Gail carefully even as he carves a cup out of the knob from a gigantic femur. Off to the side, I see Tia tossing her hair and talking with big, hairy U’dron—flirting—while Sessah watches from the shadows, an unhappy look on his face.
Ugh.
The seat next to me vacates and I’m a little surprised when S’bren shoves his way through the crowd. His big body won’t possibly fit, but as he approaches and others move aside, I see he’s got Penny in his arms. He gently sets her down next to me and elevates her foot, then gives her a stern look. “Wait here. I will get you food.”
“Thank you,” Penny says in a super-sweet voice.
I arch a brow at her.
She blushes.
I lean in close and point at her ankle. “Do we or do we not have a healer at this camp?”
“She’s busy, and anyhow, it still twinges every now and then. It’s best I stay off it for a while.” Her face is bright red.
“Mmmhmm.”
Penny lets out a breath, picking at the fur hem of her tunic. “Okay, so I might be playing it up a little. Don’t say anything, okay? I like him hovering over me. When he is, we don’t argue.” She turns to look around and gives S’bren a smile from afar. “Do you think I’m using him, Nadine?”
Eesh, what a question. Like I’m one to give advice? I’m all mixed up myself. I glance over at the fire, where S’bren is waiting with a bowl as R’jaal and Raven add cubed meat to the pot. She might be leading him on a little bit, but I’ve also never seen S’bren so happy. Penny either, for that matter. “If you’re both cool with it, I’m not gonna say a thing.”
She beams at me. “Did you have fun on your root hunt?”
Fun. What a loaded question. I do my best not to look too obvious and shrug. “It was nice to get away from the crowd. Thrand was good company.”
Great company. Incredible company.
I scan the sea of faces, looking for him, but I don’t see him anywhere. Damn it. Weren’t we supposed to meet again later tonight after the fire? I can’t give the signal word if his damn ass doesn’t show up. With a sigh, I turn to Penny. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”
She shakes her head. “All quiet.”
“Bridget and A’tam?” I ask in a low voice.
Penny shrugs. “Haven’t heard a thing. If something’s going on, they’re being sneaky about it.”
Not surprised. “Well—”
A throat clears.
I look up and see Thrand standing next to Vordis. They’ve pushed their way to the front of the gathering, and both are wearing loincloths, boots, and little else. There’s a hint of snow on the air, so I’m surprised Thrand’s dressed so lightly. He rubs his chest and as all gets quiet around the fire, Thrand steps forward. “I wish to start a competition.”
And he looks right at me.
I resist the urge to facepalm. This man is so fucking obvious. Jesus, why not just paint a big sign that says BANG NOW? And hold it up? It’d probably gather less attention.
“A competition?” Vordis says in a loud fake voice, his arms crossed over his chest. “What kind of competition would you like to have, my brother?”
I fight back a cringe. The only actor worse than Thrand is apparently Vordis.
Everyone stares. Penny leans over to me. “Why are they being so weird?” she whispers.
“God only knows.” I shake my head, unable to stop watching this train wreck in action.
“A competition,” Thrand declares in his theater voice. “To see who is the best…at night fishing!”
Several people groan. R’jaal gives Thrand and his brother a dismissive wave. “In this weather? You will catch nothing.”
“Boooooo,” calls out Aayla from Gren’s lap.
Several people mutter, but no one gets up. Flor says something in Spanish to Callie, and both of them giggle.
For a moment, Thrand looks crushed that no one likes his idea, and my horror and irritation turns to sympathy. But then he makes another dramatic sigh. “If no one else will join my COMPETITION,” and he says the word so obviously that I want to die, “then I shall go alone.”
“I will compete with you, brother,” Vordis says in that strange, stiff voice. “At least for a time.”
And they both turn and walk out of the group like the fools they are.
Penny leans over again. “What is going on and why was he staring at you the whole time? Are you two hooking up?”
“We’re keeping things secret,” I whisper to her. “At least I thought we were.”
“You do realize this is not gonna be secret for long? Not with that Oscar-caliber acting?”
Yeah, I’m starting to figure that out.
13
THRAND
I wait, pacing impatiently on the beach, for Nadine to arrive. It should be any time now, I think. I gave the signal word, did I not? But the beach remains empty for long, long minutes and so I pace a line in the sands, making a furrow directly on the shore across from my hut. I am the only one out here, and I suppose I should pretend to be having my night-fishing competition, but no one bothered to join me, so there is no need to keep up the pretense.
A figure appears in the distance, shrugging a fur wrap around their shoulders. The form is small and human, but with the hood up, I cannot tell who it is. Then the hood falls and I see the wild curls of Nadine's thick, bouncy hair. Joy surges through my chest, and it takes everything I have not to dash to her and pull her into my arms.
It has been a long, long day without her at my side. I have thought of nothing but last night. I have wanted to hover outside of the women's cave just for the opportunity to talk to her. I have lingered at camp instead, pretending to fix my gear. We are supposed to be pretending to be unbothered by the other person. That we have not kissed. That my mind is not full of all the things Vordis suggested I do to pleasure her.
This has indeed been the longest of days.
Nadine walks up to me on the shore, and instead of a welcoming smile, there's a look of frustration on her pretty face. "What the hell was that, Thrand? I can't believe you—"
She is mad, but I do not care. I am so thrilled to see her that I move forward and cup her delicate face in my hands, kissing her. I have waited all day to put my mouth on hers again, to feel her tongue slicking against mine. It is bliss, the moment that she loses her anger and returns my caresses. Her hands curl against my waist and she whimpers low in her throat, a sound that makes my cock ache.
"I have missed you this day," I tell her between fervent kisses. The scent of her is in my nose, her hair blowing against my fingers, and I feel such pure bliss at her nearness that I forget all about keeping things secret. All I want to do is kiss her and make her mine. Over and over and over again.
Nadine's hands twitch against my skin. "I'm here," she breathes. "I guess…it doesn't matter. Just try and be a little more sly next time, okay?"
"Whatever you say," I
agree, peppering her soft mouth with more kisses. "Now can I touch you?"
"Is anyone around?" she asks.
I look up, ready to snarl at anyone that might walk close, but the beach is empty. "No one."
"Then let's go back to your hut," she tells me. “I have a little while before anyone will notice I’m missing.”
I only get her a short time? That is…incredibly frustrating. But I will just have to ensure that she is so well-pleasured by the time she leaves that she seeks me out. "I bet I can make you come hard and fast," I tell her, confident in the new things I have learned. "I bet I will make you feel so good you will regret having to leave my furs."
She licks her lips and gives me a soft look. "I already know I'm going to regret leaving."
I groan at how beautiful she is, how sexy, and drop to my knees. I press my face against the cradle of her hips, clutching her tight against me. "I would take you right here and right now," I tell her.
"Someone will see us," she breathes, but her fingers are in my hair, stroking it back from my face. "Then our secret will be out."
I want to growl that I care nothing about secrets, but we are supposed to keep this private. I suggested it—like a fool—and she was eager to agree. So I bite back a snarl of frustration and pull her into my arms, hauling her over my shoulder and carrying her toward my hut. If I only have her for a short period of time I will make use of every moment.
She laughs, her hands skimming over my back as I carry her and I can feel her loosening the ties on my loincloth as I walk. By the time I make it to the flap-like door of my hut, my loincloth falls to the ground and I am naked.
Does she think that will stop me? She is wrong.
The fire is banked, just as I left it, and I head immediately for the furs. Humans are fragile, I remind myself, and I must keep her warm even as I peel the layers off of her body. I set her down gently in the blankets and when she reaches for me, I pull at her clothing instead. "Lie back," I tell her. "I have this."