by Carrie Lomax
Her father had been right. Naive fool that she was, Harper had chosen exactly the wrong friend and the worst English lord to fall in love with. She was disabused of that notion now, though. What must Harper think? It required no imagination to discern she and Richard were not acting like the happy soon-to-be-wedded couple they were supposed to be.
“Won’t you accompany us?” asked Miriam, then gasped at her own thoughtlessness. “Oh, of course you wouldn’t. Unless you’d like to. I imagine fresh air is good for the child.”
“Or children,” Harper laughed, patting the lump of her belly. “I have been to the museums on countless occasions of late. Thank you for asking. I find myself restless. Were it not for the fact that ladies in my condition are not welcome in public, I would be delighted to join in the fun. As it stands, however, I must catch up on correspondence. I don’t suppose you have any interest in attending a ball. The Season won’t be in full swing for several weeks, but I can accept invitations on your behalf. Viola will accompany you.”
Miriam glanced at Mrs. Kent.
“It’s your decision, dear.”
“Then, yes. I would like that very much.”
“Better you than me,” Harper laughed. “If it were up to me, I’d have returned to the countryside weeks ago. London society holds little appeal for me. Once this litter of pups is out, I intend to return to Briarcliff as soon as I am able.” Again, she patted her belly affectionately. The gesture gave Miriam a squirm of jealousy. It was a gross injustice that Lizzie was to have a baby when Miriam was never going to have the opportunity. Unless she could forgive Richard. But how could she, when she still she had to pry the truth out of him?
Chapter 23
“Now that you and your bride settled in, I would like to discuss your future. Is now a good time?” Edward asked two days after their arrival. He had returned from a morning spent in Parliament and was fully dressed in a simple, severely tailored jacket. The sartorial tables had turned. Once, it had been Edward who stood before him in ill-fitting clothing. Now, it was Richard’s turn to feel out of place for his inferior garb.
“Certainly.” Richard agreed, but the hairs on the backs of his arms and neck rose. He was going stir-crazy cooped up here in the house, yet he hardly dared to leave. The temptation of his old life lay just beyond the limestone walls of the newly refurbished townhouse. There were old friends with whom to reacquaint himself. Richard was torn between hoping they would deign to speak to him and wishing they’d snub him when they inevitably met. Taking a single trip down memory lane might undermine his determination not to drink.
Then again, so might his boredom. Today, Miriam and Mrs. Kent had gone out to see a museum with Harper’s sister, Viola, and her lover, Lord Darby.
Cloistered in the hush of Edward’s study Richard was gripped by the need to taste the sweet burn of liquor. His foot jiggled involuntarily. His brother’s gaze caught on the misbehaving limb, and Richard quelled the motion.
“I have petitioned the King to create a viscountcy for you in recognition for our father and uncle’s services in the Wars,” Edward began.
Richard waited. His brother looked at him expectantly. He supposed this was Edward’s idea of an explanation. “Why me? I did nothing during to facilitate our victory. I was but a boy.”
“I feel I owe it to you.” Edward cleared his throat. “I apologize for the harshness with which I banned you from England.”
“I did rather deserve it,” responded Richard mildly. “The fire was an accident, I swear. I wish you to know I have stopped drinking.”
“Entirely?” asked his brother. His brows arched over those piercing blue eyes.
“Yes. While there is little I can do about my clumsiness, I am an in better control of my habits now.” Richard confessed.
“Harper did comment upon how well you look.”
“Did she, now?” asked Richard.
“Believe it or not, my wife is the one who convinced me to pursue your peerage. It appears The King finds me an interesting specimen. We have visited court on a few occasions. He claimed to want a report on my time in the Amazon, though I believe King George was more interested in the lurid details of my kidnapping.”
“Did you oblige the man?”
“Indeed, I did.” Judging from Edward’s pained expression, he hadn’t enjoyed baring his soul to his sovereign. “Royal approval has gone a substantial distance toward restoring polish and approbation to the Briarcliff title. It was worth the effort.”
It occurred to Richard that he had never asked his brother what had happened during the time he was lost in the Amazon jungle. When Edward had disappeared, Richard had been only thirteen years old. Their father had taken on a diplomatic mission accompanying Dom João, then King of Portugal, as he fled from Napoleon’s armies to Brazil under protection from British war ships. Richard had felt overshadowed by his brother, but once there, he’d felt positively abandoned in a place where he barely spoke the language, left in the care of an indifferent tutor and a brother with far more linguistic talent and curiosity. After Edward’s disappearance, he’d been left utterly alone and overcome with a mixture of feelings he’d been too young to process. At first, he been sad and frightened for his brother. As much as they had fought, Richard had idolized Edward.
Yet even in his absence, Edward had occupied even more of everyone’s attention than had been true when he was present. In the frantic search for the young heir, no one had given an ounce of thought to Richard’s feelings. He’d allowed bitterness to seep into the marrow of his bones. As the spare, Richard had always come second, but as time stretched on with no word of Edward, Richard had come to relish being the heir presumptive. But his family had never thought Richard was anything but second-best. Nothing he did could measure up to his sainted brother. Edward had always loomed large over Richard’s life, but in his absence, he had become legend.
Richard had been overjoyed when Edward returned to them with behaviors little better than an animal. See, father? Richard had tried to say through his rage and pain. I am the only one who is equal to managing the earldom.
Richard had wished his entire life for someone to look at him with the soft fondness he’d once found in Miriam’s eyes when she gazed at him. As though he were the only man in the world. “I never asked you what it was like.” Richard said slowly, feeling his way forward like a man in a long, dark passageway.
“My absence?” Edward asked mildly. Again, surprise cocked his eyebrows at a skeptical angle. Richard knew he did not deserve his brother’s trust. Yet he wanted it even more than he wanted the harsh kiss of brandy. “That is a story best told over weeks, not in an afternoon.”
Richard had hit a dead-end. “I’ve no plans to leave. Perhaps you’ll share the tale with me as you feel appropriate. In the meantime, tell me more about the splitting of the viscountcy. I can scarcely believe my brother has gone to such effort on my behalf.”
Edward gave him a significant stare. “You should know that it started with our father. He was going to tell you before you stormed out of his rooms. After you left, I let the matter languish until the King’s invitation.”
Richard blinked. He shifted in his seat. Men did not shed tears. Why, then, did his eyes burn with salt the way they did when sweat ran down his brow unloading ships in the hot sun?
“I should like to take you out to the countryside to show you the proposed estate,” Edward continued, sparing Richard a response. “However, with Harper so close to her time, that will have to wait. I would like to know whether you and Miriam have any plans to leave England. The King will not be best pleased if the recipient of his generosity returns to the country that routed us so thoroughly in 1776.” Edward favored him with a faint smile. A strange warmth spread through Richard’s chest. He shifted in his seat, searching for words to describe the feeling.
Acceptance.
Belonging.
Forgiveness.
None of them seemed quite right. Richard cherished the fle
eting ember’s slow fade.
“Yes, I am home for good,” Richard confirmed.
“Does your bride know that?” Edward asked.
No. Miriam explicitly wanted to go home, the sooner the better. Damn. He had promised to take her. Yet, surely Miriam would understand the importance of receiving a viscountcy.
Richard opened his mouth as if to confide in his brother, but the thoughts he spoke were not the ones from his heart. “I will require some lenience to travel for business. Miriam’s father is a partner with me in a shipping-based business venture.”
“Are you now? You have changed.” Edward responded slowly as he examined
“In what way?” Richard asked. Tension made the hairs on the back of his neck rise.
“You? Dirty your hands with business?” Edward scoffed.
Richard rubbed his calloused palms and thought of the hours he’d labored in Howard’s warehouse. “You don’t know the half of it. Can you believe I’ve worked on the docks?”
“No. You?” Edward laughed in his thick, weird rumble from damaged vocal cords.
“I’m afraid so. We’ve a third partner in this venture. His name is Howard. He has a concern running ships up-and-down the Atlantic seaboard. Howard wants to expand into international shipping. Despite the risks of regular crossings, we think there is money to be made in trade.”
Edward regarded him in silence. Richard didn’t melt beneath the intensity of his scrutiny. Confidence kept him steady. Richard had had no idea so many unfamiliar emotions could be felt in a single visit to his brother’s study.
“Interesting. I daresay your time abroad has been good for you.”
“Your instincts were correct. And Edward, if I may say so…” Richard swallowed. “You make a far better earl than I ever would have done.”
Edward waved his hand. “Nonsense. Earls are born, not made. Had you been born first you would have made an excellent earl. I’ve no doubt.”
Richard laughed. “Perhaps you would have been an explorer or a captain.”
“Or a doctor,” Edward chuckled. “Like my wife.”
Richard kept his mouth shut. For all the miracles Harper had worked on Edward, women had no business practicing medicine. But he didn’t need to voice his opinion to the man who adored her.
“Take a look at these plans I had drawn up after a survey of your decrepit cottage.” For the next quarter hour, Richard and Edward bent over his desk examining plans for a modestly sized but elegantly proportioned renovation of the property Richard had once purchased for his mistress. Initially she had kept it, but after his departure Edward had reviewed his affairs and managed to re-secure the property. Courtesans did not have much leverage against earls in the courts of law. A straightforward breach-of-contract suit had been enough to convince her to hand over the title.
The two things he wanted most of his life were Miriam by his side and Lizzie out of it. Forever. Both goals felt very far away.
Chapter 24
Miriam struggled to lock her bedroom door. The heavy key stuck in the wrought iron. When it finally clicked, she checked it and discovered the latch to her room opened easily. With a sigh, she tried again. The slam of a door down the hallway made her start.
“Good afternoon, Miri.” Richard spoke stiffly, but she read in his gaze a hunger that made her feel like a mouse staring down a cat. “Did you enjoy your visit to the British Museum?”
“Yes,” she replied as she took in the sight of him. This man was foreign to her. He had changed into clothing that spoke of immense wealth, greater than anything her father had earned. She had been in this country for a scant few days and already she felt embarrassed of her origins. Her clothing, made new for the journey, now embarrassed her with its lack of sophistication. Richard had been the one person besides Mrs. Kent who dressed like her. But now he looked as fine as the earl. Attractive in a new and imposing way. Gone was the soulful lord banished from his homeland. In his place was a man with a quietly commanding presence.
A flutter of her betraying heart made Miriam take a step back. How could she still want him?
The teeth of her room key bit into her palm.
“We ought to begin making arrangements for the arrival of the Thetis. She could come into port any day.” Richard moved closer. Miriam couldn’t decide whether she was standing her ground or frozen in fear. Her heart hammered. A cold sweat curled the hairs on the back of her neck. Hurt longing churned her stomach like a storm at sea.
“When did you intend to tell me about Lizzie, Richard?” she demanded as he loomed over her. Miriam swallowed past the lump in her throat. You wanted the freedom to make your own choices. Now you have and must live with the consequences. “Before we were married? After? Never?”
His silence spoke volumes.
“Never. You’d have let me go on loving you knowing you couldn’t reciprocate. You’d have let me die the slow death of discovering by inches that I had been a fool all along.” Miriam’s chin trembled.
His hand lifted to her cheek. Miriam flinched when his fingertips brushed her cheek.
Richard dropped his hand instantly. “A word from you to my brother will stop me from ever touching you again. If that’s what you truly want.”
“I need help with locking my door,” she whispered.
Richard gazed at her sidelong. He caught her hand and plucked the key to her bedroom door from her palm. Caught in a storm of conflicting emotions, Miriam relinquished it without argument.
“I make you this vow,” he murmured. “I will do whatever it takes to erase the wariness I see in your eyes when you look at me. I will move mountains to regain your trust. I promise to win you again, no matter how long it takes. I hurt you in the deepest way possible. I am finished causing you pain, Miriam. I promise to spend the rest of my life giving you nothing but pleasure. If you will allow me.”
Richard’s voice had fallen to a whisper. Miriam’s pulse raced as he brushed his lips over the back of her hand. He reached past her to click the lock into place. He held the metal out. Miriam plucked it from his grasp with shaking fingers.
“Am I interrupting?” asked Mrs. Kent with one eyebrow raised. Miriam whirled away from her husband and found disappointment in the lady’s eyes. Shame swept away her feelings of attraction and left cobwebs of confusion in their wake.
“Not at all,” Miriam said with what little calm she could muster. She buried her fists in her skirt and cast Richard a narrow glare of reproach. “He was assisting me with my lock. It sticks.”
“If you’ve finished distressing—I mean, assisting, Miriam.” Mrs. Kent raised her chin and took her charge by the arm.
“We were discussing our plans to go to the wharves and see if there is any news of the Thetis tomorrow,” Richard lied smoothly. “Despite our personal difficulties, Miriam and I have an obligation to see the business thrive.”
“We were?” Miriam asked her deceitful spouse. A moment ago, she had been yearning for her husband’s touch. But then he’d gone and ruined it with an outright fabrication. She’d asked for an adventure, not a mendacious man to make it happen.
“We started to,” Richard replied. “Before I assisted you with your lock.
To Miriam’s shock, he was correct. She’d been thrown so off-kilter by his appearance that she’d nearly forgotten his original purpose in stopping her.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible.” Mrs. Kent urged Miriam toward the stairs as if she were a naughty child to be punished. “We’ve planned a trip to Windsor Castle.”
Mrs. Kent sped up. Miriam hoped she wouldn’t trip and fall down the unfamiliar stairs. Did she think she could outrun Richard in his own brother’s home? Then she remembered that this house was as unfamiliar to Richard as it was to her. The original had burned down.
“Windsor shall have to wait,” Richard said. Mrs. Kent stopped short, clearly upset at being ordered to change her plans.
“Can’t you go alone?” Miriam whirled to face him. A growing part of her
wanted to explore this new and cacophonous world, but she needed Mrs. Kent with her to keep her safe from an asthma attack.
“I need you,” Richard said simply, his gaze never wavering from her face. Miriam’s cheeks heated.
“Fine words,” she snapped.
“I need your expertise, Miri. No one is going to purchase wares from a spoiled aristocrat with no experience in trade.”
Miriam was silent. He did need her. It had been his promise to her father that she would oversee the operations on the English side. How annoying that this was the one promise Richard apparently intended to keep.
“It’s true, Mrs. Kent. We cannot abandon Richard to muddle through the specifics of business on his own.” Miriam swallowed. Yet, she’d been given this opportunity to Howard and Livingston to see how far she could stretch her wings. It wasn’t right to quit now. Besides, going home now meant telling her father that he’d been right about Richard all along. He was nothing but a selfish, spoiled aristocrat who would break her heart without a moment’s regret.
Yet when she looked at Richard, all she found regret in his eyes. It was in the resigned set of his shoulders. She heard it in the stiff way he’d spoken with her, as if he was fearful to say the wrong thing and wounding her anew.
“How long do you propose to remain here?” asked Mrs. Kent, assessing the new landscape with pinched displeasure.
“For as long as it takes. At least until the first shipment comes in and we can sell the commodities for a profit.”
“And then we go home?” asked her companion through pursed lips.
“Yes. Absolutely.” Miriam risked a glance at Richard. He stood very still, like a shadow. She couldn’t afford to let her heart soften toward him, no matter how badly it wanted to. This man had taken her trust and smashed it like a china plate on a stone floor. The stab of pain she experienced upon reliving the matter brought Miriam back to her senses.