He nodded. “Sounds good.” He sat back down and dropped his clasped hands between his knees and tried to pull his thoughts together.
“A little while ago you asked me what I was trying to accomplish having you come and stay with me, right?”
“Right.”
He cleared his throat. “I want a second chance.”
Once again her blue eyes studied him like they could see right through him. She didn’t say anything for the longest time. “I’ve been thinking about those letters,” she started.
“Don’t,” he said fiercely. “What happened to those letters is in the past. I want to concentrate on our future.” He was pretty damn sure he knew what in the fuck happened to those goddamn letters and who he had to thank for them not getting to Cami, but he was serious, that was in the past. What mattered now was going forward.
“All right,” she said slowly. “You want to move forward. I get that. Let me get well, then we can date.”
“Fuck that noise.”
Her eyes went wide. “I beg your pardon?”
Nic shoved himself up off the chair and paced to the door and back. He clasped the back of his neck with both hands and looked down at Cami. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pop off like that.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Sure, under normal circumstances I would love to date you, honey. But these aren’t normal circumstances. You’ve been through hell; there is no way you should be alone right now. And I want to be there for you. If you really want to stay in your apartment, that’s fine, let me stay with you.”
“My apartment is close to the University, so it’s really small, it only has one bedroom.”
“It’s okay, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said immediately.
He saw her wiggle her fingers. He reached out and touched them. “Staying at my place is stupid.”
Nic had learned how to be patient over the years, so he waited for her to continue.
“Are you sure you want to do this? Really, really sure?”
“Cami, this is our chance. We were too young before, and then later circumstances took away our choices, but fate or God slammed us back together. We were meant to be in this moment, here and now. It’s our shot. I don’t want to waste it.”
Camilla looked up at him and swallowed. “Nic, I want to say something important. Will you listen to me?”
“Always.”
“You keep saying you love me, and I have needed to hear that more than you can imagine. But truthfully, you don’t know me anymore. I’ve changed a lot between eighteen and twenty-four; there is no way you can love the me I am today.”
Nic hid his smile. He had to be careful and treat her words respectfully, but that was a load of horseshit. He knew this woman down to her bones, this brave, beautiful woman who endured and thrived. He knew Cami Ross down to her toes, and he intended to marry her. But she was right, she needed to be courted. So he was damn well going to get her to stay with him. He’d bring her breakfast in bed every day with a flower on the damn tray. He’d court the hell out of her.
“Nic, tell me what you’re thinking,” she prompted.
“Huh? Oh, well you’re right, honey. We’ve both changed. Like I said, I want a second chance. I think having you come and stay with me is the perfect way to get to know one another again. Yeah, you could rest and recuperate in your apartment, then we could date for a year. But my way is better. We will know in six weeks if we really have a shot at this.”
She bit her lip again and gasped.
“You’re going to have to stop doing that.”
Her lip went up on the side. “Yeah, I am.”
“So do we have a deal? Are you going to let me take care of you?”
“Yes, Nic, we have a deal.”
Camilla thanked God that Nic’s apartment was on the first floor, she honestly didn’t think she could walk up a set of stairs.
She could feel him staring at her as she walked over the threshold of his apartment.
“I’m fine,” she said for the ninety-ninth time.
“The sofa is right here, let’s get you settled.”
It was the only thing she could see in the living room; it had her entire focus. Just about six steps and she’d make it. How could she be trembling so badly? Nic’s steady hand was under her left elbow as he helped ease her down.
Camilla closed her eyes with relief when she was finally sitting again, even though it had been only ten minutes since she had been in Kane and A.J.’s sedan.
“It was nice of your friends to pick us up from the airport,” she murmured.
“Honey, just sit back and rest, today was a lot. Do you want to go straight to your room? Maybe go to bed for the night or take a nap?”
Camilla’s eyes snapped open. “No. I slept on the plane the entire flight, I can’t possibly be tired.”
Nic chuckled. “No, you’re not tired at all,” he said facetiously.
“You know what I mean,” she tried to snap, but her yawn ruined it.
“How about if I get you something good to eat, not like that box of food we had to pay for on the plane. Would you like that?”
Camilla adjusted her sling. Keeping her injured arm in the exact right position really helped to alleviate unnecessary pain. She massaged her sternum. Now if there was just something to stop her chest from aching as her bruises healed.
“Do I need to bring you a pain pill with food?”
“What kind of food?”
Nic pulled pillows from the other side of the sofa and put them behind her back and gave her one for her lap. It was perfect. “Thanks. So what kind of food?”
“I don’t know. I have to check the fridge. Mom said she was going to leave something. That means there are probably enough meals for an entire week.”
She could believe it. She remembered the food that was always available at the Hale house when she would go over. It had seemed like it was Mrs. Hale’s life mission to make her gain weight back in the day.
While Nic went to go check the fridge, Camilla leaned back and took a look around her. She was actually kind of shocked; his place was really nice. Like nice, nice. If she had to admit, it was put together better than hers. The living room was painted mint green, and there were big black and white photos of forests. Then on another wall was a big grouping of people. Camilla struggled to get up, she wanted a closer look.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“I wanted to see who everybody was over there,” she pointed with her left hand at the pictures on her wall.
“I’ll introduce you to everybody later.” Nic grinned. “First you’re going to eat. You get to choose from chicken and rice or lasagna.”
She pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. “Really? You even have to ask?”
He let out a big laugh. “Hey, you’re the one who said I don’t know you anymore, I didn’t want to assume anything.”
“When it comes to Italian food, you are free to assume.” She grinned.
“Okay, lasagna it is. Let me put it in the oven. It wasn’t in the freezer, just in the refrigerator, so it shouldn’t take too long. In the meantime, how about I get you a fruit smoothie?”
She thought about it. “Nah, that’ll be too much. Thanks though.”
“Be back in a moment. You stay on the couch. Promise?”
She nodded, then watched him walk to the kitchen. God, he looked good from behind. Those jeans really showed off his butt. Camilla took a deep breath.
Down girl, you’ve just been celibate too long. That’s all. After all this time, anybody would be looking good.
She choked back a laugh. Really? Really? You’re going to tell yourself that big of a lie? Soon you’ll be saying that bigfoot is real. She leaned back against the pillows and waited for Nic to return and hoped she could pull herself together before he did.
Once again, the same phrase swirled in her head. “I want a second chance.”
She couldn’t get those words out of her brain, out of her heart. Was a second chance po
ssible? They weren’t those two high school sweethearts anymore who had only eyes for one another. Now they were grown adults with varied experiences and disparate lives of their own. They were just so different. What happened if they did fall in love again; could they make things work?
She sat up straighter and thought about him cradling her head in the hospital, his tears mingling with hers.
Possibly fall in love? What a crock, I’m damn near at the bottom of the love hill.
“Hey, are you out here thinking deep thoughts?”
He held out a bottle of water and she took it gratefully. He’d already taken the top off for her. He sat down beside her on the couch.
“Are those photos by Ansel Adams?” she asked, trying to focus on something tangible.
He looked over his shoulder at the photo over the couch and smiled. “Yeah. We took a couple of family vacations to Yosemite, and I loved it out there. When I saw his photo of Half Dome, I was hooked. I knew I wanted some of his prints in my home.”
“So you decorated this place?” she asked tentatively.
He laughed. “What, you thought I had mom do this?”
“Not really, I was thinking a girlfriend,” she admitted.
He scooched over on the couch, took the bottle of water out of her hand, and set it down on the coffee table. “There’s never been a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong; there have been women, but there’s never been a girlfriend.”
“Never? Is it because you’re gone so much, on those kinds of missions and stuff?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “You met A.J. today. Kane’s one of my teammates, she’s his wife. So relationships are definitely doable. It just hasn’t happened for me. How about you, since I know that you were never engaged to Harris. Anyone serious?”
“There was someone in graduate school,” she admitted slowly. “But we both knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere.”
He frowned. “Why not? Hell, Cami, was he stupid?”
A sense of warmth unfurled in her chest at his words. “He was the furthest thing from stupid as possible. He was going to go teach at Cambridge. He had his path set in stone. His plan was to have a wife who would further his career by hosting dinner parties and making small talk.”
“What in the hell did you see in a guy like him?”
She bit her lip. This time it didn’t hurt quite as much, but he still noticed. He reached out and slowly touched her face, his thumb gently tugging her lip away from her teeth. “Tell me.”
“I guess I was lonely.”
“I get that,” he said softly. “I’ve been lonely too.”
“Even with…” she waved her hand. “Even with the women?”
He sighed. “Yeah, even with the women. There was never any real connection.”
“I’m sorry.” And she was.
He took the bottle out of her hand and put it on the coffee table, took her hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m not. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been waiting for you, because I haven’t. After I thought you rejected me years ago, I worked hard to put you behind me. But as soon as I heard your name two weeks ago? Hell, Cami, you were all I could think about. The past came flooding back. I realized why my life had been in stasis. I had to get to you.”
“I tried to put you behind me too,” she admitted. “After all, we were in high school, that kind of relationship never matters, right?”
He gently cupped her cheek. “Wrong. So, so wrong. Looking back, you were the most important person in my life, ever.”
Those words hit her right in her heart.
“I’m glad I’m here,” she whispered.
“So am I, baby. So am I.”
21
Three days later, Nic looked over at Cami sitting on the little patio off the side of his living room. The bruises on her face were clearing up, but that was about all that was getting better. As a matter of fact, things were getting worse.
The first night she’d slept through just fine, but the last two nights she’d had terrible nightmares. Something needed to be done because she was talking less and less. She was closing in on herself. He needed to help her, but he didn’t know how.
He went into the kitchen, far enough away that he was positive she wouldn’t be able to hear him but close enough that he would still be able to watch her. He called Raiden—he figured as the team medic he could give him some advice.
“Yeah?”
That didn’t sound good.
“Hey, Raiden, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” he answered slowly. “How are you and Camilla?”
“Not so good. She’s walling herself up and having terrible nightmares. She needs counseling, but every time I broach the subject, she just freezes up.”
He heard Raiden sigh. “Sounds familiar.”
“You’re back here in Virginia, right?”
“Yeah. Lisa’s old boss from Wilderness Trekkers finally showed up in Miami and flew back with her to Arizona, so I flew home.”
Nic didn’t respond. What could he say? Raiden’s attachment to Lisa didn’t really make sense, but when did shit really need to make sense?
“You okay?” Nic finally asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s focus on Camilla.”
“Thanks, man. I suggested counseling, but she shut me down hard. Mom made a brief attempt, but it was too much like me saying something. She crashed and burned.”
“You know who might be able to get through to her, is Carys.”
“Carys?”
“Yep.”
Nic thought about Cullen’s wife and tried to think why she could help. Granted, she was a doctor, but still.
“Think about her work with all those abused women here and abroad,” Raiden said. “I’ve talked to Cullen about her, and she’s magic. I think you should invite her over, and then get the hell out of there.”
“Ya think?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
Nic took another look at Cami’s still form in the patio chair. She was breaking his heart. “Okay, I’ll call Cullen.”
“You do that, you won’t regret it.”
When she heard the knock on her bedroom door, Camilla looked up from her new phone. She looked back down and realized she didn’t even know what book she’d supposedly been reading. She sighed.
“Come in, Nic.”
The door slowly opened. He was smiling his Nic smile and she did her best to return it. By the look on his face, she knew she’d failed.
“Cullen’s here for a visit. He brought his wife. I ordered some pizza. I made sure there were extra olives. You interested?”
It took her a moment, then she remembered Cullen as the man who had covered her with the cloth back in the jungle. She felt her eyes tingle. She forced back the tears; she was so sick of crying.
“Cami?”
“How can I resist extra olives? I’ll be right out.”
He shut the door behind him and she took a deep breath. She looked over at the bottle of pain pills and thought about taking one. Her shoulder was only throbbing a little because she’d taken a pill an hour ago so she didn’t need one, but it would take the edge off of eating with Cullen and his wife.
She picked up the open bottle with her left hand and stared at it. She really wanted to do it. Great, add drug addiction to all your other problems.
She looked at how many pills there were. She had plenty. There was another refill on the bottle.
Fuck that noise!
She snorted out a laugh, surprising herself. God, she really liked that phrase.
I wonder how many other good phrases Nic could teach me.
She put down the bottle, got out of bed, and looked at her face in the mirror. Okay, pale with dark circles under her eyes. Par for the course. The least she could do was brush her hair. So she did.
When she got out to the living area, she saw that pizza was set up on the dining room table. Nic and the other man stood up.
“You don’t have t
o stand,” she insisted.
“My mom would blister my butt if I didn’t stand when a lady entered the room,” the man she assumed was Cullen answered.
Camilla gave him a wan grin. He held out his hand. “You probably don’t remember me, but I’m Cullen Lyons, and this beautiful woman is my wife, Doctor Carys Lyons.”
The blonde woman smiled up at her. “Hello, Doctor Ross, it’s great to meet you. Nic has been telling us all about you.”
Camilla blanched, and Carys must have noticed. “He mentioned that you were a mathematics professor at William and Mary. That’s pretty impressive.”
Camilla snuck a glance at Nic who was filling up a fourth plate for her. “Why don’t you take a seat?” He motioned to a chair that he had already pulled out for her. Camilla sat down across from Carys.
“So you’re a doctor, what field do you practice?” Camilla asked.
“I’m taking it easy these days. I do some consulting at two of the hospitals in Virginia Beach.”
Carys stood up and reached for a piece of cheesy garlic bread.
“Honey, I would have got that for you,” Cullen admonished.
Camilla took note of the gentle curve of Carys’ stomach. She guessed that she was about five months pregnant.
“There will come a day when I can’t reach across the table. When that happens I’ll let you wait on me; until then I’m getting my own food,” Carys smiled at her husband.
“Would you like something besides water?” Nic asked Camilla. “There’s soda, lemonade, wine?”
“How about lemonade?”
He got up and got her glass of lemonade from the kitchen.
About halfway through dinner, Camilla could actually feel herself come out of her funk a little bit. Cullen was really funny, and Carys was like some kind of nurturing earth mother. She was going to be a fantastic mom.
“So Cullen and I are going to head over to the gym. We’re meeting some guys for a basketball game. Will you two be okay alone?” Nic asked.
“Sure,” Camilla smiled.
“Is there dessert?” Carys asked.
Her Faithful Protector: A Navy SEAL Romance (Night Storm Book 6) Page 15