What the holy fuck, fuck. Was she out of her ever-loving mind?!
She must have seen him ready to interrupt because she slapped her left hand over his mouth. “Don’t say anything, okay? Just don’t. I don’t know how I managed to get my head so mixed up, Nic. I really don’t. And I didn’t think that way at first. These thoughts started to creep up on me like some kind of jungle vine after I was here for a few days. I was even thinking how it was my fault that Michael Lyton died. He called out for my help when he got El Jefe’s rifle after the crash. Everything with the pain from my shoulder and the pain meds just kept getting more and more muddled. I was spiraling. You know?”
“Can I talk now?”
She nodded.
“No I don’t understand this, not really,” he admitted.
“Really? You don’t spiral when you think that you should have been able to save me?”
He thought about what she just said. How many times did he relive those moments when he had that fucking rapist bastard in his scope, and desperately wanted to take a shot. How many times did vomit fill his mouth as he thought about Cami being nude from the waist up, being violated while he did nothing? Hell yes, it was a spiral into hell.
He bowed his head until his forehead was touching hers. “So you really are a genius, huh?”
“Yep.”
“So how did Doctor Cricket stop you from spiraling? What was today’s breakthrough?”
“Like I said, she made me think of it from a different angle.”
Nic couldn’t wait. He didn’t give a shit if the breakthrough helped him, all that mattered was that it had helped Cami. “Tell me.”
“All she did was ask me if I thought the others brought it on themselves. I practically yelled out the word, ‘No.’ I was appalled at her even thinking that. They were victims.”
Nic nodded. “Of course they were. Victims of animals.”
“Exactly right,” Camilla agreed vehemently. “Then she asked me what made me think I was somehow different than any of them. What set me apart? Who made me God?”
Nic felt a smile forming. The doctor was good. Really good.
“What did you say to that?”
“Well, I blustered for a while, saying how I was the teacher, and I was in charge, and that made me different from the rest. Then she gave me the gotcha question.”
Now Camilla grinned. Her eyes actually sparkled.
Nic was seeing where this was going but he still asked. “What was the gotcha question?”
“She wanted to know if that meant that Lisa, who was the tour guide, had brought this on herself.”
“Once again I practically yelled, ‘hell no.’ All Doctor Cricket had to do after that was raise her eyebrow. I got it. I really got it. All that shame I’d been holding melted away. Nic, it just melted away. Can you believe it?”
“Yes, baby, I can.”
She reached up and stroked his cheek. “So you see how you can’t blame yourself?”
He thought about lying but that wasn’t who they were. “Not really.”
“How many of your team members were dying to stop what was happening to Lisa and me?”
He didn’t answer.
He felt her finger trace the cleft in his chin. “Honey? Can you answer me?”
“Every single one of us who could see what was happening,” he admitted.
“Do you blame them for not taking a shot, or do you think they did the right thing to wait?”
With every fiber of his being, he wanted to say it wasn’t the same. But looking into those solemn blue eyes, he couldn’t. She was right. She was absolutely right.
“Nic?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think that maybe you can forgive yourself?” she asked quietly, her fingers still caressing his face.
“I think I might be able to start.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
23
“I am so sick of doing everything left-handed,” Camilla huffed. When Nic laughed, she gave him a side-eyed glare. “That is so not funny.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I am also sick of this apartment. I’m going stir crazy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“If you call me ma’am one more time I’m going to hit you!”
Nic seriously considered calling her ma’am again to see what would happen, but he refrained. He also didn’t point out that they had just been to her apartment three days ago to pick up a suitcase worth of clothes and toiletries, and spent the night there. He at least had the good sense not to try to use logic at this point, not when she was so riled up.
“Is it okay if I tell you you’re beautiful when you’re angry?”
Camilla marched to the sofa, picked up one of the decorative pillows, and threw it at him. He let it hit him, figuring that would give her a little bit of satisfaction. Anyway, he had been telling the truth; she was wearing an orange sundress that looked fantastic with her pale skin and chestnut hair.
“Stop smiling.” Her eyes narrowed and she picked up another pillow.
Oh no, he wasn’t having that.
He strode toward her.
“Don’t you dare come near me, Nicholas Hale. I’m armed and dangerous.” She lifted the pillow high over her head. Nic easily took it out of her hand and tossed it back onto the sofa. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
“It seems to me that you have a lot of excess energy today. Maybe we need to find a way for you to channel it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed.
Things had been coming to a head since her breakthrough four days ago. “How is your shoulder?” he asked. “Are you in pain?”
“No,” she whispered. She looked up at him, her eyes dark with desire. Oh yeah, it was time. Nic’s breathing stopped as he contemplated her full lips and flushed face. Years, it had been years since he had kissed her. Her left arm snaked around his neck and she tried to pull his head down, breaking him out of his trance.
Go easy. You need to take it easy, man.
Nic tilted his head and slanted his lips over hers. Memories burst into his brain, immediately overpowered by the sublime beauty of this moment. Camilla’s mouth flowered open, welcoming a deeper kiss as she pulled him even tighter. His eyes started to drift shut but he slammed them open, wanting to watch the woman in his arms, not wanting to miss anything about their new first kiss.
He slid his tongue into her mouth and she moaned. He was lost in the pleasure of her heat and taste. Over and over again, he kissed and nipped at her mouth. She melted against him and he gladly took her weight, as both hands caressed her ass through the thin cotton of her dress. She ground her front against his arousal, rocketing his desire higher and higher.
He had to stop. One more instant and he would be carrying her into his bedroom, and it was too soon. They still had things to work out.
He slowly pulled away from their kiss and looked down at her dazed expression.
“Why did you stop?”
“It’s too soon to take this step,” he whispered. “Please know that I want to make love to you, but I want to make sure we do this at the right time.”
Her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
He moved one hand and stroked her back in long sweeps. “Our relationship talk. You said you wanted to wait until you got your feet back on the ground, remember?”
Camilla stepped back and Nic loosened his hold. “Honey, despite what I said back then, we’ve been moving forward all along. At least that’s how it’s seemed to me. Am I wrong?” Camilla asked.
“Oh hell no. I’ve been getting to know you for the last four weeks. The new and improved Cami, and I’ve been impressed as hell.”
He watched her blush. How could she be blushing?
“Well don’t be too impressed, I’m pretty boring. I’ve been at the same University for six years,” she reminded him.
“Yeah, and how many papers have you wri
tten? What about the time you were asked to teach a semester in Ireland? I would say that was pretty impressive.”
“That’s boring math stuff,” she protested. “You’re out saving lives.”
“I thought I was just a glorified thug that Uncle Sam pays to do their dirty work,” he teased.
“Never say that!” Camilla said in a horrified voice. “Don’t you dare.”
Nic laughed.
“I’m serious, Nic, don’t even say that in jest.”
He held up his hands. “Okay, I promise.”
“As for our relationship building, I’ve been getting to know you too. You’re one amazing man. Watching you cook blackberry cobbler and then taking it over to Mimi and Alice was a great day. I learned a lot about you.”
Nic flushed. He’d been worried when he’d left Alice and Camilla alone while he’d played with Mimi in the backyard. “What do you mean you learned a lot about me?”
“There’s too much to go into,” she waved her hand then she rested it on his chest. “You have such a good heart, Nic.”
“I see a man who found a way to get me into counseling when I needed it. A man who sees to my physical needs when I’m in pain. A man who cares deeply for his cousin and her child. Your generosity of spirit overwhelms me.”
Nic held her gaze even though it was hard under all that praise. “I love how we play together too. I love how you’re smarter than me.”
Nic snorted, “how in the hell am I smarter than a genius?”
“You see things about people that I miss. Even small things like that waitress at the restaurant. You knew to ask her about her baby because you saw a little bit of spit-up on her shoulder. You got her talking and smiling when she was clearly dead on her feet.”
“It’s part of my job to notice things.”
“Yeah sure. I’m buying that.” Camilla rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’ve definitely gotten to know you, and I’m dazzled by you.”
She paused, then cleared her throat.
“Let me be as clear as possible, okay?”
He nodded. Waiting.
“I love you. I love you now and I loved you then. And if I’m totally honest with myself I think I’ve loved you all the time in between.”
He froze, then clasped her hand where it was still resting on his chest.
“I love you more than words can say, Cami. My heart beats because yours does.” He couldn’t help the rasp in his voice.
She gave him a slow, sultry smile. “Does that mean we can make love now?”
He ran the back of his knuckles down her jaw. “Oh honey, the things I’m going to do to you,” he whispered.
Nic bent down and picked her up, enjoying her little squeak of surprise. He was careful of her injured shoulder, already considering how he was going to make love to her without causing her any pain.
He didn’t let her down until they were in front of his bed. Then he indulged in another heady kiss, a kiss that only Cami could provide. It was like water in the desert. She slid her hand underneath his t-shirt and he shuddered with pleasure. In the meantime, he worked down the zipper of her dress. The only time he pulled back from the kiss was to help get her arms out of the straps.
“I’ve got to tell you that there has been a huge upside to your shoulder injury,” Nic said as he lowered her dress down past her hips.
“What’s that?”
“You never wear a bra.”
“I know, even when the nurse was here in the beginning to help me into one I didn’t put it on. I can’t unhook it at night, so it’s easier to go without.”
Nic brushed her breasts with the tips of his fingers and her nipples hardened. “I’ve had hundreds of fantasies of these breasts in the four weeks you’ve been here.”
“Hundreds, huh?”
“Maybe more.”
Her nails scraped the length of his chest beneath his t-shirt. “Take this off,” she commanded.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Say that again, and I’ll give you trouble,” she warned.
He pulled the shirt over his head and then grinned down at her. “What kind of trouble?”
“Good trouble.”
He felt himself flush as she stared at his chest.
“You’ve changed. I mean, you were always built, but now you have a man’s body, you know?”
Nic chuckled. “Should I take that as a compliment?”
She leaned forward and rubbed her face against his broad chest. “Oh yeah, it’s definitely a compliment.”
Feeling her bare breasts against his body was the best kind of torture imaginable. Then she was kissing him, her lips soft. Then he felt her teeth scrape over his lips and he thought his head might explode.
He walked her backward until her legs hit the end of the bed. He eased her down to a sitting position. He knelt down in front of her.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked one last time.
She laughed. “You’re a nut if you have to ask that again.”
He grinned, and then he gripped her panties and pulled them off, flinging them over his shoulder. Her eyes went wide when he widened her thighs.
“Are you going to—”
He looked away from her silken folds and met her eyes. “You bet I am.”
“That was never on the menu before.” She sounded very excited.
“This is the new and improved menu.” He coaxed her legs just a little wider. “Lay back.”
“No, I want to watch.” Yep, she was definitely excited.
His thumbs parted her lower lips and he groaned when he saw how wet she was for him. She was breathing fast and her hand fisted in his short hair. He licked along the seam of her sex and delighted in her moan of excitement. Her taste was unbelievable; clean and tart and all things Cami. He moved upwards and circled his tongue around her clit. She bucked up against him.
“Oh God, Nic.”
Her nails bit into his scalp.
He sucked her swollen bundle of nerves into his mouth, then laved it with his tongue. She began to moan in earnest. Nic slowly slid a finger into her tight sheath and Camilla shuddered. Her channel squeezed his digit hard, she was so close. He sucked harder and went a little deeper and she cried out.
“Nic!” she wailed.
He stood up and helped her to the middle of the bed and laid down beside her. Minutes later, her blue eyes shot open. “Is making love on the menu?” she asked.
“Oh yeah.”
“Then take off those damn jeans.”
24
Camilla stretched and reached for Nic, but he wasn’t in bed beside her. She looked at the window and squinted; she could see that the sun was pretty bright behind the blinds. Just how late was it?
She sat up, pulling the sheet up over her breasts. When she looked around the room, she saw one of her sleep shirts lying across the bottom of the bed. Could the man be any more thoughtful?
After she put on the shirt, she opened the door and smelled bacon.
“You interested in breakfast?” Nic called out.
Her stomach rumbled with interest.
“Yep. Let me pull on some clothes.” She’d shower after breakfast.
She went to the bathroom down the hall and took care of her morning business including brushing her teeth. She tried to tame her hair, but no matter what she did, it still looked like sex hair. A shower and shampoo after breakfast would take care of that. She threw on shorts and a t-shirt and found Nic in the dining room already, with two plates set up.
“You’re not expecting me to eat all of this, are you?” Camilla grabbed the big glass of orange juice and started drinking before she even sat down.
“We’ll just see. My guess is that you’re going to be pretty hungry. I already had a blenderful of smoothie. This is my second breakfast.”
“No wonder you go work out every day.”
“Yep, this body doesn’t happen by accident.”
Camilla plopped some of her cheesy scrambled eggs on her t
oast and took a bite. “This is wonderful. I’m going to have to start working out at this rate.”
“You’re perfect just the way you are.”
He sure as hell made her feel that way last night.
“So, besides my doctor’s appointment, what’s on today’s agenda?”
Nic raised his eyebrow and gave her a slow smile.
How could she go from eating breakfast to hot for his body in less than a second?
“My doctor’s appointment is in two and a half hours. I think we have some time to kill, don’t you?”
“Finish your breakfast, miss; you’re going to need your strength.”
Camilla laughed and put another forkful of cheesy eggs onto her toast. When the doorbell rang, Nic went to go answer it and she kept eating. Lately, there had been a lot of salespeople coming through the apartment complex. Nic always answered and politely told them no. He really was a nice guy.
“I want to talk to her,” she heard her mother say.
Oh, bloody hell.
Camilla hastily put down her fork and took a swig of her orange juice, then wiped her mouth with the paper towel. By the time she got up and turned around, her mother was in the middle of the living room. She was all decked out in one of her power pantsuits. She was even wearing her clunky gold choker made of real gold. Yep, she meant business, and Camilla saw red. This was the woman who had sent back Nic’s letters.
She gave Camilla a long once over and pursed her lips. “Really, this is how you’re dressing now? You look like a freshman at a community college.”
“God forbid,” Camilla said. Nic winked at her over her mother’s shoulder. It helped. Maybe she could do this without screaming like a banshee.
“You haven’t answered my calls or texts. You’ve forced me to come.”
“Actually, I didn’t Mother. I would have thought you would get the message that I didn’t want to talk to you right now. And I don’t. I’m pissed off at you, and it’s going to take a long time before I can talk to you in a reasonable tone.”
Her mother pulled up her purse strap and stood straighter. “Really, Camilla, I don’t condone language like that. Clearly, this man has been a bad influence. Get your things, we’re leaving now.”
Her Faithful Protector: A Navy SEAL Romance (Night Storm Book 6) Page 17