Kyle is supposed to be here at any moment, and I can’t stop fidgeting. I’ve checked my hair and makeup at least a dozen times, and I’ve changed my shoes twice.
The doorbell rings, and I jump half a foot in the air.
“Are you going to answer it?” she asks, smiling at the milk in the bottom of her bowl.
I toss my hair over my shoulder. Then I change my mind and pull a little back to frame my face. Before I answer the door, I take a deep, calming breath, and shove it behind my shoulder once more.
I put on a subtle, come-hither expression and swing the door open.
“Heath?” I ask, deflating when I find my brother on the porch. “What are you doing here?”
The moment Heath steps into the house, Savannah darts like a drenched cat. He stares after her, probably startled by her hasty departure. “Savannah’s still here?” he asks, “I thought she was looking for a place of her own.”
“I like having her here, and she likes being here, so I asked her to stay. She’s helping with the rent now.”
He frowns in the direction she disappeared. After a moment, he turns back to me. “Are you ready to go?”
I blink at him. “Go?”
My brother stares at me for several seconds as though he’s waiting for me to remember something. But what?
And then it hits me.
Oh no. We’re supposed to go shopping for Mom’s birthday. I completely spaced it when Kyle asked me out last night.
“You forgot?” Heath asks.
Before I can answer, the doorbell rings again. This time, it must be Kyle. Heath turns around and opens the door.
“Hey, Heath,” Kyle says, looking mildly surprised to find my brother at my house. “What brings you by this morning?”
“Kaylee and I are going shopping.”
Kyle gives me a questioning look.
“I accidentally double-booked,” I explain, hoping to look apologetic. “I’m so sorry.”
“Mom’s birthday is Monday,” Heath reminds me. “And I work tomorrow.”
I resist the urge to curse, knowing I’m going to have to ask Kyle for a raincheck. I made plans with Heath first after all, and our outing has a deadline.
Heath turns to Kyle. “What did you two have planned?”
“We were going to drive to Phoenix and go to the old hamburger place we used to visit in high school. No big deal.”
No big deal? My hopes deflate like a balloon left out in the sun.
My brother turns to me, raising his brows. I subtly shake my head so he won’t read too much into it. Not a date.
Heath studies me for a moment and then shrugs. “What if I join you? We can shop in Phoenix.”
“Oh, uh…” I stammer.
“Sure,” Kyle answers, giving me an easy smile. “That would be great.”
He doesn’t care? Not even a little bit?
“Maybe Savannah would like to go with us,” Heath adds all casual-like.
Slowly, I turn to my brother, trying not to smirk. “She might like that. Let me go ask her.”
Heath gives me a funny look, as if he’s confused by my Cheshire cat smile, but I don’t give him a chance to ask what it’s about. I hurry down the hall, eventually finding Savannah in the shower. I crack open the door. “Heath is coming with Kyle and me to Phoenix, and he asked if you’d like to come along.”
She doesn’t answer right away, which surprises me. I thought she’d be ecstatic.
“Sure,” she finally answers. “Give me ten minutes.”
“You can go from shower to ready in just ten minutes?”
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll just let my hair air dry.”
Shaking my head, jealous because my hair isn’t anywhere near that cooperative, I close the door and leave her to it.
12
“So, how are things at the hospital?” I ask Heath as soon as Kaylee leaves.
I’ve always been more Kaylee’s friend than Heath’s, but we’re cool. He’s six years older, so we didn’t hang out. He was the king of the school type—dated all the homecoming and prom queens, took his soccer team to state and won, graduated as valedictorian. He’s the kind of guy that sets the bar too high—doctor, charming with the ladies, good-looking. He was voted most likely to succeed and best smile in his senior yearbook.
It’s a mystery why he’s still single—or maybe it’s not a mystery. He’s devoted the last eight years of his life to his education and career.
“Good,” he says. “The ER has slowed down some now that we’re past the holidays.”
“You must see some crazy things.”
He rolls his eyes and nods.
“So, Kyle,” he then says, obviously about to change the subject. “How are you holding up?”
Ava is literally the last thing I want to talk about. I’d rather he ask if I remembered to go to my last physical or point out a mole that should be looked at.
“Fine,” I answer.
He crosses his arms, assessing me…and looking like he’s not too pleased with what he sees. “You and Kaylee have been spending a lot of time together.”
A silent warning sounds in my brain. “Yeah…Kaylee’s great.”
“She is great—the best.” He narrows his eyes. “Listen, I’m going to make this quick because she’ll be back any minute. It’s not my business, but it’s time someone stepped in because this has been going on for years, and it’s getting ridiculous—”
“What has?” I interrupt, taking a subtle step back even though Heath is more likely to stitch someone up than throw a punch. Or maybe I have that wrong. Perhaps he’s the type to throw a punch knowing he can sew up his victim once he’s finished.
“I’m going to be blunt with you, Kyle,” he says with a hard smile. “Kaylee is in love with you, and you’re either an idiot for not figuring it out, or you’re stringing her along. As her older brother, I’ve got to tell you, I’m not going to be happy if it’s the second.”
I stare at him, trying to process.
After a moment, I shake my head to clear it. “No, it’s not like that. We’re not. I mean, we don’t… Kaylee doesn’t—”
“She does, though. She’s told me many, many times, usually after you’ve done something stupid to upset her.”
Done something stupid to upset her? I’d rather dislocate my arm than hurt Kaylee. My brain whirls, memories zipping through my mind as I analyze them with new eyes.
“How long has she felt that way?” I demand.
After I broke up with Ava? Before? While I was dating her?
“How long have you been friends?”
“About fourteen years.”
He nods, looking patronizing as all get-out. “About fourteen years then.”
I curse under my breath, my world rocking under my feet. All this time?
“So the question is,” Heath says, “how do you feel about her?”
How do I feel about Kaylee?
“I…well,” I stammer. “I mean, I love her. She’s my best friend.”
“Are you in love with her?”
I toss my hands up. “I have no idea. We’ve never crossed that line—I didn’t know she’d even be okay with crossing that line.”
“Do you want to cross it?”
“I don’t know.” I rub the back of my neck, overwhelmed. “I mean, fine, I’ve thought about it. Of course, I have. But we don’t…”
Do that.
Heath takes a step forward, his expression becoming solemn. “If even the smallest part of you might care for her the way she cares for you, I suggest you stop playing it safe and see what happens. If it blows up in your face, at least Kaylee will know, and she can move on.”
My mouth moves, but I have no words.
“Savannah wants to come,” Kaylee says, walking back into the room, saving me from answering her brother. “She says she needs ten more minutes.” She stops dead in her tracks when she spots us and gives us both a questioning look. “What’s going on?”
I
stare at her, seeing her in a whole new light.
“I was talking to Kyle about a guy with a heart problem,” Heath says nonchalantly. “Seriously screwed up case.”
“Oh…okay.” She doesn’t look like she quite believes it, but she brushes her concern aside. “Were you able to help him?”
Heath shoots me a look. “I don’t know yet. I gave him the info he needs to get on track, but he has to do most of the work himself.”
13
Believe it or not, I didn’t imagine my older brother coming on my kind-of date with Kyle. And to be honest, I’m not too happy he’s here. But what can I do?
Heath leans forward, his eyes on Savannah. “I’m simply saying ‘stage actress’ is one of those professions with an expiration date. You should start thinking about what you want to do when you…grow up.”
I suck in a breath. Heath is usually so nice. If nothing else, this little road trip has brought it to my attention that Savannah brings out the absolute worst in my brother. I’m not sure what it is about her that calls out the high and mighty in him, but he’s really on a roll.
“You act like I’m a starving artist.” Savannah forces a smile. “I have a day job.”
“Savannah works at the boutique that’s two doors down from the floral shop,” I say, jumping in to back her up. I glare at my brother, silently telling him to drop it. “She started just after Thanksgiving.”
He doesn’t drop it.
“Besides, we don’t have a theater around here,” he says to Savannah, blatantly ignoring me. “Do you plan to commute to Phoenix every time you land a part?”
“Heath,” I say, shoving his grilled chicken salad closer to him. “Eat.”
I’m hoping they’ll both feel better after lunch. At least we didn’t try to take the two of them shopping before we fed them.
“Actually,” Savannah says, “If I get this part, I’ll be moving to Flagstaff for the summer.”
“Flagstaff.” Heath sits back in his seat. “You’d move there, all alone, just for a part?”
“It’s not that far away.” She gives him a tight smile, looking like she’s debating whether she should squirt ketchup in his hair. “And it’s a good part.”
Feeling a deep-rooted need to break the tension, I clasp my hands on top of the table. “I, for one, think it’s great Savannah tried out for the part in the Renaissance faire. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
Heath snorts as though fun is both frivolous and unnecessary.
Across from me, Kyle focuses on his bacon burger, ignoring the drama. He’s barely said a word all afternoon, and it’s freaking me out. I frown at him, trying to figure out what’s wrong.
Feeling my gaze, he looks up. Our eyes meet and hold. His stormy gaze is different than usual, more intense, and there’s a little tilt to his eyebrow. It’s as though he’s trying to figure out something. He studies me just long enough I go from a perfectly healthy ninety-eight-point-six degrees to somewhere closer to the temperature of the blazing sun…and then he looks back at his lunch.
I’ve been harboring feelings for Kyle for, well, pretty much forever. It’s almost to the point I’m used to them; they’re just there. But I can’t take this strange mood of his. I feel like I’m fifteen again, with a full-out, angst-riddled crush. I just want him to talk to me. Or hold my hand. Or ask me to prom.
“Excuse me,” I murmur, sliding out of the booth, needing to get away so I can try to rewire my brain to think more age-appropriate thoughts.
I make my way to the bathroom, scolding myself.
The restrooms are down a hall that’s lined with old photos of famous people who have visited in the past five or so decades. The floors are scuffed hardwood, and the walls are a faded, cracking tan plaster that suits the place. It’s very old-west.
I walk into the women’s room and head straight for the sinks. They’re made from a material that mimics hammered copper, and a potted cactus sits on the countertop. It must be fake since there are no windows in here, but it looks real.
Just as I feared, my face is flushed. Rolling my eyes, I wet a paper towel and dab it on my neck, hoping the blotchiness will go away. Thankfully, I wore my hair down today. I arrange it carefully, hiding as much skin as possible.
After doing damage control, I give myself a quick pep talk. “It’s just Kyle,” I say. “Not a big deal. You’ve known him forever.”
But this is a new Kyle. A broody Kyle. A romance movie Kyle.
I have no defense for this strange mood of his, and that’s very dangerous. To make matters worse, I keep thinking about last night. I saved the ridiculous printout from speed dating because it declared Kyle likes me. If that isn’t pathetic, I don’t know what is.
Determined not to let these thoughts plague me for the rest of the afternoon, I step from the restroom…just as Kyle turns down the hall. Our eyes meet in the dim space, and my pulse jumps.
I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything…which makes the moment far more awkward than it should be. We just keep walking forward, eyes locked.
I don’t know what to do with my arms. They hang there, dead at my sides. On impulse, I reach to adjust my purse strap—a nervous habit—and then remember I left my purse at the table. Now it looks like I was trying to fix a bra strap that fell out of place. Awesome.
The halls in these old buildings are narrow, and I realize that unless I flatten myself against the wall, and maybe even suck in, we’re going to touch as we pass.
Before it comes to that, Kyle stops in front of me. “Savannah is going to kill your brother.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s talking. He almost sounds normal. “You noticed that, did you? You’ve been so spacey today; I didn’t know if you were actually with us.”
He raises a dark brow and cocks his head slightly to the side. “Spacey?”
We’re closer now, about an arm’s length apart. I don’t think I moved in, but I didn’t see Kyle take another step either.
“You know.” I shrug. “Kind of lost in your own world.”
Just like at the table, he studies me, tilting his head a little further. “Who is it?”
“Who is who?” I ask, confused.
“This guy you like. The one you mentioned last night.” He narrows his eyes just a touch. “Who is it?”
“O..oh,” I stutter and then begin to laugh. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
Why won’t this hallway expand a few feet?
“Because it’s not important,” I tell him.
“Is it someone I work with? Is that why you’re being quiet about it? You’re afraid I’ll rat you out?” He laughs under his breath. “Please tell me it’s not Daniel.”
“It’s not Daniel.”
He shifts forward, and this time, I notice. His smile becomes a teasing smirk. “Is it me?”
Red alert!
“Yes, Kyle,” I say, rolling my eyes and pushing my way past him. “It’s you. I’ve secretly been in love with you forever.”
It’s kind of amazing how you can tell the truth and protect yourself if you use enough sarcasm—and I doused those words with a lethal dose of it.
By the time I slide into my seat, I’ve even convinced myself I got away with it.
14
The day ends up going better than I expect, which is a miracle considering it started with Heath basically telling me I need to make a move on his sister or he’ll murder me in my sleep. He didn’t use as many words, but his meaning was clear.
We pull up to Kaylee’s house, and Savannah disappears into her room, claiming she has a call to make. It’s probably an excuse to get away from Heath.
Kaylee’s brother leaves a few minutes later. A twinge of nerves hits me when Heath walks out the door. This is the first time I’ve ever been nervous about being alone with Kaylee.
I stand in front of her mantle, looking at the various knick-knacks and pictures she’s placed up there. All I can think about is o
ur conversation in the hall at the restaurant. Yes, Kyle. It’s you. I’ve secretly been in love with you forever.
I think she was deflecting.
I think she meant it.
I think I need to kiss her.
“Are you okay?” Kaylee asks after a few long minutes. “You’ve been really weird today.”
She sits on the couch and pulls her legs up, crossing them in front of her. I watch her, taking in every detail. I know everything about her, from the small white scar on her inner right arm that she got when she tripped on the school stairs in fifth grade to the freckles across the bridge of her nose that are only visible when she’s not wearing makeup.
I know she’s beautiful. She always has been.
I know her eyes are brown, but tonight, they’re dark chocolate.
I know the smile that flits across her face when she’s nervous. It’s the one she’s wearing now.
“Kyle?” she asks again. “What’s wrong?”
15
I had all afternoon to puzzle it out, and I finally came up with an answer. Heath said something to Kyle; I know it.
Kyle was just fine before I went to talk to Savannah, and when I came back, he looked like someone had told him the moon landing was a farce and the world is actually flat. And weird doesn’t even begin to cover his mood.
And now he’s staring at me again.
“Kyle?” I say, getting truly nervous. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He clears his throat and then crosses the room. The couch dips a little as he sits next to me, and I try not to think about how handsome he is, or how we’re all alone.
But we’re always alone. This isn’t anything new.
That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
The truth is, I’m terrified Kyle discovered how I feel about him, and he’s trying to figure out a way to tell me he doesn’t feel the same way. If Heath told him, I swear I’m going to—
“Actually, there is something on my mind.” Kyle’s eyes meet mine, and my blood goes cold. Here it comes. “But it’s not easy to talk about.”
27 Ways to Mend His Broken Heart Page 7