“Surprise me,” he said when I arrived at his table with my notepad.
“I’d rather not,” I told him and meant it. I was done with this game.
He ordered a garden salad and a double shot of expresso (which naturally made me think of Lex.) The rest was a repeat performance of yesterday. He sat there for hours, staring out the window or at his phone. He ordered two more coffees. Every now and again, I felt his eyes on me and when I looked, his lips twisted into that cruel smile and he made sure to look a moment longer before his gaze fell away.
He was trying to unnerve me…and it was working.
We didn’t have a policy on table-hogging at the Grill and it wasn’t unusual for a table to settle in for the afternoon. But Gideon wasn’t just a diner whiling away the hours with nothing better to do and nowhere else to be. I got the impression he was very purposely engaged and his business of the day was somehow wrapped up in me.
Which meant it was somehow wrapped up in Lex. He was the only space where Gideon and I overlapped.
As my shift drew near its end, I slid into the chair across from Gideon. “Mind if I join you?”
His mouth kicked up at the corners. “Isn’t there a rule about fraternizing with the clientele?”
“This isn’t a brothel.”
“I think they’re called massage parlors this century,” he drawled, amusement sparking his eyes, chasing away the darkest depths of black.
For a heartbeat, his gaze held a hint of warmth.
I blinked and it was gone. “What are you doing here?”
“Here in Shadow Horn? Here at this restaurant? Here at the table with you?” He leant back, one arm resting comfortably on the table. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“Is this how you intend to spend all your afternoons?”
“Preferably not.”
Okay, maybe I really should be more specific. “Have I done something to offend you?”
“Despite your best efforts, you mean?” He barked out a laugh. “No, not at all.”
He studied me, his fingers drumming a slow, steady beat in the silence. Then everything stopped. The drum roll. The games. The attitude. “I’m sorry. I was unconscionably rude when we met. You didn’t deserve that.”
Thank you! “Care to explain what that was about?”
“No.” He stood and pulled out his wallet, throwing down enough notes to cover his meal and then some before he said, “See you,” and left.
I turned in the chair to watch him walk out the door, not entirely comfortable with this new, slightly less despicable version of Gideon Crest. I got the feeling that when Gideon gave an inch, he took a foot in return, and I wasn’t about to be swallowed whole.
Once he was out of view, I shook off his lingering presence and slipped into the staff locker room to get Lex’s number from my purse.
Meet me at the brackens, I texted, not sure what I was doing, not thinking too hard about it.
And since I had my phone out, I pulled up the journal app like the addiction it had become since that day after I turned seventeen. My father had returned to his life. Lynn was gone and the note she’d left said she wasn’t coming back. A family emergency. I’d never been her family. I’d never been more than a job and she’d resigned without notice.
I’d sat at the kitchen counter that morning, absorbing my new reality.
My phone had buzzed. A new notification: Hawk installed. I hadn’t downloaded the app, not that I recalled, but curious, I’d opened it onto the short introductory message, “Journal your thoughts,” and I had, there and then.
@hawk
Now I’m alone.
Completely and utterly alone.
And I’d never stopped.
It was cathartic.
Not a true journal, not a record of my day-to-day life like a memoir I could look back on or try to make sense of. @hawk had become the home of my chaotic thoughts and messy emotions, a trash can to hold the excess when I spilled over. A secret I kept close to my heart like the faithful addict I was.
Now I tapped the @hawk icon, a black hawk in flight with silver tipped wings, and spilled over.
@hawk
He apologizes for being rude then rudely stands up in the middle of our conversation, throws money on the table and leaves. He’s like a Picasso masterpiece. Beautiful and twisted. I can’t look away.
In the trash can.
I’d never have to look at it again.
Gideon wasn’t a masterpiece.
He was just beautiful and twisted.
I could look away and never look back.
Erased.
7
LEX
All the crazy shit going on inside me quietened as I watched Sage walk through the park entrance.
She’d come straight from her shift at the Shadow Grill, dressed in jeans with tattered hems, sneakers, a plain white tee. Her hair was scooped back into a low, unbothered ponytail.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Her gaze swept over the picnic tables and landed on me at the base of the oak tree, those gorgeous brown eyes sinking into me.
A slow grin softened my mouth as she drew me into that look. My damn bones softened.
This was exactly why I’d given her my number and that speech and why I’d meant every word. Not because I was sorry for acting like a boar. Not because of anything she needed. What Sage needed was to drop off the fucking end of the world so far as Gideon and I were concerned. To have never have existed to either of us.
I’d put the decision of us on her because I couldn’t do it, no matter how much I knew I should.
I couldn’t walk away.
Maybe she could. I hoped so…almost as much as I hoped she couldn’t. That’s how badly she screwed with my head.
If she walked away, I’d find a way to keep her safe from Gideon.
If she stayed, I’d find a way to her safe from Gideon.
If she walked away, I’d eventually get over her.
If she stayed, she’d never forgive me.
When she started in my direction, I picked myself up from the ground and met her halfway. “Would you like a coffee?”
“Can we walk?” she said at the same time.
“Sure.” I ticked my chin toward the trail and we fell in side-by-side, leaving behind the activity and noise clutter of the park for the dense calm of the woodland trail.
A breeze tickled through the trees and the constant hum of insects filled our silence. The faintest trace of vanilla teased every breath I took. Her perfume? Shampoo? It was also the taste of her kisses. Kiss. Barely a kiss.
I hitched my thumbs into the front pockets of my jeans.
Unhitched them.
Why wasn’t she saying anything? “Sage.”
She sent me a sidelong glance. “Why is Gideon stalking me?”
My feet slammed to a halt. “Stalking you?”
“He’s spent the last two afternoons at the Grill and it’s not for the food.” She veered off the trail, into the thick of velvet pines and shadows.
After a beat, I followed.
Gideon was staking out the square. He figured in a town as small as Shadow Horn, sooner or later the demon would pass through.
He’d said nothing to me about doing it from the Shadow Grill.
It wasn’t for convenience. Gideon didn’t operate that way and the Grill wasn’t central enough to make its position strategic for his stakeout.
Sage stopped tramping on ahead and leant back against a tall pine, arms folded, frown on me. “Do you know what he’s up to?”
“No,” I lied through my teeth as it hit me. We had a Claimed bound and gagged in my studio. We had a sophisticated demon on the loose who liked to play with humans.
He’s not stalking her; he’s watching over her. Protecting what is his. Or mine. Or whatever the fuck.
“Is that it?” she muttered. “You think I’m paranoid? That it’s all in my head?”
“I don’t think any of that.” I
stepped up to her, hating what we’ve already started doing to her. “I’ll talk to Gideon. Tell him to back off.”
“Should I be scared?”
Yes. I placed my hands on her shoulders. “No,” I said gently. “Of course not.”
She searched my eyes, searching for a truth. Her prickles slowly retracted, shading her cheeks with warmth as she wet her lips. “Okay.”
She didn’t look away, and every second dragged the conversation farther from Gideon and closer to us. The awareness of my hands on her shoulders. Her mouth turned up to mine. The charged tension in the air we shared.
Angel, sin and serpent.
She was sweet poison running through my veins, a drug I couldn’t resist.
I couldn’t lose her.
I brought my mouth down and kissed her. Vanilla. And resistance. Her hand came up, palm pressed flat to push at my chest, but then her fingers curled to bunch my t-shirt and her lips parted to deepen the kiss.
My blood heated as our tongues mated, tasting, devouring.
When I slanted the kiss to the corner of her mouth for breath, she groaned and pulled me in by my t-shirt. My hands slid over her rounded shoulders and down her arms, slipping through to her hips as my tongue slid in again and my mouth crushed her groans.
She released her grip on my t-shirt to wrap her arms around my neck, bringing her breasts and pebbled nipples flush with my chest. A wave of desire crashed over me and went straight to my cock. My hands roamed lower, over the curve of her backside, bringing her closer and lifting her onto her toes, rocking the stiffened length of my erection against her crotch.
I knew I was going too far.
Nothing would happen here in the woods, where anyone could happen along any moment.
But God, it felt good. And I’d changed my mind. I needed to claim some part of her before we had the talk.
I was taking back the decision of us.
As much as I could.
My lips left hers to nuzzle that sensitive spot below her earlobe and she arched back to give me access. I trailed hungry kisses down the column of her throat while my fingers slid beneath her t-shirt and up her back, exploring bare skin. Her breaths were as ragged as mine, breathless whimpers as she melted into me, moved against me, rubbing her breasts and crotch so sensually it hurt, a physical ache in my balls.
Fuck.
My hands went to her hips, firmly locking her movement as I pulled back and pressed my forehead to hers. “Sorry, I need a moment.”
We stayed like that a long minute, breathing our ragged breaths, my eyes closed as I gathered enough control to pull away completely. Her eyes were glazed with want, her skin flushed. I was one demented second away from tearing off her clothes and sinking myself deep into her body.
She sank first, down the length of the pine to sit on her butt, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms tightly around them as if she’d read my mind.
I backed up to sit against the pine across from her. The trees were packed so close, it gave her space without giving her distance.
“I’m sorry,” I said, this time for starting, not for stopping. I didn’t mean it. I was a total bastard, but I wouldn’t make it easy for her to walk away.
She rested her chin on her knees and looked past me. “We need to talk.”
“I know.” Look at me. Please.
“What I have to say is about me, not you,” she said. “It’s not fair on you. I get that. But I like you. I have real feelings for you, Lex.”
“I’m not just fooling around here.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what this is about. This is about how badly you hurt me and why I’m considering giving us a chance to fix this…if that’s still what you want after you hear me out.”
I couldn’t imagine not wanting her. “I’m listening.”
“My father left when I was a baby. Before my first birthday. He didn’t leave my mother. He left me. He denies it, but I’ve always known. When he visits on my birthday, he can’t wait to be gone. He never stays a minute over his allotted two hours. I spent the first half of my life begging him to talk to me, so I could understand what I did that was so hateful, so I could tell him how sorry I was, so I could change what was so bad about me. He won’t talk to me about it. He’s never given me the chance to fix it.”
She paused, swallowing visibly. “I thought my mother was happy. Or at least content. Then one day she slit her wrists. No warning. No note. No explanation. I will never know what I did that was so bad, she stopped believing I was worth living for. She never gave me a chance to say I was sorry or to fix it.”
Finally, her eyes tracked back to me. “The other day when you found me with Gideon in the den, you practically threw me out. You wouldn’t hear what I had to say. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain or fix it.”
“Jesus, Sage,” I said, my throat so thick I could hardly get the words out. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That’s debatable,” she said quietly, “and not the point. I can’t… I won’t be put in that kind of situation no matter what I’ve done. You don’t walk out on me without giving me a chance to explain, to say I’m sorry, to understand why I can’t fix it. I know this is my shit that I’m putting on you, but this is who I am.”
I didn’t have to think about it. “You’re not putting anything on me and for the record, that wasn’t me walking out on you. Not for a split second. I was angry at Gideon. I didn’t need you to be sorry or explain anything.”
“But I needed it.”
“Okay.”
She mangled her lower lip between her teeth, watching me, choosing her words. “I’m not fragile. You don’t have to be afraid of hurting me or leaving me or speaking your mind. I won’t break. That’s part of what I’m trying to say. I’m good at being strong. Too good.”
I heard her. She’d been betrayed by both her parents, the two people who were supposed to love and protect her unconditionally. She’d grown thorns. It made me more determined than ever to ensure she escaped me and Gideon unscathed.
But she wasn’t finished.
“Gideon was downright rude,” she said, “and…I don’t know, it seemed like he was trying to intimidate me. When he pinned me down in the den, I didn’t shove him away because I wanted to show him I wouldn’t be bullied.”
You didn’t shove him away because he compelled you.
“But…well, he’s not exactly bad looking, and it was confusing,” she went on. “When you came in, I felt terrible. I felt guilty.”
“And now?” I pushed to my feet, restless, uncertain. He’s not exactly bad looking. What was she saying? “Are you still confused?”
“No,” she said without hesitation, her eyes lifting to me, heavily lashed and troubled. “Not at all.”
Crouching before her, I tipped her chin up to me with two fingers, my thumb dragging at the edge of her mouth. “I have real feelings for you, too.”
I had so many feelings for her, I was losing my damn mind in them.
She blinked, a slow blink that left a tear gathering in the corner of one eye. Her thorns weren’t as hardy as she liked to think.
I’m going to save you.
Even if it means throwing you into the lion’s den.
A cursed promise.
The only kind my world had to offer.
Under exceptional circumstances, Gideon’s protective instincts where stronger than his Moon blood. I was proof of that. And I was going to reel Sage so far in, he wouldn’t see it coming. He wouldn’t even know where he’d stopped protecting her for his own selfish agenda and started protecting her for the right reasons.
“There’s something I have to do,” I said, straightening. “Can I give you a ride home?”
She shook her head. “I’m going to sit here awhile. You go on, I’m fine.”
“You always say that.”
“I always mean it,” she said with a crooked smile.
8
SAGE
“This one
,” Kenzie breathed out as we stretched forward over tucked-in knees into Child’s pose. “This one is definitely my favorite.”
I tuned her out, my eyes closed as I kissed the floor with my forehead.
“Release your body,” the instructor’s soft voice drifted over us like a lullaby.
I released everything. My thoughts fell away. The restless night I’d spent after that make-out session with Lex in the woods yesterday fell away. My universe re-centered around my happy space.
It was freaking awesome.
Until we were dismissed and Kenzie mentioned as we were walking out, “Oh, there’s a Beach, Beer and Bikini party at the creek this afternoon. Senna and Jane are organizing.”
Senna and Jane meant the cheer squad and football team. Which meant Kenzie needed a chaperone.
Haley and I shared a look, doing the same math.
“I’m working,” I said.
“Me, too.” Haley turned to Kenzie. “We’ll come by after our shift. Try not to get into trouble before then.”
“Moi?” Kenzie said sweetly.
Haley scowled at her. “Grant will be there.”
“And Callie,” I supplied helpfully.
Kenzie laughed. “Are you serious?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Have you hooked up again with Grant recently?”
“Oh, my God.” She shook her head at us, her mouth tightening. “That is none of your business.”
“Kenzie, come on.” Haley touched her arm. “We’re just worried about you.”
“I’m not the one you should be worried about. I’m single and free to do as I like.” Kenzie flipped her hair over her shoulder and spun away from us. “Seems to me, you should be having this conversation with Grant.”
“That went well,” I murmured, watching her storm off.
“She has a point,” Haley said.
“I know,” I sighed. “I’ll speak to Grant and try to find out what’s going on with him.”
Haley beamed a smile and twinkled her fingers at me as she turned up the road. “I’ll see you at the Grill.”
Great.
I just had one more friend to alienate before then.
@hawk
Torment: Dark Paranormal Romance (Eclipse Warlocks Book 1) Page 8