Not like I did belong. This was Tulip, my hometown. This place and these people nursed me back to help as much as I let them back when my whole world fell apart. But dressed like this, like some phony version of myself, I felt like a fraud. A fake. “In case I forgot to say it, you look stunning tonight Bo.”
My lips spread into a grin of their own free will, because it was at least the sixteenth time he said it since he picked me up. “Thanks, Jase. You look pretty edible yourself.”
“Edible? You can’t say that in a room full of people.”
“We’re not in a room full of people. Yet. We’re still in this limo. In Tulip.” He still hadn’t explained it and honestly I felt like this was some kind of charity prom recreation.
“I didn’t order it. Janey and the mayor insisted. It was donated by Tulip Luxury Used Vehicles, part of their civic duty to support the town or some such nonsense.” He shrugged like it was no big deal and I knew it was for my benefit, which only made things that much more complicated.
The truth was, I was falling for my best friend. For real. And it was only the second of our three date agreement. Tonight only highlighted that fact and the utter hopelessness of it. This was what Jase wanted, this kind of spotlight with a beautiful woman on his arm and that wasn’t me. Still, I was determined to enjoy our time together. “I accept that answer.”
“You can tell me if you’re nervous about tonight, you know?” His face was sincere, genuine and I could’ve kissed him right there for being so supportive.
“Who said I was nervous?”
“You rarely go to these things.”
“Because I find them boring and I don’t much like dressing up.” What was wrong with hanging out with your friends around a grill, in a backyard with beer and barbecue? Fancy clothes and dry chicken was not my idea of a good time.
“It’s a shame because you dress up so damn well.” Jase leaned in and pressed his lips to the pulse point at the side of my neck, letting his lips scrape against the skin until I shivered. “I prefer you in nothing at all.”
That’s how I preferred him too and it wasn’t just his beautifully sculpted muscles, it was the intensity that radiated off him and that raw heat that had a way of singeing my skin. “Ditto. Too bad we can’t just skip this and go for a naked midnight swim.”
“Tease,” he growled and let his hand slide up my thigh until his fingertips brushed my sensitive folds. “Later.”
That word echoed in my mind throughout the Solstice Dance. Somehow Jase had a knack for making that promising word sound like a threat. It almost made me believe there would be a later for us. Almost. But as we entered the community center, decorated in the theme of the summer solstice, hope slowly began to fade.
“You two are absolutely adorable,” Betty said the moment she spotted us in front of the starry backdrop set aside for photos. “Such a beautiful couple.”
It was nice to hear but I wished we were a couple, each time someone felt compelled to share their opinion on our fake relationship it was another lash of the knife across my heart. “Oh, we’re not-,”
Jase squeezed me against his side and kissed my neck. “We’re not into bragging,” he winked at Betty, “but I agree. We are adorable.”
Satisfied, Betty walked away to harass someone else, I assumed. “That wasn’t so bad.”
He frowned. “We are a couple, Bo.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know we are, but not really.”
He frowned but Elizabeth Vargas strolled up to us wearing a satisfied smile. “How is Tulip’s newest love match this evening? Bo you are positively glowing! A woman in love never looks more beautiful,” she said so breezily I almost missed it.
I opened my mouth to tell her just how wrong she was but Jase’s lips were on my shoulder, brushing a gently moist kiss that sent a shiver through my spine. “I couldn’t agree more, Elizabeth.” Jase complimented her and she left with a smile.
“Another satisfied customer,” I said with more snark than was necessary.
Jase’s green eyes glared at me and he grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me close. “We hang out together. We sleep together. What do you mean, not really?”
“Seriously?” Arms now folded over my chest, I couldn’t believe he was about to pick a fight with me here. Tonight. After I spent a full hour to look like a damn clown. “Okay. Fine. You never thought to ask me out, on a fake or real date, until you needed to keep the matchmakers off your scent. What about that is real or genuine, Jase?”
He took a step back like I slapped him. “You think I’m sleeping with you as part of our fake relationship?”
“No, but sex isn’t the same as dating, is it?” Just because my feelings had changed, or maybe because I was finally willing to admit them, didn’t mean I was delusional about what this thing between us was.
“You’re unbelievable, you know that Bo?” There it was, that annoyed tone of someone with one foot out the door. Mama had that tone for weeks before she finally left and Daddy, well that was his tone for all the years after mama left until the bottle claimed him. I knew it well.
“Sure.” This wasn’t the time or place to argue and there was nothing to fight for anyway, was there? “Whatever you say.” I stood to leave but Hope and Mikki made their way over, giving us some much needed space, that was unfortunately, short lived.
“It’s time for you to kick off the dance. Officially,” Janey said as she dragged Jase and I to the center of the dance floor.
“Just a minute,” Jase insisted, his gaze serious as it searched mine.
“Don’t hold things up on my account,” I told him and put my hand in his while Janey did her introduction.
“Thank you all for coming to Tulip’s annual Summer Solstice Dance,” she began with a cheerfulness that was as much a part of her as the camera.
“We need to talk,” he whispered as Janey thanked those who’d donated goods and services for the dance.
“No, we don’t.”
“So let’s officially kick this party off with our Hometown Hero for June, Jase Callahan!”
I flashed a smile and held a hand out dramatically, playing the role he’d asked me to.
Jase grinned back and took my hand in his, spinning me until we were chest to chest, drawing a smattering of applause from the town. “However this thing began between us Bo, it’s real now.” He didn’t miss a step as he twirled me around the dance floor while some deep throated country goddess sang about waking up beside her true love.
I shook my head. “This isn’t the time.”
“Oh, it’s the perfect time,” he said and dipped me low, brushing his lips down the length of my throat to another round of applause. “Because I have your undivided attention.”
He did, dammit. Looking gorgeous in his black suit with the dark green accents, I couldn’t look anywhere but at him. “Go ahead, then.”
“You’re mine, Bo.”
“I’m not,” I insisted. “We’re friends.”
“We will always be friends, but now that I’ve had a taste of you, now that I know what you feel like when you’re seconds away from an orgasm, how can I go back to that?”
“That was enough for you for years.”
“That was then,” he insisted and pulled me close, tightening his grip on my waist and my hand. “Now, I want more, Bo. I want it all.”
I shook my head, unable to hear these words because they were temporary. Fleeting.
“I know the thought of being mine scares the hell out of you because it scares the hell out of me too. I don’t know why it scares you, but I know that it does. And I’m okay with that.”
“You are?” That wasn’t what I meant to ask, dammit. “You say that now, but things change.”
“I’m okay with that because I’ll show you, every damn day and then you’ll see. You’ll know it too.”
I wanted that more than my next breath but I learned to stop even wishing for the moon and the stars. Instead I shook my head, ignoring the w
ay my heart thundered and he lowered his face to mine, brush his lips against mine, slowly at first, but then he kissed me like we were alone. Like I was his. Like he didn’t care if the whole damn town saw him claim me.
As is.
When his lips touched mine and I got lost in that endless kiss, I didn’t care either.
Jase
“I can’t believe you kissed me like that in front of the entire town!” I didn’t have to look at Bo to hear the smile in her voice, but I did. I watched the wide, immensely satisfied smile spread across her face, the way her chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath.
“Do you need me to apologize again?” I couldn’t sincerely apologize for that kiss even though I could admit it was poor timing. At least I could admit it to myself. I propped myself up on an elbow and smiled down at her, leaning close to swipe a tongue across that still stiff pink tip. “Because I will.”
She purred. My Bo actually purred as she arched into me. “As amazing as that was, and it really, really was, I need some fuel before we go again.” Big blue eyes popped open, dark and smiling. “It was a good apology.”
“Good? I feel insulted.”
“You would,” she snorted and pushed at my shoulders. “Next time I promise to scream louder.” She slid off the bed and reached for a t-shirt, mumbling about giant egos and she padded towards the kitchen.
As enticing as that view was, I couldn’t let myself get distracted. Again. Bo was a formidable opponent, especially when it came to avoidance. She was an expert, using sex or food to get her way. Sometimes both. At the same time.
But I’d had time to think about my conversation with Nate and as much as it made my gut churn, he was right. We needed to talk so I grabbed my boxers and found her heating up leftovers. “Was it really so bad that I kissed you in front of the whole town?”
“It wasn’t bad, no. It just wasn’t a good idea, Jase.”
“It seemed like a damn good idea to me. What’s the problem?”
She sighed and turned to me, eyes pleading with me to understand. “The problem Jase, is that I’m sick of being talked about. Gossiped about.” She shook her head again and I was reminded of all she’d been through and the walls she kept up to protect herself.
“It’s just harmless gossip, not like before.”
“It’s harmless now, but when this ends, it’ll turn right back to the vicious gossip I grew up dealing with.”
“Who said it would end?” Had I read this all wrong? Was this just a fling for her? I shook off that thought immediately, knowing down to my bones that Bo wouldn’t risk our friendship not even for spectacular sex.
She snorted. “Don’t try to bullshit me, Jase. We both know you’re never gonna end up with a girl like me. You need someone who is the life of the party like you are, who wants to go out and be seen and host barbecues all summer long. That’s not me.” She turned her back to me under the guise of stirring whatever was smelling damn good in that pot.
“That’s an excuse and you know it, Bo. We’re good together. Some might say we’re perfect.” Me. I would say we were perfect together because we were.
“Perfect doesn’t exist and now things are perfect, but how long will that last? When you get bored or sick of staying home? You’ll leave, that’s what.”
I wanted to argue with her because she was doing exactly what Nate said, she was running scared. But I was too struck by the obvious. “You think I’ll leave you.”
“Not just you. Everyone does. Eventually.” She turned off the stove and brought the pot of pasta to the table, slamming it down a bit harder than she needed to. “Look, Jase, I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that this was something else.” She stopped and sucked in a deep breath and I knew what she was trying to do. Push me away.
“Don’t even fucking think of finishing that sentence, Bo.” She could lie to herself about what she was feeling but I wouldn’t let her lie to me. “I’m not going anywhere. Where would I go?”
She shrugged. “Somewhere else. To start a new life.” She stomped back to the cabinets, returning with bowls and spoons, napkins and then she went back for more stuff. All in an effort to avoid this conversation.
“My life is here. My family and my job is here. You’re here.” She snorted and I knew what she was thinking. “I’m not them, Bo.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“No, actually. I don’t. I’m here and I’ve been here, but there’s nothing I can say or do that would penetrate that thick skull of yours.”
“So why bother.” It wasn’t even a question because stubborn, terrified Bo was so sure she knew everyone else’s motivations when the truth was she barely knew her own heart or mind.
But it amused me to watch her stew angrily while she stabbed at her chili, barely tasting it or the mountain of cheddar and jalapeno peppers she dumped on top of it. Bo was terrible at processing her emotions and unfortunately for her, we firefighters talked about everything until it was talked to death. It was a good way to pass the time, especially when the problems weren’t yours. “How long are you planning to be mad?”
“I’m not mad. I just don’t understand where all this is coming from.” She was being honest about that. Bo had no idea that I was in love with her because it had never crossed her mind that I might me. That I could be.
And that pissed me off for her. Every woman, but especially a kind and giving woman like Bo. Even though she griped about it and pretended to hate it, she went out of her way to help people. She’d even made Mikki feel welcome and struck up a friendship with her, Mikki who she couldn’t be more different from. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“No, Jase I don’t. And I don’t really want to play a guessing game about…this.” More chili stabbing went on and I tried a different approach.
“You and Mikki are friends but you’re night and day.”
“Because she’s so stylish and pretty and I’m just me?”
“No. Because she probably couldn’t last one night camping in your backyard and you wanted to kick off your shoes ten minutes after we arrived at the dance.”
“Those things are torture devices,” she said, all indignant. Sexy and indignant.
“Those things made your legs look a mile long and the way they poked your ass out?” I closed my eyes and moaned, conjuring up the image in my mind. “Divine.”
“You’re delusional.”
“I think that particular distinction belongs to you, Bo. All the guys think I’m damn lucky to have you. They all thing you’re gorgeous and you have a bangin’ body.”
“Thanks,” she snorted but her cheeks pinkened with delight.
“I’m serious. You have no idea how appealing you are.”
“That’s the sex talking.”
“You want it to be the sex talking, but it’s not. It’s me, Jase. The guy you’ve known since before you got boobs. Since before your mama left and BoJack died.”
“The one who made me practice kissing on him so he could ask Lisa Sullivan to homecoming?”
“The one who had to take a cold shower after that practice session.” I couldn’t ask Lisa out when all I wanted was to kiss Bo again.
“Be serious, Jase.”
“I am. Open your pretty blue eyes, Bo. I want this. I want us.”
“Yeah?” She pushed her bowl away and sat back, crossing her arms in a clear back the hell off gesture. “And what about what I want?”
“You want this too, I know you do. I’m scared too but the idea of walking away from this before we see what it could be scares me more.” She wasn’t convinced, but she would be.
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because I know you, Bo. Better than anyone.” There was one thing Bo was right about, talking wasn’t getting us anywhere. I needed to strip her bare and then make her see the truth. “You just need to see things from my perspective.” I stood and rounded the table as her eyes went wide.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” I pressed a kiss to her collarbone, smiling when she shivered. “That we’re done talking.” I scooped her out of the chair and tossed her over my shoulder, a move I knew would get her good and mad while I carried her up the stairs.
“Don’t you manhandle me, you ape.” She smacked my ass over and over, but I wasn’t bothered. “Oof!” She fell to the bed with an exaggerated grunt and glared up at me. “Jase.”
“That’s my name and it’s the only word I want to hear for the next hour.” She laughed but I saw the heat flare in her eyes when I knelt on the bed and tugged on her ankle. “Got it?”
“Don’t-,”
I yanked her other ankle until those long tan legs dangled over the edge of the bed and I gripped her thighs, slowly massaging my way up. “Got it?”
She moaned, but dammit she also nodded.
It was good enough. For now.
Bo was quiet and compliant as I peeled the t-shirt off her body and kissed every inch of her skin until she shivered and moaned beneath me. “Jase.” My name fell from her lips on a breathless whisper, over and over again, as I brought her to the peak of pleasure with my mouth, my fingers and then I gave her everything. All of me. “Jase, yes.”
I knew she felt it too. I could see it in the way she arched into me, the way her skin flushed when our gazes collided in the heat of passion. I felt it in the way her hands reached out to me, the way she couldn’t stand for our bodies to be separated by even an inch, the way she insisted on pleasing me until I went cross-eyed, never breaking eye contact. The way pleasing me seemed to get her off so much.
All the signs were there.
Bo loved me too, she was just too chicken shit to admit it.
To herself.
To me.
So I did the only thing I could do, I showed her with my body everything we were and everything we could be together. If she would just let us. And when she curled up in my arms and drifted off to sleep with one hand resting right over my heart, I knew I wouldn’t give up on her. Or us.
Ever.
Kissing My Best Friend: A Friends to Lovers Romance Page 11