by J. H. Croix
Somehow, we untangled ourselves and actually put on clothes. Madison offered me a beer while she had a glass of wine. We watched television. I held her against my side, my arm resting over her shoulders. She snuggled right in as if she belonged there.
Wilbur decided the other side of me was perfect for him, and I discovered he didn’t like me to ignore him for too long. Madison laughed, offering, “He’s ridiculously spoiled. Sorry. All you have to do is rest your hand on him every now and then, and then he doesn’t get fussy.”
I chuckled, and it was all so easy and felt so good. Later, I had her again. This time, we were tangled in her sheets with her legs curled around my hips. Afterward, I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.
She didn’t kick me out the next day, and I showed her a hiking trail nearby. It was an offshoot along the path that connected Harold’s property to mine. He’d used it for hunting. It led through the trees to an open field in a valley with a glittering glacial river in the distance.
I spent the next night with Madison. Every minute of the weekend felt like stolen time, and I supposed it was. Allie had plenty of friends and loved slumber parties, but two nights in a row was not as common. This was the very first time I’d had two nights with any woman since Allie had been born. I didn’t count the month with her mother because we hadn’t once slept together.
As I drove into work after that second night, I shook my head, recalling the month after Allie came into the world. Jesus. It was weird to think about now. My parents had converted the space above their garage into an apartment for us. Maybe if we hadn’t had a newborn, it would have been fun. I loved having a newborn baby, but it was nerve-racking and scary. Even though I didn’t know she was about to walk away, I knew Allie’s mom didn’t like it. That month was a blur in my memory.
I took a breath, slowing as I turned into the parking lot at Willow Brook Fire & Rescue. My crew was filled now. I had twenty-five people to manage. We’d done a few training exercises together, but this was our first week on call.
Rex had told me he had some dead trees for us to burn in an area on his property that had been hit hard with beetle kill. It was an ideal way to practice and close to town. As I strolled down the hallway at the station, I paused when I heard my name. Taking a few steps back, I peered through the door into a shared office. “What’s up?” I asked.
Cade grinned, gesturing me in. “Close the door for a sec, if you would.”
Stepping through, I closed it behind me. “Now you’ve got me worried,” I added as I sat down across from him.
“Just thought I’d give you a heads-up that Russell and Paisley had a small spat, I guess.”
“Spat?”
He shrugged. “Yep. I don’t know what Russell said, I don’t even know if he said anything, but she told him to stop being a sexist asshole. He told her that she’d have to prove to him she could handle the work.”
I rolled my eyes, letting out a groan. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve known Russell for years. I’ve never seen him be a jerk about women.”
“Me neither,” Cade agreed.
We’d all grown up in Willow Brook together. “Want my two cents?” he asked.
“What do you think?”
“I think he’s got a thing for her, and that’s the problem.”
“Fuck. I can’t deal with an office romance. Is that what we should call it?”
Cade chuckled and shrugged. “They’re sure not a couple now. They wouldn’t be the only couple, though. Susannah and Ward used to be on a crew together.”
“I know, but they’re married, and they have a baby,” I replied.
“It wasn’t that way at first. Maybe have a word with each of them. That’s what I’d suggest.”
I nodded. “Thanks for giving me the heads-up. I’m going to talk to him now. Anything else I need to know?”
Cade shook his head. “Not a thing. Dad is stoked you guys are doing that training burn on his property, though.”
I grinned. “It’s convenient.”
He dipped his chin in agreement. “You guys are on the call rotation starting this week.”
Tapping my knuckles on the armrest, I stood. “We are. Thanks again.” On my way to find Russell, I swung through the kitchen to get some coffee. Once I had that in hand, I searched out Russell in the weight room and gestured to him. “I need a minute.”
He set the weights down, and I could tell from the look on his face that he probably knew why I wanted to talk to him. I took him to one of the shared offices. The very Ward that Cade and I were just talking about, who was married to Susannah was just leaving. “Mind if I use it for a few minutes?” I asked.
“It’s all yours. I’m headed over to grab some breakfast. Need anything from Firehouse?”
“Can you grab me a bagel and cream cheese?”
With a thumbs-up, he was gone, and a moment later, Russell appeared. I closed the door behind him, and we sat down at the round table.
“Let me guess, somebody told you I had an argument with Paisley.”
I nodded.
Russell leaned back in his chair, wincing slightly. “I’m sorry. She gets under my skin. I know women are good firefighters, I swear.”
“I know you do. I’m not sure what your deal is, but you need to clear the air with her. Is there anything I should know?”
He shook his head quickly. “I’ll talk to her.”
“I’m going to talk to her first, and then I’ll let you two have the office. How’s that sound?”
Russell let out a quiet sigh and nodded. After he left, I scouted out Paisley in the break room. As soon as I asked her to come meet with me, she rested a hand on her hip. “Is this about Russell?”
“Let’s talk in the office.”
I liked Paisley, and I liked Russell. They were both great at their jobs and great with everyone else on the team. Cade’s observation might be on point.
A moment later, Paisley sat across from me, her shoulders tense and her jaw set. She didn’t even give me a chance to start slow. “I don’t know what the deal is, but Russell has an issue with me. I snapped at him, I admit it, but…” She shook her head slowly, releasing a puff of air that expertly got a loose lock of her auburn hair out of her eyes. “I’d think he had an issue with women as firefighters, but he doesn’t behave that way around anyone other than me.”
“Is there something I should know?” Maybe she’d be more open with me than Russell.
She shook her head before I could even finish asking. “Absolutely not.”
“I hope this doesn’t affect your work together.”
“It definitely won’t. I promise,” Paisley assured me.
Maybe they hadn’t acted on it, but I’d bet chemistry was sparking between them. I imagined myself attempting to work with Madison as a firefighter. The mere thought of it had me wanting to run. I’d be too worried about her. It simply wouldn’t work. I knew it wasn’t because she was a woman. I’d been on the town crew with Susannah for over two years. I trusted her completely, and she was an absolute badass in the field. I also knew Ward was prone to worrying about her, which was precisely why they weren’t on the same crew together.
I left Paisley in my office and went to chase down Russell again. It only took thirty seconds in the small office with them together to realize they both had it bad. Paisley’s cheeks flushed pink, and Russell cleared his throat uncomfortably.
I looked back and forth between them. “We’re officially on call, so sort this out. All I expect is for you to be able to work well together. The rest, I don’t care about.”
With a nod, I closed the door behind me and left them in there alone. I trusted they could work it out. Russell was as solid as they came. I trusted Paisley, even if I hadn’t known her as long as him.
Only one day after that, my crew got called out to a fire. Allie went to stay with my parents, and off we went. I experienced an unfamiliar moment as I was walking out to the helicopter that would take us to the b
ackcountry. I wanted to text Madison and let her know I’d be gone, but it didn’t feel quite right. The weekend we’d spent together had been enough to set the sheets on fire, but we weren’t a couple. I was still trying to convince myself it was nothing more than some serious chemistry. But the urge to let her know I’d be gone for five days spoke volumes.
She’s just your neighbor.
That’s not all she is to you.
Fuck. I kicked that thought to the curb. If she needed something, she might wonder where I was. Ah, I rationalized a reason to tell her. I slipped my phone out and zapped off a text.
Me: Allie will be at my parents’ for five days. I’m headed out to a fire in the backcountry. If you need anything, Janet’s your best bet.
I was sitting down in the back of the helicopter when I could feel my phone vibrate. Slipping it out, I glanced down to see her reply.
Madison: Be safe.
My heart thumped in reply.
“What are you smiling at?” Chase asked.
Whipping my head up, I shrugged. “Nothing.”
Bullshit.
Any chance for conversation was drowned out as the helicopter started, the thwack, thwack, thwack of its blades filling the air.
I leaned my head back, picturing Madison—her dark hair tangled on the pillows.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Madison
It was day three of Graham being gone, and I wanted an update. I loved updates. But I didn’t think hotshot firefighting in the middle of the wilderness was the kind of job where updates were provided on the regular.
There was no reception where they were. I had tried, oh-so-casually, to gather information during my now daily stops at Firehouse Café. I was working, and I loved my job so far. Gratefully, that kept me busy, and it meant I didn’t have to panic about money anymore, so I wasn’t forced to ration my social trips to town.
My reconnaissance at the coffee shop had given me little nuggets of information. Graham was the superintendent of his crew, and they were fighting a fire that was a good hour away as the crow flew. Maisie knew everything because she was the main dispatcher. She was becoming what I thought might be a friend and had even mentioned we should get together one evening with some of her other friends. I was looking forward to it because Graham would be gone.
I felt silly over my small thrill at making friends. However, I was beyond grateful that I didn’t have to wonder if they wanted to know me because of my family’s connections. Those were tarnished, but it was nice not to wonder. Small favors and all that. I’d had another meeting with the attorney about my deposition, which was coming up next week. Fun stuff.
I was finishing up for work when my phone rang. I didn’t get a ton of calls. When I looked down, I was surprised to see Allie’s number flashing across the screen. Curiosity, of course, got the best of me, and I answered quickly.
“Hey, Allie, what’s up?”
“I need some help, and you’re probably going to think it’s a bad idea.” She sounded stressed.
“Tell me what’s going on.” Worry tightened in my chest. “Aren’t you staying with your grandparents?”
“Yes, but I’m at school right now.”
“Okaaaa-y,” I said slowly, unease slithering down my spine. “Tell me what happened.”
“I got caught smoking on school grounds,” she said, her words coming out in a rush.
“And you’re calling me about this?” My heart pinched with worry and empathy. Being a teenager wasn’t much fun, and I still marveled that anyone pretended it was. Opportunities to make stupid and careless decisions abounded around every corner.
“I need someone to pick me up.”
“Allie, I can’t do that.” I might’ve felt for her, but that answer was clear.
Allie burst into tears. “Please.”
“Allie, I can’t. I’m sure you only have a few people on your permission list, and I’m not one of those people.”
“Actually, you are, because you picked me up that time.”
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Allie, I still can’t do that, and I have to tell your father what happened.”
Allie sniffled. “I don’t want him to know.”
“Look, I know it’s not good to get caught smoking at school, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure your dad will be reasonable about it when he gets back. Just tell your grandparents what happened, and you’ll figure it out from there.”
“Promise you won’t tell my dad.”
“Allie, I can’t make that promise. What I will promise you is when he’s back from wherever he is, I’ll let him know we had this phone call.”
Allie went quiet for a moment before she sniffled. “Fine. Thanks for nothing.” Then she hung up.
I stared at the phone, uncertain what to do. I knew I couldn’t pick her up. I wanted to call her grandparents, but I didn’t know them very well, and I didn’t have their phone number.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was not good. I really wished Graham were home. I couldn’t keep this secret from him. With nothing to do to fix this, I started pacing back and forth in front of the windows. Wilbur sensed my upset and paced along with me. I reached down to stroke across his back just as my phone rang again. I raced over to my desk. This time, not recognizing the number, I answered with trepidation. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Madison Glen?”
“Uh, yes.”
“Hi, this is Ms. Smith, the vice principal at Willow Brook High School. Allie’s grandparents aren’t available to pick her up because they’re in Anchorage for the next few hours. You’re the only other person on the pickup list. Would it be possible for you to pick Allie up?”
I groaned silently. “Of course I can pick her up. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
I hung up, my unease multiplying inside. The second Allie climbed into my car, she set out to beg me not to tell her father why I had to pick her up early. While I had never been a mother, it only took me mere minutes to acquire an enormous amount of empathy for every parent of every teenager in the entire universe.
Wow, she was a master at putting the pressure on. I held firm and told her I wasn’t going to lie on her behalf. When I pulled up in front of her grandparents’ house, Allie’s eyes beseeched me. “Please,” she repeated for what must’ve been the hundredth time on the short drive.
I took a deep breath. “Allie, my answer is not going to change. I’m really sorry. I’m not comfortable keeping that secret.”
She climbed out of the car, her shoulders hunched and her feet scuffing the ground as she walked up the stone walkway in front of the house. I left, feeling sad for her and nervous.
I decided to call Janet. She’d given me her phone number, and I figured I would at least tell her. Maybe she would know how to reach Allie’s grandparents. Janet answered on the second ring. “Hi, Madison.”
“How did you know it was me?” I was astonished.
“I have your number in my contacts. I had it before you even moved here. Your grandfather’s attorney gave it to me.”
“Oh, wow. That makes sense. I need your opinion.” I quickly filled her in.
Janet replied matter-of-factly, “Of course you can’t keep that a secret, not that you’re asking. I’ll call her grandparents and let them know the school called you to give her a ride. It’s that simple. I would let the rest of it go because it’s not really your problem.”
The tension in my shoulders eased as I let out a breath. “You’re absolutely right. Thank you. You gave me permission to let it go, and I appreciate you calling them.”
Janet chuckled, shifting gears so smoothly she caught me off guard. “How are things with you and Graham?”
“Um, what do you mean?”
I hadn’t told a soul about what passed between Graham and me. There was no way Janet knew about our weekend together, or the other kiss, or that first kiss before I even knew I was going to be his neighbor.
“He’s your closest neighbor.
Plus, I think he likes you.”
I almost choked. “What?” I squeaked.
Janet chuckled again. This time, I could hear the sly tinge in the sound. “I may be old, but I’m observant. That man could use a good woman in his life.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, trying to sound all cool and collected when the feel of his hands mapping my body flashed through my thoughts. I was profoundly relieved she couldn’t see how red my face was, considering it felt like it was on fire.
“I’ve got to run, new customers coming in.” She hung up quickly as I said goodbye.
Allie getting caught smoking at high school really wasn’t the end of the world. Not that I’d ever smoked in high school. I was ridiculously well-behaved. I still remembered the lecture I got from my then-boyfriend because I didn’t have sex with him. I’d been homecoming queen and valedictorian of my class, and I’d never once felt I was cool, not for a second. Talk about appearances being deceiving.
After college, the outside of my life looked postcard-perfect—holiday cards to friends and family, and the like. And now, it felt like those pictures had been torn up, someone laughing as they tossed them in the air, the confetti singed by the fire of my father’s betrayal. “Whatever,” I muttered to myself.
The week passed, and I stayed busy with work, and there were no more calls from Allie. I did wonder how she was doing. I resisted the urge to text her and check in because I didn’t feel like that was my role. I also wondered when I would see Graham again, and I wished I knew when he’d be back. I’d stopped with my casual questions at Firehouse Café because I’d give myself away if I got too nosy. I might not be an expert at small-town life, but I knew how gossip worked. It burned like a brush fire on the winds created by rumors. The smaller the community, the faster it burned with every little rumor setting new fires.
Everything was fine, even if I missed Graham more than was sensible. Well, everything was fine until that Saturday.