by Dante Graves
Chapter 19: The Star, the Moon & Justice
“I’ve never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by.”
Hank Williams, “I’m So Lonely I Could Cry”
After Greg left, Martha’s days and nights were full of loneliness. At first she found things to do, little things she had put off. But when everything was done and redone, Martha was alone in her trailer. The circus was still moving from town to town, but not performing. Tents lay folded, poles remained dismantled and packed. If a curious teenager or a tramp wandered into the camp, Pietro politely explained to them that the circus was closed, and no one could steal a glance at the monsters for free. Martha had always enjoyed participating in the advance team, traveling to towns where she could see how people there lived. She would discuss the towns and the people with Greg, but with no performances, there was no need for posters or persuasion, and Martha, as well as the other mongrels, did not go beyond the circus lot.
Greg and Lazarus had not come back, and there was no one to talk to. Pietro was in charge while Mr. Bernardius was away, but the archivist was always busy with something, and doing two jobs was difficult for him. The invariably good-natured Pietro was still smiling, but his smile had grown tired.
Blanche and Black became even gloomier than usual. The ogres slept during the day, and at night they patrolled the camp with oil lamps, which in their huge hands seemed no bigger than fireflies. Martha knew they were not just scaring away onlookers and vagrants, but were expecting the Judge to spring a surprise. But Caius seemed only to tease them. Sometimes he did not reveal himself, and sometimes he stopped his van about a hundred meters from the camp, leaving it clearly visible. Most inhabitants of the circus were indifferent to the Judge’s tricks, but Pietro and the ogres were exhausted and irritated. In one of his rare conversations with Martha, the archivist even admitted that he feared that if Caius continued to unnerve the brothers, they would fly off the handle and give the Judge an excuse to deliver a verdict. Martha began spending more time in the company of the two ogres to calm them down.
Days became anxious and, because of that, even longer. Martha thought about Greg. She worried about Lazarus and pondered what had prompted Zinno’s betrayal. She remembered how the dwarf had always looked for opportunities to talk to her, coming around when Greg was not there. It always seemed that he was looking to find a friend in her, a person who would not laugh at his ugliness, and she was always affable and genuinely nice to him. But what if he had seen more than a friend in Martha, and so had betrayed Greg? The thought saddened Martha, but she did not feel hatred toward Zinno, only sympathy. She knew that if Zinnober repented and came back, she would forgive him. She knew that the real power was not in Lazarus’s immortality and not in Greg’s fire. The real power was in forgiveness. If you can forgive, then you are stronger than those who hurt you. Recalling Zinno, Martha did not know that the dwarf was much closer than she could have imagined.
Like the Judge, Zaches relentlessly followed the circus. Astaroth sent him to watch and wait for the return of Lazarus and not to reveal his presence. But even without his master’s order, Zaches would not meddle in the circus. The Pactum forbids demionis causing any harm to humans but does not regulate their relationships with each other. Nothing would prevent Blanche or Black from unscrewing the dwarf’s head if they wanted to. Especially now, since Lazarus was not around.
It was difficult to follow the circus without revealing himself, especially if Pietro chose some vacant lot for the encampment without a single tree or hillock. Sometimes Zaches found boys who wanted to have a look at a traveling circus. He would tell them where it was and ask them to tell him everything they saw there. He told them to look carefully to make sure there was no tall old man with a long gray beard and top hat. The most high-spirited boys managed to see some of the monsters, which they excitedly told Zaches about, but most were chased off by two giants in bowler hats, one gray giant, and one green. Sometimes boys told him about seeing a strange car with a creepy man in it near the circus, and that bothered Zaches. The Judge was pushy and unpredictable, and this scared Zinno so much that he sometimes arranged an observation point much farther from the camp than usual. He had no doubt that the Judge felt his presence, but for some reason Caius showed no interest in him.
The Judge didn’t care about Zaches because he was pursuing a much larger prey. Lazarus and the fire magician had disappeared, and no matter how hard Caius tried to use his sense, he couldn’t find them. They were obviously too far away. But Lazarus would come back, the Judge had no doubt. The circus did not perform without its ringmaster, which meant the mongrels were waiting for their leader. The Judge was sure the ringmaster would come back without the mage. And he had no doubt that he would force Lazarus to confess that he had hidden Greg. The Judge did not book hotel rooms; he lived, slept, and ate in his van, spending most of his time watching. Caius liked to get in the hair of the circus inhabitants. What could be better than a persecuted victim whose mind had become clouded from stress? Once it seemed as if the two ogres were ready to break, but at the next night shift they were calm and quiet. Caius was sure the gymnast girl had a hand in this. He did not understand her secret. He checked the books he had in the van and recalled his years of training, but soon resigned himself to the fact that he did not know what kind of mongrel she was. However, the Judge sensed her in a special way, as if she wasn’t like others. Usually he felt a mongrel the same way a bloodhound smells a trail, with his senses, instincts, and intuition. But he felt the girl with … his soul? Such thoughts made him weak, and he drove them away. Sometimes he took a knife in his hands and repented before God for the thought that his soul could belong to some mongrel. Thus, Caius passed his days in surveillance, doubt, and repentance, until Lazarus Bernardius returned to the circus.
To the Judge’s surprise, the old man did not come back alone. He brought a beauty in black, and with one glance at her, Caius remembered that he was not only a servant of God but also a man. To his even greater surprise and relief, the woman was not a mongrel. He tried to listen to his feelings, but they were silent. The Judge had understood that humans were not allowed in the circus except for the fat archivist, and so he was intrigued by the appearance of the stranger. Almost all the inhabitants of the “Lazarus Bernardius’ Circus” were intrigued. Only Pietro turned his nose up at Ino. Like all archivists, he believed witches were uneducated autodidacts, disrespecting equally the ancient divine and diabolical rituals, which they knew only by hearsay. Martha assailed Ino with questions. Where is Greg? How is he? Why didn’t he come back? When would he return? Would she be able to see him? Did he say hello?
Stunned, Ino asked Lazarus to answer all the questions and was going to leave, but Bernardius insisted that she stay, brushing aside Pietro’s timid attempts to express his discontent. Ino stayed, and she and Lazarus gave Martha all the details. The girl listened carefully and said, “Sounds good. For now.”
“For now?” Ino asked.
“A few days ago it seemed to me that I could no longer feel Greg. Now I know that you gave him a potion. I will feel him again when it ceases to act, or if … if something happens.”
“You can feel Greg? Only him or someone else too?” asked Ino.
“Only him. I didn’t know about it before, because he was always here, but when he left, I knew I could always find him. It’s as if he’s a burning match in a dark room.”
“I wonder if he can do the same,” said Lazarus.
“I’m not sure,” Ino said. “He, of course, is a powerful magician. But this girl, she is something special. I tell you, even I can perceive this, though there is no magic in me. Next to her I feel like I have wings.”
With the return of Mr. Bernardius, everyone’s days returned to normal, except Martha’s. The circus started giving performances again, although, to the dismay of the public, without magic tricks. Fortunately for Lazarus, Ino was in no hurry to leave. The witch was very interested in Martha a
nd spent most of her time with the girl. Martha still missed Greg, but now at least she had someone to talk to.
The Judge and Zaches still tailed the circus, watching and waiting. Caius once even went to a show but failed to meet Lazarus. Mr. Bernardius, to his great embarrassment, felt some relief that Greg was no longer in the circus. Ino was close, and the object of the Judge’s interest was away. The presence of Caius, sometimes invisible, sometimes obvious, occasionally clouded Lazarus’s mood, but over his long life the ringmaster had learned how to bear difficulties.
Everything was going well.
Until one night Martha woke up in pain. She felt she was twisted, stretched, pierced, and hammered. Drowned and suffocated. Shot and burned. Stomped and rubbed into powder. She could not identify the source of her pain. It hurt so much that for a moment it seemed as if she had passed the limit of sensibility and could no longer feel anything. It was almost as if she was watching someone else. But then the pain came back. Martha could not scream. Her muscles cramped in a single spasm, and only a faint rattle came out of her throat. She could not move. Her body was so paralyzed that she couldn’t even blink.
And then the pain started to recede, but was not extinguished. Her body relaxed, and Martha could examine herself. There was not a drop of blood, not a single scratch or abrasion. Her skin was still smooth and light, but covered with a cold sweat.
The pain surged again.
And then diminished.
Almost extinguished.
And again surged.
And even more.
And more.
And more.
And then began to fade.
And fade.
Fade …
Pain seized her in jerks, like blood spurting from a wound. Blood. Wound. Something had happened to Greg, Martha realized. Something really bad. She jumped out of bed, opened the door of the trailer, and ran to where the thread of pain led, becoming quiet with each passing minute. Quieter and quieter.
Martha fled, hoping the pain would stay with her until she got to Greg.