‘Wasn’t it inevitable, given you’re so much more experienced?’ She gazed across the game to meet his intense stare.
‘If you’re not used to playing games, why are you so willing to try?’ he asked.
‘Because there’s always hope, right? There’s always a chance there might be an exception.’
‘You want to risk everything on chance? On the possibility of being an exception?’ He shook his head and laughed. ‘Maybe you’re more of a risk-taker than most.’
He was wrong. Yet once again she was tempted to take all the risks with him. Once again she was a hot mess of confusion and conflict. Of desire and denial. And of silence.
He cocked his head and smiled slowly as he studied her with that relentless intensity. ‘I bet I know what the troubling thoughts are.’
‘Do not, I beg, reveal your appalling arrogance yet again.’
For him it was merely an entertaining escape, but for her it was pure, tantalising mystery.
He leaned back. ‘You can’t stop thinking about that kiss any more than I can.’
Was he really thinking about it? Or was that one of his many practised lines? Did it really matter? Because for her it was the truth. He was magnetic.
‘Why not a repeat?’ he asked.
‘There are so many reasons,’ she muttered. ‘But I think you just want what you can’t have,’ she said. ‘You want the woman who doesn’t want you.’
‘Is that what you think you are?’ He chuckled. ‘I’ve met many women who didn’t want me and I’ve never felt the need to persuade them otherwise. You’re only saying no because you can’t stand to say yes to me. You don’t like it when I win, because you think that means you lose,’ he muttered. ‘But I promise you won’t lose. And, if you like, you don’t have to say anything at all. You can choose to stand there, or you can move to that other room and have your own space. Your choice. But I know what I want.’
‘And you always get it?’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t believe anyone gets what they want all of the time.’
‘Then why not get what you want when you can,’ he suggested with a smile, ‘when it’s right here, waiting for you to simply admit it?’
He made it sound logical and easy and as if it meant nothing. Which, of course, it did for him.
‘You’re so annoying,’ she muttered feebly.
He stepped closer. ‘Why shouldn’t you get what you want, Merle? Why shouldn’t you get to have some fun?’
‘A one-time limited offer?’ She paused.
‘Games end, Merle.’
True. And no matter how he tried to spin it, there was always a winner and a loser. She knew she was nothing but another challenge to him. Once conquered, the challenge of her would be destroyed and his interest would wane. He was mercurial, a creature easily bored. Never truly satisfied.
But she could be satisfied. She could finally experience the one thing everyone else in the world seemed to go crazy for. And if the hint she’d had earlier was any indication? It would be so worth it. Couldn’t she be the winner? But a streak of insecurity undermined the warmth flowing through her. ‘Is this because I’m the only woman around for miles? Because we’re stuck here together and you need a release? Because you’re bored? Because—’
‘You’re magnificent and fascinating. Because you’ve snared my interest and I want to work out why. Because I desperately want to make you feel good enough to stop questioning everything and just enjoy our explosiveness.’
His fierce interruption silenced her. Was this explosive for him too, then? Was this something a little less ordinary for him? The prospect tempted that weak part of her.
‘There’s nothing wrong with sex,’ he breathed. ‘Did someone tell you there was?’
Merle froze. He’d veered so close to the truth there. She’d tried to mute her grandmother’s endless lectures about being ‘good’, about not bringing shame home. She’d linked shame so explicitly, so wrongly with sex. Her mother’s fears for her still echoed too. She’d never seen an example of women allowed to simply have fun, let alone anything loving.
‘So there has to be something wrong with me because I’m saying no to you?’ She turned defensive.
‘But you haven’t said no to me yet.’ He held up his hands. ‘Be honest.’
That was an altogether different dare from him.
‘I’ve told you the rules I play by,’ he said. ‘You know I don’t cheat. I don’t lie.’
‘And I do?’
‘To yourself, maybe. Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?’
Emotions were heightened. Desire was heightened. But so was doubt. She’d been burned before.
‘I’ll admit we have some chemistry. That doesn’t mean I’m going to say yes. I like pudding a lot, but I’m not going to over-indulge because it wouldn’t be good for me. There’s such a thing as balance.’
‘But you’re not indulging at all. There’s no balance there either.’ A smile curved his lips. ‘Why don’t you just sample a little? You can say “enough” any time you like.’ He gestured towards the oven. ‘You know there’s pudding on offer here tonight.’
She glanced at the oven and laughed. ‘I couldn’t possibly. I’ve had sufficient.’
‘Oh, Merle,’ he chastised softly. ‘Since when was sufficient ever enough?’
CHAPTER SIX
ARE WE GOING to talk about it?
Not only had Merle never had such kisses to discuss before, but she’d never had anyone to discuss them with either. She’d stayed in the shadows, silent almost all of her life. She’d been taught—by her mother, her grandmother, and her own small experience—that invisible equalled safe and that men meant trouble. But Ash hadn’t let her hide. And, while they’d danced with banter and tease, at the core was a challenge for honesty. For her to embrace her own desires. Now seductive possibilities fired her blood, pushing her pulse faster. He was leaving at the end of the week, their paths would never intersect again, no one would ever even know they’d met, no one would ever care—certainly not him. He was a hedonist who lived in the moment and who took advantage of all good opportunities when they arose—in business and in pleasure, right?
Maybe she could learn more than a few things from him.
She paced the length of her suite, unable to unwind. She’d run away after dinner—wary that her feelings were going to topple her into making a rash decision that couldn’t be reversed. But wouldn’t she be crazy not to claim such a chance? To experience something most other people enjoyed? It wasn’t as if she was at risk from him when she knew exactly what she’d be getting. And not getting. She’d not been saving her virginity. It was more that she’d not met any possible takers until now.
Hot and bothered, she ran a cold bath, hoping to relax and settle her runaway thoughts. But she couldn’t stop thinking about him. Ash offered brevity, but intensity. A night at his island hideaway. Wouldn’t it be a chance for her to freely explore and accumulate one great memory? She didn’t need to take everything so seriously, did she?
Because she couldn’t ignore this ache. This burning temptation that not even icy water could soothe.
When she finally got out of the bath she heard a splash coming from outside. She glanced out of the window and stilled. Ash was back in the pool, taking a swim at nearly midnight. Occasionally, the light that spilled from the house caught him—making the droplets of water on his body glint like diamonds. Beautiful, powerful, impossible to tame and so tempting. But even as her heart thundered and her blood raced, she stepped back and turned away, too schooled in self-denial.
In silence.
But the tension in her body didn’t lessen through the sleepless night. That temptation no longer whispered, it clamoured. She worked in the study all morning, thoughts circling incessantly until a low anger throbbed in time with the building pain in her temples. She was a
nnoyed not by the ideas he’d planted in her head, but by her own cowardice. Her own docility. She was sick of doing as she’d been told half her life. She was sick of staying quiet. She was sick of missing out on what she really wanted. And she was so tired of him swimming in that damned pool, flaunting his perfect body.
She stalked out of the study onto the patio. His magnetism was too strong for her to resist any longer. She wanted to have what she wanted—who she wanted. He looked up. The immediate expression in his eyes scorched away the last of her shyness so that certainty flooded her.
He hoisted himself out of the pool in one powerful action, picked up a towel from a lounger and wrapped it round his waist. ‘Going to roll the dice, Merle?’
He knew already. But now he waited. Yet, by just being near such a source of outrageous vitality, she finally felt emboldened and empowered enough to step from the shadows and speak up.
‘I’ve decided I want...’ She broke off, battling the furious blush she felt swamping her skin.
He stood more still than she did. ‘Want?’
She breathed out. This still wasn’t easy. ‘What you dared. You. Here. Now.’
Ash’s customary wicked smile didn’t light up his face. Instead, he continued to look alarmingly serious. ‘You said you never over-indulge and ran away the second I offered dessert.’
She had. She’d turned tail and fled, overwhelmed by the thoughts in her own damned mind. ‘You said I don’t indulge at all. You were right.’
His gaze locked on her more intently.
‘I want to finish what we started in the bunker.’ Merle’s wish slipped out. ‘In fact, I want more.’
He didn’t move. He didn’t answer. He just stared at her, expressionless.
Merle counted down the achingly slow seconds until doubt exploded in a ball of fire in her stomach. She’d just thrown herself at him and he wasn’t reacting at all how she’d anticipated.
‘Merle...’
The strained whisper was so unlike him. His tone holding nothing short of...regret?
Merle flinched, mortified. Hadn’t she seen the flicker of interest in his eyes just then? Hadn’t he spent all of dinner last night tempting and teasing her into saying yes? Cold horror struck as her doubts mushroomed. Had it all been a ploy to see if he could get her to yes? Had that been his real game? Had it been a prank—with him taking cruel pleasure in seducing her, only to say no?
Had history just repeated itself—only way, way worse? Why had she thought he’d be any different? He was the worst of them all. Taking a trip on an ego ride, pulling a woman he didn’t actually want. Well, he’d won, hadn’t he?
Only now she was humiliated. Now she had to get away. She hated her foolish naivety. She shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t have trusted him. Shouldn’t have thought she could ever have something easy and light in her life. Something just for herself. Shouldn’t have thought, even for a second, that someone like him would...
On a gulp of horror she turned to rush away. But he caught her from behind, stopping her headlong retreat, his arms like steel.
‘Merle.’
A harsh, raw growl.
His heat, his thundering heart, pressed against her back briefly. Then he turned her around in his arms so it was her chest pressed to his. She bowed her head and closed her eyes for good measure. Not resisting his hold, not wanting to look in his eyes and see smugness, or rejection. Or, worse, anything like an apology. She would survive his mortifying explanation and then slink to her suite to wallow.
Ash stared down at her, furious with himself as confusion threw him into unaccustomed silence. Having her come to him like this was everything he’d wanted. He should’ve been kissing her already—glorying in the gorgeous silk of her body and celebrating the electricity that arced every time he got within ten feet of her.
Yet the second she’d said it, something felt wrong. Damned if he knew what or why. There was just a knot in his gut that had tightened to the point where he’d been unable to move. Until she’d started to run. Then he’d gone purely on instinct.
Now he couldn’t let her go because her running away would be worse than anything. And, now he had his hands on her, he was unable to resist touching her more. But the tension in her body made him wary. His muscles felt prepped, ready to fight an internal war he didn’t fully understand the reason for.
‘You don’t do this, Merle,’ he said.
Was that it? Was that what was bothering him? Her innocence? He growled beneath his breath as that spectre from his past flickered in his mind. The shy, innocent girl he’d humiliated and the horrific repercussions that had followed for him. ‘I’m not going to be responsible for your broken heart.’
Merle stiffened and drew an audible breath. ‘Of all the arrogant things to say,’ she muttered. But she didn’t pull free of his arms and she easily, easily could have. ‘You’re not going to break my heart. That’s not what I want.’
‘What do you want, then?’ Ash glared at her as that strange fury within rose.
Her request had been so spartan, so dispassionate. She wanted him as if he were some kind of take-away option in a food court. It niggled. Even though it was exactly all he ever did.
‘Don’t panic,’ she snapped. ‘I’m not about to request your hand in marriage. I have that message loud and clear.’
He couldn’t even pull together a grin. ‘You—’
‘Don’t need rose petals or candles, or anything sappy like that.’
Her cynicism punctured his lungs. Her rejection of anything romantic made him feel worse. ‘Nothing sappy?’ He cupped her chin, making her look up so he could see into her eyes. ‘So what, shall we just make a time to meet in your bed? A half-hour appointment or something?’
A wall of red scaled her face—a swirl of embarrassment and hurt. Finally she tried to twist away from him. ‘Forget it—’
‘No,’ he said flatly. He refused to do that. Refused to release her. But the second she stilled he softened his hold, treating her like the wild bird she was—fragile and flighty, a creature who needed freedom to feel safe. He couldn’t resist caressing her gently, smoothing his hands down her back, tracing her beautiful shape. He wanted her in his bed—more than anything he’d wanted in a long time. But he didn’t want it quite like this. Not so clinical and cold. Not when she made him feel anything but cold. Anything but himself. Hell, she made him feel as if he had to do the honourable thing.
And what’s that? he mocked himself. To be protective? Chivalrous? Assume he knew better than she? What was he thinking? More importantly, what was she thinking?
‘Don’t you want more than this?’ he growled. More than a night that meant nothing and would go nowhere?
‘Are you asking that because I’m a virgin?’ Her eyes sparked with that dangerous edge.
The word winded him, even when he’d known.
‘Probably,’ he admitted, helpless to be anything but honest in the intensity of her gaze. ‘You don’t strike me as reckless and you’ve held on to your virginity for a long time.’
He’d have had her yesterday if they’d stayed in that bunker, which was why he’d unlocked it. That one kiss had been incendiary. When she was in the vicinity his reasoning escaped him completely, but Merle Jordan wasn’t a player on an equal footing to him. He had to remember that.
‘What makes you think this is reckless?’ she said. ‘Perhaps I’ve taken the time to think it through.’
‘It’s barely more than twenty-four hours since we met.’ He huffed out a tense breath.
‘I bet you’ve slept with women you’ve barely known half an hour.’
He couldn’t actually deny that. But she couldn’t say the same. She was a thinker. Measured. Cautious and deliberate. So what had changed? He needed to know her why. ‘Have you formulated a list of pros and cons?’ he asked.
‘Actually, y
es, I have.’
He almost laughed. ‘Tell me.’
Her shoulders tensed. She might be reliant on reticence, but she had courage when it counted. Even though he knew she was mortified, she summoned the strength to speak.
‘On the negatives, it might be a little...uncomfortable.’ She shot him an awkward look and her blush burned again. ‘But your experience will be a good thing. One of us will know how to...what to...’
‘Right,’ he muttered, saving her from further stammering. ‘Any other possible negatives?’
She bit on her lower lip. ‘I have the feeling I might like it a lot.’
He nearly choked. ‘That’s a negative?’
‘That kiss was...a revelation,’ she said. ‘Obviously. That’s why I’m here now.’
An inordinate amount of pride flooded him because he knew her descriptor was an understatement. He was always considerate with a lover but never had it mattered as much. Never had he really cared. He wanted her to experience the absolute best.
‘So the problem is I might want more than what you’re able to offer,’ she murmured.
More than what he was able to offer? In what way? He didn’t want to know.
He had to move on. ‘And the pros?’
‘I’ll finally get to experience what most other women my age have been enjoying for years.’
Desire held him in thrall, yet there was that irritation on the underside of his ribs. That resistance within him still. He didn’t know why. It was a hitherto unawakened instinct, rapidly being overridden by another one—that usual hunt for hedonism. Why was he worried this might end in a mess? It’d only be a night like any other. But that whisper rose again, telling him that walking away now would be the right thing to do.
Right for whom?
A different, far louder whisper mocked. Because damned if Ash ever did the right thing. He was Hugh Castle’s son, after all. He wasn’t supposed to have a conscience.
Stranded For One Scandalous Week (Mills & Boon Modern) (Rebels, Brothers, Billionaires Book 1) Page 8