by Cindi Madsen
Did he have to be so observant? Just go away already! “Extra credit. Dad wants me to learn all the ins and outs, and I want to surprise him with how much I know.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, and then he finally left, as slow as he was narcissistic.
After waiting an extra forever-long minute, I rushed over to Tristan’s hiding spot.
He stepped out from behind the trees right before I reached him, bitterness pinching his features. “Actually, she’s my girl,” he said through clenched teeth, his gaze on the spot where Abigor had disappeared.
I put my hands on the sides of Tristan’s waist. “Hey. You know that you’re the one I want.” I tipped onto my toes and kissed him. “I’m all yours.”
His rigid posture relaxed as he kissed me back. He cut it shorter than I would’ve preferred, his all-business face returning as he took my hand and started down the hill. “Abigor said a voice told him to come—did I hear that right?”
I nodded.
Tristan dropped to the blanket and grabbed the book. “Looks like finding demons that send birds as messengers just became our number-one priority.”
“And we should probably find a different spot to spend our afternoons.” I sat next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling the muscles move as he flipped through the pages and scanned the abnormally small text.
The more intently he studied, the more awful I felt. Not because I didn’t want to find the answer—I did. I also thought a nice BB gun might come in handy. I’d just pop every crow who came my way and be done with it.
What was really bothering me, though, was the thought that wouldn’t leave me alone: While Tristan makes my life here so much better, I make his harder.
Not only did guilt settle heavy in my gut, I was afraid that one of these days, he was going to decide I wasn’t worth it.
Thirty-Six
Dad cut the steak on his plate into bite-size pieces. “Tomorrow right after school, I’m going to pick you up in the carriage, and we’re going to check on the souls we won during the judgment proceedings.”
The faces of the people I’d wanted Dad to win for our side flashed through my mind. I wasn’t sure which would be worse: seeing them and feeling guilty I’d wanted them or seeing them and being happy they were here. “I need to catch up with my schoolwork, so why don’t you go on ahead without me?”
“You made a man denounce God while he was on trial for the fate of his soul. I don’t think you need to worry about your schoolwork.”
My fork hit my plate with a loud clang. “I don’t want to go, okay? You think that whole passing-judgment process was some kind of daddy-daughter bonding experience, but it doesn’t make me feel closer to you. It makes me hate you all over again.”
Naked hurt flashed through Dad’s eyes, but it quickly morphed to fiery anger. “You will go with me, and you will learn to deal with the fact that you want people’s souls as much as I do.”
His words echoed through the room, slamming into me over and over. I choked back the tears that wanted to break free and focused on the anger. “Why do you want to make me evil like you? Don’t you cause enough destruction—ruin enough people—without my help?”
Dad rose from his seat, looming over me in that intimidating way he loved. “It’ll never be enough. Not until Heaven trembles with fear.” He slammed his fists down on the table before restraining his fury and pinning me in place with his gaze. “As for wanting to make you like me, I don’t have to. You’ve always been like me, and you need to embrace it already.”
The legs of the chair scraped the floor as I stood and shook my head. “I’ll never embrace it. Never.”
His face went deadly calm, far scarier than the rage. “You already have, my dear. I know your powers are growing. You’ve been manipulating people more and more, haven’t you? Testing out how powerful you are and summoning objects.” One eyebrow arched as a maniacal grin claimed his mouth. “How do you think that works?”
A sick feeling churned through my stomach, eating away at the lining.
“You guessed it, sweetheart,” Dad said. “Our powers come from the souls here. You’ve been feeding off them, the exact same way I do. That’s why you craved those people when we were at the judgment proceedings.”
I backpedaled, bumping into my chair and sending it crashing to the floor. It should’ve sounded loud, but I couldn’t hear it over the rush of noise in my head.
“So it’s a little late to act all noble and holier than thou.” One last soulless smile in my direction and he sat back down and picked up his fork as though he hadn’t just shattered my entire sense of self. “You will go with me tomorrow, and if you don’t readjust your attitude, all that free time I’ve allowed you will disappear.”
If I was stronger, I’d say, Fine. Go ahead and take all my free time.
But that meant no Tristan, and that meant losing myself even more. Honestly I wasn’t sure there was any of me left.
Since I refused to burst into tears and give my dad any more ammo to manipulate my emotions, I stormed out of the room.
I started toward the stairs, but throwing myself on my bed wouldn’t make me feel any better, either.
If Dad was going to play dirty, I would do whatever it took to prove I could use my power for good. And I had an idea of how to do that while also paying Tristan back for how much he had to deal with because of me.
I walked down the hallway to the tech room, the awful paintings merely a blip on the radar after everything else I’d been through down here.
The second the door closed behind me, I settled into the chair, a hint of glee putting a dent in my despair.
“Pull up the profile for Savannah Slate.”
It was too late for me to change what had happened to Tristan, but it wasn’t too late to make sure his sacrifice hadn’t been in vain.
Thirty-Seven
I was lucky enough to catch Tristan alone the next morning, so we sneaked into the dark hallway I’d begun to think of as ours.
Bad news was never fun, so I just ripped off the Band-Aid of suckiness. “My dad and I had a fight last night, and long story short, I can’t meet you after school.”
Tristan’s tucked my hair behind my ear, putting every cell in my body on high alert. “All I could think about while I was trying to fall asleep last night was you, and now you’re telling me I have to wait to see you?”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brushed my lips across his jaw. “Believe me, I’m not happy about it, either. Dad wants me to help usher in the souls we won at the judgment proceedings, and I’m afraid that when I see them…” My lungs deflated, no longer able to take in or expel oxygen. “I’m afraid I’ll be happy.”
Tristan pressed his forehead to mine. “You can fight it.”
“But what if I can’t?” Each day I lost a little more of myself, blurring the lines of who I used to be. After what I’d learned last night, I wasn’t sure I had a shot in—you guessed it, Hell.
“You’ve got a soft heart. You care about people. Focus on that.”
Whenever I was with him, I felt stronger. If only I could bring him along. “I hate to ask, but I need your help with something else.”
“Anything,” Tristan said without any terms or conditions, and I fell that much harder for him.
“I have to stop using my powers.” Like the junkie I was, my hands shook. “I found out that’s why I craved those souls that day in the courtroom. Which means, I have to stop. For really reals this time. No more influence, no more summoning—even if it’s just a blanket or a snack. Mostly I’m telling you so that if I start to slip…”
He placed his hand on the side of my neck and used his thumb to tip up my chin. “I’ll catch you.”
My heart nearly burst right there on the spot. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck and kissed him with all the love he inspired in me. I wanted to stand there kissing him all day, but I forced myself to focus on my other item of business.
I put my hand on his chest, easing him back a couple torturous inches. “Last night, fueled by rage and the need to do something good, I sneaked into the tech room and looked up your sister. She had a hard time with your death, but she’s keeping her promise.”
After another check that the coast was clear, I continued, “There were a couple of orders for Tempters to work on her, but I signed into Dad’s e-mail—one, can you believe he has e-mail, and two, how crazy is it that he uses the same password for it as the door? Doesn’t he realize he can’t trust anyone?” I smiled at my own joke. “Anyway, I sent out orders telling the two Tempters on her case that the other was taking it over.”
Tristan remained stone-faced, and I worried I’d done something wrong.
When am I going to learn that he doesn’t want to talk about his death or anything having to do with it?
Then he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing so tight I could hardly breathe. “Thank you,” he whispered into my hair.
“It really wasn’t a big deal, and my dad might find out and change it back.”
“It’s a big deal to me.” He locked eyes with me. “I love you, Lily.”
“You do?” I croaked.
A slow smile spread across his face as he nodded.
“You remember I’m the daughter of the devil, right? And that I have freaky powers? And that I accidentally manipulate people and sometimes do it on purpose? And that—”
Tristan yanked me to him and covered my mouth with his. His tongue swept inside and devoured the rest of my sentence, destroying my thoughts along with it.
Who needed those pesky things anyway?
I wrapped myself tighter around him, and he boosted me into his arms and pressed me against the wall. I poured all the wonderful, happy emotions running through me into the kiss.
“In case you can’t tell,” I whispered once the need to breathe overtook my need to ravage him, “I love you, too.”
I groaned when his grip on me loosened, and he groaned as I slid down his body.
“As much as I’d love to stay here, we’re going to be late.” He glided his thumb along my lower lip. “I don’t think I can talk my way out of detention, and since you’re not doing that kind of thing anymore…”
“You right, you right.” I gripped a handful of his T-shirt and tugged him back to me, planted one last hard kiss on his lips. “Now go before I forget and use my powers for evil. Or would it be good?”
“Oh, it’d definitely be good,” Tristan said, far more lighthearted than usual. He walked away, and I took a moment to admire the way his butt filled out his jeans.
Last second, right before he stepped into the light, he pivoted to face me and blew me a kiss.
I bit my lip. I was seriously gone. Beyond gone.
I floated toward the mouth of the hallway, unbalanced in the best sort of way.
He loves me.
In an attempt to avoid appearing like the lovesick fool I was, I clamped my lips together and entered the stream of traffic.
Then came to a stop. Constance and a few of the guys had Tristan cornered, their body language making it clear the conversation was tense.
Constance gave me a sidelong glance. Anger ignited and spread, and with a shrill battle cry, she charged. I flung up my arms, but I was too late. She slammed into me, full force, and I hit the floor with a loud smack, my breath left somewhere in the air above and my head bouncing against the tile.
The next thing I knew, her full weight was parked on my chest and her hands were wrapped around my throat. “What are you doing to him? Tell me.”
“Constance, it’s not what you think,” Tristan yelled, fighting against the three guys who were restraining him. “Let go of her.”
“She’s manipulating you, and I won’t let her, no matter who she is.”
Tristan gave a low warning, and then I heard what I assumed were fists hitting flesh. My vision swam, and while I wasn’t sure if it was from the choking or the head injury, it didn’t much matter.
“You’ve got one. Last. Chance,” I wheezed.
Black dots crowded my view as her fingers tightened around my throat. “You’re in no position to be giving out warnings.”
I locked eyes with her and, summoning my powers, yelled, “Get off me!”
She flew backward into the opposite wall, her limbs crumpling in on themselves like a puppet who had its strings cut.
I sat up in time to see Tristan put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder. The fight drained from his body, and Tristan shoved him to the floor with the other two guys.
“Keep your hands off him,” I said, into one pair of eyes and then the next two. “If any of you touch him or me ever again, it’s going to feel like setting your hands on a hot stove.”
Their faces slackened, and they bowed their heads.
“Now go to class,” I commanded, and they rushed down the hall.
“Damn it, Lily,” Tristan said, pulling me to my feet. “You’re not supposed to do that anymore.”
Once I was sure I could stand without tipping over, I rubbed at my aching throat, taking deep breaths to recover from the ones I’d missed. “Well, unlike everyone else, I still need to breathe. I’d rather not find out what happens if I die here.”
He scowled. “You think I’d let that happen?”
“Are you seriously mad you didn’t get to save me?”
His head tilt had a whole heap of frustration to it. “I’m mad because you didn’t even try to fight her off using your other skills.”
With a groan, Constance sat up and rubbed her head. Most everyone else had fled the scene.
Tristan let go of me and squatted next to her. “You okay?”
Her eyes narrowed to slits when she spotted me at his side. “Tell me you’re not dumb enough to be messing around with Satan’s daughter. Again and again I’ve taught you to keep attention off yourself. It’s the only way to survive. And you’re going to throw it all away for what?” She threw a disgusted glance my way, so obviously she wasn’t that hurt. “For her?”
When Constance wobbled on her way to stand, Tristan offered his arm and helped her to her feet. She sure kept a tight grip on him, too. “She’ll ruin you,” she said. “Can’t you see her for what she is?”
“I don’t understand what I ever did to make you hate me,” I said, half tempted to add, Can’t we all just get along? At this point I honestly couldn’t care less about getting along, but I hated the torn expression on Tristan’s face.
A mirthless laugh bubbled out of Constance. “You know why I’m here? I sold my soul to land a role in a blockbuster movie. After years and years of trying to catch a break, the devil himself showed up and told me I could have exactly what I wanted.”
Her eyes turned crazed, manic even. “I was so desperate I took the deal. Mere days after wrapping my first movie in Hawaii, Pearl Harbor was attacked. I died in that bombing, before enjoying any of the fame, and poof, I’m sent to Hell.” Her voice quivered. “That wasn’t supposed to be the deal.”
For the first time I felt sympathy for her, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. “Look, I’m sorry you died, and yeah, it sounds like a messed-up deal.” I threw a hand to my chest. “But I didn’t have anything to do with that. It’s not my fault you sold your soul and then found out the price wasn’t worth it.”
She set her jaw and jabbed a finger in my face. “You’re just like him. Charming, attractive, and underneath it all, the only thing you care about is yourself. You might scare everyone else here, but I know someone who’ll care about you spending so much time with Tristan.”
Constance took a wobbly step down the hall. “I’ll go and tell your boyfriend. I’m guessing Abigor’s the jealous type.”
“Constance, you can’t tell anyone,” Tristan said, stepping in front of her. “Abigor would be furious at Lily, and after he beat me to a bloody pulp, he’d send me to the inner circle. All it would do was hurt everyone. You’ve got to trust me that I know what I’m doing.”
A sneer marred Constance’s pretty features. “If you want to be with her, then you deserve to burn.”
Tristan placed his hand on her shoulder. The fury faded, her expression softening as his calming effect washed over her.
But I knew it wouldn’t be enough.
Once she was mad again, she’d tell someone.
I latched onto her gaze. “You never saw me and Tristan together. You don’t think we even get along. You’re going to go to class and never tell another soul what happened today.”
Eyes blank, Constance nodded. “Never tell.”
Tristan’s mouth hung open. “Lily! I was handling it.”
“I’m sorry, but I won’t let you risk getting hurt. Now we’re late. Let’s get to class, where I’ll get to influence Ms. Bing to excuse our tardiness.” Not to mention the three guys who were involved and anyone else who witnessed our scuffle. “So much for not being like Daddy Dearest.”
Thirty-Eight
Murmurs went through the crowd, and people stopped to stare at the dragon-drawn carriage parked in front of the school. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see it.
Everything would be so nice if I could just cease to exist for a while.
“What happened earlier doesn’t change the way I feel about you,” Tristan’s soft voice said from behind me. “I want you to fight it harder, but I still love you. And I still believe in you.”
As he walked past, his fingers grazed mine, sending tingly electricity up my arm. He didn’t slow or look back. Didn’t gape at the carriage like everyone else.
I watched him melt into the crowd, wishing I could believe in me. Unfortunately I remembered how badly I’d wanted the souls back in the courtroom. And as upset as I’d been about having to use my powers on Constance earlier today, I’d still gotten a heady buzz.
The natural abilities I’d been born with were going to end up being what I lost my soul over, which seemed unfair, to say the least.
I’m sure Heaven’s never heard that one before. I imagined myself in front of Dad and Ahadiel, on trial for my soul and shouting, But that’s not fair!