by Seb Taylor
When was it that I’d stopped seeing him as a friend? When was it that I’d found myself wishing we could be so much more?
I didn’t know the answer but I felt that same ache return, that desperate need to be with him. More than anything I wanted to walk into his room and slide beneath the sheets, holding him close as I confessed just what I was feeling.
It was that desire that pulled me up short.
When he was around I could feel my willpower fading away. The need to just tell him how I was feeling bubbled up within me, and the more time I spent with him the closer I came to just telling him.
Taking in a deep breath, I pushed those emotions away, knocking twice on his door before walking into his room.
It was as dark as the rest of his apartment as I entered, his form just visible in the shadows as he sat up. I could hear him moan something as he rubbed at his eyes and then I heard his sharp intake of breath.
“It’s so cold!” He hissed.
“Tell me about it,” I mumbled. “Powers out.”
He muttered something and then fidgeted beneath the sheets. I could hardly make him out but that didn’t stop me from looking. I stared at his shadowy form, longing for just a peak of his body, my mind running wild as I stood there.
There were so many things wrong with what I wanted, but that didn’t stop me from craving them. I wanted to forget about being his boss, to forget about being his friend, and just go for it, but I reigned in my desire and just stood there.
“That’s the third time this month,” he grumbled. “What a night for it to go out!”
His response didn’t fill me with hope. If it was a regular thing, then it didn’t seem like it was going to come back anytime soon.
“Anyone you can call to let them know?” I suggested.
“Nope, last time I did they just told me to sit tight. Damn it’s cold.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was freezing, but hearing him complain about it made me laugh.
“Should have chanced it out on the streets,” I said. “Well, I guess I’ll try getting back to sleep then. Night.”
As I turned away I heard his voice catch in his throat, a muffled sound that eventually transformed into words. His voice seemed so uncertain in the dark, his hesitation obvious.
“Maybe you should stay in here?”
His words sank in and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was still asleep and infact dreaming. It was like the start of one of those dreams I’d had so many times. The spark that ignited something so much more powerful between us.
“Makes sense right?” He added. “Two bodies are better than one for keeping the room warm.”
Suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking about all the different ways we could heat things up. Just the thinking about his body being so close to mine beneath the sheets, all the things we could do together, got my excitement stirring.
Thankfully it was too dark for him to see the bulge of my excitement.
“Sure,” I said, not really sure what to say. “Makes sense.”
It wasn’t as though I could turn him down. What he was saying did make sense. We were just friends after all, two guys sharing a bed in the cold, trying to keep warm. He didn’t know any better and there was no way I could tell him.
If I protested then he was sure to figure out something was up and right then I didn’t want to give anything away.
Walking slowly over to his bed I slid onto it, crawling across until I was just inches from where he lay. Pulling up the sheets, I slipped beneath them, the warmth of his body radiating out against me.
It felt magnificent in more ways than one. It wasn’t just the warmth that was welcome, but the feeling of him so close to me. I felt my skin prickle with excitement, my chest tightening as I lay down beside him.
He was just a few inches away from me and in that moment I felt every shred of desire erupt within me.
It really was like the start of one of my dreams. I wanted to reach out and pull him close, to hold his body tight as my lips found his. We’d suddenly confess our need for each other, sinking down into the depths of our embrace.
I almost laughed at the thought, cursing myself for acting so foolishly.
“Hopefully the power will come back on soon,” Liam mumbled, turning so that he faced me in the dark. “I hope you don’t snore.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, some of the tension fading away. Liam was always one for jokes, making me laugh whenever he could. It was one of the things that helped to keep me sane at work, his constant good humor keeping me going.
“Never had any complaints,” I shot back.
“Is that so?” He replied, his voice heavy with suggestion.
I couldn’t help but read into his words, wanting to test and see what he really meant. I already knew that he was joking, but I wanted it to mean more than that.
“Be quiet and go to sleep,” I chuckled, my voice trembling ever so slightly.
“Yes boss,” he said, rolling so that he faced away from me.
Hearing him call me boss as I lay beside him made things even harder for me. My mind went wild with all sorts of images, my imagination running wild as I savored the feeling of his warm body beside me.
I wanted to be his boss, to control him, to have him right there and then. In that moment I wanted to make him mine more than ever before. The fire within me burned so bright, consuming all of my senses, but somehow I fought for control, turning away from him.
Closing my eyes, I tried to put any thought of my best friend from my mind. He was just playing and I needed to get a grip. If I kept on stumbling down this path then I would ruin what we already had, and that was the last thing I wanted.
Chapter 4
Liam
I wasn’t sure how many times I woke up during the night but when the first shreds of light peaked through my bedroom window I felt absolutely exhausted. Throughout the night I kept rolling closer to him, drawn in by the warmth of his body, hungry for more.
Every time I came close to him I felt my excitement growing, the sheer need to be close driving me wild.
No matter how much I tried to fight it, I just kept on waking up right beside him, shocked from my slumber as our bodies came into contact. On more than a few occasions I’d thought about staying huddled up beside him, but I always stopped myself, thinking better of it.
The last thing I wanted was for him to wake up and find me cuddled up close. What on earth he would make of that was beyond me, but I knew it wouldn’t be good.
It had been a torturous night, but somehow we made it through, the power flickering on about half an hour after the sun began to rise.
Without a second thought I slipped from underneath the sheets, leaving Mike behind as I strode out into the living room, tugging some clothing on as I walked. The place was still bitter cold, but I could feel the warmth slowly returning as the heating kicked in again.
Peering out of the window I saw that it was still snowing, coming down harder than before.
The streets were completely obscured by the blanket of ice and I knew there was no way that we would make it into work. Even though it was only a short walk things looked terrible outside. If we made it there, then no customers would and the rest of our team would struggle to get in.
Letting out a long sigh, I looked back over my shoulder, shocked when I saw Mike standing in the doorway of my bedroom. Our eyes met a few seconds later and I couldn’t help shake the feeling that he’d been checking me out.
It was wishful thinking, but I could have sworn his eyes were drinking me in, that same look on his face that I knew I’d worn a hundred times before when looking at him.
“Don’t reckon we’re going to make it in today boss,” I said, grinning at him. “Snow day!”
His smile lit up his face, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he came to stand beside me. We stood together in silence for a few minutes, looking down into the icy street below, neither one of us saying a word.
“
For once I think you might be right,” he said, nudging me playfully. “I guess I’d better message everyone before they try setting off.”
He turned away and walked across my flat, rummaging around until he found his phone. I watched him for a few minutes and then prepared as a warm drink, waiting as he messaged the team who were meant to be working.
A few minutes later and he was on the phone to our regional manager, explaining the situation, and from the sound of his tone things seemed to be going OK. Once he finished the call I looked up at him and waited for him to fill me in.
“Jill said other stores are facing similar issues,” he said. “Apparently it’s chaos everywhere, so at least it’s not just us.”
I nodded slowly, glancing out of the window again, still shocked how much it was snowing. It had been years since it had been bad like this, although I couldn’t remember ever seeing it this chaotic.
“Hows that coffee coming?” He asked, snapping me out of my trance.
“Coming right up,” I chuckled, grabbing the mug before walking to join him.
I slumped down on the couch beside him after handing him the mug, stretching my legs out as I let the warmth of the heating slowly bring life back into my body.
The night had been painfully cold, the only source of heat coming from Mikes gorgeous body. How I’d managed to resist him was beyond me, but I was proud of myself.
“Thanks again for letting me stay,” Mike said. “Even if you’ve got no electricity.”
“Hey, that’s not my fault,” I protested. “At least you got to experience what a night in bed with me is like.”
As soon as the words left my lips I felt my cheeks go red. I couldn’t believe what I’d said, even if it was just a joke. It was one of the problems with the way I was feeling, that the usual jokes I made between us always felt oddly inappropriate.
It didn’t feel like that long ago that saying something silly like that would have been fine, but now it just seemed out of place.
Glancing out of the corner of my eye I couldn’t help but notice that Mike was staring straight ahead, as if at nothing. His cheeks were slightly flushed as well, the silence speaking volumes.
Was I reading into things or was there something there? Again, I couldn’t help but think it was wishful thinking, but there definitely seemed to be a shift in our relationship.
Now that I thought back to the previous night I couldn’t help but think there were a few times when it had been Mike cuddling up to me and not the other way around. Those odd moments had been too short, but I could have sworn I’d felt more than just his arms and legs against me.
The fleeting memory of something hard nudging against me made my heart race.
I wasn’t sure if that had been my imagination, but the harder I thought about it, the more certain I was that it had really happened. Mike had pressed in close to me, and the bulge of his excitement had pressed against me.
“What do we do today then?” I asked, desperately trying to distract myself.
Mike shrugged beside me, taking a long drink of coffee.
“Not sure. There’s not really much we can do I guess, so we should take this opportunity to just chill out.”
That sounded perfect to me. Our work often kept us busy and our days off very rarely fell on the same day. This was a unique chance for us just to take some time out and enjoy each others company, maybe play a few games and slob out for the day.
“Sounds good to me,” I said. “First, I’m gonna get a shower. You’re welcome to get one after me if you like.”
He smiled up at me and nodded as I stood up, those gorgeous eyes of his following me as I walked away. I could feel them sizing me up, never leaving me as I walked to the bathroom, but then, I never wanted him to look away.
More than anything I wanted him to admire me, to want me in the same way I wanted him. It seemed impossible, but right then I was certain he felt the same way for me as I did for him.
Chapter 5
Liam
Later that day I received a call from Gemma, one of my neighbors who I’d gotten close with shortly after moving in. She was great to talk to and always there for me, kind of like my agony aunt.
On more than one occasion she’d listened to me as I talked about Mike and it hadn’t taken her long to see how much I actually liked him. She’d always tried to persuade me to make a move, to do something about how I was feeling, but she could never quite break through to me.
I’d told her so many times that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him, but I just didn’t want to ruin what we already had.
She’d listened to my excuses, nodding along, but our conversations always ended the same. Gemma thought I was mad for not at least telling him how I felt. She said that if we were such good friends then we would be able to move past it if he wasn’t interested, but if he was, well, then there might be something amazing to follow.
Knocking on her door, I waited until she finally pulled it open, her broad smile lighting up her face when she saw the heater in my hand.
“You are a life saver!” She said, stepping back and letting me in. “The heating never came back on here and no one can get through to fix it until the roads are cleared.”
Chuckling, I walked in, smiling at my friend. I’d left Mike downstairs to catch up on a conference call that Jill had thrown together, so I had plenty of time to catch up with Gemma.
She was a little older than myself, with dark hair that she wore tied back into a tight bun. Her green eyes always seemed to sparkle with life and energy, making me think that I could accomplish anything when she told me.
It was that energy that made me want to go for it with Mike, but even she couldn’t break me down.
“How was your night in the cold?” She asked as I set up the small portable heater.
“Long story,” I muttered.
I could tell that her ears pricked up, the excitement on her face clear when I glanced up at her. If there was one thing that Gemma thrived on it was hearing about the challenges I faced, and right then she knew I was facing one of my biggest.
“Tell, tell, tell!” She shrieked.
“Let me get this set up first,” I said, glancing over my shoulders. “It’s bloody freezing.”
It took me a little while to get the settings on the heater just right, but after about five minutes of fidgeting everything was set and ready to go. As soon as the warm air started blowing I let out a long sigh, glancing over at Gemma who was still eagerly waiting for me to fill her in on what was bothering me.
“There you go,” I said.
She narrowed her eyes at me and waited impatiently, tapping her fingers against the kitchen counter.
“OK, I’ll tell you, but put the kettle on first.”
A few minutes later we were sitting down together, drinking our coffee as I filled her in on what had happened after the snow started falling. She looked at me through those big eyes of hers, listening attentively as I told her about our night in bed together.
I didn’t leave much out, explaining how he’d pressed up close at one stage, so close that left me aching for so much more.
“It sounds like he likes you as well!” She said excitedly. “Don’t you think?”
I shook my head and laughed, shocked by the absurdity of her idea. There was no way that Mike was interested in me, and even if he was he wouldn’t have done anything to break the rules at work.
“No, not a chance,” I said. “Seriously, if you saw him you’d see just how out of my league he is.”
“Hey, don’t put yourself down like that,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. “You’re a damn good looking guy.”
I blushed despite myself. I wasn’t good at taking compliments so instead I just said nothing.
“Here’s a wild idea, why don’t I come over later and I can tell you what I think after I’ve seen you both together?”
It seemed like a stupid idea, but then it would be nice to have someone else there
to divert my attention. I was beginning to worry what I might do if I was left alone with him for too long.
The constant temptation was enough to throw me into a spin and the last thing I wanted to do was something crazy. If there was even the slightest chance of us being together then I needed to approach that with caution.
There was so much at stake and the last thing I ever wanted to do was risk our friendship. We got along far too well for that and he meant the absolute world to me.
Then there was the matter of work. If I did something stupid and Mike didn’t feel the same way, then things would be hell at work.
“OK, sounds like a plan,” I said. “But you’ll see there’s nothing there.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” she said with a wink. “Even if there isn’t anything there it would be nice to meet the guy for once.”
I couldn’t help but smile. For as long as I could remember I’d tried to keep my friendships separate, more so because I was worried that Gemma might say something to Mike. I knew that she wouldn’t tell him outright how I was feeling, but I got the impression that she would drop a lot of hints.
Grinning, I wondered if that would be so bad. To have him find out and figure it all out for himself. It seemed like the cowards way out, but a part of me wanted it to go that way.
“Right, well I’ll drop you a message later on then,” I said. “But just make sure you behave.”
Gemma smiled wickedly back at me as I left her apartment, her giggling following me down the hall. I knew I could trust her not to say anything, but I couldn’t help but wonder how she would be around him.
Was there really a chance he was interested in me? Would she see anything between us?
As much as I hoped she would, I also wished that she would see nothing, to put this stupid dream to rest. I needed to get my feelings for him under control and then I needed to get over him.
There was never going to be a chance of anything happening between us, but that didn’t stop me from hoping.