“So let me guess—Blondie there is something special, too?”
“The young woman you see there is the noble Lady Dustiness. Hailing from a noble family known as the King’s Shield, she comes from a long line of powerful knights. I can’t recommend making an enemy of her…”
They weren’t trying to hide their mouths, so Read Lips made their conversation as clear as day to me.
Then, naturally, the prince’s gaze fell on me…
“And what about the pathetic-looking guy…?”
“Hmm, I’ve never seen or heard of him. I assumed he was just along to carry their bags.”
Oh, they were gonna pay.
Just when we were all struggling for a way to wrap things up…
“What is all this commotion about?”
A man emerged from the castle. He seemed perfectly ordinary, but one glance at his elaborate clothing made it obvious he was a bigwig around here. He looked more dignified than the prince as he walked forward, almost seeming to float.
“My Lord Prime Minister!” one of the retainers said. “Ahem, you see…”
Well, that explained who he was anyway. He must be the guy people had been gossiping about in the restaurant the day before: the prime minister leading the country by the nose.
As everyone else hurried to suck up to him, Iris composed herself and said, “Greetings. I am Iris, First Princess of Belzerg. It is an honor to meet you.”
“Well now, this here is far cuter than anything I expected to see from the royal family of Belzerg. I am Lugkraft, humbly serving as prime minister. I look forward to a productive meeting with you.”
All the chatter had died down the moment the prime minister appeared. He greeted the rest of us solicitously, then turned and started walking away. We heaved a collective sigh of relief and followed him.
“If you will, Lady Iris, you and your company may follow me. Preparations for your reception have commenced…” At that exact moment, Aqua wandered up to the man and gave him a nonchalant pat on the back. “Y-yes, priest? Can I help you in some way?”
Aqua cocked her head. “I don’t quite know why, but you sort of bug me, mister. You don’t have the stink of a demon, and you don’t feel like an undead… Hey, mister, you wouldn’t happen to be consorting with demons, right? Or keeping a feral undead as a pet, maybe?”
Darkness immediately started bowing and trying to cover. “I’m so sorry, Lord Lugkraft! This person is a follower of the Axis Church—a group of known crazies!”
That caused Aqua to try to slip away from the hand Darkness was using to restrain her.
“Ah, well, an Axis follower can hardly be blamed for acting irrationally. Please don’t worry. It truly doesn’t bother me…”
But ever since Aqua had touched him, the prime minister’s expression had been strained.
8
“I—I beg your assistance in this matter!”
Iris, who had been conferring with the prime minister, spoke in a voice that could be heard all throughout the audience chamber.
Just as the prime minister had told us, we found ourselves welcomed when we entered the castle. For a party in a big, economically powerful country, the reception seemed weirdly low-key.
“Your begging may be for naught, I’m afraid. Our nation is up against a financial wall. Just look at this party. We are welcoming the princess of Belzerg, our cherished ally, and yet, this is the most lavish reception we can afford. Thus, you see, even at your personal request, Lady Iris, we cannot hope to take on any more of the financial burden of defense.”
The prime minister looked suitably apologetic, but his refusal was adamant. Us, the prime minister, the prince, and his entourage were the only ones at the table in the little reception hall, although we were stuffing our faces.
“But from what I’ve seen so far, I cannot say this looks like a nation on the brink of financial collapse…,” Iris said. I was hanging around as inconspicuously as I could, and it sounded like they were getting to the heart of the matter.
“I grant, it may appear so to an outsider. But those who live in this country are in extreme duress, by no means able to offer support…”
“I—I see…” Iris drooped at that.
Normally, I would have expected Darkness, our resident noble, to say something. Unfortunately, she was too busy glaring at our two problem children, who were eating and drinking everything in sight.
Well, I would simply have to pick up the slack.
“’Scuse me. Mind if I butt in?”
“E-Elder Brother?”
I inserted myself between the chatting parties, provoking a not-so-subtle look of disgust from the minister.
“You’re one of Lady Iris’s bodyguards, as I recall. The lady and I are currently engaged in a discussion of great gravity. Perhaps whatever you have to say could wait until later?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it—I’m this kid’s big brother. Think of me like her guardian.”
The prime minister stared at me incredulously, especially when I said “big brother.” The toadies in the hall picked up the refrain: “Big brother? That’s Prince Jatice?!”
“I see… Yes, Lady Iris did call you Elder Brother, but I never imagined… The last I heard, you were on the front lines, fighting the Demon King. Perhaps I was misinformed. And that black hair and those black eyes… Could they have been passed down to you from the Hero?”
The prime minister busied himself mistaking my identity. I didn’t know what he was going on about, with all this muttering about black hair, black eyes, and inheriting things from ancestors, but this was obviously my chance.
“Regardless,” he concluded, “the august nature of the person issuing the request makes no difference, I’m afraid. We cannot spare anything for further support. I am terribly sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to resign yourselves to that fact.” He sounded especially emphatic, like he was a little worried about me.
I should’ve known we weren’t going to get anything out of the prime minister. But that still left… “I see, I see… Iris, in that case, let’s go ask Prince Levy. I assume you have no objections if the prince himself says he’ll give us the money?”
“What?! Of course I would object! I’ve been telling you we simply don’t have the means! And on top of that, I run the government in this country, so no matter what the prince says…”
Cracking my knuckles, I leaned in nice and close to the livid prime minister. “A little birdie in town told me that the prince has final authority over every political decision. People seemed to have a lot of good things to say about you, too, Prime Minister. Like how the country was rolling in cash thanks to you. But what’s this—good times? Well, that doesn’t sound like what you’ve been telling us, does it?”
In a voice that made him sound like he was passing a kidney stone, the prime minister said, “Very well. Only, you must conduct your negotiations with the prince by yourselves. As for me, I have no authority to intercede.”
It sounded like he was washing his hands of the matter. That was fine by me. This prince didn’t look like the sharpest knife in the drawer anyway.
Iris and I trotted over to the prince, the prime minister following as if to keep an eye on things. I guess he wanted to make sure the kid didn’t get sucked in by whatever we said.
Iris smiled at the prince, who was engaged in conversation with one of his attendants. “How are you this day, Prince Levy? Might I be so bold as to speak with you for a moment?”
The prince, who had been chatting happily, instantly took on a sore look. “I was fine until about five seconds ago. What would you want to talk about? I don’t have anything to say to some barbarian princess from Belzerg.”
The venom just kept coming…
That does it. I’m gonna strangle this runt.
“Hey, punk, you’ve got some nerve speaking to my little sister like that. What, never heard of being polite? You making fun of us? Pretty trash fiancé if you ask me.”
&n
bsp; “E-Elder Brother!”
“Huh?! How dare you, you dumb, ugly… Elder Brother?”
Iris grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to a corner of the room. “Elder Brother, please. Please don’t let your temper get the better of you. Our nation desperately needs defense money as well as funds to go on the offensive. Otherwise, we won’t even be able to pay rewards to adventurers. Please, for my sake, bear with him, will you?”
Looking into Iris’s beseeching eyes, I pushed down my boiling anger. “…I guess I can’t say no when you put it that way.”
As for the prince, he was holding a whispered conference with his prime minister and entourage. I assumed they were explaining to him who I was. Or at least, who they thought I was.
“Phew, look, sorry about that. Having your little sister mocked right in front of you just strikes a nerve, y’know? I mean, it was kind of your own fault, but we’re willing to let bygones be bygones. I was this close to siccing my crazy Crimson Magic Clan member and nutjob Axis follower on you.”
“Hrk?! U-um, yeah. I went a little too far myself. Let’s just say it’s water under the bridge.”
What a delightful reaction. I guess he knew enough to be afraid of the Crimson Magic Clan and the Axis Church.
This was a good chance to ask him about the money. Iris seemed to pick up on what I was thinking, because she gave me a little nod and looked at the prince. “In fact, Your Majesty, we wished to speak to you regarding the matter of money for the defense…”
Iris had hardly finished speaking before the prince said, “Impossible.” There was no sign of the cowering boy from an instant ago; suddenly, he carried himself like a prince. “Lugkraft’s given me the details. There can only be, and has only ever been, one answer, and that’s absolutely not.”
So this was what it meant to find yourself adrift and helpless.
“Er, if I may ask, why not? Without your support, Belzerg will be overrun by the Demon King, and once he has conquered us, Elroad will be his next target.”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. I’ve already got it covered. Our nation doesn’t plan to resist the Demon King. So I can hardly go around handing out money to fight him.”
…
“What…? Wh-what do you mean, Your Majesty? What’s to become of the alliance between our nations?”
“Eh, we have our own stuff to deal with. If you want to continue the alliance, fine, but the main thing is not to aggravate the Demon King and his army. Oh, and you can go ahead and consider the engagement annulled if you want. It was really my parents’ idea anyway. I never wanted to get married to some barbarian princess from stupid Belzerg. What self-respecting guy would marry a girl who was stronger than he was?”
One second.
That’s approximately how long I thought I saw a happy look pass over Iris’s face, but then she dissolved into tears and grabbed the prince by the chest with both hands. “I don’t care one bit if you call off our engagement. But without that money…!”
“Get as angry as you want—I don’t care. If you’re half the royal you say you are… Glrgh. W-wait, stop, I can’t br—! Stop, hold on…!”
Iris’s hands were around his collar now, the prince’s face turning white before our very eyes. His attendants were in an uproar.
“Cough, hack! Geez, you really are a barbarian!” the prince declared, his own eyes brimming now. “I was right not to marry you! If you’re all done talking, then get the hell out of here!”
“…Very well,” Iris said, her head drooping.
The prince grinned. “Yeah? Then—”
“I shall return tomorrow,” she announced before he could finish.
“…Huh?” That caught him off guard.
Iris puffed out her little chest proudly. “I shall speak to you again tomorrow. And not only tomorrow. The day after that, as well, and the day after that. I shall speak to you until you agree to support us.”
The prince’s jaw fell open as Iris stared him down. “W-well, just you try!” he said, collecting himself.
Iris grinned from ear to ear when she heard that. “Yes, Your Majesty, I certainly will!”
And with that, she took my hand and spun on her heel.
The prince shouted from behind us. “Hey, starting tomorrow, you only get one bodyguard! Don’t bring your Crimson Magic whatevers or your Axis so-and-sos! And leave that Dustiness girl home, too! Just that wimpy-looking brother of yours!”
It was all the resistance he could offer.
Chapter 4
Praise for This Martial Princess!
1
The next morning. Iris and I were seeing everyone off in front of the inn.
“’Kay, then, Kazuma, we’ll see you later. I’m gonna win today; I can feel it. When I had my tea, there was a stalk floating upright in it, and that’s good luck!”
“I saw you, Aqua. You just kept pouring cups for yourself until you got a lucky stalk in one of them.”
Aqua was headed to the casino. Megumin was going off on her own; she said there was a place she wanted to find.
“Kazuma, I’m trusting you with Lady Iris. Much as it irks me, the prince explicitly told me to stay away, so I guess I have to. I’m going to look around town and see if I can find something we can use as leverage.”
With that, Darkness also headed into town. And then—
“We will be going as well, then. I swear we’ll get that support money!”
Iris and I were going to the castle first thing in the morning to make good on yesterday’s promise.
Darkness beckoned me over. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Kazuma. Normally, this sort of thing would be my job, but…”
“Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it. I told you, I won’t let anyone make Iris unhappy.”
Darkness nodded seriously at me.
“I’ll be at the casino, kids. If I hit the jackpot, I’ll buy you a souvenir, Kazuma!”
Aqua’s remark was like a signal that sent us in our different directions.
The prince had a little surprise in store for us when we got to the castle.
“I’m sorry, but what do you mean, ‘en garde’…?”
We had been ushered onto a training ground.
“Why so shocked? As far as I’m concerned, our negotiations ended yesterday. You insist on continuing them, but I don’t see the point.” Then he gestured toward the knights in the training area. “I do, however, love a good melee. If you can beat all my minions here, I’ll hear you out. Fair?”
“I accept!” Iris said immediately. Then she drew her sword as if it was the most natural thing in the world and stood in front of the prince with a big smile on her face.
I was supposed to be the bodyguard around here, but apparently, Iris meant to handle this herself. The knights, not expecting this slip of a girl to take up the prince’s challenge, looked startled for just a second, then…
“Prince Levy, please let me handle this!”
“No, let me! I’ll teach this smart-mouthed little girl some respect.”
“Hold on. I’m the weakest member of this brigade. It only makes sense that I should be her first opponent…”
The knights, miffed by what they saw as mockery from us outsiders, stumbled over themselves to get in the ring.
The prince smiled indulgently. “Hold your horses, guys… Say, you sure you’re going to be okay? Not going to have your big brother handle this?” He smirked at Iris.
Iris casually lowered her blade and said, “Don’t worry about me. Elder Brother need not dirty his hands with this affair; I will be more than enough to handle it. Well, everyone? Come at me!”
That was beyond what the knights could take. She had said “everyone.” And so…
“Not even one-on-one? I know Belzerg is famous for fighting strength, but I think you underestimate us, Princess.” A man who looked like the knights’ captain spoke to Iris, practically oozing killing intent.
“I certainly don’t mean to insult y
ou, but… Well, I will take on any number of you at once, and I am prepared to do so at any time.”
The guy took the bait, and without even waiting for a signal to start, he raised his sword—
“Exterion!”
Iris’s almost casual swipe knocked it clean out of his hands.
“…Buh?”
Gee, who said that?
The laughing, raging knights were stone-still now; you could have heard a pin drop on the training grounds.
“Iris,” I said, “if you ruin all their swords, this place won’t be much good for training, will it? Here, there’s a dull training blade over there. Use that one.”
“Oh! You’re absolutely right; I’m so sorry… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to destroy your sword.” She looked genuinely apologetic.
“What?!” said the guy whose sword she had cut in half. “N-no, uh… Please, don’t bother your royal self about it…?”
He still didn’t seem to know quite what had happened.
Everyone watched, troubled, as Iris pattered over to the wall and grabbed the blunt sword.
“Very well, everyone, you may commence!”
Her smile covered her whole face.
“Um… C-could we speak to you now…?”
“Yes. By all means.”
The training area was strewn with battered knights. In the middle of it all sat the prince, as meek as a kitten.
Iris, who didn’t have a drop of sweat on her brow despite the immense violence she had just inflicted, drove the training sword into the dust of the floor and smiled at the prince. “Thank you very much! In that case…”
“Wait! I’ve told you I’ll hear what you have to say, but I’m not promising support! Don’t get ahead of yourself!”
Sure. Like a kid who loses a game of rock, paper, scissors and then says it’s best of three.
“Hey, Iris, all his knights are knocked out at the moment. No witnesses. I think this would be a great time to bury this little brat and go home.”
“Hrk?!”
“N-no, Elder Brother, we mustn’t! Then we wouldn’t get the money!”
Gamble Scramble! Page 9