“You’re lonely, and I get tired of being around rough men all the time. Is that a problem?”
Eye to eye with him, twin vertical lines appeared between her smooth dark brows as she considered her answer. Finally, she shrugged. “I don’t see why it should be.” Then she practically ran up the stairs, calling cheerfully over her shoulder, “See you tomorrow at five, Kincaid.”
He stood there long after the door closed behind her, wondering why he was doing this. With Lana, it started out of concern for an employee. Being homesick, and missing his sister, Becca, she’d quickly filled the void, becoming like family. Nothing romantic had ever crossed his mind because he’d realized at the start she was in love with another man. More importantly, his dick hadn’t ached when she laughed, and she didn’t have Adria’s tempting full lips that made him think of nothing other than tracing them with his tongue. He and Lana had spent countless nights in deep conversation over a pitcher of beer, but never once had his cock tested the stitching in his Levi’s until his balls ached.
His agitated strides took him quickly through town. He passed the Watering Hole just as three drunken miners staggered out and turned toward the singles residence. There hadn’t been any incidents with the few women living on Terra Nova. Earth females knew better than to put themselves into vulnerable situations, and most of the ones here were married and had husbands to protect them. Adria was too innocent and too trusting.
Again, he had to wonder why he felt compelled to watch out for her. She had guards to do that. If her safety was his primary concern, he could be a dick and alert them to her late-night stroll alone. Or, he could tell her brother. But did he want to alienate her? He enjoyed her company and didn’t want to pass up another chance to share pastries in the morning, watch her nose wrinkle as she tried something new like beer, and to feel her round ass rubbing against him as he taught her how to shoot pool.
Damn.
He’d sworn, after his ex crushed him so coldheartedly, he’d never get emotionally attached again. Sex was different. He went into it with his partner fully aware up front a relationship wasn’t what he wanted. A Primarian female was alien in more than the obvious way. They were closely protected by their males, and most waited for intimacy until they found their mate. But Adria never intended to have one.
Did that make her celibate for life? Surely not. Would she be interested in exploring with him, knowing it would go nowhere? As a self-proclaimed career woman, she didn’t seem to want attachments either.
His dilemma—did he test the waters with her or lock down his lust-filled thoughts for the lovely alien and keep her firmly in the friend zone?
When he weighed the pros and cons in the friends-versus-lovers debate, the scales tipped heavily in favor of friendship. Until he added the one and only factor topping the lovers list. Then crash! The scales slammed down on the opposite side. He wanted her more than the woman he’d chosen to be his wife, and well beyond the others who’d come before and after her.
But he couldn’t risk it. Not with his world in disarray and the colony depending on him to keep his head in the game and build their home as quickly and efficiently as he could. He didn’t need a distraction like Adria, or a broken neck courtesy of her irate brother.
As he strode through the construction yard toward his temporary residence in the rear, he adjusted his pants, facing the first of many cold showers in his future.
ADRIA FORCED HERSELF to mount the steps without looking back. Once inside, she didn’t pause to collect herself like she wanted to, instead willing her legs to climb the three flights to her apartment. With trembling fingers, she scanned her thumb, breathing a sigh of relief when the locks disengaged and she could escape inside. With her heart thudding hard, she slammed the door and rested her forehead against it.
A beer buddy and pool partner, that was all he wanted. She’d be a stand-in for his companion of the past year. Granted, his choices were few, but would any willing female do?
Faex!
First, she couldn’t fulfill her role as a woman or a mate, and now she was only good enough to be a substitute friend.
Her heart aching, she turned and faced her empty apartment.
Much like her family home, the one she and Trask grew up in, no one was there to greet her, or to ask about her day, to give her a hug over her hurt feelings, or to tell her to suck it up—a phrase Eryn often used—because this was her lot in life.
No matter the brave front she put on when she spoke of her choice of career over family, it hurt knowing she’d never love and be loved in return by either a mate or a child. Further, it seemed she’d never experience intimacy with a man. She couldn’t breed, this was true, but sterility didn’t make joining with a male impossible.
At home, she’d have to go through the data bank to find a low-percentile partner, so a mate bond didn’t form. Otherwise, they’d be stuck together for life and that would be unfair to him. For an infertile woman to go to the data bank would be like waving a flag. Everyone would know what she was after.
How did the human women put it?
Hm, yes! She’d look like she was trolling for sex. How humiliating.
That was the real reason she was still innocent at the age of twenty-three.
This evening with Beck, as they laughed, teased, and frequently touched, the desire she’d experienced for him on first sight had grown exponentially. She thought he might feel the same way. Did her inexperience cause her to read him wrong?
Without turning on the lights, Adria moved through the main living space to the bedroom. There, she flopped face down on the bed, her face buried in her pillow, and let the tears come. Tears of loneliness, injustice, and despair.
Alone in her room was the only time she let her discontent show. Otherwise, she pasted on a smile and told the world she was happy.
Most days she was. She truly wanted to be a physic, to help others, to heal the sick and find cures for disease, but that didn’t mean she didn’t grieve for what she couldn’t have. To one day hold her own child in her arms, created with her one true mate from a bond stronger than anything else in life.
Beck seeing her as a friend instead of a woman hurt; she couldn’t deny it. It drove home the inadequacy she felt as a female. But it was nothing compared to what she’d feel once her field training was done and she went home where human mates were giving birth nearly every day.
She didn’t begrudge any of the human-Primarian mate bonds that produced children, but she couldn’t help being resentful of the Maker who had denied her what their women had wanted above all else since the beginning of time.
It was then she decided she couldn’t go home, although she didn’t know how she would bear it. Despite the heat, humidity, biting bugs, incessant allergies, and the rustic conditions, when her training was through, she’d request a permanent assignment here on the colony.
If not Beck, perhaps one of the humans who would eventually call Terra Nova home might want her. One out of thirty million. Surely, despite her Maker bedamned luck, she could beat those odds.
Chapter Four
Saturday, after a busy morning of end-to-end appointments, Adria found a quiet spot on a hill beneath a shade tree. Lying on a patch of thick grass, she enjoyed the light breeze and lower-than-usual humidity after the showers moved through last night. She wasn’t even bothered with her allergies, the rain having washed away most of the dust and pollen from whatever plant bothered her so.
When she closed her eyes to catch a quick nap after sleeping so poorly these past few nights, she tried to blank her mind. As happened in the dark of her bedroom and intrusively throughout the day, her thoughts were filled with Beck—not surprising since they’d been together every night this week.
On Wednesday, in an attempt to fit in more at the exclusively human bar, she’d searched through the clothes Lana had left behind and donned a pair of faded jeans and a vivid-purple tank top. Being several inches taller than her brother’s mate, she cuffed the d
enim trousers to make them look like the cropped pants she’d seen other human females wear. Though she felt somewhat exposed compared to her usual uniform skirt or the customary ankle-length flowing dresses worn by women at home, the butter-soft material was so comfortable she soon understood the appeal, and there was a simple freedom in pants the cumbersome skirts didn’t allow. The top was more formfitting than anything she’d worn before, but it left her arms bare, and the scoop neckline in front and back was cool in the Terra Nova climate.
Beck’s appreciative gaze when she’d opened her door at his knock evaporated any doubts she had about her choice of clothing.
Darts was as competitive as Beck predicted. Four two-man teams played in what he called a round-robin tournament. The two with the best record after each team faced off against one another met for a winner-take-all championship match. Despite a few arguments over scoring, there was mostly affable joking between the men, like she often saw among the warriors from her world. It made her think that, universally, males had many similar traits.
Once the winners were crowned, Adria got to try her hand at it. The lessons weren’t nearly as much fun as pool. Beck didn’t need to put his arms around her to demonstrate the three-fingered grip, though the light touch of his hand on hers made her skin tingle long after he let go.
The best part, other than simply being with him, was she’d beaten him soundly. Her victory didn’t come until game three of three, and it wasn’t determined until the final two shots, but it was a victory, nonetheless.
She didn’t intend to be an ungracious winner, but after Beck failed to throw a double for his score to count, she threw a triple eighteen and a double twelve and won the game. He took losing in stride and even gave her a high-five—her first—then slung his arm around her shoulders and moved them to the bar where she collected her winnings. A drink, wine this time, which turned out to be very much like vilo.
The following evening, just as the clinic closed, she found Beck, handsome as ever in his usual snug T-shirt and faded jeans, leaning casually against his hover car, waiting for her.
“Did I forget plans for this evening?” she asked as she approached.
“No, but I’m on my way out of town to tour a few of the job sites. I thought you might want to keep me company.”
She looked at Juna whom she’d planned to have dinner with.
“Don’t worry about me,” she assured her with a wave of her hand. “You can join me for canned ham and rehydrated potatoes at Milton’s another night.” She glanced at Beck. “How are things coming along?”
“Slowly.”
Her smile faded. “I was afraid of that.” She patted Adria’s shoulder and declared, “You kids have fun, now,” before heading off in the direction of the diner.
Beck grunted after she was out of earshot. “Kids? She can’t be more than a year or two older than I am.”
“She’s thirty-five but sometimes acts much older. As my mentor, she tends to mother me, and you got caught up in it.” Gazing up at him, she took in the little lines beside his eyes and bracketing his mouth. Laugh lines she suspected since he did so often and because his skin was smooth otherwise. “How old are you?” she rudely blurted out.
“Thirty-two next month,” he answered, not taking offense. He opened the passenger door for her. “If you’re hungry, I brought sandwiches and drinks. We can eat on the way, but if you can wait, we’ll be passing by the lake on the way home. I thought we could stop.”
“A picnic sounds nice.”
With her seated, he crossed his arms on the roof and leaned in, grinning. “And here I thought I’d be introducing you to something else new from Earth.”
“Sorry. You don’t get to claim this one. We do practically everything outdoors, especially since it isn’t so darn hot.”
“Ah, but it’s only 95 degrees here today, kiddo. Practically a cold snap.”
When she wrinkled her nose at him, he laughed and shut the door.
In minutes, they left the town behind. Adria watched through the window, as the landscape changed drastically, becoming a wild, overgrown jungle. Until then, she hadn’t truly appreciated all Beck and his crews had done make their small section of the planet livable.
At their first stop, what he called phase 2, men and machines were clearing trees and vegetation. Not far from there, excavation lasers blasted through the rocky terrain while huge earth movers cleared away the debris and other equipment leveled the ground in preparation for building.
“How long will it take to get things ready for the first group to arrive from Earth?”
“To accommodate twenty-five thousand in the first wave, a year, perhaps two.”
Adria turned from the window and took in his grim expression. “You don’t have that long, do you?”
“No. Your princep is sending more supplies and laborers in the next few weeks, but even that won’t be enough because three months after the first group arrives will come another, and another. We’ll go from a population of 500 to 75,000 in a period of six months, and that’s just the beginning.”
“What will you do?”
He shrugged. “My best. Fortunately, essential personnel will come first, which means more skilled labor, military, doctors, nurses, and more scientists. Although I’m sure the rich and powerful will finagle seats as early as possible. Healthy women and children will also make the first cuts. Older folks, people with chronic illness, and those who can’t pull their own weight or don’t have the money to grease palms will be shuffled to the end of the line.”
“Oh, Beck. That’s so unfair.”
His face tightened. “With only a fraction of our population able to come, it’s not only the survival of the fittest, but of the most powerful and affluent, as well. I’m grateful it doesn’t fall to me to decide who comes and who is unworthy and has to stay.”
Their situations were too much alike. When he said healthy women, it automatically changed in her head to fertile women.
If only a small number could make it out before the unimaginable happened, it would be vital to the residents of the new colony to secure their future and grow their population. Like on Primaria, the ability to breed would dictate a woman’s value.
She put herself in the position of a human woman like her. If there was one seat left on the ship, and it came down to her, a highly trained physic or a woman with functioning ovaries, she’d lose and be left behind.
They made three more stops. All were like their budding capital, smack dab in the middle of a jungle, but none any farther along than the others, and all far from ready to be a home to tens of thousands.
The ride back to town was quiet, Beck lost in thought and more subdued than she’d ever seen him. He’d obviously forgotten the picnic by the lake, but she didn’t bring it up, neither hungry nor in the mood. Unsure what to say, she kept silent but laid her hand on his forearm, giving him a squeeze she hoped conveyed her understanding and support.
When they arrived at the residence hall, he walked her to the door, grumbling when it was almost too dark to see the stairs. He reached up and tapped the light panel. When it still didn’t come on, he uttered in irritation, “This is supposed to be motion activated. I didn’t notice it wasn’t working last night. I’ll call maintenance first thing in the morning to have it fixed.”
“It’s been out ever since I’ve been here. I’m afraid they have a lengthy list of repairs, and this isn’t a priority.”
“It should be. Someone could get hurt as dark as it is out here. I’ll send one of my men to help them work through the list.”
“Thank you, Beck.”
He grumbled again. “It’s nothing. When I was home, things like this would still be under warranty.”
She didn’t understand and didn’t ask him to explain. “I meant thank you for taking me with you tonight. I didn’t realize the scope of your work. It is a huge responsibility for one man.” Seeing only the outline of his features in the dark, she was glad for the lack
of light because she was sure her feelings for him were emblazoned on her face.
“I don’t shoulder the burden alone,” he replied, adeptly shrugging off her praise. “The other contractors, business owners, and every hardworking man and woman who stepped up to work on this project has a stake in making it happen.”
“Yes, but they look to you to lead them.”
His gaze shifted to the street, and dark as it was, she had to assume he was thinking rather than seeing. “Things got heavy again tonight,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I thought seeing what lies outside of town would be of interest to you.”
“It was both. Interesting, because I’ve never seen a city from inception, and heavy isn’t bad. It’s truthful, Beck. My people know that all too well. And decisions, like who stays and who goes, who lives and who dies, whether to take action for your people to survive, even though it may be abhorrent or risk fading into extinction, are unimaginably hard. It’s not unlike our princep making the decision to take rather than negotiate when he and his hunting party came across a dozen alien females on this very planet not so long ago.”
His eyes found hers in the dark. “Max Kerr’s difficult decision seems to be working well for you.”
“And for you. At least there is a chance for some to survive. And, the Maker willing, your Earth will hang on until as many as want to come here get that chance.”
“Yes, the Maker willing,” he repeated softly, his fingers trailing over her cheek. “You’re very sympathetic to our plight and easy to talk to.”
“We’ve had our own trials. I, better than anyone, understand. Anytime you need a good listener, I’m here.”
His thumb swept wide and brushed her lips. The light touch stopped her breathing. The next moment, when his head bent near hers, she felt the warmth of his breath on her lips and thought—no, hoped—he intended to kiss her. Adria leaned closer, coming up on her toes just a bit in a subtle invitation that she wanted him, too. But his eyes locked with hers, searching and finding something—she knew this from the slight gathering of his brows. If she hadn’t been gazing at his face, her vision filled with only him, she might have missed it because, more like a twitch then a full frown, it came and went quickly.
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