Gundar

by Loretta Johns

  “It is. Sure, why not?” A thought came to her. “I don’t suppose we could get married there and have my family come?”

  “No, sorry. Brides are not supposed to have contact with anyone off ship until eight weeks after arrival or until they’ve settled if they take longer than eight weeks to do so.”

  “But, you’re letting me call my folks! Is that going to get you into trouble?”

  “Lavorr didn’t like it, but it is to help you settle. Unfinished business preys on the mind, after all. After this, there will be no more calls. Lavorr will have contacted your employer and anyone else who needs to know, such as your school.”

  “For my transcripts,” Darla whispered.

  “Yes. You did wish to study still, did you not? It was what you applied for the scholarship for.”

  “I can still do my course?”

  “You can still study your chosen topic, yes.”

  “When do classes start here?”

  “Whenever you are ready. It will be a one-on-one arrangement unless another bride wishes to join you.”

  Darla found herself feeling out of her depth once more. “Perhaps I should wait until I’m definitely settled,” she said. If that ever happens.

  Chapter Six: Darla

  Darla needed to go to the bathroom, thanks to all the coffee she’d drank back at Lavorr’s office and the large glass of Tang she’d had at home with breakfast. Gundar had showed her the facilities and she was impressed. They were similar to what humans had back on Earth. If you lived in a high tech Japanese technophile’s house, that is. The toilet jutted out of the wall, a section of view screen behind it, running vertically instead of horizontally like back in the living room. Darla did not see a flush mechanism.

  “I set it to English before I came to get you, so the room will respond to you. The toilet will evacuate its contents once you stand up. The shower controls respond to verbal commands, simply choose a setting between one and ten, one being the coolest and ten being the hottest without scalding you, as it’s been preset for human comfort and safety. The sink will come on as soon as you place your hands under it, at the optimal warm temperature for cleansing your hands and face. Simply let it know which cleanser to dispense before placing your hands beneath it. There are soft cloths in the cabinet over there for washing your face and body. The hand dryer is located here in the alcove by the sink. Simply place your hands inside and it will come on. The shower has one built in, it will activate as soon as you tell it you are finished. Oh yes, in addition to choosing the heat setting for the shower, you will need to let it know which cleanser you wish it to use. All are hair and skin friendly, so just one cleanser is needed.”

  It had sounded straight forward enough. Then Gundar had left her alone in the bathroom and shut the door behind him, so Darla had eased down her jeans and underwear and sat on the toilet. Immediately, the sound of birdsong filled the air. She felt a gentle breeze caress her face and she smelled the distinct scents of pine trees and damp earth, as if she were in a pine woodland close to her family home.

  “What the fuck?” she asked aloud.

  “Sorry, I could not process that command,” a pleasant female voice replied.

  Darla startled. “Are you the bathroom?”

  “I am the AI for this designated space,” it confirmed.

  “Okay. Um, can you tell me what’s up with the birds and stuff?”

  “If the relaxation, sound coverage, and air freshener mode selected are not to your liking, you may select another,” came the reply.

  “So it’s to help me relax and cover up the sounds and smells of me going to the toilet,” she muttered to herself.

  “Affirmative.”

  “Nah, this is fine. Just, um, what other choices do I have?”

  “Would you like to experience a few samples from your home world?”

  “No, that’s okay.” Darla emptied her bladder and looked around for toilet paper. “But can you tell me where I might find the toilet paper?”

  “Command: cleanse will obtain your desire,” the AI responded.

  Darla rolled her eyes. “Fine. Cleanse,” she said, mimicking the commanding tone she’d heard Gundar use with the communications software. She jumped as water shot up from the bowl and hit her skin. “Oh shit. It’s also a what you call it, a bidet.” The water rinsed her thoroughly, stopping only to be followed by soft, warm air caressing her damp skin. “And it dries too.” When that, too, stopped, so did the birdsong and scented breeze.

  “Cleansing complete,” the AI announced.

  “Yeah, I figured,” Darla muttered, standing up to put her clothes back to rights. The toilet flushed with a soft whoosh. As Darla turned to face the sink, she noticed the view screen behind the toilet lit up.

  “Analysis in progress,” the AI said.

  “Analysis of what?” Darla asked, perplexed. “My pee?”

  “Checking volume, composition, and scanning for bacteria and viruses,” the AI continued.

  “Okay,” Darla said slowly. “Whatever. Crazy ass shit in here,” she muttered under her breath. She held her hands under the tap, jerking them back when she remembered she had to tell it which soap to use. “Umm, hand soap,” she said commandingly before replacing her hands under the tap.

  “Default hand soap selected,” the AI informed her.

  “Okay, great, thanks,” Darla said, feeling awkward. She washed her hands then placed them in the hand drying alcove.

  “Analysis complete. Your urine concentration indicates that you require more hydration, so please up your water intake. Blood sugars are within normal and you are free of viruses. You have the beginnings of a mild fungal infection. I have notified the dispensary and they will issue you with the appropriate medication.”

  “What kind of fungal infection?

  “Candida albicans, also known as thrush, or yeast. An appropriate medicated wash has been added for your future use for the next twenty-four hours.”

  “Great.” Darla flushed. Well, at least the bathroom caught it before it began itching. And hey, no sex until I’m clear! She exited the bathroom, returning to the living room where she found Gundar waiting in front of the view screen.

  “Your father was still at home, his mode of work transport having broken down before reaching his workplace. A tow truck took him and his vehicle back to your family residence.”

  “Shit! He needs that car to get to work! He’ll lose his job, otherwise, and they’ll lose the house and everything!” Darla panicked.

  “Lavorr informed me that your family consists of your parents and several minor siblings and hat by all indications, financial stability appears unsteady.”

  “If you mean we live paycheck to paycheck, hoping nothing else to pay for comes up, then, yeah.”

  “I see. I will arrange for the vehicle to be repaired, then,” Gundar said. “Ready to speak to your family now?”

  Darla took a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied.

  Gundar spoke aloud once more in Mylos. Lavorr’s visage filled the screen. Gundar addressed him first, in Mylos, and Darla saw Lavorr nod before replying and stepping aside, revealing Darla’s family grouped upon the sectional sofa they’d gotten through Craig’s List.

  Darla’s mother raised her hands to her mouth. “I’d hoped it was all a mistake,” she wailed.

  “It’s okay, Mama, we knew there was a chance. A slim one, like lottery win unlikely, but still, a chance.”

  Her father’s head swiveled between her and her mother. “You both knew about this?”

  “I didn’t get enough money, Daddy, and Angie had gone the day before and gotten her scholarship funds through the program without a hitch, so we thought, hey, why not? Nobody ever gets matched, right?”

  “Only they do,” her father replied, flatly. He regarded his wife, his jaw tight. “So y’all are telling me that y’all up and decided, without consulting me and trying to come up with a reasonable solution together, that the best option
to pay for her college was to offer to whore herself out to aliens?”

  Her mother blanched. “Taylor, it wasn’t like that. We thought she wouldn’t get picked, because no one ever really does, right? She’s the first one from Tennessee, even.”

  “You thought offering to whore herself for the money was a good idea. I don’t care how unlikely you thought it was they’d take her up on the offer, the fact remains you both thought she should offer to spread her goddamned legs for money!” Her father jumped up. Her mother had started weeping and Darla’s brothers and sisters looked scared and uncertain.

  “Sir, no one is prostituting themselves,” Lavorr said smoothly, trying to defuse the situation. “Think of it as a mail order bride service, only matched with their ideal mate psychologically and genetically. The scholarship offering is genuine, a mere incentive to encourage young, intelligent women to seek their ideal husband from amongst the Mylos.”

  Taylor Levin glared at Lavorr. “I can’t do this right now,” he said before storming out. Darla began to sob.

  “He thinks I’m a whore,” she hiccuped.

  “I understand now why this is considered a bad idea. The eight weeks is to also allow the families to come to terms to avoid situations like this.”

  Lavorr nodded. “It is less likely to occur, yes, but it still goes ill, from time to time, due to prejudices and such.”

  “I see,” Gundar said, reaching for Darla and drawing her to him, turning her so that her face nestled against his chest. He rubbed soothing circles upon her back. “Mrs. Levin? That is the correct mode of address?”

  “Yes, I’m Mrs. Levin, but you’re going to marry my daughter, so just call me Mandy, please. Or Mama, if you like.”

  “Mama Levin,” Gundar addressed her, “I assure you that everything is above board. Your daughter will be receiving her education, to commence as soon as she’s settled in and wishes to begin. We will be getting married within the next week, a video of the ceremony will be provided to you. There is usually an eight week period between being matched and being allowed to contact anyone off ship, so after this call, which breached protocols, you won’t hear from Darla until the end of her resettlement period.”

  “I understand,” she whispered, dabbing at her eyes.

  “I hope your husband comes to understand that Darla merely chose to accept a chance of love and happiness while accepting a way to continue her studies. It’s too soon to call what we have love yet, it only being a few hours, but what I know of her tells me that she is an intelligent, passionate woman and I can see that family is important to her.”

  A small boy stood up. “Is it true that you’re Commander of the entire Mylos fleet?” he asked with huge eyes.

  Gundar gave a small chuckle. “That’s Chris, he’s seven,” Darla whispered against his chest.

  “Not the entire fleet, this is a small detachment of a much larger fleet made up of several more detachments across dozens of worlds, plus several outposts. I command the entire detachment that is here though, Chris.”

  “He knows my name,” the boy whispered loudly in amazement. “Wow! Wait until I tell Jamie! My sister is marrying the commander of the Mylos space navy and he’s in charge of all those ships!”

  A girl slightly older than Chris stood up. “I’m Crystal, hi. It’s nice to meet you. Daddy was just mad, he’ll be all right once he sees you’re a nice man and realizes Darla didn’t do anything bad. My friend Lisa at school has an aunt who signed up for the bride registry. Not for college money, she just hoped to find a husband because all the guys she met down here were losers.” Darla’s tears had stopped and Gundar heard her give a muffled giggle. Crystal kept talking. “Darla, you’re gonna miss the new kitten. Mandy’s cat had kittens and Mama and Daddy said we could have one. Oh, maybe you can have one up there? I bet Mandy would let you have one!”

  “A kitten?” Gundar asked. “This is a pet of some kind, yes?”

  Lavorr spoke up. “It is, yes. A small furry, carnivorous quadruped with soft fur. It makes a pleasing rumbling sound when pleased and toilets inside a box filled with an absorbent material.”

  Gundar glanced down at his bride. “You like these kittens?”

  “Yeah, why, are we allowed to have one?” Darla asked in surprise.

  “Small pets are permitted, yes, though they must be unable to reproduce,” Gundar answered.

  “They’ll be too young to neuter,” Mama Levin broke in. “They’re only eight weeks old. It’s safer to do it at five to six months old.”

  “We will take one of these kittens and return it when it is old enough to safely go through the procedure,” Gundar decided. “Lavorr, please arrange for the animal’s acquisition and delivery, as well as any supplies it may require. As for its toileting needs, see if they have something close to our standards. I would prefer to not smell its excrement.”

  “Of course, Commander.”

  Gundar leaned his face down and whispered into her hair. “It’s time to say your good byes for now.” He kissed her lightly. Darla sniffed and straightened, turning herself around once composed.

  “I’ll talk to you guys again in a few weeks. Thanks for letting us know about the kitten, Crystal. I’m sure it’ll remind me of you and be good company. You guys listen to Mama and be good, okay?”

  “Your daddy will come around,” her mother told her tearfully.

  “I hope so,” Darla replied, tears running down her cheek once more.

  “No, don’t cry, sugar,” her mother said, tears also coursing down her cheeks. Crystal began crying too. The other children gazed down at the floor.

  “Bye,” Crystal said. The other children echoed her.

  “Talk to you later,” Mama Levin said.

  “Okay, later, Mama.”

  “Chakresh.” Gundar ended the communication. “I should not have broken protocol. I am sorry you were hurt.”

  “I’m not sorry you did. I would have been angry, right through our wedding even, resenting you not giving me the chance to say good bye and all. Besides, we’re getting a kitten now. If we hadn’t of called, we’d not be getting a fur baby. I wonder what it’ll look like.”

  “You have not seen a kitten before?”

  “They come in different colors and with different pattern markings,” Darla laughed.

  “And this fur baby. It is an endearment?”

  “Yeah. It means the cat will be a family member, not just owned.”

  “Loved and cared for, as if a helpless child.”

  “Sort of, yeah.”

  Gundar nodded. “So it should be. It will rely on its care and wellbeing. As for what it will look like, we shall know shortly. Lavorr will have it sent up as soon as he has it and everything it needs. He’ll be attending to that as soon as he leaves your family home, after he arranges for the tow truck to return and take your father’s vehicle for restoration.”

  “Restoration?”

  “Yes, it must be made to run as new, to ensure your father has no further troubles. His job will not be at risk anymore.”

  “But what if that’s super expensive?”

  “If it is not economically viable, then Lavorr will have a new vehicle of similar specifications delivered before morning.”

  Darla stared at him. “Why would you do that? After what he said, especially. He practically accused you guys of being interstellar pimps.”