“Unpleasantries,” Gundar reiterated. Were these people so greedy that they’d do battle over clothing and household sundries? “Now, my mate has ordered some items that are due to be shipped today, all from the moderate range. Please ensure they reach here in a timely manner. Anyone else who has ordered from those ranges should also have their orders filled. All other orders are to be cancelled and an appropriate substitution submitted to Brannix. If he approves of the substitution, we shall offer it to the persons who placed the orders. A new catalogue should be ready by close of day tomorrow, along with prices.”
“Tomorrow!” the woman blustered.
“Is there a problem? If so, we can reconsider how we obtain our goods,” Gundar replied, arms crossed against his chest.
Brannix rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “We could always have our AIs order directly via their internet and have them delivered to our shuttle depot as these do.”
Gundar grinned wolfishly. “I think that is a great idea, Brannix. It will add variety and offer a bit of competition. Just make sure that goods priced over what we determine is average are not let through without approval. The approval, of course, being reliant on a very good explanation as to why they must have that item and not something else.”
“I will see that it is done. It should be in place by tomorrow midday at the latest. It should not be a difficult task for Xeranos and the other AI to set up.”
“Excellent. Now, I see we roused you people out of bed,” Gundar sneered. “I will have you escorted to the mess hall for your morning meal, then you will be taken to your temporary quarters.”
“Wait, what?” the woman demanded. “I can’t remain here, I have kids!”
“Did you not ensure they were cared for before leaving? Do they not have a caretaker for when you are at work?” he asked her, eyebrows raised.
“Well, yes,” she blustered. “But the nanny will be expecting me to return home.”
“I can’t stay here either. I have other business to attend to!” The red-faced, bald man shouted. Gundar raised an eyebrow at the man and moved a hand to his hip where a dagger hung on his belt. He fingered the dagger idly. The man eyed his hand nervously, swallowed, and said nothing further. The younger man wisely said nothing.
“Give your escort the names and contact information of those we should notify. We will contact them on your behalf so that arrangements can be made. You will remain here until your work is complete. Get it done, and you can leave tomorrow. Take longer, and you will be enjoying our hospitality for longer. That is all.” Gundar turned to the head of the security detail. “See that they are fed at the mess hall and get their contact information. See to it that their children and families are taken care of and any staff properly notified of their stay.”
The security officer nodded in acknowledgement. “Will their quarters assignments be sent to my kunnarskyn?”
“No. They are guilty of plundering our resources through devious means, so should be taken to more appropriate accommodations. Make sure they are kept on separate wings and have access only to their catalogue database.”
The security officer gave a grim nod. “It shall be so!”
Gundar turned to leave, Brannix still at his heels.
“Well, I think that went well.”
“I think the tantrums they threw in there will be mild compared to the ones they throw when they realize you’ve sent them to the brig.”
“Probably so. If they wish to waste their time sulking, they will be here for longer.”
Brannix gave a low chuckle. “Indeed, sir. I best return to my other duties so that I may get started on these new ones as well." Gundar gave a curt nod and continued on his way to the bridge. He ignored the hubbub that spilled into the hallway behind him as security brought the three humans out.
Chapter Fifteen: Darla
Darla awoke, startled to discover that Gundar had already left the bed. She used the bathroom, then wandered out into the main rooms.
“Xero, has Gundar left for work already?”
“Gundar is on duty. If needed, he is on the bridge.”
Darla waved her hand. “No, no, I was just making sure. What time is it anyway?”
“Ship’s time has been formatted to follow a twenty-four-hour clock. Current ship’s time is 1130 hours.”
“Past time for coffee then.”
“Would you care for another caramel macchiato?”
“Oh, yes, please.” Darla wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a yogurt from the chiller. Passing the replicator unit on her way to get a spoon, she noticed her coffee waiting. She picked it up. The art was a cat this time. “So cute!” She took a sip. “Nectar of the gods,” she said, her eyes rolling up into her head in appreciation. Getting her spoon, she took her breakfast to the bar. “Xero, we gotta lot of work ahead of us. I need a wedding dress, a cake, and all that. I also need to figure out who to invite, seeing as my friends and family can’t come, and what to do about the wedding dinner. Oh, and flowers, the officiant, all that.”
“Bookmarking cake styles, wedding dresses, and comparing guest lists from previous fleet Bride weddings.”
“Thank you, Xero. Can you pop them up onto the main view screen for me?”. Darla finished her yogurt and took her coffee into the living room. “Wow, these are some nice cakes. How much time do we need to order one?”
“A cake can be replicated within minutes, including any decorations pre-programmed into my database.”
“Do you have any of these toppers?”
“They can be analyzed and programmed, as can any design you come up with. Lead time for design: two days.”
“Wow, okay. Oh my goodness, so many dresses too.” The door to their quarters chimed. “I wonder who that could be. Oh, maybe it’s my clothes. Shit, I’m not even dressed yet. Just a minute!” she yelled at the door.
“I will tell them you will be there shortly,” Xero announced.
“Thanks, I just wanna throw my clothes on, even though all I have is what I wore yesterday.” She dashed into their bedroom.
“You will find yesterday’s clothes hanging in the fresher unit in the bathroom,” Xero informed her. Darla ran into the bathroom.
“Where’s the fresher unit? I need my clothes!”
“Fresher unit open,” the bathroom AI said, helpfully. Darla turned to see a small closet had opened. It was lined with some sort of metal that had holes spaced evenly about the insides.
“This is the washer?”
“The fresher cleans the clothing,” the AI confirmed.
“Awesome,” Darla said, already changing into her clothes. Once done, she finger combed her hair as she ran to the door. “Sorry, I only just got up,” she apologized. She was startled to see a young woman her age standing on the other side of the door along with a man who appeared to be a bit older. “Um, hi.”
The young woman had shoulder length brown hair with bangs and large brown eyes. Her skin was a lovely peaches and cream complexion. She was dressed in a pair of acid washed skinny jeans and flowing red and white kimono sleeved top. Strappy flat sandals completed her look. The man was dressed in skinny black jeans and navy blue polo that brought out the blue of his eyes and set off his perfectly shag cut dirty blonde hair. Black engineer style ankle boots graced his feet. Darla immediately felt dowdy.
“Hi,” the young woman replied brightly. “I’m Amy and this is Steven. We’re the welcome wagon!” Amy brushed past her to enter their quarters.
“Oh, come on in,” Darla said belatedly, turning to follow. Steven trailed behind her.
“Don’t mind Amy,” he said. “She’s just nosy.”
“Oh, it’s lovely. The commander has good taste. Did you do the windows yourself? Look, Steven. I have so got to do that when I get home!”
“Uh, yeah, I did. And he does. I just had to order some throw pillows and stuff from ship’s stores. They were surprised when I ordered the curtains and rods. Seems no one else had ever asked for any and they were sat
there, gathering dust.”
“Well, I bet you started a trend! I never would have thought of it!” Amy exclaimed.
“It never occurred to me to look on the lists for window treatments,” Steven said.
“Me neither!” Amy said.
“Would either of you like some coffee?”
“Ohhh, yes, please,” Amy replied. “I’d like an Americano.”
“I’d like vanilla latte, if I may.”
“Xero? Could you replicate the requested beverages? And another caramel macchiato for me?”
“Processing,” Xero announced. “Ready,” it said a moment later.
Darla went to the kitchen. Taking the tray Gundar had used the night before, she loaded up the three cups and saucers, tickled to find that Xero had placed a stylized letter to indicate the type of drink and worked it into the latte art. A small biscotti sat next to each cup on the saucer as well.
“Thank you, Xero!”
“Aww, you talk to your ship’s Ai like that too? Me too! They feel so alive, don’t you think?”
“I am sentient,” Xero confirmed. “And it was my pleasure, Darla.”
“I’m still getting used to them," Steven said. “Been a year and I’m still feeling a bit freaked, thinking about Hal 2000 and all that.”
Amy laughed. “You are such a goof!”
Darla sat the tray down onto the coffee table. “‘A’ must be for Americano, ‘v’ for vanilla, and ‘c’ for caramel,” she said, placing each cup in front of its intended recipient.
“Oh look, Steven, her AI does those fancy pictures! I just love this flower! It’s almost to pretty to drink.”
“Mmhmm,” he said, looking at his friend indulgently.
“So, you’re the welcome wagon, huh? I thought I was the only human onboard,” Darla said.
Steven sat his cup down. “Oh, honey, you are. We’re from The Dreaming Tree, one of the family ships. We came on over to meet you.”
“We just couldn’t leave you here all on your lonesome, not having anybody to talk to that was human and who knew what it feels like,” Amy said, turning soulful eyes towards Darla. “I’m originally from Ft. Worth, Texas, and Steven here is from Joplin, Missouri. My husband works in environmental systems. The air purifiers and all that.”
“And my man works for security,” Steven said proudly.
“I didn’t know they recruited male brides, I mean, grooms,” Darla said, reddening.
Steven laughed. “I knew what you meant, and no, they don’t. I came up a few times to help measure up for the rooms for furniture. Baby cribs, king sized beds, sofas. If it can’t get down the corridor or through the door, it ain’t gonna fit, right? Plus, the room might be too small for everything a person might wish to order. So, I came up and measured and tried out configurations for my boss, who them selected items, included suggested groupings, that went onto the catalogue. That’s how I met Hathor. He wasn’t looking for a bride so thought he’d go unmatched. Captain Kilnar and Commander Gundar approved our request to join, however. So, happy ever afters for us, too!”
Amy and Darla smiled. “That’s so romantic! He crossed the stars to help others find love and found his own! That’s, like, Fate!” Darla said.
“Yes, I keep telling him that, we must be soul mates. In fact, before they approved us, they had the AI run a compatibility test and we came up a match. The Commander said he would look at extending the registry to include males. So far, no one else has asked. The other guys we know seem to have hooked up with each other already, if you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Darla laughed. “So, you worked for a furniture distributor?”
“I did. He picks the furniture from Ikea, Sears, and so on and puts it on the database.”
“I had noticed all the furniture seemed reasonable. The clothes though, wow, talk about expensive. I had to dig through to find a pair of Wranglers.”
“I know what you mean. I always feel bad ordering a new outfit because it’s all expensive designer wear. Back home, I’d only get something like that for a really special occasion or as a birthday or Christmas gift,” Amy agreed.
“I don’t mind so much, but some of the brands are ridiculous. I’d be happy enough in less expensive wear as long as I looked good,” Steven said.
“I told Gundar about it and he was quite upset. He said he was going to talk to their distributors. I told him some of the cookware and other stuff was expensive too.”
“He didn’t know?” Steven asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“No, they trusted the distributors to comply when they asked them to provide what the average human would wear, from a first world country.”
“Boy, did they get taken for a ride then,” Amy said. “Most folks I know shop at GAP, Old Navy, Target, and maybe Wal-Mart for clothes and stuff.”
“Me too,” Darla said.
Steven stood up and walked to the main view screen where an array of dresses were still on display. “You planning your wedding?”
“Yeah, seeing as it’s only a week away I figured I better hop to it. Feels kind of strange not to have my family and friends there. And no bridesmaids or anything.”
“I’d be one, if you like!” Amy squealed. “I know we just met, but...”
Darla had felt an immediate liking to the effervescent Amy so had no qualms interrupting her. “Really? I’d love to have you! Steven, would you act as the usher, to get people to their seats?”
Steven grinned. “I always loved a good party! Sure, why not! Hey, if you order a dress pattern instead, your AI can scan it and replicate you a dress in the fabric of your choice, you know.”
“Really? Xero, what would I need to do?”
“Simply purchase a commercial pattern and have ship’s stores scan it into my database, indicating the size markings to be followed. Select your fabric and embellishments, and replication will be possible. Lead time from purchase to scan: two days. Time from scan, fabric and embellishment selection, and replication, one hour.”
“Oh wow, thank you! This is looking so much more doable now! Oh, Xero, how much additional time if I also upload a bridesmaid dress and a suit?”
“An additional two hours for replication completion,” came the reply.
“Yes!” Darla shouted as she fist pumped the air.
“Let’s look at some sewing patterns,” Amy grinned and said.
Chapter Sixteen: Gundar
Gundar had enjoyed telling off the human businesspersons immensely. He sat on the bridge, a feeling of deep satisfaction deep in his bones. He replayed the stupefied expressions on their faces over and over. They had clearly not expected him to understand about the doohickeys and thingies, nor that they had sourced him the most lavish and expensive for ordinary, everyday use. He hoped they enjoyed their less than lavish quarters while they rectified their ill-advised offerings. They certainly would have no distractions to keep them from completing their task.
He left the bridge with a spring in his step. He couldn’t wait to tell Darla of his efforts. His steps slowed. Brannix was waiting for him by the elevator.
“Hello, Commander. I wished to give you an update in person. Our guests have spent most of the day complaining, so I doubt they have gotten much done. I, on the other hand, have had Xeranos contact the other AIs who polled the human brides. They gave me a list of retail establishments in Europe, Asia, and the Americas that they frequented. Xeranos cross-referenced the names of those stores with catalogues and sales fliers on their internet and came up with a list of suggested goods and prices.”
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