Ashley let out a hard moan, pushing her hips up until I ground mine back into hers and felt her walls tighten down along my member. She pulls all of me down to her chest as she threw her head back, crying out in pleasure. My mouth released a thick groan against her soft flesh. I felt my entire body scream as my cock filled her insides to the brink with a final thrust. It spread across every fabric of thought, completely immersing me in nothing but her.
The feeling left me breathless as I could feel myself finish inside her, warm and so fucking tight.
The two of us were left panting, breathless of all our energy. One more look at her and I finally withdrew, falling back down to my side. I closed my eyes and felt her move beside me, turning on her side. With our silence exchanged between us, I didn’t waste time in pulling her close to my chest where we both knew, after all this time, she always belonged.
Chapter 12
Ashley
I woke up to the sun creeping in Blackjack’s bedroom window. My arm was sprawled across the edge of the bed, fingers reaching out to the new day, and yet I wasn’t prepared for what would come next. I hadn’t expected any of yesterday’s prior events to occur. I wasn’t naive, I knew we would deal with the Bears somehow. I just never expected for it to come down to this, to somehow lead me into bed with the man I always wanted.
My history with Blackjack was complicated at best. We made mistakes. I made a big mistake, that pushed him over the edge and the next thing I knew he was off serving our country. Back then I didn’t understand it, I felt betrayed, I felt as if I wasn’t good enough, like I was nothing. After the years have passed I know that wasn’t the case. I was sixteen at the time, Blackjack was well over sixteen. I had to think about what it would have looked like for him to be with me, a minor, sure, but also Fist’s daughter. My Dad might’ve killed him. Still, back then he and I…well, we weren’t together, but we were something.
One emotional night I ran straight into his arms. My friend Miranda had just killed herself. No one understood why, at least not until her parents found a sealed note with my name on it.
Within the note I had found out she’d just been raped by one of the Bears she was dating at the time, and he forced himself on her. I ran to Blackjack - the only man I could trust. I knew that Miranda wanted me to do something about it, so I did what I needed to – I told the man I loved, the man that I knew would kill for me. Somehow during my emotional trauma, I did something I never dared to before, I kissed him. I remember that kiss like it was yesterday – I remember how his breathing halted for a second, how he didn’t do a damn thing until he ravaged me like I always wanted him to, that night everything changed.
He’d done what I needed him to do and told me the hide had been skinned off that Bear, then the next thing I knew he was gone – vanished, Dex was left in the care of the club and I was alone. I didn’t see Blackjack again until I came back home, beaten and bruised.
So much had happened over the years, it’s just funny to me where we both ended up. Back with each other. It may not have been how I thought it would have but, nonetheless, we’re right here.
I turned over as I took a deep breath before looking at Blackjack’s slumbering face. I had to admit it. Waking up to this man was pure sugar in any bitter coffee. I’d bite my bottom lip as my hand came forward, stroking up along the length of his arm before reaching just behind his ear to tuck in a stray curl of hair.
The way his expression fell so innocently into the pillows made me smile. He’d nuzzle his nose into the sheets absentmindedly but wouldn’t even wake up. I blushed at the view as it made my heart melt even more. A little sigh left me, and I could’ve sworn this was all just a dream waiting to be spoiled by reality.
No, this was real. Every beautiful and chaotic part about it. Here I was, curled up in his bed like it was seventh heaven. He was everything I’d ever wanted when I was pining over him in my high school years and truthfully, he still is.
It’d been only a couple of months since we started talking again and really began this close connection. Even then, some of those weeks were spent staying away rather than figuring things out. If this guy was supposed to be the man I’d spend my entire life with, I’d have to set some ground rules about transparency.
It drove me up the wall trying to figure out what was going through this man’s head and whether he saw me as desirable or desperate. That time spent away from each other almost destroyed any kind of hope left for us in the bottom of my heart.
I loved a good mystery, sure––but a man that wasn’t true to his feelings was another story. Harry had spent the entire years of our marriage lying to my face and that was a type of scar that wouldn’t fade so easily.
I knew deep down that Blackjack was far from Harry, but it would take time for me to trust him with my heart. I could trust the man, but my heart was another matter.
There were still some pieces of me that went missing after Harry scrambled my world apart. The risk I took to run away from that marriage was the first crack to breaking my mold. I never looked back or regretted leaving that man’s side.
Even if this was an arranged relationship to keep the Bears off our backs, I did feel comfortable knowing that I was being set up with the man that saved my life. Looking at him now pushed the stress away from the back of my head and filled my heart up with some sort of longing.
How is it possible to miss someone when they’re laying right beside you?
There was so much to talk about last night, yet we put it on hold the second we set the chains free from our hearts. Our desires left me breathless and content with everything he’d given me, but I wasn’t sure with what I could’ve possibly provided him. In this union, was it lust or love that would cement us together?
Are the two of us just lovers that are trying to answer, “what if’s” or are we really starting to plan for a future together.
As my brewing thoughts were enough to keep me from going back to sleep, I saw Blackjack start to stir before me. His eyelids clenched for a moment, scrunching up his nose as he took a slow inhale of the new morning air. I watched him as his body turned on its back and his broad chest slowly came down with a long sigh.
The man’s arm rose up from his side and greeted him with his fingers through his hair. My teeth released my bottom lip as I shifted forward from my spot to move in closer to him. His fingers glided along his forehead, traveling all the way down to rest at the bridge of his nose.
I reached out to touch his cheek and he flinched automatically before snatching my hand at his face. My breath was stuck to my throat as he felt along my fingers, refusing to open his eyes for even a moment. The way he persisted along my wrist with that rough hand of his made me smile through his little movement.
Up along my arm he went, circling the inside of my wrist with his thumb before drawing that smooth touch throughout my arm until he found my shoulder and pushed me onto my back. I let out a laugh as he rose up from the bedside to brood over my body with those smoldering eyes.
“You should be asleep,” he mutters huskily before moving down to my neck.
I smile as his mouth presses kisses to my throat. “I couldn’t sleep.”
He withdrew himself back to look at me, his big brown eyes growing serious. “Do you regret last night?”
In just one second my playful expression changed to disbelief.
“No. I’m just not looking forward to getting stabbed repeatedly today.”
He rolled his eyes at my response before kissing my forehead. “You’ll be fine.” his voice assures me, “I’ll be with you.”
The bed moved underneath me as he shuffled out from the covers to use the bathroom. I pulled myself up to the bed frame, watching the door shut behind him with a click. I rooted my arms to the mattress before swinging my legs across the edge. My eyes traveled his floors to look for any discarded pants that would make up my only change of clothes for today. Perhaps it would be a good idea to head back home before walking into the cl
ubhouse looking like a backwoods ho.
Before I could even get up to walk out of the room, Blackjack had already opened the door to find me putting on a shirt.
“Going somewhere so early?” He cocks a brow with a smirk.
“We have an appointment, don’t we?”
Blackjack nods, “You’re correct.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. “Well, shouldn’t I get some clothes before someone puts two and two together?”
He shrugs and leans down to the bed, pulling his covers back up to the headboard. “Shouldn’t matter.”
“Blackjack,” I mutter lowly.
“Ashley,” he mimics just as low, giving me a playful glance from the bed. “Even before we step into that clubhouse, people are already going to know you’re mine.”
“Yeah, but,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.
“But’ nothing, Monroe.” He stands back up and starts his walk around the bed, “This isn’t a one-night stand to me.”
“Neither is it to me,” I reflect at him, staying rooted to my ground.
With every step he took closer to me, his expression grew more serious until he finally stops before me.
“Then you should know I’m not talking out of my ass when I say I want to be with you.”
“I know,” I restate simply.
“No, you don’t,” He shakes his head with a smile, taking my shoulders softly. “You don’t know how much I mean it when I say I’ll always be here to protect you. You don’t even realize how crazy you make me feel. You have no fuckin’ idea how much you’ve always driven me mad Ash. Fuck, why do you think I left? When you kissed me that day I knew that there was no way I’d be able to stay away from you. I wasn’t gonna be a predator, so I left. You make me fuckin’ crazy.”
It all made sense in his one comment to me. He didn’t leave because he didn’t care, he left because he didn’t want anyone viewing him as a predator. Yeah, I was sixteen, but I wasn’t a child. Sure, there’s an argument to go with that, but hearing why he left helped me in this moment. His reasoning behind it helped heal part of my heart that hurt from all those years ago. I bit my bottom lip and finally looked up into his stare, feeling those intense brown eyes completely draw me closer to him.
“You never told me that. Not once,” I tell him, searching his brown eyes.
“Nope. Never did. I should’ve after you came home, but shit, Monroe. That isn’t easy. You think it’s easy for me to explain everything. It’s not easy for me.” His hand slides up from my shoulder to take my chin tenderly. Just that very gesture made me close my eyes as I was already lost in that very touch. I could feel him leaning down to my face, his warm breath brushing across my little nose. Funny, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling when I noticed that minty scent of toothpaste.
“What are you smiling at?” He mutters against my lips.
“You,” I chuckle, leaning back for a moment to see his confused expression.
“Can you be a little more specific?”
“You left me in bed,” I started, walking my little fingers up to his chest to take his jaw in my palm, “because you’re conscious of your morning breath?”
He tilts his head back, grinning like a wolf. “That’s the first thing you notice when a man tries to kiss you, Monroe?”
“I just thought it was awfully cute,” I giggle at him.
“Yeah, we’ll see how cute you are when you go under the needle.”
“Killjoy!” I whack his chest and push past his arms.
The two of us got ready for the rest of the morning. There wasn’t any time for breakfast but there was plenty of toothbrushes to spare while I made myself presentable. When I joked with Blackjack as to whether he wanted to be a dentist before going into the medical field, his remark was that he’d never gotten a cavity in his life and he wasn’t going to let Dex be the exception. As if the tattoo wasn’t stressing enough, that was another thing I didn’t think of before agreeing to this arrangement. Would his son be alright with these arrangements? The boy didn’t even know me that much apart from when I saw him at the clubhouse. Sure, he was old enough to understand but would he accept me into this family?
Before I could think too hard into it, Blackjack had tossed my pants at me just as I finished brushing. I threw him a glare back to which he chuckled and insisted I hurry up before the tattoo artist jilts us and leaves.
After last night, my legs were cramping up so much that I felt like a newborn fawn walking out on his driveway. After the first round we had rounds three, four, five, and well, it went up until I stopped counting at eleven.
A part of me wanted to curl back up into his bed with an aspirin but the second he got on his bike, I was already climbing on behind him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of teasing me for being a little sore.
***
Surprisingly, there was already a line of bikes parked outside the club when we came rolling in. I winced at the idea that I’d be getting an audience out of this branding tradition. Blackjack slowly drove up to the curb at the edge, being careful to mind the space between him and the other bikes. He finally settles his feet down with the kickstand below him and the low hum of his bike is cut the second he keys the ignition off.
With his hands on his thighs, he finally leans back to stretch his spine after a long morning. I picked myself up with my hands at his shoulder, pulling my leg over the bike’s opposite side so I could jump down to my feet. He withdrew his key from the ignition and shoves it down the back of his pants before joining me to the sidewalk.
“You ready?” Blackjack gives me a look.
I returned his glance with a smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He nods before taking my hand in his. “Let’s do this.”
The two of us walked our way to the club without a breath of regret. Whatever the boys had ready for us, we weren’t backing down at this rate. I had every muscle in me determined to face this like a real Monroe.
When we entered the clubhouse, it was dimly lit with the window shutters blocking out even the faintest of light. You would think a tattoo artist would need as much light as possible to capture the most detail in their projects. At the bar Zane, Kade, Dixon, Tank, Booger, and even Zoro. As soon as they spotted us, they went straight to hooting.
“Well, look at that,” Kade whistled to the both of us. “Get in here, ladies. Don’t be shy!”
“We don’t bite, much,” Dixon nudges my brother with a knowing smile.
I crossed my arms over my chest with a scoff. “Shouldn’t you be with your lady, Dixon?”
The man took his belt in his hands, leaning back into the bar with an undeniably cocky smirk, “I’d be with her sooner had you guys arrived earlier.”
“Don’t tell me he left,” Blackjack curses as he places a hand at the small of my back.
“Who left?” A voice came up behind the men.
At last, we noticed the figure sitting at the bar. My eyes went wide with shock as the familiar face stepped out into the faint ceiling light with his hollowed expression as remarkable as death itself.
“Dean, is that you?” I laugh in disbelief. “My God.”
Dean was one of the most self-serving tattoo artists that ever lived in Montana. He was the Picasso of Dixie that brought Renaissance to the Western hemisphere. Without a doubt, he could convince any person––man or woman––to put their skin under his needle. The man was so smooth that he could sell anything to anyone!
“What’s your poison, Ashley-dear?” The man flashes me a savvy grin while swirling a blend of whiskey behind the bar.
“Dean, with all due respect, I am not drinking while I’m in your chair.” I smile pleasantly before taking a seat at the bar with Blackjack.
Oh, honey,” he shakes his head before taking out his ink gun from behind the counter. “You’re going to need it if you think I’ve forgotten how dizzy you get from getting your vaccine shots.”
“Pour her some tequila, boys,” Blackjack re
quested of my brothers before taking the whiskey out of Dean’s hands. “And no drinking for you while you’re on the job.”
Dean gave Blackjack a haughty look of pride before shaking his finger at him.
“Even a doctor needs a drink to keep his hand steady.”
“You’re no doctor, Dean, and I’m sure as hell not your patient if you start drinking on me,” I retort coolly.
“I swear it’s like you two are married already.” He shakes his head. “Bunch of sticks in the mud.”
Kade passes me a shot of patron as we wait for Dean to set up the lights. To the right of the bar was a set of industrial stand-up lights that he had set up for the occasion. Each light was pivoted to point at the dead center of where he intended to work. Between the lights, he eventually pulled up a chair to which I assumed Blackjack and I were expected to sit in.
He had brought his cabinet on wheels from work where he carried tubes of ink, a selection of needles, and other instruments I’d rather not think too hard about. There were cords running everywhere between the chairs and tables as they all stemmed to the lights and tattoo gun in his hand.
When he was finished setting up the booth, he pulled a smock of an apron out from his cabinet and pulled it along his waist before tying it behind him. He slapped on his gloves with a smack to his wrists, more than ready to start. The entire scene looked like something from a Dr. Frankenstein movie.
“Now, then,” Dean drawls slowly, “Who’s going to be first?”
Before Blackjack could even think to offer himself up, I downed my shot quickly and slammed its glass bottom to the table. It certainly raised everyone’s attention when they saw me determined from the get go. I pulled myself off the bar and stepped into the ring.
“I’ll go.”
Dean’s crooked smile intensified just at the whiff of my courage. “Anything for you, Ashley.”
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