She laughs, cocking her head back. “Her being dead will do all of us a favor, you should really just let her die. It’s what she wanted after all.”
I’m taken aback. How would Verna know what Kitten wants.
“I’ll do a lot of shit, but let’s make one thing clear, letting her die isn’t going to be one of them.”
I walk past her, opening the door to the front of the club, the last thing I hear as I leave is “Good luck. You’re going to need it.” Don’t I know it. This was never part of the plan. Shit.
I put her in the passenger seat of my SUV, buckle her up, and then we’re on the way to the hospital.
No way in hell am I letting her die.
Chapter 4
It will never be perfect. Make it work.
-Life
Damon
I hate hospitals, for as long as I could remember, I have hated their smell. The sterilized, clean smell of nothingness. It doesn’t smell like anything, besides one thing – death.
If it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t catch me dead in a hospital. Whenever I’m sick, I wait it out, or have some underqualified brother patch me up back at the club. Of course, the only time I’ve ever been in hospitals is when someone was dying. Even as a child I was never in one, not even when my mother had my brothers and sisters. I guess, in a way, that has to do with why I don’t like being here, they make me fucking nervous. Always have and always will.
I stand next to Kitten’s bedside as the doctor comes in, demanding to know what she took. I know exactly what’s going to happen, shit, we’ve found our own ways of making sure no one overdoses. “What was it?” He’s privileged, I assume he even thinks we’re the lowest of the low, and he’s not far from being wrong.
“Kitten,” I speak to her, at this point she’s awake. She begged me not to bring her in when I parked the car out in the lot. She said she was nauseous and tired, two of the exact things that’ll happen when you take an opiate. I know what she did, even if she won’t admit it. There were so many damn pills in that bag. She can sit here and try to fool me as much as she wants. At the end of the day, we both know what she did.
She won’t look at me or even the doctor.
“Vicodin. It was Vicodin,” I tell him, and he takes one look at Kitten and leaves the room. I imagine at this point he’s thinking of his game plan, how they’ll stop the damage from spreading.
“How long has it been since you’ve taken them?” I ask her, settling myself onto the old chair next to her side.
She turns to look at me, rolling her eyes and takes in a deep breath before she speaks. “I don’t know. A couple of hours, maybe.”
A couple of hours. She was lucky I found her when I did, that it wasn’t late the next morning. I saved her life, and she’s acting like an ungrateful little bitch. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?” she hisses, glaring at me like I’m her worst enemy. I’m honestly surprised at her strength. She’s doped the hell up and fighting me like she hasn’t just taken all those pills.
“I asked what the fuck is wrong with you. Why would you try to kill yourself?”
I watch as she takes in a deep breath, as she lets the air pass her lips, she finally answers me “What is the point in living?”
“You have a lot to live for, Kitten. You just don’t open your fucking eyes and see what’s right in front of you. There are endless opportunities to get out of there, you just don’t take them.” Opportunities with me, that is what I should have said. I would do a lot for this girl. I don’t understand it, why I just want to swoop in and save her, but I do. If it came down to it, my job or her life, I know what I’d chose. And it wouldn’t be for the benefit of my father or my family.
“Then where would I go? Hmm? He found me once, he’s bound to find me again and bring me back to this, to all of it. There is no safe place. Don’t you understand? I am trapped here. He…He took everything.” I listen to her closely, finding out more about her in this one conversation then I have the entire time we’re here.
Rage took her. Her comments rise so many questions in my mind. I may have some, but what I don’t have is all of them. I will have my answers, they may not come today; but they will.
“I can find a place for you,” I tell her, now putting myself out there a little more than I should. “My family can protect you.”
“My own family couldn’t even protect me, Trig. I doubt yours has the capability to do so.” Internally I squirm at her calling me Trig, it’s not my name. It’s what I told them to call me. Trig is my fucking cover story. I just wish that I could tell her my real name.
From the corner of my eye I can see the doctor heading towards us, he swoops in the room quickly and looks directly at Kitten. “I’m pretty sure you can tell that you’re not going to die today, and certainly not in my ER. So, here’s your options. You can either A, drink all of this yourself or B, I can have your friend help me hold you down as I shove a tube down your throat and force it into your stomach. Which is it, Missy?” He holds up the cup with the straw and with another hand raises a tube.
Kitten looks over to me, “You couldn’t just let me die in peace, could you?”
“She’ll take the cup. I’ll let you know if we need the tube,” I tell the doctor, and he hands her the Styrofoam cup, and she begins drinking the black liquid through the straw. He’s giving her activated charcoal, it helps stop the toxins from harming her body any further. I only know this because my mother works with addicts. She’s told me a lot of shit.
He nods, watching her for a moment and then leaves the room quickly.
She grumbles something lowly.
“What was that?” I ask her.
She takes the straw from her mouth, scowls at me and speaks. “I fucking hate you.”
“You’ll get over it. I saved your life, and I’m about to give you one.”
“What in the hell are you even talking about?”
“You said he took you. Well, Kitten, I’m about to take you back to wherever the bastard took you from. You’re welcome.” I add a smirk on at the end of what I’m telling her. She looks utterly shocked, as if she can’t believe what I’m telling her.
I watch for a few minutes as she finishes drinking the black liquid, it’s then, and only then that she speaks.
“I just wanted to die. That’s all I wanted, and you just had to swoop in and save me when I never asked for it.” A tear slides from her eye, slowly rolling down her cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb, bringing myself closer to her until our faces are inches away from one another.
“How in the hell could I just let a precious little thing like you go?”
“You can’t, because I’m still fucking here, asshole.”
“Glad we’re on the same page. You’d better rest up, we’re not going back to the clubhouse.”
My plan has gone completely sideways. There isn’t even anything left of a plan anymore. She needs me, even if she doesn’t admit it.
She fucking needs me.
I’ll be damned if I’m not here for her.
I made a promise to someone, and I don’t plan on breaking it.
Chapter 5
Sometimes when I say, “I’m okay.” I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, “I know you’re not.” -Curiano.com
Kat
I thought he was kidding. It turns out the man is just as much stubborn as he is stupid. He waited until the doctor gave him the all clear that I was good to go. Part of me thought that he was joking, that he wasn’t actually going to take me somewhere else, but oh, how I was wrong. He drove us past the clubhouse and out onto the interstate. We headed north, and I knew that Trig didn’t know where I was from. How could he?
“He’s going to kill you,” I tell him.
“Not if I kill him first.” He says it so calmly, as if nothing else matters. He’s not acting like a brother in the club. Instead, he’s being nothing but a selfish bastard right now. It was selfish of
him to save me, to entrap me in a life that I wanted to be over. It’s selfish that I’m in this car with him driving north up into the unknown.
“You talk a big game. We both know he’ll snap you into bits. He’s got people everywhere, all over the states. In that empty head of yours you know that there is nowhere you can hide me.”
“You know, you might be right, but you’re forgetting one thing, Kitten.”
“Don’t call me that,” I whisper, glancing out the window and looking onto the flat landscape we’re driving through. The farmers have recently cut their crop, before we know it, they’ll be planting seeds and doing it all over again.
“What should I call you?”
It takes me a moment, maybe even a shred of time longer to answer him. In reality, it shouldn’t take this long at all. I just haven’t said my name out loud for years. Honestly, I’m surprised that I hadn’t forgotten it. “Kathryn. My name is Kathryn.”
Years. So many years have gone by without anyone calling me by that name, by my name. In a sense, I guess I assumed a new identity…but what happens now? I’m obviously not going back to the club and out of everything that I could have ever anticipated, it was never leaving the club alive. I always assumed I would leave in a body bag.
So, I ask again, what happens now? Do I go back to being Kathryn….Would I even remember how to be anyone besides Rage’s little Kitten.
I’m not sure, but I guess it’s time to find out.
“Where are we headed?” I ask, quickly looking over to him. I’m hoping, maybe even praying, that he won’t take me back to Montana.
Trig has his poker face on really good right now, his eyes dart in my direction for a split second and then back to the road in front of us.
“Home.” One word. He says one word and instantly I have red flags going off inside of me.
“I don’t have a home anymore.”
“Wrong. You had a home before he ripped you from it. That’s what you said, he took you. The answer couldn’t be clearer, I’m going to take you home, back to where you belong, because I’m pretty damn sure your family misses you as much as you miss them.”
“I don’t miss them.” It’s true. I don’t. If I think really hard on it, I haven’t missed them in years. Missing them meant being disappointed in the fact that they never came to save me, to pull me from the prison I was condemned to. So, I stopped missing them. I stopped caring. Hell. I stopped thinking about them.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. You miss them. Damn, I miss my own family, even though all they are is a pain in my ass.”
“Why are you even doing this?” I stammer out, refusing to look away from him. I don’t have a care in the world about all this other shit. I want to know exactly why he is doing this, helping me; if that’s what I want to call it.
“Does it even matter? The point is that I am, whether you like it or not. Now, are you going to tell me where the hell I’m supposed to be driving, or are you just going to sit there the entire time and make me guess? If you think I won’t drive around all fifty states, you’re sadly mistaken.”
“Forty-eight,” I correct him.
“What?”
“You said fifty. You can’t drive through Hawaii or Alaska, you’d have to fly. So, it’s forty-eight.”
There’s a split second where I flinch, expecting him to reach his hand from the steering wheel and slap the shit out of me. I have to remind myself that I’m not in the car with Rage. I’m with Trig, and those two couldn’t be more different.
Rage was an enigma. Even after years by his side I could never quite figure him out. When I was taken, he had assumed I was his flesh and blood, that I was his daughter and my mother was the devil for taking me away from him. Years had gone by until we were in a car accident and the brutal reality that he knew deep within himself came to life – I wasn’t his daughter.
That right there was the beginning of my demise; of my hell.
Before that day, he was different. In no way, shape, or form was Rage kind to me, but he was not the monstrosity that I came to know so well.
There were times in the beginning, right after he discovered I wasn’t his daughter, where I was in denial. Everything that was happening, I didn’t want to believe that I was enduring it. The first time I was ever slapped, hit, or bitten: Rage did all of those things.
He took everything that he could from me, because he couldn’t take it from my mother.
I was paying for not only her mistakes, but her sins.
The first time I had sex, it was because Rage allowed one of his brothers to force himself inside of me. That is, until Rage slit his throat and he fell to his death.
I say fuck, but I mean rape.
He enjoyed that and everything else he’s ever done to me, every agonizing second he was snickering. I can almost remember the smell of whiskey on his breath, the awful things he had whispered in my ear.
The funny thing about memories, is how quickly the happy ones fade, and yet how you can never forget the horrendous ones. No matter how much you try, you will never forget them.
Right now, I think this is the moment where I realize my life of confinement is over. After all, I’m on the interstate with a man who for some unknown reason wants to save me. For so long I’ve been past the point of being saved, and as I look at the scars on my wrists, slowly going up my arms, I wonder if that’s true. How could I be past that point if I’ve gotten to this one? There has to be a reason for me being in this SUV with Trig. I don’t know what it is, but I plan on finding out.
I’m not stupid, though. Just because I’m not with Rage right this second doesn’t mean that I’m free. I’m just free from his reach, for the time being. He’s taken me once, and if he really wants to, he can do it again. He’s got the manpower, the muscle, and the balls.
No matter what happens from this point forward, I just know one thing; I’m bringing a war back home with me.
I just hope the Reapers are ready to face it.
“Montana. We need to head for Montana.”
Chapter 1
A real alpha will do whatever it takes to achieve his goals, even if it means standing alone. -GYMAHOLIC
Damon
We wouldn’t be in Montana for at least another day. I’d driven long distances before, but this was the most grueling and exhausting trip I’ve ever made. I didn’t stop unless she begged me to use the bathroom. When I told her to hold it, she looked like she was gonna carve my damn face off.
Bathroom breaks and food were the only reason we stopped. I didn’t want to take more time off the road than necessary. By now, Rage would know something was up, and he wouldn’t be the only one. I’m sure my family knew I was in the wind at this point. Once we got settled, there was bound to be an unexpected visit from one of my brothers or sisters. Hell, the old dog himself might even get out of the den for a bit.
“We need to get some sleep, in a real bed,” she comments, and my back is aching, every muscle in my body screaming for relief. Another forty miles go by, and the pain slowly begins to worsen. I know if I keep going I’d be in no shape to drive. Hell would have to freeze over before I gave her the keys and let her drive. I don’t have enough confidence in her continuing to drive towards our destination, for all I know she could have Stockholm syndrome and decide to drive back to the Demons clubhouse.
Hell, if I am gonna let that shit happen! Not when we’ve gotten so far.
“How far away do you think we are?” she asks, pulling her legs up on the leather of the seat. I look to my right quickly, and she seems to be shaking. It’s not fucking cold in here.
“About 4 hours, maybe.” It’s just past eleven at night, personally I don’t want to get there around this time of day on this little sleep. I’ll need to be well rested for whatever we’re going to walk into tomorrow. Kathryn can’t even tell me exactly where she lived. She told me it was just outside of Billings and was sure that if we started driving in that direction she’d be able to recoll
ect something that could help me figure out where to take her. I think that she’s assuming I’ll just leave her there. I’m hoping she’s going to tell me where she lives, it would make everything much easier. Though, the truth is bound to come out. Maybe I should just leave her there, but I won’t. The girl caught my eye long ago, only then I couldn’t have her. Now I have no one in my way. Who’s going to stop me from getting what I really want? No one. That’s who.
There are still so many questions left unanswered. My hope is that tonight I’ll be able to find out more about Kathryn and what her life was like before she was with the Demons. From the looks of it, she believes her family is still here, and that only makes me think one thing. She’s going to tell me. I’m just waiting for her to speak up.
I pull off at the next motel that I see, it’s just a half mile away from the interstate so we’re not taking too much time away from getting back on the road. Both Kathryn and I walk into the office, and I pay for a room. After I get the key I hand it to Kathryn to go on and get settled while I head towards the vending machine to get some grub and drinks.
I make my way down the motel until I can find the room number that the woman behind the counter told the two of us. I knock on the door lightly, grab the knob, and turn it. To my surprise, it’s wide open. How stupid could she be? Not even locking the fucking door. Her and I are going to be having a talk really quick on safety.
When I make my way into the motel room, the first thing I do is shut the door behind me and secure it. No way in hell am I gonna let some jackoff try to get in here and steal our shit, which amounts to a total of three-hundred and forty-seven dollars. I put down the sodas, Powerade, granola bars, and chips, and even the bar of chocolate I got for her in case she was close to her lady time. Girls crave all sorts of shit, don’t they? Salty, sweet, savory. It doesn’t matter. They’ll eat as much as I will!
Water is running in the background, and I take it that she took a few minutes to get a hot shower in. Smart. I wish I would’ve thought of that first. When we left the hospital, I wasn’t prepared. The only thing that I had was a duffel in the backseat of my car with an extra two sets of clothes, and the only reason I had that was in case at the last minute the club decided to go out for a couple of nights. It was my grab-n-go bag. Looks like Kathryn spotted it too, since I see it’s open and sitting on the edge of the bed.
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