He peeks his head out of the closet, looking around. Cautiously, he creeps out of the closet, taking slow steps at first, then quicker ones as he runs into my arms.
I tighten my hold, like I might not see him ever again. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to him. “You’re okay, buddy.”
“We’re going to need you two to come with us,” someone says from behind us. I look back to see a man in a blue uniform looking down at us. His eyes are filled with pity and that’s when I remember the herd of officers outside.
“What happened?” I ask, rising from my crouch.
“We just need to ask you some questions,” the officer says, and that’s when I realize this is far from over.
“Where are you going?” Ethan asks.
We’re down at the station, and I can tell Ethan is getting more and more stressed with what’s happening. “I just have to talk to the man from earlier. It’ll only take a couple of minutes.”
“Is everything okay?” he asks again. I don’t know enough to have an answer, and I’m not sure I could tell him even if I did know.
“Yes,” I lie once again. “I’ll be right back.”
“Promise?” he asks and I feel like I’m looking at the younger version of me.
I nod. “I promise.”
“Okay,” he concedes, trusting me at my word. I’ll never leave him behind. I’ll never break a promise to him—I won’t be like our mother.
A female officer, who’s been waiting with us, sets up a puzzle, asking Ethan to join her.
My brother looks at me for confirmation. “Go ahead,” I say. “I bet you’ll have it finished before I get back.”
Ethan bites his bottom lip, considering his options before cautiously sitting down at the table. The officer starts asking him about school and what he likes to do. Like any child would, Ethan finds himself eager to answer all of her questions, the earlier concern erased.
“Do you think we can beat your big brother and get this done before he gets back?” she asks pointing at the puzzle, and Ethan nods enthusiastically.
Confident Ethan will be fine, I leave the room.
“He’ll be okay,” the escorting officer tells me. “Kids are resilient.”
Numbly, I just stare at him. Of course he’d say that. He’s probably seen this exact same thing unfold a hundred times over. And that makes me angry. Determined. Regardless of what I have to do, Ethan will be okay. I won’t let anything hurt him, or allow anyone to destroy his childhood like mine was.
He shows me into a room. “I’m Officer Alvarez.” He extends his hand and I shake it. Gesturing behind him, he says, “And this is Officer Jones. If you could take a seat, please,” he adds.
As if I’m not in control of my own feet, I move towards the table, taking a seat. He sits down too, and another cop, who I vaguely remember from my house, walks in and closes the door. I glance around. We’re in an interrogation room—a room usually reserved for what I assume are perpetrators. I start to worry whether I’m in trouble.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, feeling the same vulnerability Ethan did.
“It will be,” the officer assures me.
“Son, we responded to a call at your home.”
In rushing to make sure Ethan was okay, I didn’t even give myself a moment to think about what had caused all of the cops to be at my house in the first place. I mean, Ethan told me that Mom and Richard were fighting, but that’s not new. They scream and fight and throw shit, but the cops never show.
“Is my mother okay?” I ask. I may not think she’s a good mother, but I’m not heartless. She still gave birth to my brother and me. She was, at some point, a decent parent before addiction and Richard consumed her life.
“She’s in the hospital,” he says.
“What did that bastard do?” I ask, standing up so quickly, my chair tips and falls behind me.
Officer Alvarez stands up too, walking around to pick up my chair. “We responded to a call about a heroin overdose.”
“My mother OD’d?” My words come out in a whisper. She was yelling over the phone when Ethan called. How could she have overdosed in the time it took me to get home?
He sets my chair back, nodding at it. I sit. “We were able to bring her back with Narcan.”
My mother had died.
“Where’s Richard?” I ask.
“Who’s Richard?”
I run my fingers through my hair. “My mother’s boyfriend.” Who I thought was out of our lives for good.
“When we showed up at the house, it was just your mother lying on the kitchen floor.” The imagery he paints is sure to haunt me. I watch Officer Jones standing silently behind him.
“We received an anonymous call and that’s what we responded to,” he adds.
Anonymous call my ass. That was Richard, too cowardly to stay and help out the woman he’s dealt drugs to for years.
“Son, we have a couple of questions for you,” Alvarez says, and I realize I’m the one who’s been asking them for the most part.
I nod. Officer Alvarez opens a manila folder and slides a few pictures toward me.
“When we responded to the call, we found these on the kitchen table,” he says, tapping the photos with his index finger. I look down and see a few bags of what I know is cocaine and heroin.
“Does your mother do drugs often?” he asks and I consider how I should answer. “Aron, this is important,” he presses. “I know you don’t want to get your mom in trouble, but she could’ve died tonight. She needs help, and so do you and your brother.”
I nod at the mention of my brother.
“Does she sell them?” he asks.
“I don’t think she does. Richard does though,” I say, throwing him under the bus. At this moment, I’d literally shove him in front of a moving car myself for all the wreckage he’s brought into our lives.
“Do you think your mother is an addict?” he asks and I laugh bitterly. She’s been an addict for years now.
“Aron?”
The smile leaves my face. “Yes.”
The cop rubs at his beard, looking at me with pity-filled eyes.
“What’s going to happen now?” I ask.
He puts the photos back into the folder. “I’m not sure. I don’t think your mother will face jail time, but she will have to go to rehab.” Rehab? I wonder if it’ll work. She looked like her old self the last few months. Maybe with help she could be that way permanently.
“The family court judge will likely find that she isn’t fit to care for you until she gets through the program and proves she’s not endangering her children.”
“Not fit to care for us?” I echo. If those words aren’t gospel, I don’t know what is.
“The court will take you and your brother from her custody.”
If the court says she can no longer have us… “Where are we going to go?” I finish my thought out loud.
“Is your father in the picture?”
“I haven’t heard from my father in years. He could be dead for all I know.”
He purses his lips as if what he just heard is distasteful. “Do you have any extended family? The court may award them temporary custody if they can provide a safe environment for you both.” I quiet the thoughts in my head, focusing specifically on where Ethan and I could go. There’s no one on my father’s side.
“I have an aunt,” I tell him. “She’s my mother’s sister.” We used to be really close. She used to take us to her house for the weekends every so often. Then, something happened between her and Mom and all I remember is her leaving our house with tears in her eyes after dropping us off. She did sneak a piece of paper into my pocket that day and told me to call her if I ever need anything, to call her if I ever felt unsafe.
I never did.
I thought things would get better.
I was wrong.
10
We aren’t living the lives we were supposed to live
“So, wh
at happens now?” Someone asks from right outside the door. I’m sitting inside the same room Ethan and I first were first led to, watching him take one of the smaller race cars from the basket provided by the police, and navigating it through a makeshift track.
“The boys are in there,” Officer Alvarez says and my ears perk up.
I look at Ethan, ruffling his hair. “I’ll be right back,” I say, standing up. If someone is going to talk about what’s going to happen to us, I need to be party to it.
I step outside the room, coming face-to-face with Alvarez. Beside him is someone I haven’t seen in a while. The woman looks just like my mom—well, the way my mother used to look before the drugs. She’s got long dark hair, soft facial features, and she’s shorter than me by at least a foot. She turns to me and I’m met with my Aunt Eve’s hazel eyes.
“Oh, my goodness,” she says, bringing her arms around me. I don’t return her hug—just stand there stiffly.
She must sense my hesitance because she drops her arms instantly. “I haven’t seen you for so long.”
I nod. “It’s been a few years.”
“You’re all grown up,” she says, and I can hear the regret in her voice. I wonder what she regrets…
Probably leaving us with my mother.
I wonder if she knew.
“What’s going to happen now?” I ask the same question I assume Eve had, shifting my eyes from her to Alvarez, who’s watching the encounter with interest.
He scratches his head. “The Department of Children, Youth, and Families will likely allow your aunt to take you and Ethan home if she–” He stops and I can tell he feels uncomfortable “––if she wants to.”
“To our house?” I ask.
“No. You’d be going back to her house.”
I wait for her to object, for her to say she can’t possibly let us into her home. I’m waiting for her to shut the door on the whole idea and for Ethan and me to be left on our own, like it’s always been.
Instead, she says, “Of course!” There’s not an ounce of hesitation. “What do I have to do to take them with me? Where’s Ethan?” she asks, finally noticing his absence.
“You just have to fill out a form and we should have the approval soon,” Alvarez says.
“Ethan is playing with some toys right now,” I add, answering her question.
She looks toward the door I’d come out of a few minutes ago, worry creasing her brow. “Does he know what’s happening?”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t have a clue. I didn’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to tell him, not until I know what’s going on.”
Not until I figure out how to protect him.
“Okay, I’ll go see him in a few. I want to get all the paperwork done so we can leave this place as quickly as possible,” she says, looking around at the police station. How is it possible that she seems so put together when my mother is falling apart?
“What will happen after?” I press. I know I’ve asked similar questions before but it’s still so unclear.
Eve brings her hand to my cheek, something my mother did to me too. “I’ll figure it all out and then we’ll talk about it at the house. Don’t worry about it.”
I know she thinks telling me to not worry is what I need right now, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I need answers.
Sensing my hesitation, she adds, “It’s going to be okay, Aron. I promise.”
Her words don’t comfort me though.
Too many promises have been broken; I don’t think I believe in them anymore.
“Aron?” I spin around to find Ethan at the door.
Kneeling in front of him, I look up at him and ask, “What’s up, buddy?”
“I want to show you something!” he says excitedly I follow him inside, glancing behind me once and nodding at Eve. I’m giving her permission to go and figure it all out. In the meantime, I’ll figure out how to break it to Ethan that we’ll be hanging out with our aunt for a little bit.
As we drive to Eve’s house, I take in my surroundings. Gone is the neighborhood I’ve lived in my entire life. Instead, we find ourselves in a place that looks completely different. All the houses here look the same. The grass is green, the houses are painted white, and there are kids playing without fear out in the yard.
We drive by a house and see a family having a barbecue with what I assume are their friends. They all laugh and chat, completely carefree.
I guess the grass really is greener on the other side.
I look away.
This is too normal. It only reminds me that our childhood was far from perfect.
We aren’t living the lives we were supposed to live.
The car comes to a stop a few minutes later, and Ethan practically jumps out. Taking off my seatbelt, I open the door, and walk out after him. Oddly, he hasn’t asked too many questions about the fact that we aren’t returning home.
He did ask what would happen to Mom and what we were doing. I told him we were going to be spending some time with our aunt. He was confused for about two minutes before Eve told him she had a game console at home. Then all his worries were forgotten. I wish I could forget that easily.
Following Eve, we walk into the house and she gives us a quick tour. It has been so long since the last time we were here, I barely remember it. Her house is really nice—not extravagant, but still spacious and comfortable. It looks like a home but I can tell it’s empty. She shows us pictures of her husband and pictures of her and my mother when they were little.
I did notice there aren’t any pictures of any kids—not even us.
Ethan asks about her husband—our uncle—and I knew he’d passed away by the look in her eyes. She wiped a tear away then smiled.
“He’s been gone for a couple of years now.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, but Eve shrugs.
“We had a wonderful life together.”
Pushing her shoulders back, she directs us up the stairs, guiding us to what will be our rooms.
“This will be your room,” she says, and Ethan and I both look inside.
She opens the door wider. “Go inside!” she says, excitedly. And in that moment, I can tell she’s happy we’re here with her despite the circumstances that brought us to her door.
“This is so cool!” Ethan yells, walking inside and going straight for one of the toy cars sitting on the floor. “Can I play with this?” he asks, pointing at a red Mustang.
“It’s all yours,” she says with a smile as Ethan sits on the floor and starts pushing the car from side to side.
“You didn’t have to,” I tell her.
She places her hand on my shoulder. “I bought that for him last Christmas. I know I wasn’t around much—well, at all—but I’ve wanted to be. I’ve bought you guys a birthday and Christmas present every year for the last few years,” she says, shocking me completely. She takes a deep breath before adding, “I should’ve tried harder.”
“I—” I start, trying to ease some of her guilt but she stops me once again.
“Let’s go see your room.”
“You have your own room too?” Ethan asks, looking up from his place on the floor.
Eve nods excitedly. “Yes he does!” She walks out of the room and I follow. Ethan trails behind his, his toy car clutched in his hand. He cuts in front of me, impatient to see what the other room looks like.
“Wow, this one is so much bigger than mine!” he says.
“He’s a lot bigger than you are,” Eve says gently. “I don’t think he’d fit in your bed.”
Ethan laughs. “Right? His feet would be hanging off the mattress.”
“Yes, they would!” Eve replies, ruffling his hair.
I look around the room, and then look at Eve with Ethan. I don’t want him to get too attached to her even though I know he will. We don’t know what’s going to happen to us next. We don’t even know if Eve will want to keep us or if we’ll have to go back to our mother.
T
he only thing I do know is that it’s Ethan and me.
Always.
11
I found myself hitting rock bottom
We drive over to the courthouse in silence. Aunt Eve’s holding the steering wheel too tightly, her knuckles turning white. For the past six weeks, she’s welcomed Ethan and I into her home, voracious in her need to know everything about us. For the first time in seven years, I’ve actually felt cared for.
I glance over my shoulder at Ethan sitting in the back, distracted by playing with a tablet Eve got him. I’m not sure he’s aware of what’s going to happen today, and that’s just the way I want to keep it.
He looks up as we pull up to a stop in front of an imposing stone building. “What’s that?” he asks curiously.
“That’s a courthouse.”
“Like on TV?” he asks, talking about a show he and Eve started watching last week. She’s been really good with him, fielding whatever questions I find myself unable to answer. She’s been caring for him like he was her own son—like we both were.
I nod. “Yes.”
“What are we doing here?”
I pause to think about what to say, but Eve beats me to it. “We just have a few things to take care of. You’ll get to hang out in a room with a bunch of games while your brother and I run a quick errand,” she says.
I look at her and she sees the question in my eyes. “I called the court. He doesn’t have to be in the room so he gets his own for him to play,” she says in a hushed voice.
“Thank you,” I mouth to her. I’m grateful she too understands the importance of shielding Ethan.
“Don’t mention it,” Eve says, resting her hand on mine.
“Do you think you can do that?” the judge asks my mother. I sit next to Eve, who’s nervously playing with her hands. I find myself on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what my mother will say next, hanging on her every word.
“Do you think you can do that, Mrs. Lincoln?” the judge asks once again. Her last name isn’t Lincoln. It’s Robertson. She went back to her maiden name after she and Dad divorced. I think I let my mind hold on to this fact because I’m scared to focus on what’s happening now—on what she will say.
Not the Same (Not Alone Novellas Book 2) Page 4