“I don’t think it’s weird. I’m honored that you’ve brought us here. I just wish we could hear what she has to say about us after we leave.”
I smiled, closing my fingers tighter around his. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. She’d have given you one look before telling me she approved. Her judgment about people was always impeccable.”
“Good to know.” He leaned forward to kiss my forehead, and the girls must’ve been watching because they suddenly broke out into more squeals.
Jacob laughed and tucked me under his arm after picking up the basket. We moved to catch up to them, and Katie giggled as she wrapped an arm around my waist. “I’m glad we’re here. It’s going to mean a lot to her to know you’ve got a boyfriend now.”
I held her with my arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “I’m glad we’re here too, but maybe you should let me tell her that part.”
She giggled some more, making a noncommittal sound at the back of her throat. “We’ll see.”
Her voice was light and teasing. She really was a different little girl these days. It was easy to see that she was also healing. Neither of us would ever forget her mother, but both of us were learning how to live without her.
Thanks in no small part to the people we’d brought for her to meet.
I’d heard the phrase “no man is an island” countless times before, but I was really starting to understand why it was used so often. Relying on other people didn’t make a person weak or dependent. It simply meant that person was lucky enough to have reliable, dependable people in their lives who were willing to stand by them no matter what.
I counted myself among those lucky people while still feeling strong and independent. It’d just taken me a while to get back to feeling that way.
Katie’s eyes filled with tears when we reached Kat’s grave, but she was still smiling. She went to stand next to the headstone and put the poinsettia she’d fetched from me down on top of it.
“Merry Christmas, Mommy,” she said before turning to motion to Jacob and Allie. “We’ve brought some of our new friends to meet you. Jacob kisses Laurie a lot.”
A laugh tore out of me while I went to stand on the one side of her and Jacob took the other. He rubbed the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly. “Don’t throw me under the bus like that. I thought you liked me.”
“He’s a good kisser, Kat, for what it’s worth,” I said through laughter of my own while Katie continued cracking up next to me. “I really think you would’ve liked them.”
“I really hope she’s right,” Jacob said. “You should know that they’ve come to mean a lot to us, even if we haven’t known each other for years and years.”
Allie was standing on Jacob’s other side, but she left him to stand behind Katie and put her forearms on her shoulders, seeming to relax a bit now that she’d seen how everyone else was handling it. I reached out to rub her back, smiling when she looked up at me.
“That isn’t as scary as I thought it would be,” she said. “Thank you for bringing us. Hi, Katherine. I’m Allie. I’m Katie’s friend and I think I’m going to be her sister one day.”
Heat instantly flooded my cheeks, but Jacob just met my eyes above the girls’ heads and shrugged with the hint of a smile at the corners of his lips. He winked at me, and my eyes flew wide open.
“Are you serious?” I mouthed.
Amusement lit up his light brown eyes, but there was a healthy dose of sincerity there too. “Yes. You mind?”
I shook my head and averted my eyes while I tried to get my racing heart under control. The kids hadn’t noticed our exchange, chatting away to Katherine and to each other.
“We were in the school play together,” Katie was saying when I tuned back in. “It was so good, Mom. I know you loved being on stage. I think I do too.”
“She was brilliant,” Jacob said as easily as if he’d been part of that whole conversation all the time and that really shocking yet amazing moment had never happened. “She’s a pretty decent skater too. Although none of them beat my title as King of the Rink.”
“No one calls you that.” Allie scoffed before propping her hands on her hips and glancing at the headstone. “Seriously, Katherine. No one calls him that.”
“We’ve got time to beat him at it,” Katie said, smiling innocently at Jacob as he pretended to gape at her. “What? It’s true. Give us a few more years of practice, and we’ll be the best there ever was.”
He covered his face with his hands. “How are you already ganging up against me?”
“You better get used to it.” Allie laughed, glancing back at me and threading her fingers through mine. “You have three women in your life now, and us girls? We stick together.”
“Where do you learn all that stuff?” he asked, but he couldn’t really hide his amusement about it. “If it’s at school, I think it’s time to change to a different school. Is there a ‘my dad rocks and is the best at everything’ school around here somewhere, Kat?”
Their banter continued and everyone spoke to Katherine as if she were right there with us. I truly believed she was. I’d always been able to feel my sister’s spirit there. That was why it’d been my place of comfort since her passing.
To share a special place like that with two new people in my life who were making a home in my heart brought a smile to my lips and peace to my soul. I could see from Katie’s expression that she felt the same.
She met my gaze while Allie and Jacob were telling Katherine about all the Christmas decorations we’d helped them put up. The smile she wore lit her up from the inside out, and my heart soared to see it there.
With each passing day, she was starting to look more and more like the happy little girl I remembered her being before. We’d weathered many storms together these last couple of years, but it seemed like both of us were finally starting to see the sunrise at the end of the dark stormy night it’d felt like we’d been stuck in.
We sat down on the blanket and drank the hot chocolate until eventually I realized Allie’s hands were shaking. It was a clear day out but a very chilly one.
“All right, guys. I think that’s enough for today. Let’s get inside. There’s a puzzle waiting on my dining-room table with our names on it. I’ve made us some lunch too.”
The girls nodded and jumped to their feet, but Jacob remained seated and brought his eyes to mine. “Want me to take them back to the car? It’ll give you some privacy with her.”
“Thanks. I’ll just be a minute.” I folded the blanket once we were off it, and Jacob took it and the empty flask from me.
Katie said her goodbyes to her mom, and I saw Allie wrapping an arm around her as they walked away. Once I was alone with my sister, I rested my hand on the cool granite of her headstone.
“You don’t need to worry about us anymore, big sister. We’re going to be okay.” I smiled. “I know it must’ve looked rough from up there for the last couple of years, but we’re not even only going to be okay now. We’re going to be more than okay. I promise.”
Epilogue
Jacob
Allie leaped into my bed on Christmas morning, her tiny hands wrapping around my shoulders as she shook me awake while yelling at what definitely sounded like the top of her lungs.
“Santa Claus came last night, Daddy! Wake up! Wake up!”
As I had gotten into the habit of doing every Christmas morning, I wrenched my eyes open as wide as they could go and shot out of bed. “What? Where? What did he bring?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, her voice still raised with excitement as she jumped off the bed and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go see! Quickly!”
I laughed but followed her out of the room anyway. “There’s no rush, honey. If Santa’s already been here, he’s not going to come back to take the presents he’s already left.”
She didn’t let my statement slow her down in the slightest. We rushed downstairs to find the tree packed underneath with presents.
The stockings I’d hung in front of the fireplace—all four of them, including two new ones with Katie and Laurie’s names on them—were bulging. I knew, obviously not from personal experience, that there wasn’t space left to fit even a ballpoint pen in them.
“Look, Santa ate his milk and cookies,” Allie yelled and I winced. Her volume control went out the window completely on Christmas morning. “The reindeer nibbled on their carrots!”
“I’m sure they were very happy to get something to eat,” I said. “They have to make such a long journey each year. Santa gets left lots of snacks, but too many people forget about the reindeer.”
Her chest puffed out. “I didn’t forget about them.”
“No, you didn’t.” I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Merry Christmas, my little one. How about we go make some hot chocolate for you and coffee for me?”
“Can we open presents first? Please?” She brought her palms together with her fingers facing up once she’d stepped out of my arms. “Please. Please. Please.”
“We have to wait until Laurie and Katie get here, sweetheart. We promised.”
“When are they coming?” She followed me to the kitchen and hopped onto the counter while I fixed our drinks. “Will they be here soon? We can just open one now and leave the rest for later.”
“We’re already opening only a few after they get here, remember?” I stirred some extra sugar into her hot chocolate because it was Christmas and she deserved whatever she wanted—even sugar in an already sweet, sugary drink.
“We’re really waiting until Granny and Grandpa get here before we open the rest?” She sighed. “I thought you were joking.”
“I wasn’t. Katie’s granny and grandpa are coming too. It’s the first time we’re meeting them and the first time the grandparents are meeting. It’ll be fun to open all their presents with them.”
Plus, hopefully, it would also serve as an ice-breaker in case the conversation was stilted and awkward. I was surprisingly nervous about the big meeting, but I was also really looking forward to having a big Christmas dinner as a family. So was Allie, despite the angles she was trying now in order to open her presents sooner.
In the last few weeks, we’d all gotten closer than ever before. If there had been any doubt before about wanting to make them part of our family officially as soon as humanly possible, which I didn’t remember there being, it was long gone.
I’d genuinely considered proposing to Laurie today, but eventually, I’d decided against it. She’d come one hell of a long way since we’d met, but I didn’t want to force yet another big change on her quite that fast.
There had been enough of those for a while. I already had a ring tucked away in my safe, and I was planning on asking her as soon as the dust settled a little. They wouldn’t have to move in with us or anything. In fact, I kind of liked the idea of us moving into their house. There was more than enough space, it was closer to the school, and I was starting to realize that maybe Allie and I weren’t a city family after all. In the meantime, there was also the present I was giving her later today, which should help make my intentions perfectly clear.
But I was getting ahead of myself. All that was still months or maybe even a year down the line. For now, I had to get through cooking all day with Laurie without messing up her food. I also had to meet her parents and survive our first Christmas together.
Shannon was spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s family, but she would be coming in a couple of days to celebrate with us. It had been a massive relief when she’d declined my invitation to come over for dinner.
I’d told her about my relationship with Laurie, and she was genuinely happy for me, but that didn’t mean I wanted her around when I met Laurie’s parents. Nevertheless, I’d issued the invitation and she had decided to miss the holiday.
Allie was okay with it. She understood and was looking forward to seeing her mother when she came. I’d expected her to be much more upset about it than she had been, but it only proved again that she was so much more grown up now than she had been even a year ago.
Her thought processes and even her manner of speaking were maturing. It made me miss my little baby girl, but it also made me excited to see what she and Katie would be like in a year from now. Two years and even three.
It also made me think about babies. I planned on broaching the subject with Laurie soon. I’d always wanted a big family. Having a few more kids would be a dream come true for me, and from what I’d been able to gather, Laurie wanted it too.
With Laurie and Katie in our lives, our family was complete. That was still true. More kids would be great, but I didn’t need anything more than I had.
If she even agreed to having many, many babies with me. Laurie had had more than enough change and upheaval in her life recently. It was much more of a long-term discussion to be had.
When I thought about my future, I definitely saw Laurie and Katie in it, so long-term stuff didn’t bother or intimidate me. A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts.
I smiled around the sip of coffee I’d just taken and pushed off the counter in the kitchen to open the door. Allie was one step ahead of me, running so fast I’d have sworn there was someone chasing her.
She threw the door open and pulled Katie into a jumping hug. “You should see how many presents there are. Come, come, come! We waited for you before we started opening them.”
Katie looked up at Laurie and waited for her to nod before she took off after her friend. Laurie grinned and placed her hands on my chest, tilting her head back. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” I bent my head to give her a sweet but lingering kiss. “Can I take that for you?”
There were grocery bags at her feet and another bag with presents wrapped in familiar paper. She nodded and handed over the groceries but not the presents.
“I’ll just go put these under the tree. Santa dropped them at the wrong house.” She winked before walking around me, glancing back over her shoulder. “They’re over the moon with excitement. I don’t think we should make them wait much longer.”
“I’m on it. Let me just get all of that packed into the fridge, and I’ll be right there.” I brushed another kiss to her temple before rushing to unpack the groceries.
When I walked back into the living room, Laurie was sitting on her knees on the floor next to the Christmas tree with the girls at either side of her. Allie’s eyes were wide and bright with excitement when she looked up at me.
“Look, Daddy! It’s more presents for us. Santa left them at Katie’s house.” She pointed at two identical packages. “Those have ‘From Santa’ tags on them with our names.”
Laurie shrugged when I gave her a puzzled look. “I don’t know what’s inside. Santa left specific instructions that I wasn’t allowed to peek because these are for two very special little girls. What could they be?”
I frowned. I knew for a fact Laurie had gotten Allie some kind of jewelry-making kit for Christmas. We’d wrapped it together and it was already waiting under the tree.
Curiosity drew me closer and I narrowed my eyes at Laurie as I walked past her to sit down in a wingback chair next to the fireplace, but she lifted her shoulders again. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that made me wonder what the heck she had done.
“Can we open them, Daddy?” Allie pleaded, giving me her best puppy-dog eyes.
I nodded. “Go ahead, girls. Let’s see what Santa’s up to.”
The words had hardly left my mouth before they were tearing the paper off the packages. Shock radiated through me when I watched them both open the same doll Laurie and I had fought over on Black Friday.
How did she pull that off? I had searched high and low for another one to replace the one she’d let me have and I’d later given back to her. Also, how did she know I didn’t really have another one for Allie?
I couldn’t ask her any of those questions in front of the girls, but I did arch
a brow at her and incline my head. She simply smiled.
The girls were ecstatic, both of them flinging their arms around her at the same time. They collapsed in a heap of giggles and hugs before eventually surfacing for air.
Laurie nodded at the stockings. “Those look like they’re about to tear. Want to unpack them before you go play with the dolls?”
“Yes!” Allie jumped up and zoomed across to where they were hung, unhooking both hers and Katie’s before going back to sit next to her.
While they were unpacking those, Laurie reached for a thinner, wider package about the size of a piece of paper before standing up. “I have another gift for you too.”
She walked over to me and slid it into my hand. I took it but wrapped my other arm around her waist and pulled her down on my lap. “What might that be?”
“Open it,” she said, a hint of excitement in her voice.
I peered at the package first before slowly peeling the tape off the paper. Laurie was practically humming now, impatiently waiting while I lifted the wrapping off one side of what turned out to be a sheaf of paper.
“It’s the first twenty pages of my new manuscript,” she said quickly when I looked up at her. “I just finished it last night and I wanted you to be the first to read it.”
“You’ve started writing again?” A wide grin split my face in two before I tugged her down for a deep, long kiss. When I let her go, I murmured against her lips. “I’m so proud of you, baby. I can’t wait to read it.”
“And I can’t wait to hear what you think about it. You can start while I do the prep for dinner.” She was about to get off my lap when I caught her wrist and shook my head.
“Not so fast. I have a little something for you, too.”
She gave me a pointed look. “I think you’ve given me more than enough over the last couple of months.”
“Maybe, but it will never be enough.” It was a little awkward to get to the tiny package from under the tree without getting up or lifting her off my lap, but I managed. Presenting it to her in the palm of my hand, I looked up into those soft green eyes. “Open it.”
Desperate For You Page 25