by B. B. Hamel
Which makes me question everything I was feeling yesterday. When he kicked me out, treated me like just another asshole patient, I was angry. I hated him for being such a jerk.
Now, after a day to cool off… Maybe I overreacted.
He was definitely being a jerk. I stand by that. There are a million better ways to talk to someone, especially in a crisis. I’m still angry with him.
But he doesn’t do it because he doesn’t care. He definitely cares a lot. I doubt he sits in every patient’s room just so that he can be there when they wake up. That’s something special he’s willing to do for me.
Really, this whole thing, taking care of my grandmother, is because of me. I know we have the best doctor in the area looking after her.
I just wish he weren’t such a jerk.
As I put the remote down, settling on Jeopardy!, I notice that Grandmom is staring at me.
“What?” I ask her.
She smiles a little. “How long have you and Dr. Hill been seeing each other?”
I stare at her, not sure what to say.
“How did you know?” I ask finally.
“I wasn’t sure,” she admits, “but you just confirmed it for me.”
I groan. “You tricked me.”
“You’re seeing my doctor.” She narrows her eyes. “Is that why he’s my doctor now?”
“Probably,” I admit.
“Well, I suppose that’s not so bad. He has a good incentive to keep me alive.” She laughs and I smile along with her.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. And anyway, he’s been… difficult.”
“I’m sure. He’s twice your age.”
“That’s not really the problem.”
She sighs. “He’s not good to you?”
I hesitate a second. “No, he’s very good to me.”
“What’s the problem then?”
“He just… he kicked me out yesterday, during your episode. Treated me like any other patient.”
“You are just any other patient. Well, family member of a patient.”
I frown. “I guess.”
“He’s normally nice to you?”
“As nice as he gets.”
“It’s the job,” she says, nodding to herself. “It probably makes him that way.”
“What do you mean?”
She sits up a little bit. “You don’t act like this at your normal job, do you?”
I laugh a little. “I didn’t realize I was being so weird.”
She grins. “I mean, this comfortable. Just sitting here, chatting. You’re not like that at work.”
I nod a little. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“We all have masks we wear in all different situations. Whatever the situation calls for, that’s what we become.”
“So his job makes him an asshole?”
She claps her hands. “Exactly!”
I sigh. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“But it should. When he’s working, he’s being a doctor. The guy that kicked you out isn’t the same guy that you’re seeing. He didn’t mean anything personal by it. He was just doing his job.”
I nod a little bit. I get her point. I’m not the same in every single interaction. Sometimes I do things I don’t want to do, act in ways I otherwise wouldn’t, because I’m put in a situation where I have to.
I do it all the time at work. I draw things I don’t feel like drawing because that’s my job. I can see how it would be the same for Aiden.
He feels like he has to wear this armor at work. He becomes a doctor and wraps himself in layers of anger. He turns into an asshole.
That guy is Dr. Hill. That guy isn’t my Daddy.
I sigh a little bit. “I think I owe him an apology.”
She grins at me. “Did you yell at him?”
“Pretty much.”
“Listen, honey, you don’t have forever. If you found a good man that can take care of you and love you, and you love him… it’s important you don’t let that pass you by. Especially if he makes you happy.”
“You’re right,” I say, and stand. “I should go find him.”
“Good luck.”
I kiss her cheek and leave the room.
As I walk through the halls, searching for Aiden, I know I don’t want to apologize. There’s no part of me that wants to say sorry. He was an asshole and he deserved to get yelled at.
But maybe, just maybe, he really was trying to save my grandmother’s life. Maybe I really was in the way.
After all, he says I’m a distraction.
I groan to myself.
This isn’t my fault. I can’t blame myself for him being a jerk to me.
But then again, part of it is my fault. I’m the one that refused to leave right away. I was panicking, freaking out a little bit. He had to get rid of me if he was going to do what he had to do.
I’m a distraction for him. The thought makes me smile a little bit.
He was waiting for my grandmother to wake up, just because he wanted to explain what happened to her. That’s not something a real asshole would do.
I smile even more. Shit.
I really am going to have to apologize.
14
Aiden
I’m half asleep when there’s a knock at my office door.
I hate staying up all night. I can pull it off every once in a while, but I’m getting older. I need sleep if I’m going to stay sharp.
I had to be there when Dot woke up, though. I knew she was going to be disoriented, confused, upset. I wanted to be there to explain what happened, maybe provide a little comfort if I could.
Here’s the thing about that. I’d do the same for any patient. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. It’s not really necessary, I could have a nurse explain it all, but there’s something about waking up and seeing a doctor right there, ready to talk to you.
It’s surprising what that can do for people. Just knowing someone gives a shit enough to wait around in their room like that. It gives them confidence, helps them want to actually fight their goddamn illness.
A lot of times, they need that fight.
People always look down on the placebo effect. They say it’s fake, it’s not real. When you give a patient a sugar pill and tell them it’ll cure them, and they do get better, that’s real. That really happens, even if it’s not caused by the pill.
As a doctor, I use whatever I can to heal people. If being there when they wake up is going to give them a strong sense of healing, then I’ll do it.
It’s what I have to do. It’s who I am.
I sigh and get up. “Coming,” I call out, and walk over to the door. It’s locked, since I thought I might get some sleep in.
I know that’s not going to happen anytime soon.
Ruby looks up at me as I pull the door open. She’s smiling a little, like she’s uncomfortable. “Hey,” she says.
“Hey, yourself,” I answer.
“Mind if I come in?”
“Please.” I step aside and she enters. I lock the office door behind her after I close it.
She sits in the chair in front of my desk and I sit down next to her, not bothering to go around. She clears her throat, fidgets a little bit.
I know what’s coming. “You don’t have to,” I say softly.
She hesitates. “Do what?”
“You’re uncomfortable, awkward. I’m guessing you’re here to apologize.”
She glares at me. “I was, but now I don’t think I will.”
I grin. “Good. I just told you not to.”
She leans back in her chair, shaking her head. “Even when you’re nice, you’re still an asshole.”
“Can’t help myself.”
“Seriously. Can’t you just let me apologize?”
“Okay. Go ahead.”
“I’m sorry.”
I take a breath and let it out. “How’d that feel?” I ask her.
“Fine,” she says.
“Liar.”
“Okay, I hate apologizing.”
“Everyone does. It’s like an admission of guilt.”
“I’m not wrong for the way I reacted,” she says.
“Not exactly, no,” I agree.
She hesitates, surprised. “I figured you’d disagree.”
“Here’s the thing. I was right to kick you out, and you were right to be upset. That was a stressful situation and very few people react very well under stress. That’s why I had to get rid of you to do my job.”
She nods, looking away. “I get it.”
“So your reaction was wrong… but it wasn’t. At least it was a normal reaction.”
“I just hated that you were treating me like any other patient.”
“I know,” I say softly. “I had to, though. There’s already talk.”
“Talk?”
I hesitate. I’m not sure how much I should tell her about this. “People know about the two of us, or at least there are rumors.”
She groans. “That’s so embarrassing.”
I glare at her. “Is it?”
“No, I mean, I just don’t like having my personal stuff out there. I hate that people are talking about me.”
I nod. “I hate it too, but it’s already happening.”
“Is this going to be bad for your career?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “It could be,”
She looks concerned now, leans toward me. “Why did you wait for my grandmother?”
I smile a little. “I thought it might help.”
“That’s all?”
“It’s not because of you, if that’s what you mean. Although I bet the nurses are talking about that, too.”
She leans back in her chair, crosses her arms. “You do that for all your patients?”
“Actually, yes. At least I’ve done it before.”
“Really?” She looks surprised. “That’s actually kind of sweet.”
“But I’m still an asshole, of course.”
“Of course,” she says, nodding along.
I stretch my legs and stifle a yawn. “You’re very devoted to your grandmother,” I point out.
Ruby looks down at her hands. “She’s been very good to me.”
“How?”
She chews her lip a little. “Paid for my college when my parents wouldn’t. Watched me a lot when I was growing up. She basically raised me.”
“Huh,” I say softly. “Why? Your parents weren’t around?”
“They were, they were just… very religious.”
I raise an eyebrow. “In what way?”
“In the kind of way that makes them not care about their own daughter just because she isn’t as devoted as they are.”
I let out a sigh. “That must’ve been hard.”
“It was until my grandmother started spending more time with me. I was never good enough for my parents and because I didn’t believe like they did, somehow I was broken. Eventually they gave up on me, and my grandmom stepped in to fill the void.”
“That must’ve been hard.”
“It was, but I think she saved me back then.”
“Ah,” I say softly, “now you’re returning the favor.”
“That’s your job, actually.” She grins at me.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
She bites her lip again, the smile vanishing from her face. “She is going to be okay, right? That really was just the medication you had her on?”
“Yes,” I say. “It was the medication.”
“And she’ll be okay?”
I hesitate. I hate saying this out loud. It’s a bad idea to tell a patient’s family that their loved one is going to be fine, especially when they aren’t completely done with the treatment yet.
I think her grandmother is going to be fine. She’s trending in the right direction again and it’s a straightforward issue. Dot is a strong old woman and I think she has some more time left in her after all.
Still, I don’t want to get Ruby’s hopes up.
“I think so,” I say finally. “But I’m never sure.”
She nods once and looks at the floor. The look of disappointment on her face nearly drives a spike through my heart.
I get out of my chair and onto my knees. I don’t know why but I kneel in front of her, taking her hands in mine, looking into her eyes.
“I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure you have more time with her,” I say. “Honestly Ruby, I’ll do everything I can possibly do.”
“I know you will,” she says, her smile returning a bit. “I’m just afraid.”
I kiss her then, softly and slowly. She returns my kiss and I can feel a chill of desire run through my body.
She’s a distraction. She’s a problem.
She’s a source of gossip.
I don’t give a damn.
I’ve needed her for a long time.
The thought hits me all at once. It nearly floors me.
But it’s true. I’ve been drowning myself in work, but I’ve been neglecting the things I know will really sustain me.
Love. Life with a woman.
I don’t care if it’s wrong. I don’t care if we’ll get in trouble.
That’s meaningless. Unimportant.
I need her.
My kiss gets deeper, more intense. I can feel my pulse buzzing. I grab her hair and tighten my body against hers, flattening her back into the chair.
I slide the hem of her shirt up and off, watching her hair spill down as I drop it on the floor. Her full breasts fit perfectly in my hands as I tease them, kissing her neck, buzzing with desire.
I kiss her again as I unhook her bra. She lets it drop forward and I stand, pulling her to her feet.
I push her up onto the desk, shoving aside some papers. She gasps as I grab at her jeans, unbuttoning them, tugging them off.
I can’t get her undressed fast enough.
My hand slides between her legs, finding her pussy already soaked, wet, waiting for me, begging for me. I push her panties aside and tease her clit as I kiss her slowly.
“Shit,” she whispers. “We always find ourselves like this.”
“Yes, we do,” I whisper back. “I can’t help myself.”
“Neither can I.”
“I guess we’ll just have to give in to our baser instincts.”
She smirks and I press my fingers inside of her, making that smirk turns into a groan.
“I think you’re all base instincts, Dr. Hill.”
“I think you’re the one that brings it out of me, little gem.”
She groans as I stroke her pussy, fingers in and out, curling around her spot. I slide out and rub her clit, kiss her neck and shoulders, tease and bite her hard, pink nipples, making her back arch.
She grabs at my belt, tugging and pulling it off. I let her unbutton my slacks and they fall to the floor in a puddle. I kick them aside, my cock hard as hell, pushing against my cotton boxer briefs.
“I guess this is just what I do for my Daddy,” she whispers to me.
I let out a groan. “That’s right. Say it again.”
“You’re my Daddy.” She looks up at me, pulling down my briefs. She takes my cock in both hands, slowly stroking me. I lean both hands against the edge of the desk. “You’re my big, hard Daddy.”
“Fuck, Ruby,” I groan. “What is it about you that drives me so fucking insane.”
“Maybe it’s because I love to suck your cock?”
She pushes me back and drops to her knees. I don’t know what’s coming over her but it’s so fucking sexy. She opens her mouth and slides me past her teeth, into her throat, running her tongue along my shaft.
I groan as she sucks me faster. I pull her hair, push her down, make her gag. I love watching her suck my massive cock, or at least trying to.
But I can’t stand it for too long. I know I can’t stand it. I have to have her.
I pull her to her feet, push her back to the desk. She gasps as I spin her a
round, grabbing one arm and pulling it up behind her back. I push her down onto my desk, pinning her there.
“Oh, shit,” she gasps.
I use my other hand to tease her wet pussy. “A little pleasure. A little pain.” I spank her, move back to her pussy.
She groans again. I tease her with my cock, sliding it up and down her gaping, wet pussy. I bite my lip as I slowly sink myself between her legs.
“Fuck,” she groans.
I release her arm. She grabs onto the desk with both hands as I hold her ass, cupping it at first, sinking myself deeper and deeper until she’s gripping me completely, pussy wrapped around my thick cock.
I move back and start to fuck her. I grab her hair, slap her ass, cock moving deep in and out. She wiggles her hips, taking me further, making me moan.
“You like swallowing Daddy’s big dick with your pussy, don’t you?” I grunt at her, losing myself in the moment.
“I love it so much.”
“You’re such a filthy girl, absolutely filthy. So fucking dirty.”
“I’m so bad,” she gasps. “I need to be punished.”
“That’s right.” I fuck her harder, slap her ass. “You need your Daddy to punish you.”
“Otherwise, I’ll just keep being bad.”
“You’ll never fucking learn.”
I fuck her harder, groaning. I reach around her hip to work her clit, making her body tremble. Sweat’s starting to roll down our skin as I keep going, moving with her, feeling her work her back and hips, sliding along my cock.
I work her clit, fucking her deep. I hold myself deep inside her cunt and rub her clit fast, making her gasp and shake.
I pull back, spinning her around and hefting her up onto the desk. She wraps her legs around me as I thrust myself back into her wet pussy. She keeps her arms around my neck and I support her ass with both my hands.
I thrust hard into her. I love the way her breasts shake, her moans get deeper, her lips tremble. I love her skin and her taste and every little motion she makes.
I love her hips, her ass. I love her tongue.
I love the way she moves her back and slides along my hard cock.
I love the way she feels when she comes on my big dick.
I thrust faster, faster. I use one hand to work her clit. I rest her back down onto the desk, her arms still around my neck, one hand in her hair and the other between us, rubbing her clit in circles.