“Of course you can, dear.” She decided to just shut up and listen. He would come out with it soon enough. She dug into the omelet. It didn’t disappoint.
Steve was a little more plain in the looks department. He had medium brown hair and blue eyes. Very ordinary really. He had no idea why Claire married him, but he wasn’t complaining. He was madly in love. Over the years, many people had made comments about how she was out of his league. Never to their faces, of course, as people do. But Steve had heard some rumors. None of it mattered to him though. They were very happy and that was that.
Sometimes when Steve wanted to ask her about something, it was a good thing, but not always. Most of the time he just wanted to ask if she minded if he went off for the weekend with his buddies. Not that he had to ask permission, he just wanted to be sure to clear it with her first. He didn’t want to make plans just to find out they were already committed to something else that he had completely forgotten about. He was very considerate that way.
His weekends with his friends were all just harmless stuff, such as a golfing trip or fishing, or just to see a couple of ball games somewhere. She really didn’t mind that he went. She liked that he had close friends and went to do fun things with them from time to time. It was just that she had to deal with the kids all alone all weekend. They could certainly be a handful. After all, Dustin was only 8, and Hope was just 5 years old. They weren’t much help around the house and always made more work for her than necessary. She loved her kids dearly, but they really tested her when Steve wasn’t around. They were usually pretty good at obeying Steve, but not so much with their mom. Claire tended to be sweeter, more easy going, and the kids took advantage of that whenever they could. They had Claire all figured out, even though they were still so young. She was terrified of what they would be like as teenagers. A shudder ran up her spine at the thought.
Since Claire didn’t have an outside job, her house and kids were her life, and it could wear her down sometimes. Except when they were in school, she was rarely without them within a few feet of her, whether in the house or out running errands. They were much too young to leave at home, so they went everywhere with her. Besides, she was really afraid to be away from them.
Chapter 3
Claire’s pregnancy with Dustin and his birth were difficult. She had terrible complications during her pregnancy and was almost completely bedridden for the last three months. Then she suffered from over 36 hours of labor. It was hell, and during her labor she cursed the day they decided to have a child. The pregnancy almost killed the baby and the delivery almost killed her. In the end, it all worked out though. The second she saw Dustin’s angelic little face, she forgot all about the horrible labor that she just went through and said it was well worth it, and was almost ready to do it all over again.
Her doctor advised her to get her tubes tied right away. He said she would almost certainly die if she ever had another child. The news devastated Claire. She couldn’t imagine not having a large family. One child? That’s it? She adored Dustin, but that wasn’t enough. She wanted a house full of little ones.
Claire and Steve discussed it, again and again over the next couple of years. They were careful, so there was no need to be in a hurry, before they were absolutely certain this was what they both wanted.
Steve wanted more children, but wanted Claire more. He was terrified that he would lose her. Because of this, he was adamant about not having another child and she agreed. To a point. The problem was that she heard her biological clock ticking so loudly, it drowned out all sense of rationality or logical thinking.
She had always wanted at least three children, and maybe as many as five. She didn’t care what other people thought about that. She knew one child would never be enough. She also was smart enough to know that if she died during childbirth, she wouldn’t be around for Dustin, and that wouldn’t be fair to him or Steve. None of it was Dustin’s fault. He deserved to have his mom around while he was growing up.
Of course, Steve could always have a vasectomy. But, ultimately she was the one that needed to be protected from ever getting pregnant again. It was her life on the line. They didn’t plan on ever splitting up. No one ever did. But, what if they did split and Steve wanted another child? Or, what if they decided to use a surrogate mother? Steve could still have more children either way. It shouldn’t be her fault that he couldn’t have another child. They really didn’t have any concrete plans yet. So, she reluctantly agreed to have her tubes tied.
Claire went to her pre-op appointment alone. Steve had to work as usual. It was just routine stuff anyway; blood work, taking her vitals, lots of medical history questions, a few tests. Nothing out of the ordinary. The doctor said everything looked fine. They were just waiting on a couple of test results, and would proceed as planned. The procedure would be in one week. Steve would come with her for that.
Two days later, she got the call that would change her life.
“Hello?” she answered on the second ring, like she always did.
“Hello, Claire?” said the voice on the other end. She recognized it immediately and felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach.
“Yes, hi,” was all she could manage to say.
“Claire, this is Dr. Everson. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Is something wrong?” She was instantly worried. Her doctor wouldn’t have called her at home unless there was a problem.
“Well, yes. Your blood work came back today, and there is a problem.” He never was one for beating around the bush. She liked him for that.
“What is it?” She could hardly breathe and started looking around for a chair to sit in.
“Well, to put it bluntly,” he never did it any other way, “you’re pregnant.”
She gasped. Then she was speechless. She tried to speak, but nothing would come out. It seemed like hours just flew by while she stood there in the kitchen holding the phone. Where is that damn chair? she thought.
“Claire are you still there?”
Finally, she could speak. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry. I guess I was just in shock there for a minute.” She closed her eyes and took a calming breath as she sat down.
“I know. I’m sure you are. It’s something you obviously didn’t expect.” Dr. Everson was well acquainted with Claire’s medical history. He had been her doctor all through her pregnancy with Dustin.
“That’s putting it mildly. Well, now what am I going to do?”
He could hear the worry in her voice. “Well, I really only see one option, that is to terminate the pregnancy.” Right to the point as usual. He felt empathy for the predicament she was in, but knew he really couldn’t give her any other advice. It was a matter of life or death for her. He knew it, and more importantly, she knew it.
Without even thinking about it for a second, “You know I can’t do that. I can’t kill my baby.”
“I don’t see that you have any other choice, Claire. If you keep the baby, you will probably both die. You know that. Last time you were lucky. Very lucky. You can’t gamble with your life again.”
He made it sound so grim, she thought. But she knew he was right.
“I understand. I know the problems and the risks. I need to talk to Steve and I’ll get back to you in a few days. Will that be all right?”
“That will be fine. But please don’t take too long. The longer you wait, the harder this will be.”
“Okay, thank you.” She hung up the phone with trembling hands.
Then she just sat there at the kitchen table until Dustin snapped her out of it with his crying. It was lunchtime and she hadn’t even realized it. She got up and took care of him and put him down for his afternoon nap. She never even took the time to eat lunch herself. Her mind was on only one thing, and she couldn’t decide if she was devastated by the news, or elated. It was the last thing that she expected. They thought that they had been careful in preventing a pregnancy.
A few hours later, Steve finally arriv
ed home and she put Dustin in his play pen to play by himself for a little while. “Mommy and Daddy need to talk,” she told him. He gave her no trouble at all and went about building a castle with his blocks.
Claire was scared to death that he would be angry, but she told Steve all about her conversation with Dr. Everson. He was just as much in shock as she was. He never wavered though. He was as much against termination as she was, but he didn’t want to lose her. He knew that if she went to term with the pregnancy, that he would probably lose them both. So, what was really the point of keeping the baby if they were both going to die anyway? He knew that Claire agreed with him, but he couldn’t put it like that to her. He needed to be gentle. He knew how much she wanted another child. He knew the news was devastating to her. It was one thing to get her tubes tied and prevent any future pregnancies. Children who never existed were something she could put out of her mind. But, to actually terminate a child was a whole different story. He didn’t know if she could handle that. Oh, he knew the pain would ease in time, but it could really mess her up for a while. And, in the meantime, they still had a little boy that needed his mommy. Dustin would never understand her grief for a child he never knew existed.
“Honey, you do understand that we can’t have this baby, don’t you?” Steve said to her as reassuringly as he possibly could. He patted her hand in a comforting gesture.
“I know. Just let me hold on to her for a few more days, okay?” Claire looked down at her still flat belly, imagining what it might look like in a few months.
“Her?” he asked.
“It’s just a feeling I have. It’s the girl we always wanted.” She really did know deep down that it was a girl, even though she had only known she was pregnant for a few hours.
“I understand sweetie. I’m sure you’re right,” he muttered softly.
Steve didn’t say another word about the pregnancy for a week. He wanted to give his wife some space. However, Claire brought it up several times a day. She never said anything concrete, such as a name for the baby, or wanting to purchase anything baby related. But, she did come up with subtle, or not really so subtle, statements about the baby. For instance, a few days after the pregnancy announcement, they were out shopping for a new dresser for Dustin. His old one was just that, old. It was just a cheap dresser that they had found at a yard sale and was kind of falling apart. It was ugly when they bought it, but they couldn’t really afford anything nicer at the time. Dustin had outgrown the old dresser a long time ago. So, it was time for a brand new one. He was so excited. You would have thought he was getting a brand new car by the way he acted. Three year olds were so easy to please.
While walking around the furniture store, Claire spied the baby furniture section and made a beeline straight for it. She couldn’t help herself. She didn’t even take the time to think about what she was doing. Steve and Dustin practically had to run to keep up with her.
“Steve, isn’t this a beautiful crib?” She ran her hand along the top railing of the pristine white crib with the pink, flowery bedding. It really was beautiful.
“Honey, what are you doing?” Steve was worried about her and put the palm of his hand on her back, reassuringly.
“Mommy, I’m not a baby. I’m a big boy now. I want a dresser, not a baby bed.” She had almost forgotten Dustin was there. This made her snap out of it.
She kneeled down so that she was looking him right in the eyes. “Of course you’re a big boy now. How could I forget? Look at you all big and handsome.” And, with that she scooped him up in her arms as he cried out in glee.
“Let’s go see the big boy dressers!” she exclaimed as they almost trotted to the children’s furniture section of the store. Steve let out a sigh as he followed them.
They had made an entire afternoon of it, with shopping and lunch, and even a short stop at her sister’s house. Claire wanted to drop off a book, Girl Lost, that she had borrowed from her sister a few weeks prior. It quickly became one of Claire’s favorites. Steve tried to get her to skip the stop at Sissy’s house. He was afraid Claire would tell her about the baby, but she didn’t, much to his relief. She had promised she wouldn’t.
When they arrived home that afternoon, everyone was exhausted. Steve carried a sleepy Dustin to his room and put him down for a nap. Dustin had fallen asleep in the car as soon as they pulled out of his aunt Sissy’s driveway. When Steve came downstairs, Claire was already curled up on the sofa with the new book she had borrowed from her sister that day. He sat down next to her. Claire didn’t even look up.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Steve asked tentatively.
“Just a second, let me finish this page.” Claire seemed a little annoyed at the interruption.
A few moments later she picked up the bookmark that was lying on the table beside her and put it in the book. Then she set the book down on the same table and looked at Steve.
“Claire, we need to talk about the pregnancy.”
“What about it?” She actually sounded like she had no idea what he was about to say.
“You need to call the doctor and schedule the appointment.”
Claire hesitated only a moment before she spoke. “I can’t do that Steve.”
“What do you mean, you can’t do that? If you don’t want to make the appointment, I will. Where is the doctor’s phone number?” He started to get up to find their address book.
Claire grabbed his hand and pulled him back down on the couch next to her. “No, Steve, I don’t think you understand. I can’t do it. I want to keep my baby girl.”
Steve turned white.
“You know that’s impossible.” He had never been so scared in his life.
“No, it’s not. I want this baby and I’m going to keep her. I had problems when I was pregnant with Dustin and everything turned out fine. Didn’t it? There’s no reason why this one won’t too. What do you think of the name ‘Hope’? Fitting, isn’t it?”
Chapter 4
No amount of begging and pleading would change Claire’s mind. Steve even asked the doctor to try. He did. It didn’t help. There was nothing Steve could do, so he resigned himself to the inevitable. He would probably end up raising Dustin alone. Claire was only 25 years old and much too young to be taking the crazy risk that she was taking.
Fortunately, that isn’t what happened at all. Claire went to the doctor every single week of her pregnancy. This is something that her doctor and Steve insisted on. Yes, she knew it was a very high risk pregnancy, and even though she insisted on going through with it anyway, she did want to be smart about it. She easily agreed to this simple request of Steve’s.
Her doctor kept an extremely close eye on her, even calling her at home a couple times each week.
“Hello, Claire. It’s Dr. Everson calling to check up on you.”
“Hi Dr. Everson. Everything is fine here. I’m staying off my feet and getting tons of rest, food, and fluids. I promise I’ll call you if there is anything at all to report.”
It was the exact conversation every single time he called, and Claire fought the urge to roll her eyes at him, fearing that he would be able to tell what she was doing just by the tone in her voice. He started getting on Claire’s nerves after a while, but she let him do what he felt he needed to do to keep her safe. She was going against his medical advice, so she let him have his victory. She saw him every week and took all of his phone calls.
The pregnancy progressed uneventfully. The delivery was smooth and quick. It couldn’t have gone any better. Their baby girl was born at 8:45 in the evening and weighed in at 7 pounds, 14 ounces. A healthy, beautiful girl. Steve was never so happy in his life for a doctor to be wrong. He couldn’t tell if it was just because he was a proud papa, or just wishful thinking, but he thought their daughter looked exactly like her mother. As it turned out, she did.
“I think ‘Hope’ is the perfect name for her,” Steve told his wife the first time he held his daughter and looked into her angelic face.
Hope was beautiful and everyone commented on it. Over the next five years she grew long, curly blonde hair. Her eyes were an aquamarine blue, something Steve had noticed immediately on Claire when he had met her in high school. Hope was the love of Claire’s life. Oh, she loved Dustin just as much, but there was something special about Hope. Maybe it was because she took such a serious chance with her own life and Hope’s life just to have her. Claire never really knew exactly. All she did know was that the little girl she wanted so badly, that she risked her life to have, was never going to leave her side. And, she never did.
Did Dustin feel the difference in his mother’s affection? Claire didn’t know. She thought he might, but she couldn’t help herself. She actually doted on both children, so if Dustin felt as if he were being treated any differently, she never really knew.
Though she hated being away from her children for any length of time, once or twice a year, Claire would find a babysitter and go have lunch and maybe a little shopping with a friend. It was heaven. It was a tough thing to set up though, because her friends all had jobs, or kids, or both, and had the same trouble she did trying to get away from it all. There really were only two friends she kept in touch with on a semi-regular basis. To Claire, semi-regular was a phone call every few months and lunch occasionally.
Chapter 5
Steve finished making his omelet and sat down at the bar next to his wife. He looked at her with an expression that said he had something to talk to her about. She ignored him while she at her omelet heartily.
“Claire?”
“Yeah?” Taking another bite, her eyes never left her plate.
“Your 30th birthday is coming up,” Steve added matter of factly.
Storm on Wildflower Island Page 2