She softens her tone and comes around the back of my chair. Her shoulder rub is harsher and not at all sexual. Wait, did I just admit to myself that Diamond was trying to seduce me?
“You proposed to Claire so quickly. And then you got married quickly, and Aidan was an instant baby. Just add water and poof!” She illustrated the ‘poof’ with her hands and places them back on my neck, giving it one last squeeze.
“Bianca, can I trust you? I mean, really trust you?”
“Sure, I am not one to run to a woman with every tidbit just because she’s a girlfriend. Now, if you tell me you are banging the nanny or Princess Pouty Face, I will sing like a canary. But otherwise, I can keep quiet.”
I sigh and rub my hands on my thighs. “We did move too fast. I was falling in love with Claire for sure. That part is indisputable. But I felt pressured because of the whole baby thing. She was dying to be a mother. And I felt like I sold her on that and the whole adoption thing. But she was a lot older than me, and I didn’t want to drag it out so she would be a mother in her forties, like my mom.”
“Claire is a great mother, and I don’t think you’re saying Aidan was a mistake.”
“No, of course not. I guess what I’m saying is that I felt pressured, and I also felt that asshole Justin breathing down my neck. He didn’t just give up on Claire when we started dating.”
“Yeah, I remember. But I think some of that was in your head. Claire really wanted to marry you.”
“But Claire doesn’t have a great track record of doing things for the right reasons, and sometimes I feel like if Justin were a little bit older and he was the one promising motherhood, she would have picked him.”
I rub my head and begin searching for some headache pills in my drawer. That makes me think of Claire and the Excedrin/Ambien episode. And that blond asshole there to rescue her.
“I think you’re overanalyzing.” Bianca picks up her purse and kisses my cheek. “I have to go now. But you know I love you like a brother. We all do. Max, even scary Rob.”
She is trying to make me laugh, so I force a grin to make her feel less guilty and worried for leaving me alone with sharp objects.
“Thanks, B. Listen, I know we’ll work it all out. This ‘being a grown up’ thing sucks.”
“Tell me about it. I’m still serving fancy food to rich uptight assholes and living with my mother with a baby and my non-committal, immature boyfriend. But who’s complaining.” She blows a kiss and walks upstairs to say goodbye to Mick and get off to the snobby asshole lunch.
I stare at the computer and calculate that I have only written five hundred words this morning. Fuck.
Tatiana has the kids under control. Too bad she can’t do the same with her tits. When Claire gets back we are interviewing grannies and nuns for this job. In the meantime I need to learn how to say, ‘Put some fucking clothes on, you crazy whore,’ in Russian.
I decide to close my laptop for now and do some singing. Practicing a few new tunes should get out some of my frustration. Karaoke. What the hell did that guy do to get her to sing with him? It’s like he has a fucking magic wand. He just better keep it in his pants.
Justin
“She said that?” I’m shocked to hear what Claire confided to Greta during their pseudo job interview.
“Well, I asked how long she has known you and I was fishing a bit. I had a feeling there was some kind of previous romantic involvement there. After all, I have known you since you were a baby. I changed your—”
I hold up my hand. “Yes, I know. You changed my diapers. Don’t make me lose my lunch.”
We are dining away from the conference this afternoon at a classy waterfront restaurant. Nothing but the best for Greta Erickson.
She laughs and covers my hand with her bejeweled one. “I’m sorry. Anyway, I probed a little and she mentioned that you and she were having a wonderful time on this trip, and everyone keeps saying it appears that you’re on your honeymoon.” Greta takes a bite of her swordfish and dabs at the corners of her mouth with the heavy cloth napkin.
“Yeah, people keep saying that, but that doesn’t mean anything. And we are having a good time. You know, we really never dated. It was a flirtation at best. Her husband scooped her up before I had the chance to convince her that I was serious.”
“Too bad she didn’t know about your trust fund. You’ve had that money for several years now, right?”
“It became mine when I turned twenty-five, but I would never have wanted Claire to know how much I’m worth. Everyone at Bella Donna thinks I’m a smart, middle-class guy who got a scholarship to Princeton.”
“I understand that you want to make your own way. I’m just like you. Now your mother is another story. Libby has always embraced the society life.”
“Yes, but she does a lot of good. But I still don’t want my family stereotyped. Or to be wanted for my money. Not that I think that would have made a difference either way to Claire.”
“I think she’s just having marital trouble and looking at you wistfully. Like the one who got away. She didn’t say that in so many words, but she wondered why her time with you has been so carefree, and her honeymoon with her husband was not.”
I raise an eyebrow. “She actually compared this business trip to her honeymoon?”
“She did. But I told her that the reason the grass always seems greener on the other side is that it’s not real grass.”
“What does that mean?”
“You aren’t her husband, so you can enjoy doing things together without any attachment or effect on each other’s lives. This is how affairs begin. Then you end up in the same boat a few years later with the new person. Not that I think she’s considering cheating. I just wanted her to have the benefit of my mature wisdom.”
I laugh and sip my wine. “Yes, you surely do have experience.”
Greta smacks me under the table with her napkin. “You know you’re not too big to take over my knee. Never mind. That came out sounding terrible, didn’t it?”
She blushes and looks away, and then erupts into giggles, which she stifles in her napkin.
Becoming more serious, she says, “However, Claire did say that she thinks about divorcing Brandon sometimes, and that she panics because they adopted a child and have been married such a short time. I told her that’s normal and I have thought about divorcing David many times.”
“You didn’t tell her that he’s your fourth husband, did you? That would have lessened the impact of the message.”
She sighs. “You’re a bad boy. No, I didn’t tell her. I was trying to help.” She pushes an errant piece of hair back into place and continues. “I do think she has potential professionally, and that eventually Bella Donna will hold her back. We did discuss opportunities at Liberty Ink. I know she can’t relocate right now, or maybe ever, but I could see her working for us remotely if she could handle some business travel.”
“What did she say?” Now that this is becoming more real, I could kick myself. If Claire leaves Bella Donna, I will never see her.
“She said she needed to talk to her husband. Her sister apparently went to school in the Philadelphia area and she was familiar with our office’s location. Honestly, if she can swing it, I think it would be great for her.”
We finish up lunch and go on to chat about the latest antics of the Scott family of the Mainline. I have hid my lineage and wealth ever since I went to college at Princeton. With few exceptions, I live off of my Bella Donna salary.
Someday I’ll indulge and buy a huge home and fancy luxuries. I would also like to travel a lot more. I keep thinking when I find the right woman. Hopefully that won’t backfire, making me look dishonest for hiding my wealth. I may need to rethink my plan.
I have to stop thinking of Claire in these terms. Greta is right. Claire and Brandon are like any other dual career, married couple with a young child. I have never lived in that world and it is foreign to me. I can, however, continue to be her friend and help her ov
ercome her fears and let her hair down. Her silky, fair…
This afternoon’s activity is my treat. Bella Donna’s expense budget doesn’t cover private boat cruises. I told her two other couples were coming, but that’s not true. I reserved a private cruise for us and paid extra for the Captain to tell us that the other people canceled. I told the guy the truth—this is a married woman, but I am trying help her with her fear of the water, not impress and seduce her. He probably doesn’t believe me, but he’ll get a great tip.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Justin
“Oh my God, there are so many boats.”
Claire surveys the marina with the excitement and wonder of a little girl. Hasn’t anyone ever taken this girl anywhere?
As if reading my mind she says, “When Ron and I were married, he had a friend with a boat. Nothing fancy, just a good sized fishing boat. But we did go out on it quite a bit. Ron was always worried that I couldn’t swim. I am definitely enrolling Aidan in swimming classes soon, once he is two or maybe three. What do you think?”
We are waiting on a bench near our sailboat, waiting for the Captain to give us the go ahead to come aboard. Next to us is a middle-aged woman who has been continuously harassing her husband because their boat is apparently not ready yet. I glance at the rock on her left hand and the marble sized diamond earrings and shake my head. This is why I hide my money. I don’t want to end up with one of these annoying bitc…
“Did I just hear you say you can’t swim?” Our friendly bench neighbor interrupts before I can respond to Claire’s question, which was clearly directed at me.
Claire fidgets in her seat. This was exactly what I was attempting to avoid by booking a private cruise.
Before Claire can respond, I say, “No, she can’t. Do you know how to do everything, Ma’am?”
I bet my subtle use of the word ‘Ma’am’ has ticked her off more than my comment, since the one thing Claire surely has over her is youth and beauty.
She sits up straighter. “Well, no I don’t, but surely if you are boating you should be able to swim. And you’re a mother? How could you be a mother and not be able to swim?”
Her husband walks over and looks as though he is going to intervene, but I smile at him conspiratorially. My guess is that teasing his wife when she’s being a bitch is an activity he approves of. The guy looks a little beaten down.
Poor Claire tries to defend herself. “Well, my parents didn’t make me learn and I was afraid of the water. That’s why I want—”
“Honey, you don’t need to justify yourself.” I take Claire’s hand and she looks at me as if I’ve gone loony, but plays along with an angelic smile, in eager anticipation of my bullshit.
“Ma’am, it’s true she couldn’t do the underwater birth, but both our toddler, Aidan, and the twins came out just fine on dry land. At the hospital, of course.”
“You had twins? Recently?”
Our new friend lowers her sunglasses to gawk at Claire’s perfect stomach, which is on display in a floral print bikini. She’s wearing a long, gauzy cover-up skirt, but from the waist up, her beauty is on display. It is also obvious that her perky breasts haven’t been weighed down by weight, age and breast feeding. I take my eyes off Claire’s chest long enough to catch her eyes, which are thanking me for pissing off the nosy bitch.
“Yes, they’re only two months old. I thought I would whisk Claire away on a vacation so we could have some romantic time together.”
“Mr. Scott, your boat is ready. You can escort the lady onboard now.” Our friendly Captain tips his hat and beams at us.
I jump up and offer Claire my arm. She turns back to the older woman and unties her wrap skirt, as she says, “Have a wonderful evening. The sunset should be beautiful.”
I am not sure who is more impressed with Claire’s full string bikini display—me or the jealous old bag. Hmm, I think it’s me for sure.
I take another glance back at the woman, who looks a lot worse than my mother, in order to squash the arousal brought on by being this close to Claire in her…dammit, now I’m thinking about her sitting in the hot tub the other night and running out of the room naked.
It’s only Wednesday. This week needs to wrap up so we can both get home safely before we do anything stupid. Then I remember Greta’s words. Claire isn’t interested in cheating on her husband. She just needs to figure out how to make her marriage more carefree. But if Brandon fucks this up, it won’t be my fault.
I help Claire on board, and the Captain and his First Mate introduce themselves. They go about working the sails and getting us ready to begin our voyage. We listen to the safety lecture and remind them that Claire can’t swim. We’re enjoying chatting with them so much that Claire seems to have forgotten the other guests who are conspicuously absent.
“Hey, don’t we have to wait for the others?” She looks between the two men in confusion.
Captain Joe responds, “No, they actually canceled at the last minute, so it’s just the four of us tonight.”
“Oh, wow. That’s nice, I guess.” She smiles at me and I wonder if she’s thinking what I’m thinking. Was this a bad idea?
Claire
Maybe this was a bad idea. Justin looks edible in his white linen shirt. Carelessly buttoned and showing a lot of his broad chest, with just enough hair to be masculine without resembling a primate. And soon he will be wearing just his navy blue swim trunks. And that strong, muscular back will be on display and that stomach…I was distracted by all my distress over Brandon the other night in the hot tub in my room and didn’t fully appreciate Justin’s physical perfection.
Plus after I knocked myself out accidentally, I don’t remember anything that happened. Not that I am worried, but…I’m not doing anything wrong and we are well chaperoned on this journey. It’s probably just my Catholic upbringing that makes me feel guilty for impure thoughts. They are just THOUGHTS! I’m not going to act on them, and Justin is way over his crush on me.
I giggle to myself thinking about what he said to that woman. I’m sure I wouldn’t look like this if I had given birth, especially two months ago! But for once I feel young and sexy.
I return from my daydream to the boat, which has now left the dock. I quietly sit back and feel the sun on my face, listening to the men talk about boats, wind speed and various places they’ve been. Justin has quite a list of his own places. I wonder how he has been able to afford all of those trips. But a lot of people know how to vacation frugally, and he’s well paid for a young guy with no family expenses. Babies aren’t cheap.
Babies. I experience a twinge of sadness over the adoption opportunity we’re passing up. I am smart enough to know that a baby doesn’t help a rocky marriage, but I can’t help but feel it might have brought us together. And now I may have an opportunity to work from home.
Wow, this water is choppy. I took my Dramamine. Just a little over an hour ago. I almost forgot as I was rushing to leave the conference early and get changed to meet Justin. Tomorrow I must put in a full day of schmoozing to make up for skipping out early today.
“How are you, Claire? Isn’t this fun?”
Justin’s eyes remind me of how he looked when he asked me a similar question at a carnival in reference to the rollercoasters. I didn’t throw up that day and I am NOT throwing up now.
I force a smile. “It’s great!”
He leans back with a self-satisfied grin and my stomach rumbles and flips. I’m getting that light-headed feeling, and now I’m sweating. Shit. Think non-sick thoughts.
Justin is watching me and says, “Claire, are you sure you’re alright? Did you take your Dramamine?”
He leans in closer and I back away. I whisper, “I am feeling a little queasy.” I take a deep breath and frown. “I’ve been on boats, but not in this type of water.”
“Have you ever been on a sailboat?”
The First Mate, Jack, is observing our exchange, and most likely the change in the color of my skin as I begin to res
emble the Wicked Witch of the West.
“Claire, you know what helps with seasickness? Look at the horizon.” He points to the land ahead. I know this in theory but Jack doesn’t know that I have the queasiest stomach in the world. Whether it’s drinking, a virus or rolling waves, if there is any potential to throw up I am…
Everyone looks alarmed and Justin jumps up as I run to the ladder leading downstairs with my hand over my mouth.
Justin
Goddammit. Everything was going so smoothly. Now we’re all bumping into each other like clowns in the circus as Claire almost falls down the ladder and knocks herself out trying to steadily run to the boat’s tiny bathroom.
I follow her down, silently cursing myself for thinking this was a good idea. Maybe some of her fears are well founded, although she really can sing. We’re going to have to turn around. I don’t care about the money. She is going to be an emotional wreck with embarrassment.
“Claire, where are you?”
I hear her muffled, hysterical screaming, “Don’t come near me. I don’t know how to flush this toilet, but stay there.” Silence and then, “I mean it.”
I really want to help her, but I get it. I’m not her husband or one of her girlfriends. There is a limit to our familiarity.
The Captain calls down. “Try to get her to come back up on deck. She is going to feel much worse down there.”
I begin to climb the ladder to talk to him, and Jack comes running over. “Let me talk to her. I think she’s going to be too embarrassed to have you see her like this. You know how women are.”
I let him go, thinking he’s probably right. And obviously Claire is not the first person these guys have witnessed getting sick on the boat.
I return to the seating area and hold my head between my knees for a moment. “I know she’ll be fine, but I feel terrible about this.”
“Okay, Kid, here’s what we need to do. We definitely can’t stay on course because she is going to be miserable. As will you. I know you’re only on a business trip together, but women can bust your balls when you lead them into a bad situation. Am I right?”
The Juggling Act Page 13