“You have to know he’s interested in you. He stands there and looks like he wants to eat you up. Maybe he’s shy. Or maybe because he’s on the clock, he can’t be too blatant. Haven’t you noticed him hinting around about getting a coffee or something?”
Andy scowled. “A man who looks like that has nothing to be shy about. He’s stacked, Gale. He’s like a fucking Greek god. His muscles have muscles.”
Okay, so Marco was good-looking, but Galen had a feeling Andy was seeing him through rose-colored glasses. He had a layer of baby fat that was plain to see in his pudgy cheeks. Andy’s reaction was so out of the ordinary for him.
“What’s this all about?”
Andy turned, box still in hand. “I want him to ask me out so badly. I don’t even care if we don’t have sex right away. I just want… I want to get to know him. All I’ve learned so far is he’s twenty-six, his name is Marco, and stopping here is the highlight of his day.”
“So ask him to have a cup of coffee or something.”
Andy shook his head. “I can’t.”
This was getting nowhere. “Why?”
“Because if he’s not interested, he’s going to leave, and I won’t get to see him again.”
“I’ve never seen you this worked up over a man. What happened to the guy who could go to a bar, snap his fingers, and have a line of men out the door, waiting to talk to him? The one who wanted to go out so he could get laid?”
A sadness clung to Andy when he sat down on the couch. “I haven’t gotten laid in months.”
“What? I thought—”
“I know. I keep going out and wanting to do it, but… I don’t know. It all seems so hollow. And I’m getting older. It won’t be long before I’ll be lucky if I can give head in an alley. I want….” He sighed. “I want stable. I want a guy to come home to every night, who will ask me how my day was, rub my feet, and then snuggle with me in bed. It doesn’t even have to be about the sex, though that would be good too. I just want to not be alone anymore.”
“And you think Marco is the guy?”
“I don’t know! I want a chance to find out. Is that wrong?”
It wasn’t. Galen wanted to blurt out that he was hoping for the same thing with Robert, but this one was all about Andy.
He took a seat on the couch, the box now far less important. “You deserve those things. You need to be with someone who will always love you, because you’re an amazing man, with a heart bigger than the outdoors. But, and don’t take this the wrong way, if you want to get to know this guy, you’ve got to step up and let him know.”
God, Galen needed to take his own advice. He liked Robert, and he wanted to know if it could go somewhere, but he was afraid. He wasn’t exactly sure of what, though. Maybe it was the fear that cheating was in his DNA. Or it could be that Robert would bail when he found out that Galen wasn’t a good bet for anything beyond a quick fuck.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Andy held out the box. “I should have given those to you already.”
Then, to his own surprise, Galen put the box on the table and turned his attention back to Andy. “They’ll be okay for a while.”
“Nah, go ahead and open it. I’m eager to see what you got today.”
“Are you sure? We can—”
Andy grabbed the box and thrust it into Galen’s hands. “Open it.”
His hands shook when he took the paper off the box. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. Robert had been damned sweet and far nicer than Galen deserved.
When the box was finally open, tears pricked Galen’s eyes.
He spun the smoky-gray vase in his hands, taking in every angle of the roses as their scent tickled his nose. He held them out, in awe as the light played over the petals. They were the most beautiful things Galen had ever received.
“Oh my God, have you ever seen such amazing flowers?”
Andy snorted. “You’ve been staring at them for almost an hour.” He winked, and the tease in his voice was obvious. “And the way you keep twirling that vase, they’re going to get motion sickness.”
“Fine.” Galen put the vase on the table, along with the others he’d gotten over the last several days. He had nowhere in his room to put any new ones, and all the ones he’d gotten were still fresh, and he didn’t have the heart to get rid of them. In this shoebox, though, space was a premium.
“I’ll see if some of the neighbors want some.”
“You’ll do no such thing! I love the way the apartment looks and smells. Besides, he sent them to you, and you should keep them just because of that.” Andy held aloft the small white rectangle. “Did you even read the card? ‘Next to you, a perfect dozen.’ I’m telling you, I nearly came in my pants over the whole big, romantic gesture. This is what I’m talking about. It’s what I want, more than anything. And you’re just…. Ugh.”
Andy’s pouty lips had narrowed, and his gaze was uncharacteristically not Andy’s warm one.
“Why are you looking at me like that, then?”
He threw his hands in the air. “Seriously? This guy sent you five dozen roses, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say you haven’t called him to say thank you or stay away or anything. Am I right?”
Every time Galen looked at his phone, he was tempted to call Robert. More than once he’d picked it up and had his finger on the call button, but then he chided himself and put the phone away.
“No.”
“So you’re going to string him along, is that it? Let him keep buying you flowers until he goes broke?”
“What? No!” He’d never do anything so…. Five dozen roses weren’t cheap, and Galen knew it. Maybe he was stringing Robert along. Who didn’t like being made to feel special? “You’re right. I’ll give him a call today.”
Andy’s expression softened. “Why haven’t you called him?”
Oh, there were many answers to that question, but the one that kept bobbing to the surface probably conveyed it best. “I’ve been looking at my life for the last week, and I can’t understand why he bothers with me.”
“You’ve said things like this in the past. I don’t understand where this is coming from.”
Galen turned to Andy, who smiled at him. “Ever wondered why I didn’t invite you over to my house?”
“Honestly? No. Why? Should I have?”
He gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Probably not. The thing is, you wouldn’t have measured up to my father’s requirements. By extension, you shouldn’t have met mine either. That day I met you in school? There was just something about you that was so genuine and honest.”
“My award-winning personality has gotten more than one guy in bed.”
“That’s not funny.”
At least Andy had the decency to give a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”
“In my life, you were the only person who didn’t make me feel like I had to impress or meet some kind of lofty goal to be friends with you. You were just Andy, and for me that was enough. You were the guy who was comfortable staying in and watching movies while eating microwave popcorn. The one who dragged me out when I would have stayed at home. You cared for me, sometimes more than I did for myself. I admit, I didn’t understand it then, but I’m starting to now.”
Andy pushed up out of his seat, leaned down, and brushed a kiss on Galen’s cheek. “You’re silly. You’re more than a friend, Gale. You’re part of my family. You’re like the big sister I never had.”
He scowled at Andy but couldn’t keep his composure at seeing his impish grin. Soon they were both cracking up, and a knot in Galen’s chest finally eased.
“I’m going to call him. I promise.”
“Good.” Andy looked at his phone and whimpered. “I have to get to work. Remember, I’m at the bar until three, but I’ll try to be quiet when I get back. Love ya.”
“Love you too. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about Marco. Talk to him. Use the advice you’re giving me on your own life, because it’s damn good.”
“I’ll thin
k about it.”
Andy gave Galen a quick hug, which Galen relished, and then he was out the door. Galen got up and wandered the apartment, inhaling the delightful aroma of the roses to center himself. He took a seat on the sofa, pulled out his phone, and scrolled through his contacts until he got to Robert’s number. He was surprised at how much his hand trembled as he touched the screen.
“Hello?”
For a second, Galen forgot how to speak.
“Galen? I can hear you breathing.”
“Uh, hi.” That’s it! Dazzle him with your witty banter. “How are you?”
The sigh that slid out of Robert sounded very much like the weight of the world was sitting on his shoulders. “I’m at Froedtert with Bree. Remember her?”
Galen thought back, and a face came to him. Oh, yeah. The girl who’d barfed on Robert. “Yes. Why is she in the hospital?”
“I found her on the street this morning. She was begging for money, and when I tried to talk with her, she collapsed. The doctors say she overdosed on something. They aren’t sure if she’s going to make it.”
When Robert’s voice cracked, Galen’s heart went with it. “Are you okay?”
“No, not really. I should be back at the shelter, but Noel said he’s got it covered. I just… I can’t leave her, you know? She doesn’t have any family, and if I go and she…. She shouldn’t be alone.”
Galen knew Robert was crying, and it made him uncomfortable. How many times had he been told growing up that boys didn’t cry? When the kids used to tease him about his family and the not-so-secret cheating going on under his nose, Galen would go to his room and do his best to be strong, and then curse himself when he failed.
“I’m sorry.” The words were trite, but he didn’t know what else to say.
“Thank you.” Robert cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. Was there something you wanted?”
“It can wait.”
“Galen, you can—”
A muffled voice caught Galen’s ear. He couldn’t make out the words, but when Robert gasped, Galen knew he’d gotten the worst news possible. It was no surprise when the call was disconnected. Galen wasn’t sure what he should do. He tried calling Andy, but he wasn’t picking up.
He looked around the room, the bursts of colors filling tables, shelves, bookcases. Robert could have written him off, but he didn’t. Instead he stepped up and was letting Galen know that he cared. Now it was Galen’s turn to give that back to Robert. He called an Uber and asked them to come pick him up. Robert was probably not alone at the hospital, but Galen had a feeling that Robert might need him now.
“I’M SORRY, Robert. I know how much you hate to lose one. We’re doing tests to find out what she was on, but it’ll be a while before we know.”
Dr. Ted Barnes’s words were a jumble of nonsense. Bree was dead and she shouldn’t be. They were supposed to help her, get her better. Instead, everyone in her short life had failed her. And that included Robert.
When he looked up, Ted was gone. Nurses bustled through the hall, none of them paying attention to him. He figured he ought to call Noel, let him know what happened. He’d worked with Bree before, and he would be devastated by her death. At least he had Lincoln to lean on. Robert had no one. He’d had hopes it would be Galen, but… God, despite his big, messy, loving family, Robert never realized how alone in the world he was.
“Robert?”
The familiar voice was like a warm caress on Robert’s battered heart. He turned and found Galen standing there, hands clenched at his sides. It didn’t matter the whys or wherefores—he was here. Robert pushed up out of his chair and lunged for Galen, wrapping his arms around the slender shoulders. He was grateful when Galen put his head on Robert’s chest.
“Are you okay?”
“Better now.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Robert shook his head.
“Okay, then we won’t. Should I take you home?”
Home. The word from Galen’s lips took on new meaning. How could Robert have become so attached to this man? It made no sense at all, but it had happened. He was struggling to find his way in the world, and it called to Robert’s heart. He didn’t consider Galen broken in any way, just bruised. Maybe that was the point. Being around Galen took some of the hurt from Robert’s heart, and hopefully, Robert could help buff out the years of dents and dings on Galen’s soul.
“I’m just going to sit here for a while, I think. I appreciate you coming, but you don’t have to stay.”
Galen slipped his hand into Robert’s and led him back to the small couch in the waiting room. “Then we can wait together.”
They sat holding hands for an hour or so. Neither of them said anything, which was okay with Robert. He soaked in the closeness and found it hard to remember why he’d always been so opposed to being with someone before.
Of course, the problem Robert had experienced in the past still existed. He was tied to the shelter. It had been his passion for most of his life. But now? He found there was life beyond the walls of the building—and the ones he’d placed around his heart.
“What happened to her?” Galen’s voice was soft, and it was hard to be sure he’d actually said anything at all.
“An overdose. I don’t know what she took, but it was too much for her system.”
“Oh. I’m… I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks.” Robert scrubbed a hand over his eyes, wiping the tears away.
Imagine his surprise when Galen leaned in and put his head on Robert’s arm. He seemed to know that Robert needed him but wasn’t exactly sure what he could do.
“She had a lot of pain in her life. There was abuse, prostitution, possibly rape. I know a lot of people would say she was weak for turning to the drugs, but she had those moments of strength where you couldn’t help but be in awe at her resilience.” He chuckled. “One day she took a group of our youngest and was doing her best to help them read a book. She wasn’t very good at it, and the kids were complaining because she kept stuttering over the words. She put the book down and made up a story on the spot. The kids were enraptured by her tale of dragons and knights and fairy princes.”
Galen gave a soft smile. “Not princesses?”
“Not for Bree, no. She was a very nontraditional young woman.” Robert coughed. “Actually, Bree liked gay men, because she was afraid of other guys. She always thought a gay man couldn’t hurt her. I tried to dissuade her from that belief, but she felt so certain that gay men were better because they wouldn’t….” He drew in a sharp breath. “Anyway, she tried hard to be a good person, but things were never easy for her.”
“So what happens now?”
Robert shrugged. “I’ll talk to the police, let them know what happened. I won’t hold out a lot of hope that they’ll find out who sold her the drugs.”
“Why?”
“Homeless people are virtually invisible, at least until they’re in the way. The police will come and roust them, get them off the streets, but something like this requires manpower. I don’t blame the cops. They’ve always got things going on, so something like a homeless kid ODing? In a perfect world, they’d find who did it and send them away for life. In reality, they’ll still be on the streets selling poison to more of my people.”
The truth of the words hurt. Ted wasn’t wrong. This hadn’t been the first time Robert had kept a vigil, waiting for someone to die. It never got easier, and it always made him question if he could have done something different.
“It’s not your fault.”
Galen might think of himself as hard and jaded, but there was an innocence there too. He spoke as someone who’d been hurt himself in the past.
“Who hurt you?”
Galen stiffened. “What?”
“You know I hurt and you’re trying to make it better, but it’s not just empty words for you. There’s something there that tells me you know from experience.”
He was quiet for a moment, but Robert c
ouldn’t fail to notice Galen’s hands tighten on his legs.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
Galen looked up, and for a moment, Robert swore he saw hope. “There’s nothing to say.”
Robert turned and leaned in to kiss Galen lightly on the lips. “So you know, if there’s something, you don’t ever have to tell me. Your secrets are always yours. If you decide to share them, then I swear to you I’ll hold them to my heart and never tell another living soul. Okay?”
A terse nod. “But there aren’t any secrets.”
“Okay.”
And that was it. If Galen wanted to share, Robert would listen. If he didn’t, that was his choice. Unlike Galen’s father, Robert wouldn’t demand anything. He would just accept having Galen in his life.
It struck Robert then that he wanted to keep Galen. He would do what he could to ensure their happiness. True, they hadn’t known each other long, and as Robert said, he didn’t do casual. But he wanted the chance to woo Galen. To give them a chance to know each other, see if they could mesh. It was the first selfish thing Robert had wanted in way too long.
“Galen? Could you take me home?”
Chapter Fourteen
THE NEXT few days flew by for Robert. A lot of favors were called in so they could give Bree a proper burial. He’d dipped into his reserves to pay for a funeral that Bree would have appreciated. Big bouquets of snow-white thistle flowers were spread around the room. Nearly everyone from the shelter came, even Billy and his mom. She told him she was going to name her baby Bree, because no one should forget the woman who tried to spread sunshine, even when her life was so dark.
He and Noel had convinced her to come in for an appointment to make sure the baby was healthy, and she agreed, which pleased Robert greatly. In the end, Ted said she was going to have a girl and, from everything he could see, the baby was healthy. Robert spent several days trying to put together a place for Billy and Elaine Cassidy. Eventually, using her pregnancy as leverage, he found them a halfway house and got a promise of job training. Plus, he got Billy back in school with a stern lecture of how he needed an education if he was going to be the man of the house. Billy had puffed up his chest and promised he would do right by his little sister.
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