“No thinking. Tell me what’s going on in your head?”
“Why am I here? I don’t belong.”
“What? Of course you do. My mom loves you, and Dad keeps checking to make sure you’re okay. How in the world do you not belong?”
He bit his lip and tried to turn his head.
“Uh-uh, no. Look at me, Galen.”
He slowly returned his gaze to Robert’s face. It was eating him up inside, that much was obvious.
“Talk to me.”
“Tom is doing everything for Brian. He was actually feeding him, and it was… I don’t even have words. It was so intimate and I felt like I shouldn’t be here, witnessing something so perfect. You all take care of one another. I… I don’t even know what that means. If Andy hadn’t taken me in, I would probably have ended up on the streets. I’ve never had to care for myself, let alone anyone else. I don’t think I can do it.”
Of course. “Galen, can you tell me where this is coming from? Please, I swear not to tell anyone what we talked about.”
Conflicted emotions played out on his face. Sadness seemed to be the most obvious. “When I was a kid, maybe eight years old, I came home from school and found Father waiting at the door. He stood over me and demanded I tell him why I talked back to my teacher. I tried to explain, to tell him that she’d gotten something wrong in her explanations and she didn’t appreciate it.”
He squirmed and Robert took a step back, but not so far as to let him run or to break contact with him. He knew Galen needed something solid to hold on to, and Robert intended to be there.
“He stood there, impassive, nonplussed, and glared at me. See, I thought he’d be proud of me, because I wasn’t going to simply accept what she was saying was true. When he raised his hand and slapped me, I figured out I was wrong. It was the only time he’d ever hit me. From then on, no matter what I did to make it right, he would glare at me and tell me what a disappointment I was. And you know, those words hurt more than the slap did. I spent the next twenty years trying to show him I wasn’t a total fuckup.” Galen gave a rueful chuckle. “Guess I failed there too, huh?”
Even if he wanted to, Robert couldn’t stop himself from scooping Galen up in his arms and pressing their lips together. He’d suspected whatever Galen was hiding, it had to do with his bastard father, but to hear he’d hit a child? That was unconscionable.
“You are not a fuckup. You’re a man who was constantly crapped on by someone who should have been helping you to be your best. I’m sorry that happened.”
He sniffed, and Robert turned and grabbed a tissue off the counter. He held it up and pinched Galen’s nose lightly. “Blow.”
Galen frowned. “I can do it.”
“I’m sure you can, but right now this is me helping you. Blow.”
And he did. Robert was so proud of Galen for that one simple act of letting go.
“Thank you.” Galen sighed. “I won’t ever fit in here. I can’t take care of anyone like you all do.”
“Bullshit.” Robert leaned in and kissed Galen’s cheek. “If there’s one thing I know with absolute certainty, it’s that Galen Merriweather can do anything he puts his mind to.”
Galen looked up, and the pain in his eyes couldn’t fail to move anyone with a heart of stone. “How? I’ve tried, and nothing I did was ever good enough.”
“Come with me.”
He took Galen’s hand and pulled him out of the kitchen. His mother looked up, but Robert only gave her a small smile. She nodded, and Robert wasn’t surprised she understood. He led Galen up the stairs and into a small room, where he closed the door.
“This is my old room. Mom converted it into a sewing room about a week after I left home. I was okay with it, because she needed a place to work, and I…. Well, I think she knew I needed to move on with the life I was building. Do you want to know how I first decided to work with homeless people?”
“Okay.”
The memory was seared indelibly into Robert’s mind, and he hoped when he was old and gnarled, he would still remember it. “We were downtown shopping for school clothes. I was probably about eight myself. There was a guy sitting on the sidewalk with a sign saying he’d work for food. Mom gave him some money, then took me in to get some shoes. When we came back out, the guy was still sitting there. I asked Mom to take me to the McDonald’s across the street for a burger. When the food came up, I took the burger off the tray and walked out the door, with Mom hot on my heels. I went over to the man and held out the burger. He peered up at me, and I could see tears in his eyes. His hands trembled as he reached for the food, and by now Mom had caught up to me. The guy jerked his hands away, probably thinking Mom was going to berate me. Instead she knelt down and brought me closer to her.”
“What did she say?”
“‘Robert, can you tell me why you’re doing this?’ I looked at her and said, ‘Because he’s hungry.’ She gave me a smile and told me that was the right answer. I held the burger out again, and Mom told the guy it was all right. He still moved slowly, but when he got the burger, he tore the wrapper off and stuffed it in his mouth like he was afraid someone would steal it from him. When he finished, he gave me a toothless smile and said, ‘God bless you.’ That was the moment I decided I wanted to help him, or at least people like him. No one should have to beg for food. Our country has so much, and so many are stingy with what they’ve got. I can’t understand that.”
“But that’s me. We had so much, and never once did we think about anyone else.”
“Okay, that’s what I want you to think about. Those people downstairs? Who do you think raised me to care for others? Family. Friends. Helping out when you can. Those are the lessons that I learned day in and day out. My parents thought those were more important than anything school could teach me, though they did say it was important to be well-rounded.”
Galen’s breath hitched, but he didn’t protest. Robert decided to plow on.
“You say you can’t take care of anyone, and why is that? It’s been hardwired into me since I was a little kid. And that’s the words I want you to think on. Since I was a little kid. Those are the values I grew up with. You told me you were uncomfortable taking the check back, even though everything you were taught said you needed to be ruthless. Why?”
“Because…. When Noel was in the office and Father showed him pictures from when Lincoln was younger, it turned my stomach. Lincoln was his favorite son, and still he used him to get what he wanted. I hated him for that. When he told me to get the check back, I kept thinking I could make him proud finally, but the look on Noel’s face? That stayed with me. And knowing I was taking something from him that he was proud of? I felt about two inches tall.”
“So what changed your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
Robert directed Galen to the chair. “Sit.”
Galen sat but kept his gaze trained on Robert.
“You’ve been trying so hard to impress your father—what changed your mind?”
“My assistant, Olivia. She sat in my office one day and told me about her brother. She segued into how she knew I was gay, how I was too good for the place, and reminded me I wasn’t my father. Dad fired her because she wouldn’t let him fuck her. And now, because of him, my former assistant has no health insurance to help take care of her brother, who has what many might consider a debilitating disease.” Galen sobbed. “And I can’t fix any of it.”
Robert knelt beside the chair and took Galen’s hands in his. “Sweetheart, you can’t fix all the problems. You only do what you can to make the world a better place. Sometimes it’s something big and grand, but so often it’s enough to give someone a smile.”
Galen pulled his hand away and scrubbed it over his eyes. “And you believe that?”
“With my whole heart. I can’t solve every problem. If I could, there would be no war, no hunger, no disease, and no homelessness. But I do what I can. There are days it gets me down, because I wish I could do more,
but when I feel like I’m failing, I call home. Mom and Dad are always there for me.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Robert thought about it for a moment, but then he had an idea. “Tomorrow morning I want you to be ready at ten. I’m going to come pick you up, and we’re going somewhere.”
Galen gave him a suspicious glance. “Where?”
“You’ll find out when we get there. I need to talk to Andy. If you feel like coming down, please do. If you’d rather not, you’re welcome to sit here for a bit. And, if you want, I’ll take you home in about fifteen minutes. But, for my sake, I hope you’ll stay. Okay?”
Galen nodded.
“Good.” Robert got up and kissed Galen’s head. “I’ll be right back.”
And with that, Robert got up and took the first steps toward helping Galen find out who he had the potential to be.
“WHEN YOU said be ready at ten, I didn’t think you were going to be here at eight.”
Robert chuckled. “I wanted to take you to breakfast before we went.”
“Where are we going?” Galen had tossed and turned all night wondering. “Do I at least get a hint?”
“Nope.” Robert turned and brushed their lips together. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”
Trust? God, that was in such short supply. But Robert? He had earned a chance at it.
When they’d left his parents’ home the previous night, Robert had told Marco he would take Galen home. Andy protested but then agreed. Now he was somewhere with Marco, and Galen hoped they were having fun.
“Yes, I trust you.”
“Good. Get dressed. Something casual, and not something you mind if it gets a little dirty.”
Dirty? “That doesn’t sound like this is going to be fun.”
Robert leered. “You have no idea how much fun getting dirty can be.”
God, Robert’s voice was hot when it got deep and growly. Galen wanted Robert to shove him against the wall again, but this time he wanted Robert to spread him and take him from behind.
“Galen?”
He shook his head to clear the image of Robert, balls-deep inside him, the sweat glistening from his body.
Robert chuckled. “What are you thinking about?”
Galen turned, hoping Robert wouldn’t see his cock lengthening in his pants. God, being near Robert did such things to Galen’s body. He’d never wanted another man as badly as he did the one standing in front of him.
“You know, I don’t do casual.”
Galen groaned. “Yeah, you’ve said it once or a thousand times.”
Robert leaned in and kissed Galen. No, not a kiss. He ravished Galen’s mouth. When Robert reached under Galen’s shirt and stroked his hands over Galen’s chest, Galen whimpered. Then he took a step back, and a whine slipped from Galen’s lips.
“See, I believe what my parents taught me. A committed relationship brings the most fulfilling sex. I don’t want to rut mindlessly, because you deserve more than that.” He put a hand on Galen’s head and tilted it sideways, then locked his mouth on the tender flesh and sucked hard. Galen didn’t doubt Robert was marking him. Robert drew back, and Galen shuddered when he saw Robert’s pupils were wide, almost blotting out the color. “You deserve so much more, Galen.”
“But—”
“When the time is right, we’ll both know. I want it to be special, where we can take our time and learn each other’s bodies. I don’t want to fumble around with you like a high school boy. I want to make love to you like a man.”
Oh, holy shit. Goose bumps erupted on Galen’s arms. Robert’s voice was soft and tender but held an air of dominance to it that spoke to Galen. He’d never been made love to, and now he craved it more than he thought possible.
“Robert.”
“We should go.”
“What?” The kiss muddled his mind. Galen wanted to stay here, even if all they did was kiss. He already craved it, needed Robert’s lips, tongue, and even the occasional sharp bite from his teeth.
“Come on. We have a lot to do today, and you’re going to have a tough decision to make by the time we’re done.”
“Wait. What do you mean, I have to make a decision?” It was easier for Galen when he was told what was expected of him. He could never disappoint anyone that way.
“You said you’d trust me, so don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
“Promise?” Fuck. The word was a literal whine. Way to show what kind of wuss you really are.
“Yes, I promise. Come on. Time’s wasting, and we have an appointment to keep.”
Robert was going to be the death of Galen. He’d never imagined a future where he could be open and free to be with who he loved, but he was starting to imagine it, and Robert appeared in every bit of his fantasies.
Chapter Seventeen
“WHY ARE you hedging?”
Galen couldn’t help but be intimidated by the building in front of him. The Wisconsin Humane Society was a sprawling complex. Galen had never been inside, but he’d heard a lot of incredible things they’d done in service to the community and the animals they found homes for.
“Why are we here?”
“Come on. You’ll find out.” When he didn’t move, Robert took his hand and pulled him along.
They entered one of the glass doors, then turned and went through another set. To the left there were rooms set up that had cats and kittens in them. In front of them was a sign that said Dogs. Galen was confused as heck, but even more so when the door opened and Marco and Andy came in.
“Hey, Gale!”
Andy had that glow about him that he had when he’d been fucked within an inch of his life. He leaned against Marco, who had an arm over his shoulder. Those two were made for each other. That much was obvious to anyone who looked at them.
“We’re going to look around, but we’ll catch up with you when you’re done.”
And with that, the two of them walked off together. A few moments later, a sweet-faced young woman stepped over to them, a tablet in her hand. “Hi, I’m Mindy. Can I help you?”
“I’m Robert Kotke, and this is Galen Merriweather. We have an appointment.”
“Oh, yes, sir. I have you down. We’ve got your number, and when you’re up, we’ll text you. It shouldn’t be long, though. One of our counselors will be with you shortly.”
“Is it okay if we look around?”
“Absolutely! We encourage you to wander and see what we have to offer. If you have any questions, your counselor will be able to help answer them for you.”
Galen crossed his arms over his chest. “One of you has to tell me what’s going on.”
“Come with me for a minute.” Robert led Galen into the corner, away from the bustle of volunteers and people coming into the shelter. “Do you remember telling me you didn’t know what it meant to care for someone? Well, most people learn compassion, loyalty, patience, self-esteem, and responsibility by having a pet. I talked with Andy last night, and he spoke with the landlord today, who said having a cat was fine.”
A cat? “Why the hell would I want a cat?”
“You want to care? Start with something that will give you unconditional love. Who only asks for love, affection, and food. They won’t judge you, and you can tell them things you’d never say to anyone else.”
Galen had never thought about having a pet. It wasn’t high on his list of things to ever do, but….
“Why are you doing this?”
Robert grinned, and Galen’s insides went all gooey. “We had a cat that would come to the house once in a while. He was feral and hated everyone. I started leaving him food, and while he ate, I would talk to him. Mom told me I had to be patient and let him come to me, but I didn’t listen. Suffice it to say, the cat showed me his displeasure when I picked him up.”
He lifted his sleeve, and Galen noticed the faded thin white lines.
“But it didn’t stop me from trying. Eventually he would let me
pet him. He’d jump on the seat next to me and allow me to stroke his fur. He even purred for me. But try to hold him, and he scratched and ran. The thing is, that was the year I realized I was gay. The cat and I would sit out on the porch, and I would pour my heart out to him. I told him about my crush on Zach Hernandez, how much it scared me to think about telling my parents, and so many other things. My dreams, my hopes—anything and everything I thought I couldn’t tell to another living soul, that mangy, lop-eared, psychotic cat heard it all and never once judged me for my thoughts.”
What a trip that would have been growing up. Someone to talk to about his parents’ affairs, why their nanny was there one day, then gone the next and a new one would appear. How he’d seen the chauffeur with his mouth on Mother’s neck, and how, instead of trying to explain it, he simply told Galen that one day he would understand. And he never did.
“Okay.”
Robert beamed a smile. “Really? I swear you won’t regret this.”
There were still problems, however. “I don’t have any money to adopt, and I don’t know that I can afford to care for a pet.”
“Already taken care of.” Robert leaned in and kissed Galen’s cheek. “Thank you for letting me do this for you.”
Robert’s cell chimed, indicating it was time for them to go up front. When they did, another woman, this one with her head shaved to stubble on one side, and longer electric blue hair on the other, met them with a huge smile that showed off amazingly white teeth.
“Good morning. I’m Amanda, and I’m going to be your adoption counselor today. I see by your online profile that you’re interested in a cat. We’ve got plenty to choose from, so if you’ll come with me, I’ll show you to the habitat.”
They stepped into the glass enclosure Galen had seen when they entered the building. The volunteers were busy changing litter boxes, giving the cats water, and putting food in their bowls.
“As you can see, we’ve got feline friends ranging from kittens to older ones. Any of them would make a wonderful addition to a family, though I would caution you to look at the signs on the door for each of them. Some of the older ones wouldn’t do so well if there are children or other pets in the room. They would prefer all of the attention to themselves.”
Galen's Redemption Page 16