Gun Shy

by Lori L. Lake

  Jaylynn fished some quarters out of her shorts pockets. “Darn. It takes six, Mom. You got any quarters? I only have three.”

  Her mother rooted through her purse and came up with a handful of change. “Here you go.” Jaylynn bent to insert the coins and when she stood up, her mother was eyeing her uncertainly.

  “What?” Jaylynn gave her mother a slight smile. “What’s on your mind, Mom? You look like you want to say something.”

  Her mother cleared her throat and looked at her daughter. She raised a hand up and swept a stray lock of Jaylynn’s blonde hair away from her forehead. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous or anything, Lynnie, but I have to say this.”

  Jaylynn stood, puzzled, her brow knit in concentration, as she waited for the rest.

  Janet paused as if searching for the right words. “Anyone can see how much you care about Dez, honey, and—and—well, we’ve never had a conversation about this, and maybe now’s not the time, but I need you to know it’s okay. Dave and I want you to be happy. Do you understand?”

  Jaylynn stood mutely, her hands in the pockets of her shorts. She felt her face flaming and had no idea what to say.

  Her mother stepped closer and slipped an arm around her daughter’s waist. “What? Have I rendered my gabby child completely speechless?”

  “No. I—I just didn’t realize—”

  “That I knew about you and Dez? Or I simply knew about you?”

  “Either—or both,” she stuttered. “But Mom, there’s nothing between us.”

  Janet erupted in laughter, squeezing her daughter around the waist. When she stopped chortling, she said, “Believe me, there will be.”

  Jaylynn felt the blush rising up her neck, across her ears and face, all the way to the top of her head. “Could you please tell me why everyone else sees this when I don’t?” She slipped away from her mother’s embrace and grabbed the cart, jerking it from the rack. She raised her eyes shyly to meet her mom’s amused gaze.

  “It’s plain as the nose on your face. Her face, too.” She ruffled her daughter’s short hair, then cupped her eldest child’s chin in her hand. “Your father would be proud of how you’ve grown up, Lynnie. He’d be very proud.”

  Tears filled Jaylynn’s eyes, and she moved to the side and stepped out of the way when another family bustled up to the rack. Her mom looked at her in alarm, “Hey, sweetie, you’re not supposed to cry on your birthday.” She put her arm around her again. “Come on. Let’s go get those antsy girls before they drive Dave crazy.”

  Jaylynn drove home from the airport feeling teary-eyed and slightly stunned in the wake of the brief conversation with her mom. How many years did she worry about telling her folks? How much had she strategized, role-played in her mind—and out of the blue the whole subject was moot. She needed some time to get adjusted to it. She wished she’d had time to ask a few questions—like, how long have you known about this, Mom? What is it you see when you look at Dez and me?

  She thought back to high school and how confusing the time was for her. Small and “cute,” she’d never lacked for guys to date, but by her junior year it seemed a useless expenditure of energy. She focused her time and attention on her studies, on running, and on her friend Sandi. Her schoolmate was safe to hang around. She could be in love with her, and no one, not even Sandi, need ever know.

  Not until the freedom of college, far away from home, did she allow herself to get involved with anyone. She never brought Dana home to Seattle or mentioned her to her parents. They’d only been together for about eight months, and they were eight of the most confusing and painful months she ever experienced. By the time they broke up, Jaylynn was a lot more jaded about love than she ought to have been. After the fiasco of her second lover, Theresa, she had all but given up, deciding she would devote her time and energies to causes that mattered to her: children’s issues, human rights, poverty problems. Issues were reliable; people weren’t.

  Now she wondered if her other relationships hadn’t worked out because someone else was always floating around out in the world, someone meant to be her soulmate. She felt the truth of that now. She didn’t think dreams lied, and nearly a decade and a half of dreams couldn’t be that far off, right? She turned off on Lexington and made her way into the house.

  Maybe I should go for a walk around the lake. But no, she wanted to see Dez so badly that just thinking about not seeing her actually made a hollow spot behind her rib cage hurt. Guess that solves that question. She smiled and shook her head. Oh, girl, you’ve got it bad.

  She checked her watch: 2:10. Well, let’s go call Miss Tall, Dark and Dangerous and see what’s happening.

  Dez picked up the phone on the first ring.

  Jaylynn teased, “You sittin’ on the phone or what?”

  Dez blushed. “It rang. I picked up.”

  “Ah, I see. So, whatcha doing today?”

  Dez wanted to say she’d been sitting by the phone, trying to make herself play her guitar, but really waiting for Jaylynn’s phone call. Instead she said, “Just practicing a little guitar. You got a better offer?”

  “No.” Jaylynn racked her brain for something to suggest, but she drew a total blank.

  “So you got ’em off on the plane safe and sound.”

  “They’re on their way.”

  “You ever play any basketball?”

  “Sure. In high school. I didn’t play in college.”

  “There’s a pick-up game over at Central later this afternoon. Want to go play?”

  “Who’s this with?”

  “Buncha female cops, mostly from the Saint Paul and Minneapolis precincts, get together to play on Tuesdays and Thursdays from four to six. It’s usually fun.”

  “Are we talking regular athletes or superhuman ones like you?”

  “Come on. Basketball was never my big forte. Besides, it’s been months since I’ve played. Been too busy bodybuilding. You’re in way better shape than me.”

  “Okay. I’ll dig out my hightops and give it the old college try.”

  “I’ll come by and pick you up at half past three, okay?”

  “Sounds good.”

  But Jaylynn found out Dez had exaggerated the extent of her rustiness. She was quick, powerful, and a decent ball handler. Blessed with long arms and great jumping ability, Dez could even dunk it. Jaylynn watched from the sidelines as the first crew of rough-and-tumble cops went at it on the floor. She didn’t know any of these policewomen, and most were good ball players. They were rowdy, but not flagrant foulers, and a lot of good-natured ribbing went on between the players.

  The game was fast and physical. Seeing how the black-clad Dez weaved and scrambled through the jungle of limbs was pure joy. She wasn’t even the tallest player on the floor, but she could outleap any of the others. Jaylynn watched Dez fake out the woman guarding her, thread the needle, and lay one up left-handed. She admired the way Dez could rocket a pass up the floor with unerring accuracy and follow so quickly that if the fast break shooter missed, Dez often got the rebound and put it back up.

  Jaylynn observed how the long-armed post, the two wings, and Dez moved about the floor, and she took note of the point guards on both teams. The point guard on Dez’s team wasn’t particularly fast but was able to make some incredible three-pointers, so the other team guarded her closely. Jaylynn knew shooting was not her strong suit. But if she was guarded closely, she figured she could penetrate and pass off.

  They didn’t keep score. The game wasn’t about numbers but about endurance. After the first twenty minutes, the guards ground down and needed a rest, so Jaylynn went in, accepting the ball on the sideline and passing it in to one of the forwards. She cut through the key and popped back up on top, received the pass, and put the ball to the floor. She surveyed the defense. Feinting right, she cut left around her defender, penetrating the top of the key. The defense collapsed on her, but she’d already located three of her four fellow team members. Looking left, she flipped a bounce pass right, and
the post snagged the pass and shot it for an easy eight-foot jumper.

  With a smile, she retreated to the other end of the floor. “Good one,” a husky, panting voice said in her ear. As Dez passed her, she whacked Jaylynn on the butt and kept moving to her position at the base of the key.

  Later, thinking back to the game, Jaylynn remembered scrambling for the ball, dribbling furiously up and down the floor, fast breaking right and left, and passing, passing, passing. The two opportunities she got for shots didn’t result in baskets. But her favorite play of the day occurred late in the afternoon when everyone was sucking air and worn down. She flitted around the point guard, stayed in her face, and generally dogged her until the scrappy woman bobbled the ball. As Jaylynn snapped it up, Dez and two players from the other team were on their way past her. Jaylynn got control of the ball, dribbled fiercely up the court, and streaked past the two defenders. She felt one breathing down her neck two steps before the key. So instead of going for the layup, she alley-ooped it up toward the backboard. Two long arms plucked the ball from midair and dropped it in the basket.

  “Perfect!” Dez shouted as her feet hit the ground. She spun and grabbed Jaylynn around the waist, swinging her up off her feet, a look of complete joy on her face. “That never happens. Nobody ever feeds me like that!”

  “Hey!” Jaylynn said, a happy grin on her face. “Put me down.”

  Dez complied. “On that note, I think that’s enough for one day.” To the protests of the other ballplayers, she shook her head. “I’m toast. It’s almost six anyway, so we’re outta here.” They moved off the court where Dez picked up a towel and daubed at her forehead. “Want to go get something to eat?”

  In disbelief, Jaylynn looked down at her sweat soaked T-shirt.

  “Geez, I’m even sweatier than you,” Dez. said “Pizza? Or how ’bout Mexican?”

  Jaylynn narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you’re not a Stepford Dez?”

  Dez laughed. “Why—because of the dinner offer or the sweat?”

  “Definitely the food. I’ve worked with you for what, eight months? And I’ve never seen you eat pizza or tacos.”

  “Join me at the local cantina, and I will display my great burrito eating talents. I’ll even buy on account of it being your birthday and everything.”

  “Okay, it’s a deal.”

  Later that night, as she lay in bed, Jaylynn thought back to the day and how much fun she’d had. She enjoyed the basketball game, though she’d definitely be sore tomorrow. Eating chili rellenos with lots of hot sauce and talking with Dez had been exhilarating. Two and a half hours passed in what felt like thirty minutes. She liked how Dez listened to her, giving her full attention and asking astute questions. She knew she was talking way more than half the time, but Dez held up her side of the conversation—she just had a more economical way of stating her points.

  Jaylynn harbored no doubts at all that Dez had changed, even though she didn’t know what brought it on. She wasn’t one to question it though. It would be interesting to see how work would go from Wednesday through Sunday. She rolled over and went to sleep to the salsa tones of Gloria Estefan on the CD player.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Labor Day passed without anything of note occurring at work. The following week, Jaylynn worked two extra days, covering the worst beat in their sector in a two-man car with Cooper. Cooper’s regular partner covered for Crystal who was on vacation with Shayna in Cancun. Jaylynn only had Tuesday off and was tired, though she was relieved to say that the low back pain she from the old duty belt instantly went away once she started wearing the belt Dez bought her. She couldn’t believe what a difference it made.

  Fatigued, Jaylynn lay around the house reading and taking it easy, knowing she had to go back to work on Wednesday. The only bright side was that she’d spend the next several nights riding with Dez again.

  From Wednesday until Sunday night, the week’s worth of work was rather routine. In the station, Dez was her same cool and distant self, but in the squad car she loosened up, though not as much as she did around Jaylynn’s birthday. By Sunday night, Jaylynn wondered if she’d see Dez at all over the next three days. Not a word was mentioned about doing anything together, and she was too nervous to bring it up. A gust of cool air breezed in from the open window on Dez’s side of the car. The hot and humid days of summer seemed to be over, which was fine with Jaylynn. One of her favorite times of the year had always been the cooler days at the beginning of autumn, and she loved the changing colors on the trees and the crisp night air. Right now it actually seemed chilly.

  She checked her watch, glad it was after midnight. The shift was finally over. As if she’d read Jaylynn’s mind, Dez did a U-turn on University and headed west. In less than a minute they were parked in the station lot.

  “You know,” Dez said, “after a shitty night like that, I feel like beating the crap out of someone.” She grabbed the door handle and kicked the car door open, slamming it behind her.

  “I think that’s what the last guy we arrested said, wasn’t it?”

  “You know what I mean. Was there something in the air tonight or what?”

  They’d spent the evening going from one domestic assault to another, and Jaylynn had to admit her frustration. On the last call, they’d physically restrained the drunken apartment dweller who’d beaten up his girlfriend. Paramedics took the bruised young woman off to the hospital with what Jaylynn suspected could be a broken jaw.

  Dez stomped from the car toward the station house and Jaylynn hustled to keep up with her.

  “Why do people have to be so damn mean and stupid?” Dez asked. Worst of all, Dez knew it’d be hours before she got to sleep. In a mood like this, she’d be lucky to catch any sleep at all. “I may as well take a trip.” She grabbed the stationhouse door and wrenched it open, then stood aside for Jaylynn to enter.

  “Thank you, Gallant Knight.” Jaylynn laughed. “I don’t know how I would have gotten that door open, much less handled the night’s lively activities without you.”

  Dez glared at her. She followed Jaylynn down the long hallway. “I’m just getting in my truck and driving until I reach water.”

  “That’ll be what? Two miles? I think you’ll hit Como Lake in about three minutes. What then?”

  Dez made a growling sound and kept on moving. They both signed out and started down the stairs to the locker room. Dez smacked open the door and went to her locker. She opened her wallet and checked the contents. “I’ve got sixty-seven bucks. Want to go to Duluth?”

  Jaylynn had her shirt unbuttoned and her vest half off. Over her shoulder, in a voice of disbelief, she said, “What? Are you nuts?”

  “Yeah. Certifiable.” Dez quickly stripped off her uniform and changed into blue jeans and a baggy bright green “Luck of the Irish” sweatshirt. She sat down on the bench and took off her shoes, scooped up a pair of sneakers, and jammed a foot into each shoe. As she tied them, she said, “I’m getting in my truck and driving to Duluth. You can come if you want—or not. Whatever.”

  Jaylynn hung her vest up on a hook in her locker. In her T-shirt she turned to face her partner. “You’re serious? It’s after midnight.”

  The only response she got was a grunt as Dez finished tying her laces, stood up, and grabbed her wallet and keys. “See you on Wednesday then.” She moved as if to go, but Jaylynn grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “Wait a minute, Miss Speedy Dresser. Give a girl a minute to get her act together.”

  Dez frowned. “You’re not saying you want to come?”

  “Sure. Let me get organized here. Not everyone is as lightning fast as you, at least not us normal people.”

  Dez crossed the floor and stood by the sink. She looked in the mirror and noticed her braid was in disarray. She went back to her locker for a brush, returned to the mirror to undo her hair and brush it out. She hadn’t expected Jaylynn to accept her offer. She’d imagined herself driving silently up the darkened Highway 35, good tunes on
the stereo, reaching the shores of Lake Superior before the sun rose. With a sigh of impatience, she decided she’d rather have company, even though she felt apprehensive about it. She started to braid her hair, then gazed in the mirror. The hell with it. I’ll leave it loose. I’m getting this damn mane cut one of these days.

  She wheeled around and marched back to her locker, dumped off the hairbrush, and rooted through her stuff until she found a black Twins baseball cap, which she mashed down on her head. She leaned back against the locker, crossed her arms over her chest, and let out another big sigh.

  Jaylynn said, “Okay, okay. I think I’m ready.” She cocked her head to the side as she watched Dez slowly straighten up. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  Dez nodded her head. “Let’s hit the road, Jack. But we’ll come back.” Full of nervous energy, she took off toward the door.

  Jaylynn shook her head. She thought, What will I do with you? You are certifiable. She allowed herself a quick chuckle, then jogged after Dez who was already halfway up the stairs at the end of the hall.

  As they walked through the parking lot, Jaylynn touched Dez’s arm. “I have one confession to make right here, right now, before we take off.”

  Dez glanced at her but kept walking. “And that would be?”

  “Within fifteen minutes of departure, I’m likely to fall asleep. But I only need a short nap,” she hastened to add, “and I’ll be totally perky when we get up there.”

  “Ohhhhh, I see,” Dez said in a droll voice. “I’ve invited a snoring companion. Well, don’t worry about it. I’ll keep the stereo up good and loud to drown it out. And for the record, it’s way over two hours up there. That’ll be quite the nap.”

  “Just letting you know.” Jaylynn paused as Dez walked on. “You can always un-invite me.”

  Dez hit the button on the keyless entry, and the interior lights blinked on. Impatient, she waved her partner forward. “Come on. Get in.” Jaylynn opened the door and climbed up into the shiny cranberry-colored truck. She settled into the comfortable seat as Dez started the engine, ejected a CD, and said, “Any musical requests?”