“Jax. Wait. Can we at least talk about it?”
“We could’ve talked about it anytime in the past three weeks, but anytime I called you? All I got was the runaround.”
“If I thought you were—”
“Serious about this project you would’ve taken it seriously?” I said tightly.
The embarrassed look on his face said it all.
Fuck. This is what I’d been worried about. I’d even mentioned my concerns to Nolan, but he told me I was paranoid and impatient. But the truth was right there.
I could’ve let it go.
I should’ve let it go.
But . . . I didn’t let it go.
“Let me guess. Because I walked away from a position at LI, you thought remodeling the bar was a cover that I used as an excuse to do nothing but fuck around in my retirement? Or maybe because I’ve owned the bar for a few years and hadn’t done anything with it, you figured there was no rush on getting this project underway?” I paused, forcing myself to keep my gaze locked on his. “Or this is the most fun option . . . you decided I wouldn’t stick with it, like I hadn’t stuck with Lucy or being Mimi’s father. Since you’re also aware I put Dallas in charge of reinventing the spaces, there’s a double whammy of irresponsibility—the oldest, alcoholic Lund and the youngest, flightiest Lund, who’ve both declined to work in the family business, will get bored, or we’ll find out there’s too much work involved, and we’ll just flit on to the next thing that catches our fancy.”
Walker said nothing.
“That’s what I thought. In hindsight, I’m glad that I didn’t ask your company to work on my apartment remodel. God knows what excuses you would’ve given me for that.” I opened the door. “What sucks for me is I suspected this lack of interest was personal, based on the kind of guy I used to be. I can’t honestly blame you for your hesitation in agreeing to get your company involved, Walker. But it sure would’ve been easier for all of us if you would’ve just lied and said Flint and Lund was too busy to take on any new projects.”
“Jax—”
“Don’t worry. That’s what I’ll tell anyone in the family who asks why you’re no longer associated with the remodel. At least that’ll allow me to keep some dignity in this situation.”
I walked out.
Sweet baby Jesus I needed a fucking drink after that.
I craved the numbness like I hadn’t craved it in a while. And it seemed I passed by every goddamned liquor store in the Twin Cities on my way to the city administration building.
As I sat in my car, I did ten rounds of breathing exercises, but they didn’t help calm me, or block out that little voice that kept urging me that one drink wouldn’t hurt.
That one voice was so loud that I needed twenty, or thirty, or fifty voices to drown it out.
I looked up the closest place for an AA meeting and headed there as fast as my wheels would take me.
* * *
• • •
The AA meeting reset my brain and my attitude so I could move on with my day.
With the reissued permits in hand, I met with the new construction company. A sizable check guaranteed they’d start the project first thing Monday morning. Money talks . . . so does the Lund name, and I had no problem using both to get this project back on track.
Neither Simone nor Dallas was fazed by the rapid change in the situation. They assured me they’d deal with all the issues that went with closing down a business—laying off the employees, moving the existing bar supplies into storage, breaking the news to the regular customers. That allowed me to deal with the next item on my list for today—taking Mimi to a drop-in hockey game at another ice arena.
Nolan appeared while Mimi and I ate an early supper—the man had an uncanny ability to show up during mealtimes.
I knew why he’d shown up. He and Walker had always been tight. So Walker had called him to admit how much he’d screwed up with me. But Nolan’s opinion wouldn’t change the outcome; I’d already reassigned the project.
My brother helped himself to a plate of shredded pork tamales—the meat wrapped in cabbage leaves instead of corn tortillas, making it healthier—a couple of slices of fried parsnips, an alternative to the usual fried plantains, and a sweet broccoli and green pepper chopped salad.
He and Mimi chatted before he addressed me. “Sounds like you had an interesting day, bro.”
“It was a productive day for a change.” I sipped my water. “It’s unusual to see you on a Friday night. No little fishes on the hookup for this weekend?”
“I’m taking a page from your ‘I can change’ book and staying away from my usual haunts.”
“Like ghost haunts?” Mimi asked. “Because Dallas said she’s gonna take me on a ghost tour.”
Nolan’s sharp look wasn’t unexpected.
“Mimi knows about Dallas’s plans because I told her; she didn’t hear it from Dallas at the bar.”
“Good to know.” After a few moments, Nolan said, “What are the two of you up to tonight?”
“I’m taking Meems to another ice arena for a drop-in hockey game. For comparison to the way things are being run at Lakeside.”
“Is that allowed?”
I shrugged. “My understanding is she can play with a girls’ team and on a mixed team until she reaches the ten-year-old bracket. I want her to explore all of her options.” I smiled at her. “And this is something you want to try, isn’t it, squirt?”
“Yep. Are you coming to watch me play hockey, Uncle Nolan?”
He smiled at her. “I’d love to come, short stuff. Thanks for inviting me.”
I scowled at him. I’d been looking forward to brooding by myself.
“Daddy, did you tell Mommy about the drop-in game?”
Shit. “Ah, no, sweetheart. I forgot. You can tell her about it tomorrow.”
Mimi shook her head. “She said she didn’t wanna miss a single game. You have to tell her.”
Great. This night was turning into a freaking party. “I’ll text her once we know that there’s a spot for you to play, okay?”
“Okay.”
I glanced at the empty plates and then the clock. “You’ve got time to load the dishwasher before we go.”
Nolan waited until Mimi was in the kitchen before he said, “What the hell, Jax? More hockey? Are you sure this is what Mimi wants, not what you want?”
“First of all, piss off. Secondly, I won’t know how other places run their games and what their coaching staff expects from her age group if I don’t expose her to other opportunities. And since you’ve butted into my business again, you’re in charge of getting her signed in tonight. That way she won’t get special treatment if I’m recognized.”
“Whatever. Now I wish I would’ve stopped at home after work, because these definitely aren’t hockey game clothes.”
He wore one of his fancy suits with the mismatched patterns that looked ridiculous to me, but I’d always been a conservative dresser. “I’d offer to lend you some clothes . . .” But none of mine would fit him.
“Thoughtful of you to offer, asshole. But then again, you’re all about spreading the family love today, aren’t you?”
I flipped him off.
* * *
• • •
Having Nolan check Mimi in to the drop-in game worked well.
We sat close to the players’ bench, and I wondered if I’d ever feel more comfortable in the stands than on the ice.
As soon as Nolan took the seat next to mine, he asked, “You get in touch with Lucy yet?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want me to text her?”
“I’d rather you didn’t. I want to focus on this and not have to deal with another fucked-up situation in my life, okay?”
“Uh. Sure.” He paused and got in my face. “Fuck that. It’s not
okay. What is going on between you two?”
“Nothing. Which is why I want one lousy hour for total concentration on the one goddamned thing in my life that I’m good at.”
No surprise my little bro had nothing to say to that.
To compare apples to apples, Mimi was playing on an eight-and-under team comprised of girls and boys. The rink setup mirrored the setup at Lakeside for Mites games: half ice with inflatable bumpers on either side to keep the players contained. Unlike Lakeside games, neither team had a dedicated goalie; it was everyone’s job to defend the net.
“Is it my family pride showing, or has that girl gotten way better at hockey?” Nolan asked me at the end of the second period.
Even when I’d thrust her into a new situation, she kept her focus on listening to her team’s coach and implementing everything we’d worked on the past few weeks. “She is better. But you can clearly notice her improvement because these teams are playing hockey, not standing around deciding what to do with their sticks.”
Just then Mimi got the puck and she had a moment’s hesitation. I found myself doing the one thing I swore I wouldn’t; I stood up and yelled, “Breakaway!”
Nolan muttered something about staying incognito, but my eyes were glued on Mimi as she skated to the opposite end.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from yelling additional instructions.
Come on, girlie, go for it.
She more or less pushed the puck into the net rather than hitting it in, but a goal was a goal.
Then her stick got caught in the net and she hit the ice.
Face-first.
She lay there and didn’t get up.
My instincts overtook my common sense. I launched myself onto the ice, reaching her after the ref did, about the same time Mimi sat up. Crouching beside her, my guts formed a knot when I noticed she was bleeding. I tilted her head back and looked at her through the mask. “What happened?”
“I thot a goal!” she lisped.
Why was she lisping?
My focus dropped to her mouth. Sure enough. One of her teeth on her upper gumline was gone.
I was a fucking dead man.
But for now, I was trying to gauge if she had other injuries as I said, “I saw it, squirt. That breakaway was perfect.”
“Wherth Mommy? Did sthe thee my firth goal ever? Did sthe video it?”
Lucy was gonna kill me twice for this.
“Mommy is not here yet.”
“Mimi, are you okay to play?” a familiar voice asked above me.
I glanced up and saw the referee was none other than . . . Gabi.
The universe was having a glorious time screwing with me today.
“Are you as surprised to see me, Lund, as I am surprised to see both of you?”
A swish of skates sounded behind me. The other ref asked, “What’s the holdup?”
“The player lost a tooth after colliding with the goal. Her dad is helping her off the ice.”
“No!” Mimi said. “Don’t make me go! I wanna play.”
For fuck’s sake. Seriously, universe?
“Maybe you should sit on the bench for a few moments,” Gabi suggested. “Catch your breath. Get a drink and wipe the blood off your mouth.”
Blood. Why wasn’t my little girl screaming at the sight of blood?
“Therth not that muth blood,” Mimi scoffed.
I heard a chuckle and saw that Nolan was taping us.
He wouldn’t find it so funny if I slammed his smarmy ass into the boards.
“Here, Daddy.”
Mimi held out her mouth guard. Inside the blood-dotted plastic mold was her baby tooth.
“Wanna thave it for the thooth fairy.”
I gently dumped it in my hand and stood up.
Gabi tried to confront me. Although I had several inches and at least seventy-five pounds on her, I felt small enough that it seemed she towered over me.
“Unauthorized persons on the ice usually results in automatic forfeit. But I’ll let it slide this one time due to an injury. But if you ever do anything like that again at any game where I’m officiating? I will throw you out of the rink. Understood?”
“Yes, ref.”
After I exited the ice, I turned to say something to Mimi, but she’d already skated off to the bench.
It was probably wrong to feel proud that she got right back in the game.
The second thing out of Nolan’s mouth after “Is Mimi all right?” was “Dude. You are so dead.”
Tell me about it.
Rather than freaking Lucy out and getting her to drive over here when the game was almost over, I took the chickenshit route and texted her.
ME: Hey, are you around? Mimi wants to swing by for something.
LQ: I’m home all night. Is everything all right?
No, you’re going to lose your shit when you realize that I broke at least two of the “hockey rules” we laid out . . . within the first month.
Instead of sending a text, I sent her a thumbs-up emoji, so technically that wasn’t lying.
Next to me, Nolan clucked.
Asshole.
* * *
• • •
Mimi’s team won with her one goal, and she was on cloud nine.
That’s probably why it was taking her so long to emerge from the locker room.
It also gave Gabi the chance to skate over.
Awesome.
“Cheating on Lakeside already, Lund?”
I bristled. “I could ask the same.”
“I can’t ref at my home rink, and I’m required to ref, so I have no choice but to rotate to other rinks for games. What’s your excuse?”
“And who are you?” Nolan inserted.
Gabi ignored him as she waited for my response.
“You know why Mimi needs to explore other options. Besides, it was just a drop-in game.”
“Where she scored a goal. Now she won’t want to play with her assigned team. It’s only a matter of a few practices before she’ll be begging you to move her to this rink, or one of the other rinks with a coach who isn’t a clueless d-bag.”
“I can’t solve the problems at Lakeside.”
“You haven’t even tried. Geez, Lund, I thought you of all people would call that little sucker out. But you just sit in the stands, during games and practices, doing nothing. Nothing.”
“Hey,” Nolan said sharply, “I don’t know who you are or what you think gives you the right to speak to him that way, but simmer down, sister.”
Again, Gabi didn’t even acknowledge my brother as her eyes were too focused on melting my resolve with her death-ray stare.
A whistle blew behind her and she turned and nodded before facing me again. “You’ve shown you can put up and shut up. It’s past time for you to man up, Stonewall, and you know it.” She turned and skated off.
“Who is that?”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Gabriella Welk, the assistant coach for Mimi’s team at Lakeside.”
“So? Who is she?”
“So, she’s also the Gabi Welk, outstanding player for Fargo North High School and winner of back-to-back state hockey championships, who was offered full-ride scholarships to every major college in the country with a winning women’s hockey program—including the University of Minnesota—all of which she declined and signed on with the University of North Dakota in hopes of bringing a women’s Frozen Four championship to UND. She was a finalist for the Kazmaier Award. She also played for the U.S. Women’s National Team for six years, and was part of the team that won two Four Nations Cups, in addition to winning three World Championships. She was a key player on the U.S. Olympic Women’s Ice Hockey Team in the 2010 and 2014 Olympics, winning two silver medals. Then she was chosen as the first female assistant coach
to the UND men’s hockey team, but she resigned in protest last year when UND eliminated the women’s hockey program. She moved to the Cities after her younger sister Dani transferred from UND to the U of M to play hockey, so Gabi could continue to coach her since Dani’s playing on the U.S. Olympic Women’s Ice Hockey Team in February representing the U.S. in PyeongChang. Lakeside was the only place Gabi could get hired on such short notice that allowed her to keep a flexible schedule.”
Nolan gaped at me. “How in the hell do you know all of that off the cuff?”
I sighed. “Margene. She likes me. She likes to gossip. She loves to brag on Gabi because according to her, Gabi is the one thing that Lakeside has going for it.”
“Well, watch yourself with her.”
“Why?”
He looked at me like I was an idiot. “Because Gabi’s got a crush on you, Stonewall.”
“Right. She basically told me I was an entitled prick the first time I met her. Only thing she wants to crush is my skull.”
“Lucy had the same reaction to you, if I remember correctly.”
Lucy. Jesus. I still had to deal with that tonight.
I stood. “I’ll fetch Mimi. And you get to go to Lucy’s place with me.”
“Pass.”
“Nope, you have to come.”
“Why?”
“I’ll need you to accompany my body to the morgue after Lucy kills me for Mimi’s hockey injury.”
Fifteen
LUCY
Once again Jax would catch me lounging in my robe, drinking.
But it’d been a stressful week and I deserved a drink to unwind.
Think that’s how it started with him? One drink to relax turned into twenty and next thing you know . . . you’re an alcoholic?
That caused me to reevaluate pouring a second vodka tonic.
How stressful had my week been anyway? Sure, I had plenty on my design plate. I had mock-ups to finish with Jonna, team leader for social media brand, and Annika had asked me to pull ad campaigns from a decade back just to make sure there weren’t similarities to the upcoming project.
I Want You Back Page 23