I don’t tell him I only have ten minutes before I have to be in history class with the dreadfully dull Mr. Dennison, who has a unique skill to make the most exciting events in history sound incredibly mundane. Instead, I have a chance to sit and chat with Liam. I can’t miss that opportunity. A guy, this beautiful guy, is giving me attention for the first time in my life. I can’t pass this up. I have every intention to leave in five minutes and make the quick run back to school. But right now, I could spare five minutes for Liam.
Except Liam’s a talker, and I don’t account for my head-over-heels infatuation with him and my inability to walk away.
I listen to him as he spills out details of his life, like an open book. I don’t know how we got into such a deep conversation all about him. I must have spaced out again while taking in all his beautiful features.
Oh, that smile. It has a hold on me. I lean in and listen to his every word.
“So, I’m attending community college, got a late start – that’s why I’m a twenty-one-year-old still working toward my two-year degree. Took some time to backpack through Europe first. I stayed in hostels, just me, a backpack, and my trusty camera. I really want to be a photographer. Anyways, I met a lot of exciting and fun people. Crashed on a lot of their couches, but eventually I had to come back to the States and get the ball rolling with school. Plus, I had to help out with my niece.”
I smile and Liam doesn’t skip a beat. I wonder if he sees the drool dripping from my mouth and pooling on the table. I double-check my chin to make sure I’m not actually drooling.
Stay cool, Charlie.
I can’t stop staring at him. This time he doesn’t have a coat on, so I can see what I could only imagine before, and it’s exactly how I pictured it. His long-sleeved blue polo shirt is bulging from his muscles, accentuating every line.
He’s got this little vein that sticks out in his neck when he talks, and I can’t stop staring at it.
“My brother-in-law died from cancer about six months ago. My sister’s been lost without him, so I try to pick up the slack and help take care of Lily. My little Lily Pad. That’s what I call her.”
Oh, and he’s sweet and loves his family. Mr. Perfect.
The bell rings across the street at my school. I check the time. Crap, crap, crap. History class is starting right now.
I could run across the street and slide into my seat before Mr. Dennison even realizes I’m late, but then I would miss out on getting to know Liam.
Screw it. I’m staying.
Whoa girl. This isn’t like you. Maybe you should tell him you’re in high school and only seventeen.
I quickly quiet my inner voice of caution.
“So, what kind of photography are you into?” I ask Liam, and shut down my thoughts of rational reasoning.
“Just about anything but I’m really passionate about nature scenes, like capturing the perfect light as it dances off the water, or the way the sun hits the mountains at the perfect time of the morning. That kind of stuff, ya know?”
“That sounds beautiful,” I say
“Hey, Charlie, I gotta get going—Photo-editing class at two. Nice chatting with you today. Maybe we can bump into each other again tomorrow?” Liam says as he stands up and grabs his coat.
I smile. “I would love that.”
I can’t stop staring as he exits Coffee Loon.
I replay every detail of our conversation. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Liam never asked me any questions. It was all about him and he’s a talker. It’s OK though, because I want to know everything about his life, and I learned a lot. It’s probably best I don’t tell him I’m missing class while I sit here and listen to his stories. I don’t want to tell him I’m in high school until I have him roped in. He wouldn’t have asked me to join him at his table if he didn’t feel something for me, would he? I can’t tell Jenny about this, even though I tell Jenny everything. I know it’s wrong, he’s so much older than I am and he’s Jenny’s patient, and yet . . .
I don’t want Jenny to be disappointed in me.
CHAPTER 22
Jenny
February 2008
I’m keeping secrets.
I know what I’m doing and I know it’s wrong, but I can’t control myself around him.
I let him into my life and now my bed. I’ve been sneaking around and it’s thrilling. I love the way I feel when I’m with him. I can actually feel my heart skipping beats each time he touches me—like a teenager in love for the first time.
I haven’t felt this level of excitement in a really long time. I’ve been too busy to allow myself this kind of fun. If I’m being honest with myself, it was the kiss that started it all. Sure, I was attracted to him, but I would never have acted on it alone. His confidence as he strutted across the room toward me. He knew I could be his. I don’t think the thought even crossed his mind that I would say no. I never gave him the impression that I was into him, not once that I can recall. Maybe his self-assurance is the reason why I am even more attracted to him. And when his lips touched mine, I couldn’t pull away. I should have, but I didn’t. In that moment, I knew this kiss would change everything.
I broke the rules the second he was in front of me, and his bold, beautiful eyes met mine. I stared into them for what felt like forever. I should’ve said something before it went too far.
His soft, sweet lips pressed hard against mine, and I kissed him back.
I can’t get that unforgettable night out of my head.
I’ve already let it happen, so what would be the point in doing the right thing now?
I shouldn’t continue with our relationship, but he’s like a drug I can’t quit. I can’t say no to him. I’m hooked.
CHAPTER 23
Jenny
February 2008
I watch Charlie through my bedroom window as she cuts across the lawn. I’m putting myself back together quickly before she wonders why I look like a hot mess. I shooed him out with barely enough time to spare. I don’t want to explain him to my family just yet. Eventually I will, if it turns into more, but right now I don’t see the point. We are having fun, that’s all.
I hear the front door squeak shut as he sneaks out toward the alley. I had him park down the street, so no one questions my “new friend.”
Tuesday night is Thai food and movie night. It’s been Charlie’s and my routine since I moved into my sister’s guest house. I like my little house-cum-office setup. It’s perfect for me.
We got the awful news that my parents were in a deadly accident when I was in college. I lived with them over summers and breaks, and when we had to sell my parents’ house to pay off their debts, I had nowhere to go for breaks. Charlie, my sister Joan, and her husband Frank welcomed me with open arms and let me stay in their newly renovated guest house. It was perfect. We could all be together and heal as a family. Charlie and I were always close, but now we were even closer. After grad school I decided to make this residence permanent and floated the idea to Joan and Frank about having my practice here too. Frank was resistant at first, but he’s a pushover and I finally wore him down. I’ve been here ever since. I love having them close, except when I’m keeping secrets, I have to be more careful.
“Hey, Jenny,” Charlie shouts from the front of my house.
“Be right there, sweetie.” I holler back from my bedroom. I quickly pull my hair back in a high ponytail.
Charlie’s already eating when I get out to the living room. My sweet, Charlie. I love her to death, but she’s a mess. Her hair doesn’t look like she combed it today and her oversized hoodie isn’t flattering her cute little figure whatsoever. Joan and I try with her, but Charlie is clueless and doesn’t respond to our suggestions. She has so much potential. I worry about her so much. Her head is always in her books, which is good, but I want her to experience life. Also, she’s never even been on a date and she’ll be eighteen in a couple of months.
Charlie smiles as she catches me looking at her. “I
got extra spring rolls this time. Ya know, to avoid the spring-roll disaster we had last time—that last one had been mine. You’d had all yours already,” Charlie says with a mouth full of food.
“Close your mouth when you speak. And that last spring roll had been mine. I can’t help it that you can’t count,” I playfully joke back.
We both laugh and selfishly reach for our share of the appetizers.
“So, how was your day?” I ask Charlie.
“Eh, uneventful, yours?”
I push around the food on my plate and say, “It was a full day of appointments. I’m beat. I hope I can make it through a whole movie tonight,” I lie. Today was actually easy but I’m exhausted from my little playtime with him. I don’t dare tell my seventeen-year-old niece that, though.
“Rough life being an adult,” Charlie says with a hardy laugh.
“Hey, you’re right around the corner, missy. You’re almost a college girl now. Are you getting excited for OSU?” I ask her.
“I’m so excited. I’m ready to move on, but I will miss you, and I will miss our Tuesday takeout night. Think you can make the drive to see me each Tuesday?” Charlie says.
“I wish—I’m going to miss you like crazy, kid. It won’t be the same without you here. Your parents are going to drive me nuts. I love my sister and Frank, but you’ve been a nice little buffer,” I say jokingly.
“You know I’ll be back all the time,” Charlie responds.
“You’ll get to college, make new friends, get a boyfriend, and you won’t have time for your aunt anymore.”
“I’ll always have time for you. Hey, you going to eat that last spring roll?” Charlie says, and she reaches across the table to my plate.
I smack her hand down playfully. “Not so fast, hands off, this one is all mine.” I shove the spring roll into my mouth before she can try again.
“Hey, want to go shopping on Friday? Maybe we could go get our hair cut and a mani-pedi? Fun girls’ night out?” I ask, but I already know her response.
“Fun for you. No, thank you. I think I’m just going to stay in and read some of my new books I got yesterday at the bookstore on my way home from school. Plus, I have to finish a book for my English class. Looks like my weekend’s already planned out. Sorry, no time to watch you shop,” she responds.
“Charlie, when are you ever going to let me take you shopping? I’ve been trying since you were five and you’ve always refused. You are one stubborn little girl. One of these days I’m going to get you to change your mind. I guarantee you’re going to call me from college and beg me to take you shopping. You just wait and see.”
“Can we just watch our movie?” Charlie presses.
“Sure, which do you wanna watch tonight?”
“10 Things I Hate About You,” she says.
“I swear we just watched that one. Are you sure you don’t want to watch Clueless instead?”
“We just watched that one too. How about Mean Girls?” We both giggle.
“Mean Girls it is then,” I say.
I get the movie cued up and we spend the night gabbing. I’m going to miss this when she’s away.
CHAPTER 24
Charlie
February 2008
I stare past the two medium coffees that sit on the table in front of me, and I watch the door impatiently. I took the liberty to order for both of us today. Liam’s been running late more frequently, and I get more time with him if I grab both coffees and wait for him at our table.
I haven’t told him the truth yet.
I’m scared I will lose him the second I do.
Every day I wait for the perfect time but so far, the perfect time hasn’t come. I wish for him to ask me on a proper date outside Coffee Loon. Then maybe once he falls hard for me, then I can tell him. Once I turn eighteen, will it even matter to him?
I enjoy and look forward to our lunch dates, but I need more from him.
I’m falling in love with Liam.
Of that I am certain.
I’ve never felt like this before. I am not sure how to act around him. Is he my boyfriend?
Maybe today, I will ask him what I am to him, but I’m nervous. I need him. I’m addicted to him, and I don’t want to scare him away.
My heart leaps as he walks through the parking lot and then through the doorway into the café. With each step he takes, my heart beats faster. His devilish grin has the same effect on me that it did the first time we met. Luckily, I’m sitting, or I may fall weak in the knees and topple over.
“Hey, sorry I’m late. I stayed after class today to work in the darkroom. I had some film I wanted to develop from my snowshoeing excursion last weekend,” Liam says as he scatters his photos all over the table for me to view.
“Wow, Liam, these are really good. You’re really talented,” I gush as I study each photo carefully.
I particularly like the photos of his friends snowshoeing along the river. The sparkling rapids glisten with hints of frost and the reflection of the blue-sky dancing off the water. Absolutely breathtaking.
“Tomorrow, me and my buddy Eric are going to snowshoe up Tumalo Mountain with our snowboards strapped to our packs so we can board back down. I’m going to bring my camera so I can catch some action shots of Eric.”
“That sounds really cool,” I respond.
“So, I won’t be able to meet you tomorrow. I just wanted to stop in and tell you, but I’ve got to get back to school now. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll catch you next week.”
And just like that, Liam is gone. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, giving me an uneasy feeling. He never invites me. He barely gave me five minutes today. Am I losing him? I desperately want to be a more significant part of his adventurous life.
I’m in love with Liam.
***
Back at home, I can’t get him out of my head. Liam was short with me today and I try not to read too much into it, but I can’t help but feel neglected by him.
Then there’s my little secret. I don’t think I’ve lied to Jenny, but I haven’t told her the truth either. It’s starting to eat at me. I feel guilty, but I know what she will say. She wouldn’t approve of our relationship. I’ve never kept a secret from Jenny. My parents sure, but not her.
I have to focus, and if I don’t clear my mind and get my schoolwork done, I’m never going to get out of high school.
Time to concentrate, Charlie.
I’ve barely opened my book when my mom hollers down the hallway toward me. “Charlie, phone is for you. It’s Zoey.”
I pick up the phone in the living room. “Hey, Zoey.”
“Hey, Charlie, how’s it going?” Zoey asks, her voice not sounding like her normal, peppy self.
“I’m good. Things are going fine.” Although I’m lying. My tummy is in knots.
I haven’t told my friends about Liam yet because I’m not sure what to tell them.
“I feel like we haven’t hung out in a while. Want to go get pizza with Mike and me in a little bit?” Zoey asks.
“No, sorry I have to finish reading The Great Gatsby for my English class,” I respond.
“What’s been going on with you lately? Where have you been at lunch? Are you going to the coffee shop? You can’t survive on coffee alone,” Zoey says accusingly.
“Nothing is going on with me. I’ve just been busy, and I get a scone from time to time. It’s all good. Don’t worry about me. Let’s go to a movie next weekend.”
“Sure, a movie sounds good,” Zoey says, but I can tell she wants to keep pressing me for answers.
I cut her off before she can continue. “See ya at school tomorrow. I will meet you at lunch.”
Since Liam isn’t going to meet me tomorrow, lunch is a promise I know I can keep.
“OK, Charlie, see ya tomorrow,” Zoey says, defeated.
Why am I acting like this? I don’t know who I am anymore. I changed when he walked into my life.
OK, time to get my schoolwork done. I grab my
favorite purple crochet blanket that my grandma made for me before she passed. I cozy up in our bay window on the long, fluffy cushion. Finally, time to find out what happens to Gatsby and Daisy.
An hour passes, and tears flow down my cheeks as I finish the last pages. I can’t control my emotions and I can’t explain why I feel so much for this book. It’s such a tragic story of one man’s incapacity to wake up from his illusions and finally accept what is truly real. Sad, twisted story, it really is.
I wipe my eyes with the blanket, and as I’m doing so, something catches my attention.
Jenny is in the backyard. She looks exceptionally pretty today. I mean, she’s always beautiful, but something is different today. I’ve never seen her dress like that for work. She flaunts across the lawn in a low-cut red blouse. Her tiny little frame is put perfectly together in tight black pants and red boots that climb up her skinny long legs. Everything about her outfit is out of place for a winter workday. I watch as she practically skips back inside. Her steps are light and airy as she makes her way to the door that enters into her bedroom. The daylight’s almost gone, and her blinds are drawn, but her silhouette appears behind the closed blinds. I’m shocked when a second silhouette enters the room. They move closer together and embrace in a what appears to be a romantic hug. I watch as their lips move closer until they are fully blended into one figure.
Look away, Charlie. You shouldn’t be watching. But I’m glued to the silhouette. I can’t pull my eyes off it. Who could be at her house? Jenny never mentioned a new guy in her life. I feel a little betrayed that she didn’t share this with me. We tell each other everything. Well, almost anything. Suddenly, I don’t feel so guilty now. I guess we both have our little secrets.
CHAPTER 25
Charlie
February 2008
A flash of heat rushes over my entire body, and I can’t breathe. I’m trapped. I open my mouth again, and the words scratch along my throat, but nothing comes out. Help! Help me.
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