by Brenda Ford
I definitely feel like everything is going in the right direction now. There are no guarantees for which way this will end up, but then I suppose that’s true with everything in life. If I focus too much on the out come then I won’t enjoy the journey along the way. With Ryan, I really want to savor every second because I know how crappy life is without him. That’s why I am willing to get past this fear and to give it a try once more.
Anyway, even if I’m not supposed to be day dreaming anymore and living in a fantasy world, I really am like the heroine in a romantic story getting the happy ever after. I will try not to get too caught up in that because there is no escaping that this is real life and it could all fall apart. But at the same time, I can live in the moment for a little while, can’t I? I have been through such shitty times that I think I deserve a moment of fantasy.
Chapter 19 – Ryan
As soon as we are inside of Sara’s home, I feel the atmosphere thicken. She turns to stare at me with glazed over eyes, looking like she is swimming in a desire of her own making, which I immediately want to be a part of. I never thought that coming over to her place would result in her actually giving me a chance, but I’m unbelievably happy that she has.
I really am falling for her; I think softly to myself as her lips edge towards mine once more. I might even be in love with her already… but I need to be absolutely sure before I say that.
I know what I have to do now, I am perfectly aware of the way that I should behave to make sure that she is comfortable with me, happy with our relationship, just as I am. Keeping things back and taking things at a suitable place, plus communicating effectively… that’s key.
Her fingers easily stop me from thinking about anything as she tugs lightly at the top I’m wearing, clearly wanting it off. I take a step back from her to strip myself down, honestly wishing that I was as well dressed as she is at the moment, while she shakes off her blazer and unbuttons her blouse. Her intense gaze remains fixed on mine the entire time, making my head spin with excitement. The fire in her eyes shoot all the way to my cock, making me stiff as a board for her. I really need her to touch me, I’m aching to be inside her, somewhere I never thought she would let me be again. I can’t wait for that intense sizzle to claim me.
“Wow,” I rasp as she pops open her bra and lets the material tumble to the ground. “Sara, you look so good. I mean, seriously, you have to be the sexiest woman that I have ever seen.”
She smirks and drags her tongue along her bottom lip while shimmying out of her pencil skirt, showing me the lacy panties she has just about covering her. I know she wants me naked too, and God damn it I want to give that to her, but at this moment she has me frozen.
“Do you need a little help?” Those sexy hips sway as she comes my way, keeping me utterly mesmerized by her. I can’t stop staring at Sara, wanting to drink in every inch of her as she makes light work of tearing my clothes from my body so she can do whatever the hell she wants with me. I don’t even get to keep my underwear. She rips them clean off. “Much better.”
She presses her hand to my chest and shoves me backwards with a commanding air about her, like she is the boss for a change, which I am more than happy to let her be. I let out a little grunt as I hit the ice cold wall behind me, not that it does anything to calm the heat tearing through my system, but I don’t have much chance to complain because she is already claiming my mouth, invading me with her tongue. Her hand travels down to my cock and she takes it between her fingers, stroking me as her kisses move off my lips down my body.”
“Oh God.” My automatic reaction is to close my eyes and to really feel the sensations, but I also want to watch her. I can’t take my eyes off her as her lips explore my abs and stomach, as she gets ever closer to where I need her. “Oh, Sara, you are too much. Too fucking much.”
She smiles up at me, her expression contorting in bliss as her knees hit the floor. It seems like giving me pleasure is working out for her as well, which only intensifies everything. It doesn’t help that I can feel her hot streams of breathy air all over me, making it a massive challenge for me not to lose my mind already. I don’t want to ruin whatever she has planned for me. I’m glad I’ve just about managed to keep myself in order because it isn’t long before it’s not just her hands touching me, but her lips as well. She is placing little delicate kisses up and down my shaft, pausing as she gets to the tip and again when she reaches my balls.
“Fucking hell,” I grunt. I don’t know how long she expects me to last, but there is a deep tremor already making its way all the way up my legs. “Sara, please… you are killing me…”
There is a warning in my tone, but she doesn’t head it at all. Nor does she stop as I grab fists full of her hair to hold on to her as her tongue starts swirling around me as well. She’s licking me like I am a damn lollipop and turning me to fucking mush at the same time.
Just as I’m about to demand that she stops fooling around with me because I can’t take it for another second longer, she parts her lips wide and takes me in her mouth, dragging her hot wetness down me until I hit the back of her throat. She has all of me with in her, I can’t believe it. I don’t think anyone has ever taken every inch of me before and it feels great.
I can’t keep my eyes open now because she looks like a porn actress down there giving me a little show that I can experience at the same time. She’s too sexy for words. As Sara drags her lips back up me before plunging me back deep in to her once more, she seems hungrier, like she needs more of me, like she is absolutely desperate to taste me. She is desperate to coax the orgasm for me and I’m afraid that I’m far too weak to resist her.
“Fuck me.” Thankfully, the moment I am truly about to lose it, she yanks her mouth off of me and demands my next move. “Fuck me, Ryan. I want to feel all of you.”
She takes my hand and drags me int o her living room where she lays back on the couch. I watch intently, shaking all over as she finally shrugs those panties of hers off. Her thighs automatically spread, inviting me in, and God damn it I am going to take that invitation…
Protection, I think to myself because I don’t want to make anything like the same mistake again. But then I remember that it’s a bit late for that. That’s an issue for the future.
“Oh God, you really are beautiful,” I murmur as I shimmy my body up hers. “No wonder I’m falling for you.” My head twists and turns as I reach her, grazing her soaking wet entrance with my equally drenched tip. “I don’t ever want to let you go again.”
I slip between her folds, no longer asking for permission because I absolutely know that I have it, and I bury myself deep with in her. The groan emanating from me is almost as loud and needy as the one that vibrates in Sara’s chest. I guess this has been a long time coming for both of us. My breaths are sharp and ragged, almost as loud as my pounding heart.
“Don’t let me go,” Sara begs as she starts slamming her hips in to mine, causing me to automatically thrust. “I don’t ever want you to let me go again.”
Our words spoken in the heat of passion are the truthful ones, they are the uninhibited ones that we can speak without the fear of moving too fast. They might not be ‘I love you’ but it’s pretty damn close and it calms me to know that we are both on the same page.
Sara grips on to me tightly as the pleasure starts top grip her. It’s as if she needs me to connect her to the planet and I am more than happy to be that person for her. It doesn’t even matter when the way that she clings to me gets a little painful because her body is bucking, her walls clamping around me, I am pushing her down the tracks towards the station and I can tell that it won’t be long until she explodes. She’s going to take me along with her as well, I just know it, because I am absolutely hopeless for her, controlled by her deep and penetrative thrusts. The hot bliss is circling up inside of me, creating a brick wall of pleasure at the base of my shaft, and the moment that Sara starts screaming because she has lost herself, I erupt like a volcano. I flood her
with my seed, and we kiss one another hard to try and swallow up some of the noise. It’s wild, it’s animalistic, it’s primal with passion and I fucking love it.
“Bloody hell,” I gasp out as I collapse on the couch next to Sara. “That was…”
“Something else.” She giggles joining in with me. “I know, right.”
She turns on to her side to take my hands in hers, so I mimic her. Our foreheads rest together, and we stare lovingly in to one another’s eyes. Nothing is spoken between us vocally, but I can hear a thousand unsaid things floating in the air, connecting us together deeply.
Ben is right, he has been right all along. Work isn’t the most important thing in the world, I just needed the right woman to come along to make me see that. Ironically, she came along via work, but I suppose that’s the only way that I would have ever given her enough time.
Now, it seems like she will be working somewhere else, I will be in my office, and we will have a family together. I hope that over time she will learnt to trust me enough so that we can move in together as well. Either in my place or somewhere else together, somewhere with plenty of room for our little family. I do want us to all be together when the time comes.
“So, what next?” Sara finally says with a chuckle. “Where do we go from here?”
“Oh, I am taking you out on a date,” I insist. “We might have done everything the wrong way around, but that doesn’t mean I’m not taking you out on a date.”
Her eyes light up with excitement, just like I hoped they would. “Are you really?”
“Of course. Whatever you want. Where would you like to go?”
“Not to dinner.” She screws up her face at my usual date place. Not that I would do anything standard with her because she’s far too special for that. “Something athletic and fun.”
“For a date?” I gasp in mock shock. “You want to do something to get you sweaty on a date?”
This sparks a wonderfully lively debate about what the best date activity is, which has us both collapsed in laughter over and over again. Now this is the way to disagree with one another! Especially since we keep randomly kissing one another in between everything.
We might have struggled to communicate in the past, but I really do think that we are over that now. Like I suspected, when we are working towards the same thing, it seems to be surprisingly easy. I have spent the last few weeks thinking that I would do things differently if I was given the chance to do everything again, but as we lie here next to one another, naked and in one another’s arms I’m not sure that I would. Perhaps everything had to be complicated and hard in the beginning to make us fight for one another. It could be fate and everything might be so much easier now. Our future could really be a happy ever after.
Here’s hoping anyway.
Chapter 20 – Sara
Eight Months Later…
“You are doing such a good job here,” Mr. Arnold says at my annual review. I might not have been at the company for quite a year, but this is when they do it and I am more than happy to get an update on how things are going right now. I have been pretty much convinced that he’s happy with me, but it’s glad to get that confirmation. “I am very happy with…”
Uh oh. The words that I have been so thrilled to hear now fade away in to a blurry nothingness. I can barely focus because all of a sudden, as if from nowhere, a strange dizziness over comes me. What the hell is it about being in this office that makes me so sick? I don’t know if I will be able to survive another puke session all over this carpet.
“Sara?” Is that Mr. Arnold talking to me? Now everything is fuzzy, and I can’t focus at all. It’s strange, my boss is talking to me, but it sounds like he’s in a different room or something. “Sara, are you okay? Is something happening? Is it something to do with the baby?”
As soon as he says this, I feel a bolt of pain radiating through my stomach. Oh my God, is this something to do with the baby? I know that I’m due soon, real soon actually, but is that what’s happening here? Oh God, he’s going to have to get the doctor in here to check on me.
“My waters.” All of a sudden, there is a popping sensation between my legs followed by a string of wetness down my thigh. I know from all the pregnancy books what this means. It just feels different with it happening in reality. An intense fear sets in. “Oh God, help me.”
Ryan begged me not to go in to work today. He has been saying the same thing for ages, but I refused to listen to him because I like the distraction. I don’t want to sit around at home and get myself all in a stew with terror because of birth. The more I think about actually pushing a baby out of me… well, it sends me in to a cold sweat. But I’m going to have to think of it now.
“I will call Ryan,” Mr. Arnold tells me. At least I pick that up through the fog damn near consuming me. “I will get him to meet us there at the hospital.”
“I’m scared,” I admit with a tremor in my voice. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Oh, believe me, Sara,” Mr. Arnold chuckles. “If there is one thing that I can be certain of when it comes to you, it’s that you can do anything. Believe me, you will be just fine.”
I try to take his words of comfort with me, but I’m still shaking. I’ll have to be okay though, won’t I? No matter what. My baby needs me. He or she is finally coming to life, and I am going to finally get to be the mother that I have wanted to be for the last nine long months…
“A boy.” I haven’t ever seen Ryan cry before, not like this, but at the sight of our baby in his arms he is pretty much bawling. “I can’t believe it. a beautiful little boy.”
“I know.” I stare at my son in his arms, admiring just how perfect he is. “He’s lovely, isn’t he? I can’t believe I made him… I can’t believe how much pain he caused me…” I laugh at my little joke, but I have to admit that I think it will be a long time before I am recovered enough to even think about having any more children… even if Ryan has already mentioned it. “But what are we going to call him? We don’t have a name for our little one yet.”
I didn’t want to find out the gender of our child before he was born because I didn’t want to pick any names before I saw his face. And now I know that I am right as well, because I have to see him to know what to call him… I just don’t know what it’s going to be yet.
“Hmmm, that’s a good question. I do know what I would like his middle name to be though… if that’s okay with you?” I nod encouragingly. “Ben.”
“Ah, of course.” I smile to myself knowing how much Ben means to us. Ryan told me not long after we were together that ben kept encouraging him to chase after me the whole time, even when he had a lot of self doubt, which is why we went to visit him not long after. “I like it. Ben is a big part of our story, isn’t he? So, he deserves to be a part of our boy’s name. In fact, I think it should be his first name, don’t you?”
Ryan’s eyes light up. “You are really okay with that? I would love it.”
“Of course. That sounds amazing. Now, give little Ben over to me so I can hug him.”
Ryan does as I ask of him and as soon as I have Ben in my arms, I get an intense rush of love over me. I never knew what boundless love truly was until I saw my son for the very first time. I thought that I loved him when he was inside of my stomach, but now it’s something else. I am completely and utterly awe struck by him, so in love…
“Sara?” I glance up only when I hear Ryan trying to get my attention once more. But I can’t find him at first. He isn’t standing beside me like I thought he was going to be…
“What are you doing?” He is kneeling on the floor next to the bed with something in his hand. I think I must still be a little fuzzy and exhausted from the birth because it takes me a couple of moments to figure out what all of this means. “Oh my God, what are you doing?”
“Sara Gibson, I love you.” He grins from ear to ear, saying those words with complete ease, It took us a while to get to the point of finally saying those three
words, we skated around the subject for a while, expressing our feelings in different ways, but now that they are finally out there in the world, it’s like neither of us can stop saying them… although admittedly, they definitely have a heavier meaning this time around. “I have loved you for a very long time. I might have lost you as a personal assistant, which I am still gutted about by the way.” We both laugh at this. He might have lost me in the work place but it’s for the best because it means he gets me everywhere else. “But I am glad to have you as my girlfriend, the love of my life, and now the mother of my child. It makes me so happy that me and you have really found our way in the world. It seems like we got all the hard times out the way early, so now me and you get to be happy forever. Although I suppose it might not all be smooth sailing with a new born baby… still, at least we know for sure that we can handle anything. We are strong enough to survive whatever life throws our way, which is why I want to take today to make this official.”
There are more tears down his face now which I’m sure must be reciprocated on my face. I can’t even wipe them away because I’m hugging my baby boy!
“So, what do you say, Sara? Will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to be my wife? Because if you say yes, then I promise to be the best man for you, the husband that you deserve. I will spend every day of my life loving you, and Ben too, and making sure that we have the best future together. I won’t ever hurt you; I will always keep you in my heart.”