by Alexia Chase
“Not really.” She jerks her head toward the seat across from her. “Have a seat.” After wrapping her hands around the glass, she shoves her empty one to the end of the table. “I guess one more drink won’t kill me, but no more after this.”
I slip into the open bench and the vinyl whooshes as I shift my hips. “I understand.” She’d always sworn she’d never indulge like her father. Hell. Maybe she turned into a drunk. How would I know? Shit. Don’t be a dick.
Lying my arms on the table, I clasp my hands together. “What happened?”
She sags against the cushions but doesn’t ask what I mean. “I don’t know why I expect him to be any different. He’s the same asshole he was when I left.”
“Did he touch you?” The pressure in my head is so high I’m afraid my brain is going to explode.
“No. He’s too weak to do that at this point.” She shakes her head and cradles the drink in her hands. “But, his tongue is still vicious.”
“Don’t go back. You can come to my place. You don’t have to ever subject yourself to how he treats you.”
A small smile curves up to her cheeks, and she reaches out. When her hands land on mine, my entire body stills. I can’t even breathe. I’ve missed her touch. Her closeness. As my body comes back to life, I fight the urge to yank her over the table and into my lap.
Stop. Go slow. Don’t scare her off. I will be better off redeveloping a friendship with her and then begging her to love me. If I start with demanding her love, she’s going to disappear.
“Thank you, Trey. You’re as wonderful as ever, but I can’t impose. I’ll go to Lillian’s tomorrow.”
“Don’t go back tonight.” Panic wells inside me. What if he does something to her? Maybe he’s not as strong as he used to be, but it’s doubtful he’s gotten rid of his Colt .45.
“It’s fine.” She releases my hands.
“I can’t help it. The thought of you under his roof kills me.” I rake my hands through my hair and down my face. “I know it is irrational, but I don’t think I can live with myself knowing you’re lying under the same roof with him. You’ve already said he hasn’t changed.”
“Trey, he’s never hurt me like that.” She shrugs. “A few bumps and bruises are all he’s ever done.”
My jaw ticks. “That’s enough. Not to mention, I thought he’d killed you, and it tore me in pieces.”
“What?” Her mouth drops open, and she gawks in confusion.
“When you left, I couldn’t figure out what happened. The only thing that made sense was he did something to you.”
“Fuck.” Her hands drop into her lap. “I’m sorry, Trey. I should have never left the way I did, but I didn’t have another option. It was the only thing I could do at the time.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t expect you too.” Tears fill her eyes and slide in a trail down her cheeks. “It killed me too, but it was what was best for you.” She rubs her hands over the wooden surface. “I was pregnant, and I couldn’t let you give up your future for my mistake.”
The words spin in my head. I can’t breathe as my heart slams against my ribs. My hands shake, and I swallow over the lump in my throat.
As hard as I try, I can’t figure out what question to ask. How? What happened? Do I have an eleven-year-old child somewhere? How could she never tell me? Why didn’t she tell me? Did she give the baby up? What the fuck? All the questions are spinning at once.
What am I supposed to feel? Angry? Bitter? Sad? Happy? I’ve never been as shocked in my life. Natalie leaving was a punch in the gut. The reason behind her disappearance is a devastation I wasn’t anticipating.
Chapter Eight
Natalie
My head pounds as the words circle in the air between us. I see the anger radiating through his body, and I don’t blame him. He has every right to despise me. If I was in his shoes, I’d feel the same way. However, those weren’t the hard words to say. The next ones are lodged in my throat.
After twelve years, they still drop me to my knees. “When I was three months pregnant, I lost the baby.”
“Shit.” He rubs his hand over his face and then holds his head up with his fingers resting against his forehead.
The noise of the other customers is a blur as we sit across from each other in silence. “When I found out graduation night, I knew I had to leave. If I told you we were having a baby, you would have skipped college to take care of us. I couldn’t let you do that. I was going to come back after you started school.”
Finally, he peers at me with tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I wish I would have known. I would have been there for you.”
I grab his hands in mine. “I know you would have.”
He studies me. “I take care of my responsibilities.”
“I know.” I release his hands and place mine in my lap. “When I lost the baby, I was heartbroken. I spent six months at my grandmother’s in a severe depression. By the time I was able to do anything besides think about our sweet angel being gone, it was too late to come back.”
“Never.” He stares at me intently.
“Yes, it was.” I smile weakly. “You had moved on.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’ve never moved on.”
My heart skips a beat, and I lick my lips. Does he really mean it? How could he have never moved on? I’m not stupid. He doesn’t mean he’s not been with anyone else, but does that mean he’s never fallen in love again? Could I be that lucky?
Don’t be stupid. You don’t deserve him. You deserve to spend your life alone and miserable. My dad’s words reverberate inside my head. He’s right. Trey deserves someone with no baggage. “Listen, Trey. I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you sooner. It wouldn’t have changed anything, but you deserved to know.”
“Natalie, come home with me tonight.”
“I can’t.” My hands shake. If I go to his house, the home which was supposed to be ours, where we would have raised our children, I won’t survive. It’s too much.
“Stay here with me.”
“I don’t understand.” I blink. Where would we stay? This is not a hotel. I shiver. A part of me would love to take him up on his offer.
“There’s an apartment Travis and his wife use for an office. He’ll let you stay here tonight until you can talk to Lillian. Don’t go back to your dad’s place. He’s done enough damage to you.”
“Okay.” I don’t want to ever step foot in his house again, but I can’t go to Trey’s home. It would feel wrong. I don’t need another place where I don’t belong. “Are you sure he’s okay with it? I can get a hotel.”
“He’s good with it. I’ve stayed here before. You can sleep on the bed, and I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
“With another woman?” The question shouldn’t bother me, but it does. What woman has he made love to in this very building? Shit. The words fucking sting.
“What?” His forehead wrinkles as if he’s trying to figure out what I asked.
“Have you stayed here with another woman?”
“No. I’ve never stayed here with another woman.” He swallows. “I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been celibate for twelve years, but I’ve not slept my way through the phone book either. And, none of them were important to me. You’re the only person that I’ve brought home to my family.”
My heart stumbles in my chest. Can we start over? God, it’s been forever since I’ve gone on a date. I can’t deal with this. I ignore his words and pick a less volatile topic. “How are your sisters?”
“Great. Leah has two children. A girl and a boy. She married her boss.”
“Yeah?” That sounds like Leah. “And Nic?” I loved Nic. She was the cutest little girl. A flash of regret rolls through my body. If we had a little girl, would she have looked like Nicole?
“Nic is fine. She’s an ER nurse.”
“Really? Wow.” I shake my head. “That is crazy.”
“We all grew up.” He licks his lips. “How about
you?”
“What about me?”
“Did you ever get married?”
“No.” I shake my head and twirl the drink in my fingers. “I dated a few guys, but they never lived up to you.”
“Yeah?” He crosses his arms over his chest and grins. “I always knew I was good.”
Damn him. I roll my eyes. Mr. Cocky, in all his glory. “Don’t be so full of yourself. I was living with my grandma in a small town of two hundred people, and most of them were over the age of fifty.”
He’s as gorgeous as ever. Well, more so. Now, he’s all man – muscles, beard, piercing hazel eyes, and strong cheekbones. My gaze travels across his chest and down to his hands. Even his hands are beautiful. It would be nice to forget the past and start over. Pretend it never happened.
“Thank God.” Trey clutches his chest. “If you would have moved to a city, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“Likely true.” It surprises me how much fun it is to talk to Trey again. Now that everything is out in the open. Do I remember how to flirt? “For whatever reason, guys and tractors don’t do it for me.”
“How about guys with Harley’s?”
“You have a bike?”
“Yep. You want to go for a ride and make out?” He waggles his eyebrows.
Is he serious? My heart skips a beat, and my nipples tighten. How do you have sex on a motorcycle? Is that even possible? Wouldn’t it fall over? God, I don’t want to break him. His arm is still hurt. “Maybe another day.”
“Your loss, Princess.”
The butterflies in my stomach flop when he calls me, Princess. Every time he called me Princess, I’d fall on my knees and beg him to make love to me. Should have stayed on my knees and not on my back. Don’t. I will never regret the baby. Yes, my future would have been different, but I wouldn’t have had those precious three months planning all the beautiful and amazing things I would have done with him or her.
Chapter Nine
Trey
For the last hour, I’ve felt less like I’m dancing around landmines and more like I’m spending the evening catching up with my best friend. Natalie and I became friends during our freshman year of high school when we partnered up in science class.
We were inseparable from then on. Our first kiss was at the homecoming dance during our sophomore year. And the first time we made love? The night I told her I loved her, the summer we turned seventeen. Being near her is like coming home.
But can you go back home to stay or just for a visit? I wish I knew the answer to the question.
I take a sip of beer. I’m still nursing my second one. “Tell me about these guys on the tractors.”
“Oh, you should see them bucking hay.”
“Bucking hay?”
“Yes, bucking hay. They take their shirts off and lug these fifty-pound squares of hay onto giant trailers. The sweat drips off their foreheads as their back muscles stretch. And abs?” She whistles. “They’ve got abs with their own zip codes.”
What the fuck? “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I shake my head. Smooth move asking that question.
Natalie having sex with another man makes my stomach churn. I should have never asked this question. So much for hoping to get a second chance with her. Now, I’ve slipped into the friend zone, where we swap sex stories. Not at all what I was angling for.
“I’m serious. The neighbors next to us…” She shudders and then starts giggling. “They were in their sixties, and those guys still had more stamina than an eighteen-year-old. Grandma would sit on the front porch swinging for hours staring at them.”
“Shit.” I grab my stomach and laugh. “You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Thank you.” She laughs until tears fill her eyes.
The lights in her eyes twinkle, and my heart dives to my feet. Can a person come back home for good? Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ve never stopped loving her. If there’s any way we can make this work, I’m willing to give it everything I have, to try. “How’s your grandma?”
“She’s great. Probably sitting on the front porch right now listening to the crickets chirp while smoking some herb mixture and drinking moonshine.”
“You’re dad’s mom or your mom’s?”
“My mom’s.”
“Have you seen her?” Natalie’s mom was gone by the time I’d met her.
“Yes. She’s doing great. She lives in the next town over. I spent years being angry with her for leaving, but later I found out she tried to take us, but Dad called the police on her.”
“Has Lillian seen her?” I liked Natalie’s sister. She was two years older and super protective of her.
“Yes. We have dinner together at least once a month.” Natalie takes a drink out of her glass.
“I thought I saw Lillian the other day. I’ve even seen her in my neighborhood a few times. Does she live near me?”
Her face flushes and turns seven shades of red.
“What?” My eyes narrow.
“Nothing.” She studies the table.
Why is she freaked out about me seeing her sister? That’s weird. “Spill it.”
“She lives on Darlington Circle.”
“That’s twenty minutes away.” I curl my lip and try to make sense of why she’s been around my neighborhood so much. “Is she screwing someone in my neighborhood?”
“God, no.” She giggles and slaps the table. “She’s been following you for years.” She looks up at the ceiling. “This is so embarrassing. She takes pictures of you and sends them to me.”
I cock an eyebrow and give her a leering once over. “Did you ask her to?”
“No.” She bites her bottom lip. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the view.”
“In any of them, was I naked?”
She coughs. “Where exactly would she get nude photos of you? Do you run around your yard in the buff?”
“If I knew she was taking pictures of me for you, I would have.” I motion to her cellphone. “Call her. I can drop my pants in about ten seconds. Give me five.”
Her eyes darken, and her chest expands. I try not to ogle her breasts, but they’re right there. Begging for my attention.
The tension in the air is nothing like the one we first navigated. This one is ripe with need and longing that has been years in the making. I want to touch her. Taste her. Explore every inch of her body. I know everything that pleases her, and she knows my body in ways that no one else ever will.
“Let’s skip the photos.” She bites her bottom lip. “Are you sure your friend will let us stay here?”
Shit. My entire body tightens and almost vibrates with desire. Is this real? Or a very detailed fantasy I dreamed up? Because I’ve got that shit down to a science.
“Are you sure?” I don’t move. If I touch her before I’m positive this is what she wants, I won’t be able to stop. One kiss and I’m going to be lost. Fuck. I’ve been lost for years. One touch, and I’ll be found. “I need to know you’re sure, because if you aren’t…” I shake my head. “I want you, Princess, but not if you don’t want it as bad.”
She tries to steady her hands on the table. “Trey, I want you. Make love to me.”
Motherfucker. My entire being convulses, and my cock strains against the zipper of my jeans. I’m not even sure if I can stand up, I’m so hard. I inhale and blow out a long breath of air.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Her face falls.
“I’m about to unravel over here.” I grab her hand and lean across the table. “Don’t move.”
“Okay.” Her eyes dart around the room as if she’s seeing the crowd for the first time in hours.
“Natalie, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life, but if I don’t take a second, I’m going to drag you over the table and fuck you right here.”
“Oh, my God,” her gasp is audible enough, the people behind us turn and glower.
“He’s not going to be able to help you.” I will my erection to ease a fraction so I can st
and up.
“Trey…”
“I’m fine.” I close my eyes and count to ten. Okay. I can do this. You are not going to fuck this up. Because once I’m inside her, she’s never getting away. I don’t care how far she runs this time; I’m following her. She may not be ready to hear it yet, but it’s a reality she’s going to have to accept. I’m taking what has always been mine – Natalie and our future family.
Chapter Ten
Natalie
The second the door shuts behind us, my hands shake uncontrollably. What am I doing? When I came to the bar, my only intent was to sit in silence for a few hours and try to decide my next move. I wasn’t anticipating hooking up with my ex-boyfriend. When was the last time I shaved my legs? Shit. Not recent enough.
His breath fans the hairs at the base of my neck, causing me to shiver. Instead of looking at him, I take in the space around us.
The office apartment space is large. There is a wooden desk in the corner and a living room setting with a sofa and chairs grouped together in the center.
On one side of the room are two closed doors. I assume they are a bedroom and a bathroom, but they could hold other items. Maybe I should ask for a grand tour. Or go back to my father’s place. Yes, I’m totally chickening out.
“Natalie?”
“Yes.” My voice is barely above a whisper. His large hand clasps my upper arms. Am I ready for this? God, yes. Being with Trey is all I’ve ever been ready for.
“I’ll sleep on the sofa. There is a bedroom behind the first door. You can sleep in there. The bed is pretty comfortable.”
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. His eyes are serious as they search my face. The fact he’s giving me an out is all the encouragement I need to toss uncertainty out the window. I want to remember what it feels like to be in his arms. I need to experience utter bliss one last time. It’s been so long.
“Make love to me.” I cup his cheek. The stubble of his five o’clock shadow pricks at my fingers.