I settled onto the bed in the living room. William started unpacking our clothes and hanging them on wire hangers in the tiny but empty coat closet behind the front door.
I gazed out the window above our bed into the front yard. The mattress shifted with William’s weight as he sat behind me, pulling me across his chest as he rested against the wall.
His whisper was soft and low, “I'm sorry this is all I have to offer you.”
I turned enough for him to see the smile that had been stuck across my lips since we were left alone.
“I'm relieved, actually.” My face flushed at the curious twitch of his brow. I took a deep breath as I sought the words to describe my thoughts. “The girls in books always feel out of place when they leave their lavish lifestyles behind and step into the real world. I was worried I would feel the same but I don't.” His arms tightened around me as he listened. “I feel at home.”
Something glinted in his eyes. He pushed me down onto the creaking mattress and kissed me so hard I thought he could heal all of my broken pieces in that one moment. We were so engulfed in each other I didn't even feel the springs pressing into my bruised bones.
✷✴✷
We woke to the sun streaming in through the dirty glass above our bodies, highlighting the dusty air in streaks throughout the room. I watched as millions of dancing flakes swirled whimsically in the air.
I heard the backdoor through the kitchen open. I pulled the sheet up to hide my nakedness. Dizzy wobbled in from the kitchen and headed to his room without even seeing us. One eye was swollen and bruised, his knuckles scraped and bloody.
Reese stumbled into the living room cheering for Dizzy. “You should've seen him,” he slurred, waving his hands drunkenly. I laughed as he bounced off a wall and shook his head. He continued into the hall and I heard him fall onto the bed without closing the door.
William's hand ran down my back. His finger grazed over a painful spot. I tried not to wince. “I never thought I could have so much anger toward my sister. I never knew she could do this,” the sleepy gravel in his voice accentuated his chagrin.
I rolled to face him. He stared at the ceiling with his jaw clenched. The muscles in his arms were tensed as if he wanted to hit something.
I kissed his chest and played with his hair. He relaxed and sighed in resignation.
“I don't hate her,” he admitted sullenly. I thought he might cry through the words. I nodded knowingly.
“I'm actually relieved that she blamed me.” I let my hand trace the symbols on his chest. “I don't think she has any animosity toward you. She thinks I hoodwinked you or seduced you with my womanly prowess,” I said playfully, trying to pull him from his darkness.
He caught my wrist in his hand and my head jerked up. His eyes searched mine, looking for something.
His expression was almost angry, a sharp edge glistened in his eyes as though I couldn't possibly believe what I was saying. After a moment he found the answer he was searching for and his face lifted in realization.
He pressed my hand back to him and pulled me to lay against him.
“What is it,” I asked, confused by his reaction. He kissed me in answer. The way his eyes turned away from me told me he knew more than I did.
Give him time. Though I wanted answers, I wanted more for him to heal from his internal war and pain.
We ate breakfast sitting on the counters in the kitchen. Reese shuffled in and poured a glass of water as Dizzy vomited in the bathroom.
“Everything ok?” William asked.
Reese nodded and carried the glass to the bathroom. Between the retching and William’s fork scraping, I heard Reese's low voice. “You alright, baby?”
William glanced at me. I shrugged and turned to wash our plates in the sink. When Reese half dragged, half carried Dizzy back to his bed, kissing him sweetly on the forehead, I turned to follow William.
He began pulling clean clothes from the closet to take to the bathroom when he paused at my questioning stare. “Why are they trying to hide the fact that they're gay?”
His lips lifted in a smirk though I knew there was no humor in his thoughts. “The community is pretty good in some parts around here, but there are always some people who think it's their job to exterminate homosexuals.” He grimaced at me as if the thought left a bad taste in his mouth. "There's a couple of guys in the neighborhood that give them trouble, and when they have friends that are close by things can get pretty scary."
My heart twisted in anger and disgust. I glanced toward their open doorway tears stung my eyes. William’s lips caressed my temple and I grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the bathroom.
I tried to brush the tangles out of my wet, clean hair as gently as possible. I watched from our bed as the three men lounged on the sofa, catching up from the years apart.
From what I caught of the conversation William had run away a handful of times from his father's house as a kid. His and Reese's fathers frequented the same bars and they had met when they were children after their fathers became friends.
Most times William had gone to Reese's family who had lived in Louisiana. When they got older they ran away to Memphis where Reese fell in love with William’s cousin, Dizzy.
My eyes never could stay off of William for long. I had never seen him so relaxed and at home. His black shirt laid open, revealing his pale chest and tattoo, and he wore a hole in the knee of his black denim pants. He leaned back on the floral printed cushions with a beer to his lips and his eyes on me.
Reese had offered one to me but I didn't like to drink around people before I knew them. It wasn't that I didn't trust them, but when I was drunk I could get too comfortable and it was one of the few things I was self-conscious about.
I did cross the room and flopped into William's lap to join the rotation of the blunt being passed.
Reese’s eyes widened at a streak of blue on my thigh when my skirt shifted as I sat. I pulled the fabric down, meeting his gaze and shaking my head slightly, trying to tell him not to mention it. He glared at William and took a pull of his own beer.
Dizzy had seen it too. He hadn’t noticed my reaction. He stood slowly, fury spreading across his face.
Before I could utter a word to calm him, he plucked me up and sat me on Reese like a rag doll. Shocked, we gaped at each other before scrambling up.
Reese flung himself on Dizzy's back as I tried to pull William to safety. He looked around at us, wondering what had happened.
I felt useless as Dizzy lifted William by the collar of his shirt.
“No!” I screamed as his massive fist came down into William's mouth.
William cursed and spat blood. Dizzy reeled back for another punch. William blocked the strike but the weight of the hit collapsed him to the floor.
Dizzy pointed a finger at William and growled.
I grabbed his arm. Reese rounded the giant to shove at his chest. Dizzy let himself be pushed until he sat on the edge of our bed, his fierce eyes never straying from William.
“It wasn't him,” I shouted as I pulled William to his feet.
“What happened?” He smeared the blood running from his mouth on the back of his hand. He wasn’t angry, simply impatient and confused.
“Your girl’s banged up bad,” Reese cocked his head to me.
He stood in front of Dizzy with his arms spread as if prepared to hold him back. We all knew it would be useless if Dizzy decided to come at William again.
William looked between the three of us and laughed, shaking his head. Blood continued to drip from a long gash at the side of his lips. “Dizzy, you know I wouldn't.”
Dizzy glared harder for a second before shaking his own head softly. He rubbed his closed fist on his chest in apology and opened his arms. Reese stepped aside to let William into his embrace.
It was my turn to shake my head. I headed to the freezer and rolled ice into a washcloth for William's mouth. After a moment I decided to use a second washcloth for Dizzy's knuckles
that were already swollen.
When I returned to the living room, the men were all sitting on the couch again. I didn’t think William had the opportunity to explain the details of my injuries.
As I lingered in the doorway a realization struck me- we were with the right people. The four of us made up our own small, messed up family with our impulsiveness and quick anger. Reese seemed to be the balanced one among us. I offered Dizzy his makeshift ice pack and he lifted a hand to his chin in thanks.
William took his as he pulled me back down to his lap with a kiss. I tasted his blood and his love as our night resumed as if uninterrupted. I relaxed back to listen to their steady conversation.
Chapter 17- Magnolia
Days passed quickly. I got to know Reese and Dizzy well in a short amount of time. They were open about themselves when we were in the privacy of our home. It didn't take long to realize that Dizzy could communicate easily with a combination of sign language and personal gestures, though he didn't always like to.
When I asked him what his real name was he shook his head emphatically. It was funny seeing someone so intimidating be self-conscious about anything.
When I asked where he got the nickname he shrugged. Reese told me he had always been called that by his parents. Dizzy’s face hardened and his eyes glazed. I knew by his expression not to ask about his family. There was nothing but pain in that history.
Life was easy there. William showed me how to do the simple things in life like using the washing machine and dryer, the dishwasher, and even how to drive.
I was pretty good with all of the machines except the dishwasher. It simply didn’t like me. Every time I pushed a button, any button, the bottom would flood with water and soap would spray out of the sides. If anyone else touched the same thing later, it worked for them.
I didn't want to be a stereotype anyway.
Driving was by far my favorite new thing. Within the first couple of hours, I was good enough to drive us to the grocery store and back, turning too quickly once. Dizzy grunted from the back seat as Reese slammed into him.
“That's what seat belts are for,” I sang unapologetically. I laughed and pressed the pedal harder as we flew down our street.
“Ruth,” William’s voice had a touch of caution but he couldn’t hide the unmistakable titillation as his hand ran up my leg.
It hadn't been long since I left my home and my medication with it. I could feel the swell of manic exhilaration escalating in my chest. I slammed on the breaks and fishtailed the car into the empty lot at the end of the street beside our home.
Out the corner of my eye I saw a black towel slide out from under William's seat. He gently pushed it back under with the heel of sneaker, his eyes darting back to Reese.
The car jolted as I threw it into park before it was fully stopped.
I looked between the men. Dizzy didn't seem to have a problem with my driving but Reese had his lips pressed tight, his eyes wide, and a warning hand wrapped around his stomach. I waited to see if he was going to puke as he took deep breaths through his nose.
William stared out the windshield. Once again his blanketed expression made me question what was going on in his head. He refused to meet my eye. Anger diffused through me.
I ripped off my seat belt and threw myself across him.
“Stop,” he grabbed my arms but I already had one corner of the towel and kept a tight grip. He pulled me back as something heavy rolled out of the towel with a thud onto the floorboard.
I had never seen a real gun before. I looked at William's face. He was watching for my reaction.
I knew what I wanted to learn next.
✷✴✷
It was late in the afternoon when William drove us towards Mississippi. He turned off of the highway down a tiny, hidden dirt road. The dense lines of trees on either side of our car were so close that the branches clawed at our vehicle.
We stopped in a vast, barren field. The men jumped from the car in excitement as though they had done this a million times.
Reese headed toward the tree line with a roll of posters while Dizzy set up a battery-powered radio and cranked the pulsating thrash metal. Reese pinned the faces of recent pop stars and movie characters to the trees.
William had what he called a Glock in his hands and showed me how to load a fresh clip into it, how to hold it, and how to aim. Dizzy and Reese both pulled their own firearms from their waistbands.
William squeezed his trigger and a loud pop filled the air. In seconds I was surrounded by the sounds of three guns, tattered trees, and flying bullets.
Dizzy held his hand to the side and giggled strangely. He had the largest gun and the shots it expelled were frequent and patterned. Trees shot splinters and the posters seemed to deteriorate in front of my eyes.
The sun streaked red across the clouds as I practiced aiming and firing. I wasn't the best shot, but at least I was better than Dizzy. He may have been destructive but he had no precision whatsoever.
Dizzy left toward the forest as Reese showed me how to use his weapon. When Dizzy came back with a pile of dry brush he dumped it by the log we were using as a table for empty magazines and fresh clips.
Reese pulled out a flask and poured a putrid liquid on the small mountain we constructed. He took a swig before returning the flask to his pocket. Pulling out a match, he grinned at Dizzy. The way they looked at each other in small moments reminded me of my own love for William.
William darted to me and knocked me back as Reese dropped the match. The flame plumed out towards us.
We spent hours drinking, smoking, and dancing around the fire. The sparks that flew into the night sky seemed attuned to our spirits, spitting with the music and not caring who they burnt in their devotion to us.
✷✴✷
The ride home was quiet. Everyone seemed to have melted all of their energy into the almost ritualistic frenzy. Reese drove and Dizzy napped against the window in the passenger seat. William's head rested in my lap with his heavy breathing slow. I watched his resting face the whole way home, my fingers in his hair while the other hand traced the shape of his features and caressed his blackened, bruised gash.
When we turned onto our street the tension in the car changed. William and Dizzy were still asleep but Reese slowed the car. We backed into one of the empty house's driveways. I peered around to see why.
Down the street, our home should have been barely visible in the black but we saw the flashing blue of a solitary patrol car lighting up the house. There was an officer leaning in the window of the car talking on the radio, another on the front steps, and a man in a brown suit banging on our door.
I shook William's shoulders. His eyes snapped open and he bolted up, alert. He snatched my hand as if ready to pull me to safety in an instant.
His face shifted from worry to confusion.
“They're looking for me,” Reese announced quietly. I realized he was trying not to wake Dizzy. “I'm almost done with my probation so I guess they wanted to hound me one last time.” He released and heavy sigh and threw Dizzy’s sleeping form an aching glance.
He turned off the car and opened his door. “What are you doing?” I asked, reaching to try to hold him back.
“They won't leave and everything illegal I have is in this car right now. I might as well get this over with.” He turned to slide out.
Dizzy's hand shot out and grabbed the back of his shirt, the sudden movement from his still form making me jump. He pulled Reese to him and gave him a slow kiss for luck.
Reese crept across the street before sauntering down the street as if he had simply been on a late-night stroll. We watched with anticipation as he neared the house. The cops turned when he called out a pleasant welcome.
My nerves jumbled as Reese opened our front door to let in the policemen. He stepped back as if to be polite but one put a hand on his back and shoved him inside.
What if they saw my clothes and asked questions? What if we had left our celloph
ane on the couch? Would they smell the weed and take him on the spot?
One officer stayed on the porch and watched the surroundings. Reese wasn't inside for long but when he came into view the other officer was laughing. The man who looked like a low rate lawyer wore a stiff expression as he climbed into his tan car and left Reese with the officers.
When the police got into their cruiser and began to creep down the street, heading in our direction, Dizzy pulled himself into as tight of a ball as possible and slid down in his seat. William pushed me down out of sight.
I couldn’t help but peek.
The driver met my eyes. They slowed to a stop in front of the house. My chest constricted as my heart stumbled.
He gestured to his partner in my direction. The other waved his hand to dismiss me and the driver threw me one more look of contemplation before they sped off.
I climbed into the driver's seat when the cruiser turned the corner. I kept the lights off as I drove slow. Reese was still standing on the stoop.
There were no other neighbors outside. Curtains flinched as people peeked out the windows. Even though it was probably the wee hours of the morning most of the neighborhood came out to play in the dark.
When I got out of the car I noticed Reese's expression. He was weary and worried. He kept his eyes on Dizzy, who asked a question with his hands that I didn't understand. Reese nodded slightly and looked at his feet.
“What's going on?” William asked, stepping toward Reese.
“They drug tested me.”
“How many times have you failed?”
“I haven't failed any before. I usually know when they come. I should be ok once but it's not for sure.”
The tension untangled in my gut with a rush of relief. It suddenly hit me that Dizzy had hidden in the car with us. I wondered if they knew why we were running, as I wondered why Dizzy was too.
We were all sitting on the porch watching the clouds play with the moon. I wasn't paying much attention to what was being said around me until I heard my name.
“I don't want Ruth involved in anything like that.” William's voice was hard.
Truth: Book Two of the Taboo Series Page 11