When You Are With Me

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When You Are With Me Page 3

by E. L. Todd


  Her eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

  “When was your first time?”

  “Why are you asking?”

  I shrugged. “You’ve never told me.”

  “And what does it matter?” she asked.

  “I’m just curious,” I said. “I won’t get mad or anything. There’s a lot about you I don’t know.”

  “You want to know when I had my first period too?” she asked sarcastically.

  “Actually, yes,” I said seriously.

  “You aren’t joking?”

  “No.” I always made love to her when she was on her period. It never bothered me. I’d never done it with another girl, even with a condom, because that shit was just gross. But I never felt that way about Trinity. I got blood all over my dick but it never disgusted me.

  “You really want to know?” She propped her head up on one arm.

  “Yeah.” I rested one hand behind my head.

  “Okay, fine.” She searched her memory for a moment. “It was my junior prom.”

  “When you took the football player with you?” I couldn’t remember his name.

  “Yeah.”

  “And where did you do the deed?”

  “The limo dropped off everyone first so we were the last ones inside. He came onto me and I let it happen.”

  “Did you like it?”

  “Not really,” she said. “I was really tight so it didn’t feel that good. And he wasn’t very gentle. He practically masturbated with my vagina. Then we never spoke again.”

  Her story made me sad and I wasn’t sure why. I’d taken a girl’s virginity before and I didn’t do it with gentleness, and I certainly didn’t call them ever again. The idea of someone using Trinity like that hurt. “I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

  Now I felt terrible for the way I treated women before her. And then I felt worse when I realized I even treated Trinity that way. “I’m so sorry I was a dick to you in the beginning of our relationship. I used you and that was wrong…” I never felt so ashamed or weak in my life. I actually hated myself.

  She watched me with her blue eyes. “Slade, you don’t need to apologize.”

  “I didn’t give you the respect you deserved. I do need to apologize.” I looked her in the eye when I said it. “I hurt you a lot in the beginning of our relationship and I’m sorry for that.”

  She rubbed my shoulder while she gave me a soft look. “Slade, you’re Prince Charming now. Leave the past in the past.”

  “You know I love you, right?” I asked. “I’d never hurt you or leave you.”

  “I know.” She trailed her fingers over my knuckles.

  I stared at her with sad eyes, finally understanding what it really meant to love another person. Trinity and I had been together for a long time but I was still learning. When she was in pain, I was in pain. Even if she was hurt in the past when we weren’t in love it still hurt. The love was unconditional and echoed across all periods of time. My soul actually ached.

  “I was upset about it at the time but now it’s just a story, Slade. Remember, I got my happily ever after.” She gave me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Now stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re about to cry.”

  I didn’t realize how emotional I was until she said it. Perhaps because Trinity said all she ever wanted was to be loved. I’d never forget that time when we lay in the bathtub together for the first time. She feared she would never find a man who truly loved her, who kissed the ground she walked on, and who would die for her. “Fuck, I’m not good enough for you.” I sniffed and stopped the tears from falling.

  “Don’t say that. It’s not true.” Her fingers moved through my hair.

  “It is true. Just because I love you now doesn’t justify my behavior then.”

  “Slade, you’re being too hard on yourself.” She turned my face toward her. “Remember, I was the one who accepted what you offered. I was the one who settled. How could I ever expect a man to love me if I didn’t give him a reason to? So don’t put all the blame on yourself.”

  That didn’t make me feel better but I managed to stop myself from crying.

  “Let me tell you about my first period.”

  I knew she was only doing it to change the subject.

  “I was thirteen and Skye and I were at the beach at her parents’ place. I was wearing white shorts. The blood seeped through and left a huge stain. When Sean came outside, he abruptly went inside without explaining what he was doing. Then Scarlet came out and explained what happened. So, it was pretty embarrassing. Skye already started her period so she didn’t think it was that weird.”

  “And then you became a woman…”

  She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did. So, when did you lose your virginity?”

  I sighed. “You aren’t going to believe me. Only Cayson knows this story.”

  “Try me.” She smiled at me.

  “Okay…you remember Mrs. Mancini, the Spanish teacher?”

  “Yes…” Her eyes narrowed.

  “Well…she was my first.”

  “Seriously?” Her jaw dropped. “When?”

  “She asked me to come to her classroom after school to talk about an exam. I’d already gotten the vibe from her, but when she started to flirt with me I confirmed she was attracted to me. So, I rolled a condom on and fucked her on her desk. I’m pretty sure I made her come even though I wasn’t totally sure what I was doing.”

  “I can’t believe that…”

  “I told you.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Like…fourteen.”

  “My god, that’s just gross,” Trinity said.

  “Well, I was almost six foot when I entered high school. And we both know all the girls liked me—even before I had ink.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t act like it isn’t true.”

  “I didn’t say it wasn’t…”

  “You think less of me?” I asked while I looked at her.

  “No. My opinion of you hasn’t changed.”

  “Really?” I checked her face for honesty.

  “Yes,” she said in an annoyed voice. “If I thought you were a dick, I would tell you.”

  She had a point.

  “So, what’s your number?”

  “Of girls I’ve had in the sack?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  This was dangerous territory. “Does it really matter, baby?”

  “I’m not going to get mad.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I didn’t already know you slept with anything that had a wet vagina.”

  “It’s still weird to talk about…”

  “Just answer my question.”

  I sighed. “Well, give me a second…” I started to tally them up, and when I counted all the girls in high school, the girls I met over the summers when I hit the beach, and then college…it added up.

  “So?” she asked.

  “One hundred and twenty five—twenty six. Somewhere around there.”

  She whistled. “Holy crap…”

  “Want to know something interesting?” I asked. “Most of the girls I slept with were in college. No wonder why I had such terrible grades.” I laughed at my own comment.

  “So interesting,” she said sarcastically. “So, I’m one twenty six.”

  “No, you’re the one, baby.”

  Her eyes softened. “I guess I can’t complain. Without all that experience you wouldn’t be so good in the sack.”

  “That’s a good way to look at it. How many guys have you slept with that couldn’t make you come?”

  “Almost all of them,” she said with a laugh. “It’s like they’ve never heard of a clitoris before.”

  “I always deliver.” I gave her a wink.

  “You do,” she agreed.

  “And now you’re the only one who gets to take advantage of what I have to offer. If we’
re being real, we both know I don’t have much else to offer.”

  “We both know that isn’t true, Slade.”

  “I ink for a living. Enough said.”

  “You ink because you love it. And I respect that.”

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” She leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth.

  I released a quiet moan. “You know what I want?”

  “Hmm?” she asked.

  “To eat macaroni and cheese with little cut-up hotdogs—on you.”

  “So sexy…” She smiled and her eyes lit up.

  I got out of bed. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

  “You’re being serious?” she asked incredulously.

  “Dead serious.”

  She sighed in annoyance, but since she stayed in the same spot, I knew she was excited too.

  Chapter Three

  Trinity

  After Slade came home from work, we picked up Skye and Cayson and headed to the winery in Connecticut. They sat in the backseat holding hands.

  “I’m so excited to see it,” Skye said from the rear.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said. “You’ll love it.”

  “I’m sure I will,” Skye said.

  Slade held my hand in his lap while he drove. He was even more attentive to me than usual. My story of how I lost my virginity seemed to hit him hard. I already knew he loved me and cared about me, but somehow that love seemed to grow—still.

  “You want to change the station, baby?” Slade asked.

  “This is fine.” I wasn’t really listening to it.

  “Well, we can listen to whatever you want,” he said.

  “Wow,” Cayson said. “Slade has always been a Nazi about the radio. You trained him good, Trin.”

  I smiled even though I shouldn’t. “I think Slade is just sweet. And it catches people by surprise.”

  “A little too sweet…” Skye smiled then looked out the window.

  Slade glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “What was that, brat?”

  “Nothing.” She kept her mouth shut.

  “All the guys at the gym think I’m gay now.” Cayson sighed as he looked out the window.

  “Why do they think that?” I asked.

  “Because your fiancé acted like we were damn lovers,” Cayson snapped.

  “I did not,” Slade argued. “I was just talking to you.”

  “And saying I was the only one,” Cayson argued. “I don’t blame them for thinking it.”

  “What?” Slade asked. “Am I not good enough for you?”

  Cayson shook his head. “I’m not having this conversation with you…”

  “I’m handsome as fuck and I’m covered in sleeves,” Slade said. “You’d be damn lucky to have me. Right, baby?”

  “Yep.” I tried not to laugh.

  “Let’s just drop it,” Cayson said.

  “You were the one acting like a girl because I was hanging out with Arsen,” Slade snapped.

  “I wasn’t acting like a girl,” Cayson said. “I just—”

  “Clementine is pregnant,” Skye blurted.

  Silence rang in the car.

  “What?” I turned around and looked at Skye. “You’re serious?”

  She nodded.

  “How far along is she?” I asked.

  “About three months,” she said.

  “Is it Ward’s?” I asked. “Their babies are going to be so gorgeous.”

  Cayson shot me a glare.

  “It’s not his,” Skye said. “It’s some guy she hooked up with. Apparently, he took off when she told him she was pregnant.”

  Cayson looked out the window. “Fucking coward…”

  “No way!” I couldn’t believe this.

  Slade tried to make sense of it. “So, she has a baby growing inside her?”

  “Yes,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “That’s what being pregnant means, idiot.”

  “You want me to pull over and slap that ass?” He looked at me threateningly.

  “Keep your eyes on the road so we don’t die,” I argued. “Thanks. We appreciate it.”

  He growled then looked forward.

  I turned back to Skye. “I can’t believe this.”

  “Yeah, it’s crazy,” Skye said. “I feel bad for her. I know she can raise the baby on her own but that doesn’t mean it will be easy.”

  “Yeah…” It would terrify me. “But she’s not totally alone. She’s got all of us. I mean, if we put our heads together we should be able to figure it out.”

  “True,” Skye said. “But I’m sure having a man around is what she would prefer.”

  “Well, she’s got me,” Cayson said. “I’ll help her raise that baby. It’s my niece or nephew anyway.”

  It was sweet that Cayson was supportive. He seemed protective most of the time. “I can’t believe she and Ward aren’t getting back together…”

  “I know.” Skye looked genuinely sad. “I really hoped they would. Ward was helplessly in love with her. I think he still is.”

  “Did he say that?”

  “No, but I can tell,” she said. “He hasn’t been the same since they broke up. I have a feeling he’ll never be the same.”

  “Too bad…”

  “Not really,” Cayson said darkly.

  Skye cast him a menacing look.

  “Is she still going to work for the symphony?” I asked.

  “Actually, she works at PIXEL,” Skye said. “She’s my dad’s secretary.”

  “Say what?” Slade swerved slightly.

  “It has a good salary, benefits, retirement, and maternity leave,” Skye explained.

  “That’s crazy,” I said. “So now you, Conrad, and Clemy all work there.”

  “And I wonder who will be next,” Skye said.

  I turned back around in my seat. “I just can’t believe it…were her parents mad?”

  “Mom is okay with it,” Cayson said. “Dad is…not handling it well.”

  “He should be supportive,” Skye said, like she was holding Cayson responsible for his father’s lack of cooperation.

  “I know he should,” Cayson said. “He’s just disappointed in her. I don’t blame him. It would be hard to know your daughter was knocked up by some dickhead then took off.”

  “Even then,” I said. “Clemy needs support.”

  “Well, she has us,” Skye said.

  “We should throw a shower for her,” I said. “Do something to cheer her up so she doesn’t feel alone.”

  “Good idea,” Skye said.

  I thought about Ward again. “How is Ward handling it…?”

  Skye was quiet for a long time. “He was devastated. At first he thought it was his, and I think he was even hoping it was his. But when she said it wasn’t…he was pretty beat up over it.”

  “Poor guy,” I said.

  “He’ll get over it,” Cayson said.

  This time Skye smacked him on the arm. “The only person who doesn’t like Ward is you. So, you’re obviously the one with the problem.”

  “I don’t think Slade would like him either if he made out with Trinity,” Cayson countered.

  “Whoa, what?” Slade said, turning to me. “He made out with you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “He meant hypothetically.”

  “Oh.” He relaxed. “Now I don’t like him because just the thought pisses me off.”

  I sighed, hating the amount of testosterone in the car.

  We approached the vineyard on the left. “Here it is. Slow down.”

  Slade did as I asked then drove down the dirt path. The vineyards were on either side and stretched as far as the eye could see. The white mansion at the end of the road had a fountain in the center of the roundabout.

  Slade whistled. “Man, I’m glad your dad is paying for this and we aren’t.”

  “I already love it,” Skye said.

  We parked then got out.

  Slade immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me close t
o him.

  My dad’s car was in the driveway. “Dad must be in the back.”

  We walked along the side of the trail until we reached the rear. Fountains were interspersed throughout the lawn, and it looked like an image from a movie. It was gorgeous, to say the least.

  Dad had his arm around Mom, and he was holding a glass of wine while he spoke to a woman in a cream dress.

  “Hey, Dad,” I said as we approached.

  Dad turned then embraced me. “You were right, sweetheart. This place is great.” He hugged Slade next then patted me on the shoulder.

  The rest of us exchanged embraces then walked along the path with the tour guide.

  “Fair warning, you’ll fall in love with this place once you look at it,” the host said.

  I squeezed Slade’s hand “I think we’ve already fallen in love.”

  ***

  “We can put the tigers here,” Slade said. “Two on each side. They can be there when you walked down the aisle and—”

  “Slade.” I held up my hand. “We aren’t getting tigers.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t you think it’s inhumane to have them sit in cages for eight hours while we have a good time?”

  He seemed to agree with that. “Well, why don’t we let them out of the cages?”

  I loved my fiancé very much, but sometimes I wondered what the hell was going through that brain of his. “Because we’ll die.”

  “No, we can put them on leashes. That way they can walk around a little bit.”

  I wanted to scream. “No. Tigers.”

  “Come on, baby.”

  “You can have anything else,” I said. “You want to have an inking station at the wedding, fine. If you want to have beer pong at the wedding, fine. Even if you wanted to have a bounce house, fine. But no damn tigers!”

  He sighed in defeat. “Fine. Whatever.”

  “Thank you.” Finally, that argument was laid to rest.

  We rejoined the rest of the group at the table and sipped the complimentary wine they provided.

  “Here’s the price breakdown.” She handed Dad the sheet.

  “It looks great,” he said, hardly looking at it.

  “This doesn’t include food…” She clearly didn’t recognize my father.

  “That’s fine,” he said. “Trinity can pick out the caterers when she’s ready.”

 

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