by E. L. Todd
Cayson and I walked out.
***
We pulled up to the house but didn’t cross the property line. I looked between the pillars for her car. It was dark and I couldn’t see much but I definitely didn’t see her white Honda in the roundabout.
“I don’t see her car either,” Cayson noted. “Maybe it’s in the garage?”
“No. Her parents leave their cars in there.” I sighed in defeat. Trinity left and she didn’t want me to find her. I was shattered when we broke up the first time. I was just a shadow of my former self. But now…this was worse. She didn’t want to be with me anymore. She left me.
Tears emerged into my eyes and I couldn’t keep them back. The truck was still on and my foot weakly pressed on the break. Then the tears bubble then leaked down my cheeks. I took a deep breath and felt the pain deep inside. “Fuck, it hurts.”
Cayson didn’t look directly at me. But he put his arm around my shoulder in support. “I’m sure she’s just upset. Talk to her and she’ll come around. Don’t give up just yet.”
“She’s never done this before.” I kept crying and couldn’t stop. “She’s never even hinted at ever wanting to leave me. It’s so…unlike her. I really fucked it up, Cayson. I get too angry and I say things I don’t mean…I really love her.”
“I know, man. Tell her that and everything will be fine.”
“I can’t even find my own girl…” Man, I was pathetic.
“We’ll find her, okay? She’s got to go to work in the morning. You’ll run into her there.”
That gave me some hope. “Yeah…” I wiped my tears away.
“So, let’s head back and get some sleep.”
There was no way I was sleeping tonight.
***
I got to her building first thing in the morning. I wore the same thing I wore last night because I never went home or went to bed. I lay on Skye’s couch as I waited for the sun to rise. My heart was beating so fast in terror.
I couldn’t lose her.
I made it to her floor then marched past her secretary’s desk. I threw the door open and marched inside.
But she wasn’t there.
The seat was vacated and the desk was clean. I turned to the couch and saw a pile of coats.
She must have slept here.
But now she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
I checked her desk for clues but I didn’t see anything that could help me find her. When I realized being there wouldn’t help my search, I walked out. “Where’s Trinity?” I leaned over the secretary’s desk threateningly.
“Uh…” She leaned back, clearly terrified of me. “She said she was working from home today.”
She was? I looked around the floor and wondered if she was somewhere inside it. Perhaps in a different room? I took off to further my search.
“Sir, what are you doing?” the secretary asked.
I kept going. I checked all the different offices, the closets, the design rooms, and even the bathrooms. She was nowhere to be found. If she wasn’t here, then where would she be?
***
I headed back to the apartment we shared but realized nothing had changed since the last time I was there. It didn’t seem like she’d been there. I searched through her closet and realized nothing had been taken. Her phone charger was still there, along with everything else she owned.
Fuck, I’m terrified.
I couldn’t find my own fiancé.
Well, I guess she’s not my fiancé anymore…
The thought stung—bad.
***
I checked with everyone a second time.
“Is she there?” I asked Conrad when I got him on the phone.
“Dude, I’m on my way to work. No, she’s not at my apartment. What are you guys fighting about now?”
I hung up then called Roland.
“No, she’s still not here,” he said the moment he answered.
I hung up and called Silke.
“What’s up, bro?”
“I’m looking for Trinity. Have you seen her?”
“No…why?”
“Are you lying to me?”
“Why would I lie to my brother about where his fiancé is?” she demanded.
“Swear to me,” I snapped.
“Shit, something bad happened, didn’t it?”
“Swear to me.”
“I swear,” she said quickly. “I would tell you if I knew where she was. What happened—”
I hung up without listening to her response.
Fuck, where was she? I rested my head on the table and tried to think. I had to track her down. We would cross paths eventually because it was impossible for us not to. But I had to talk to her now. I had to get her to put this ring back on—pronto.
The phone rang and I answered it without checking to see who it was. “Trinity?”
“Uh, no,” Conrad said. “It’s me.”
“Unless you know where she is, don’t call me.”
“That’s the thing,” he said. “I think I might know where she is.”
My heart sped up. “Tell me.”
“Well, I think she’s here.”
“Where’s here?” I snapped.
“PIXEL. I thought I saw her heading into a vacant office. But I’m not sure. It might not have been her.”
She was at PIXEL? Fuck, that was the worst place she could go. Mike obviously knew she was there, and he would guard her like a hound. He was going to hate me all over again.
“You there?” Conrad asked.
“Yeah, I’m on my way.”
***
I immediately headed for Mike’s office the moment I walked inside. I was dreading talking to him but I couldn’t wait at the same time. I needed to see Trinity. I needed to get on my knees and beg her to put her ring back on.
Without knocking, I entered Mike’s office. He was on the phone but I didn’t care about my manners. “Let me see her.”
Mike stared at me with stern look. “Carl, I’ll call you back.” He hung up then turned to me. “Who?”
“Trinity. I know she’s here.”
He rapped his knuckles on the desk. “She’s really upset.”
“I know.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was so terrified I was going to lose my girl, my other half.
“You want my advice?”
“No. But I have a feeling I’m going to get it anyway.”
“And you’d be right.” He leaned back in his chair. “Give her some space. Don’t come to her when she’s fired up and angry. Space does wonders.”
“No,” I said. “I have to make this right.”
He sighed. “I’ve been married for a long time. Trust me on this.”
“It’s not a normal fight,” I said. “I need to talk to her now.”
He sighed loudly.
“I’ll tear this place down if I have to,” I said. “I will find her even if you try to stop me.”
“I’m not trying to stop you,” he said simply. “I’m trying to help you.”
This is not the reaction I expected. I thought he would break my neck for hurting Trinity again. I didn’t expect him to be so understanding.
“You clearly aren’t going to take my advice so…” He stood up and came around the desk. “Let’s go.”
“You’re taking me to her?”
“Yes.” He walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets. Then he reached a door on the other side of the floor and knocked. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, Dad.”
He opened the door and I squeezed passed him so I could get inside. “Trinity.”
She was sitting at a desk with papers scattered around her. She regarded me with cold eyes. “Dad, I told you not to tell him I was here.”
“I know what you said.” He pulled out a chair and pointed at it. “Sit, Slade.”
He would be joining our conversation?
Mike sat down between us. “I want to say something before you start yelling at each other. And yo
u’re going to listen to me.”
I stared at Trinity the entire time, begging her to take me back with just my eyes.
She wouldn’t look at me.
“I want you both to remember how much you love each other. It took me a long time to understand your relationship because of how odd it is, but I have no doubt that I’m in the presence of two people who truly love each other.” He looked back and forth between us. “Relationships aren’t easy. They’re a lot of work. My wife and I haven’t always been as perfect as we are now. Every couple has their dark time. Just keep in mind why you’re together to begin with.”
I continued to stare at Trinity and wished I could touch her.
“Just remember that.” Mike left the room then closed the door behind him.
Trinity stared at the desk. She was holding a pen and she fidgeted with it.
I knew I had to go about this carefully. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
She didn’t react in any way.
“Last night was the worst night of my life,” I whispered. “I cried harder than I’ve ever had and I hit rock bottom. Just a few hours without you in my life scared the living shit out of me. Baby, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything you want.” My eyes built up with moisture and I tried to blink it away.
“What are you sorry for?” she said coldly.
“For making you mad,” I answered. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head slightly. “You don’t even know why I’m upset.”
I didn’t. “Then tell me. I’m listening. Talk to me.” I was desperate and it leaked out of every pore.
She shook her head again. “You’ve grown a lot in this relationship, and I’m proud of you for that. But you still act like a child. I’m sick of you getting mad over petty things, but I’m more upset that you leave every time our relationship gets rough. Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was to go to your parents to drag you home? And do you know how mortifying it was to fight with you when they could hear every word? I need a man, Slade. Not a little boy that runs away from his responsibilities. I’m sick of you walking out all the time. If you’d come home like you were supposed to, you would have found out that Target, one of the biggest retailers on the planet, has picked up my clothing line. It’s such an amazing accomplishment. That was why I was too fucking busy to have lunch with you.” She didn’t even glance at me. “That’s why I’m pissed off, Slade. I can’t marry someone who runs away like a child. I need a man that will come home to me every night, even if he is pissed off. And I need someone who isn’t selfish and egotistical. You aren’t the only thing in my life I care about. I have dreams and passions and you need to support them, not put yourself in front of them. I’ve supported your music career even though women chuck their thongs at you. And you can’t be supportive of this?” She finally looked at me, and the look was full of disdain. “I love you for who you are. I know you’re different and unusual. I understand you’re bad-tempered and argumentative. That’s never been the problem. But how you handle real situations is unacceptable.”
I had no argument against anything she said. She was right in every way imaginable.
“I feel like you don’t understand who I am,” she said. “I’m ambitious and determined to make my own way in life. I want to have my own clothing line, and I want to be one of the most renowned designers in the world. How can I accomplish that when my partner is holding me back, stressing me out because I can’t have lunch with him for a week?” She looked back at the pen in her hands.
I had to tread carefully. I wanted her back. I had to get her back. “You’re right about everything.”
She turned to me, clearly surprised by what I said.
“I’ve never been in a relationship and I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m learning. I understand why you’re upset every time I run away. But I didn’t know how much it bothered you. Trinity, I’m very sorry and it won’t happen again—ever. I promise. I give you my word.”
She turned her attention back to her pen.
“I want you to succeed at your dream. You’ve always been supportive of mine and of course I’m supportive of yours. I’m so proud of you for all you’ve accomplished. I really am. Sometimes I get a little jealous that I’m not the only important thing in your life. And I know that’s unacceptable.”
She still didn’t look at me.
“Baby, I’m sorry and I will do whatever you want to make this work. I will do everything you ask of me, and not just because I want to keep you in my life, but because you’re right. Please, take me back. I’ve never been so hurt in my entire life.”
She took a deep breath and played with the pen in her hands.
I moved out of my chair and got on my knees in front of her. “I’m begging. I’m on my knees and I’m begging. Please.” I grabbed her hand and turned her toward me. There were tears of pain in my eyes. “I can’t live without you. I will be the best damn husband I can possibly be. I’ll work on it every day. Please marry me. Please don’t go. I’ll do anything you want.”
She looked at me with sad eyes, and I knew she was softening up.
I pulled the ring out of my pocket. “Please. I love you. I’ll be better from now on. I promise.” I grabbed her hand and tried to slide the ring back on her finger.
But she pulled away.
And I wanted to die.
“We’ll talk about this when I get home, Slade. I have a lot of stuff I need to do today.”
I wanted to settle this now. I didn’t want to continue my day not knowing if she was my fiancé. But I just promised I would do whatever she asked. If she needed space, I had to give it to her. “So, you’ll be coming to the apartment tonight?”
“Yes.”
Well, at least I knew she would be coming home. “Okay.” I forced the words out of my mouth. I rose to my feet and returned the ring to my pocket. “I’ll see you later, then…”
She got back to work and ignored me.
I didn’t bother saying goodbye or telling her I loved her. It would be too painful not to hear her say it back.
Chapter Fourteen
Trinity
Slade had a much different reaction than I expected. Knowing him, I expected to have another fight that would destroy the entire building of PIXEL. Never once did I expect him to apologize, and never did I expect him to actually mean it.
He seemed torn apart and broken, like he couldn’t emotionally handle the way I left him. Tears sprung in his eyes immediately and he didn’t hide the emotion. He got on his knees and begged me to take him back.
How did I say no to that?
Maybe he could really do as I ask. Maybe he could really grow.
I decided not to dwell on it and continued working in the office my father let me use. I had to rely on my secretary to be my eyes and ears at the company, and she did a fairly good job. Most of the time I just had paperwork and phone calls to make, so being outside the office wasn’t too bad.
Toward the end of the day, my dad came inside. “Hey, sweetheart. Almost done?”
“Yeah.” I put the phone on the receiver. “Man, running a business is tough.”
He gave me an amused expression before he shut the door behind him and sat down. “This is only the beginning. I see a great future for you.”
“If there is, I got it from you.”
“You flatter me.”
I stacked up my papers then cleaned off the desk that didn’t seem to belong to anyone. “I guess I’ll be heading out.”
Dad suddenly turned serious. “Did you work it out with Slade?”
I flinched at the topic. “Well…we’ll talk when I get home.”
“May I ask what happened?” When I first came to the office, he knew I was upset with Slade but he didn’t pester me with questions. He gave me space.
“It’s a long story…”
“Well, I got all the time in the world for my daughter.” He rested one ankle on the opposite knee and res
ted his fingers on his lips.
I sighed before I began. “We argue a lot and that’s never bothered me. But he always runs away instead of talking it out with me. He won’t come home unless I drag him by the neck. And he gets upset over the dumbest things. For some reason…it scared me. I’m marrying him and I need to marry a man, not a boy. I understand that Slade is still learning but his behavior was too juvenile. I just freaked out.”
He remained silent for a long time, making sure I was finished. “I understand your point of view.”
“We argued in front of his parents and screamed at each other,” I said. “It was so embarrassing. I felt like two teenagers instead of two adults about to get married. Sometimes I get tired of his bullshit.”
He nodded. “You’re justified in feeling that way.”
I spun the pen in my fingers, trying to remain calm.
“Can I say something?”
“Sure.” My dad was probably about to say Slade was a piece of shit and I shouldn’t marry him.
“Did you ever tell Slade to change his behavior before?”
That’s not what I was expecting. “Well, no…”
“Then how did you expect him to know that wasn’t okay?” he asked. “You should have told him that it’s unacceptable for him to leave the apartment every time you guys argue. That’s not what adults in a committed relationship do. Perhaps it you told him that this wouldn’t have happened.”
I knew he was right. “Yeah…maybe.”
“What I don’t understand is, why did you immediately end the relationship?” He stared into my eyes and watched my reaction.
“I guess…sometimes I get scared. I know Slade loves me and he’s a good man, but sometimes I fear his lack of experience and common sense will kill me. Sometimes I get scared of our marriage five or ten years down the road. He’s grown so much but maybe he’s reached his limit.”
He nodded. “That makes sense.”
“Yeah?” I asked, glad he was being understanding.
“But I think you’re wrong.”
I turned to him in surprise.
“Slade is the right guy for you, Trinity. While his inadequacies are frustrating, they are endearing. Anytime he hurts you, it’s not intentional. I think you’re learning as much as he is. I understand why you were upset and why you pushed him away, but I think it’s wrong that you returned his ring and took off without talking to him.”