My feet are already hurting in these heels by the time we reach the top, but I'm determined not to let that ruin my night. I’ll stumble back to the pool house with bloodied feet if I have to. I won't give this night up for anything. Besides, the funny little butterflies in my tummy keep whispering that tonight is going to be different, that Colton is going to be different. After all, he invited me here as his guest and that has to mean something, right? Maybe he’s ready to put the worst behind him or maybe he’s ready to tell me whatever it is he keeps holding back from me.
All I know is that Nic’s warning hasn’t stopped going through my mind and that’s probably because we still haven’t talked. I hate it. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a week without talking to him. Not even a simple text, but that’s what you get when you mix two people with stubborn as hell attitudes.
Soft music flows outside as Milo’s hand tightens on my lower back. “Are you ready?”
I look down, and quickly adjust the gloves that sit high above my elbows then follow the line down the soft golden silk that brushes gently along the ground. “Yeah,” I tell him, forcing the butterflies out once and for all. “I’m more than ready.”
We walk through the door and are instantly welcomed by a host who takes Milo’s jacket and asks if she can check my purse. I hold on to it and thank her anyway simply because I don't think a complete stranger has ever been so kind to me before.
We get three more steps before a woman with a tray of champagne flutes comes walking by. Milo stops her and takes two glasses, handing one to me before sending her on her way. I instantly take a sip and notice it’s not the bitter champagne that I hated at the last party, but the sweet, fruity one that I had drunk instead.
Half the glass is gone before we even walk out of the foyer and into the main ballroom. We step through the doors and I’m surprised to see so many people already here. It's only 7:30 pm but I guess when Charles Carrington is throwing a party, you want to soak up every last second.
I find myself looking around and can't help but feel like tonight is an old school Taylor Swift song. It’s sparkling and enchanting. It's everything I hoped from a fairytale night.
Milo and I get halfway across the floor when I find him.
Colton Carrington.
As if sensing me, his hazel eyes turn my way and they send electricity shooting down my spine. He wears a light grey three-piece suit with a white dress shirt that fits him perfectly. He looks like he’s just been pulled out of either a James Bond movie or a GQ magazine.
His eyes never break from mine. He looks hungry, and from the way he starts making his way toward me, it’s clear that tonight he won’t be holding back.
I swallow my nerves and notice that as he gets closer, his metal, gold-plated mask perfectly complements my gown and I’m left speechless. Surely that wasn’t on purpose … right?
Why do I feel so nervous around him? Why am I so desperate for him to take my hand and kiss me as though I'm the only girl in the world? This is the guy who declared he was going to make my life a living hell, he’s the guy who stood back and watched as five guys poured acidic grease all over me, he’s the one who’s made me feel small ever since I got here, yet he’s also the one who has gone out of his way to protect me, stand up for me, save me.
My world is quickly beginning to revolve around him and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me.
Colton steps up in front of me, tall, dark, and oh so fucking handsome. His eyes roam over my face while mine mimics his movements. I swallow hard, feeling my mouth begin to dry. I need to feel my lips on his. It’s been way too long since he kissed me last and I’m quickly beginning to realize that his kiss is my drug and I’m deeply addicted.
As if on instinct, his hand reaches out to mine and I take it willingly, both of us watching with shallow breath as his fingers lace through mine.
What is this?
A throat clears beside us and both our heads whip up to Milo. His eyes are cautiously on mine, a secret message within them asking me what I want to do when it occurs to me that Colton and the rest of the room think that Milo and I are together.
I go to pull my hand free but Colton tightens his grip. He's not letting go, at least not for the rest of the night.
Colton looks to Milo and somehow it turns into a pissing contest but it doesn’t last long because Colton is a Carrington and he’s been taught from a young age to take what he wants and don’t relent.
Milo bows out while slipping my purse from my hand and I want to curse him while also thanking him but I can’t do either because the second he’s gone, all that exists is Colton.
He tugs gently on my hand and I fall into his side, allowing him to lead me through the room the same way Milo had been doing. His hand falls to my bare back and the heat that comes from his touch is enough to leave my skin burning and desperate for more. The champagne flute is plucked out of my hand and swiftly delivered on to a passing waitresses tray and before I know it, we’re heading for the dance floor.
Colton walks in silence, neither of us knowing what to say. When we reach the dance floor, he spins me into his arms and my hand instantly falls to his wide chest, taking possession as though it was mine to claim. Colton’s arm curls around my lower back and just as he had done earlier, claims me. Our hands find one another’s and just to add a little more confusion to the mix, he pulls me in tight to his body.
I don’t understand this. All this time I thought he was afraid to show the world that there was something—however minimal—between us, yet here he is, displaying it for the world to see. Every one of the wealthy bastards in this town are here tonight and Colton is flaunting the trash their family brought in. It doesn’t make sense but for tonight, I think I can try to forget.
Maybe it’s the masks acting as armor, and making us brave.
My eyes close for a brief second, inhaling and smelling his manly scent that drives me wild. I’ve never smelt anything like it. It’s so naturally him with a splash of greek God.
The music flows through the room and Colton is quick to pick up the rhythm, leading me just as easily as Milo had done at the Black and White party. A million questions rush through my mind but I put each of them aside, refusing to ruin this moment with talk. After all, Colton and I seem overly compatible except for when it comes time to communicate.
As we dance, Nic's warning comes back to haunt me. He said I was going to get hurt and I think he might have been right. Colton Carrington has all the power here. I'm putty in his hands yet for some reason, I’m allowing it to continue.
Colton’s hand travels up my spine and pulls me in tighter so that my face hovers just by his. If I didn't have these heels, I'd be squished into his chest, which really isn't a problem for me, but this just adds to the perfection of my night.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Jade," he murmurs so low that I wonder if I heard him correctly.
My heart races as I pull back and look up into his deep, hazel eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them quite so dark before. I’m completely captivated by him. Every tiny little move he makes is written on my soul and it scares me like never before.
I can’t be feeling like this when it comes to Colton Carrington. I should be wanting to tear him apart for making a comment like that. Why is he making this so much harder?
I tilt my chin, needing to see him properly. “Don’t do this,” I beg.
His brows furrow as his eyes pierce right through to my soul. “Do what?”
“Make it so damn hard to hate you.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to hate me, not anymore.”
Those fucking beautiful words. I don't think he understands the power they hold because if he did, there’s no way in hell he’d be uttering them to me. Surely this is some kind of game and just when I think everything is falling into place, he's going to pull the rug from under my feet. So, why does it feel so damn real?
“I don’t think you know what you want,” I whisper, watching the way
his gaze focuses heavily on mine.
“You might be right about that,” he says as his hand slides down my back, trailing over my spine and making goosebumps rise over my skin. “But I know what I want right now.”
Oh, holy hell. This isn’t good.
He moves into me and everything goes weak. All that exists at this moment is him.
Why do I need this so bad?
Colton gets closer and closer and his intentions become startlingly clear. He's going to kiss me and I’m going to love it, need it, crave it but most of all, it’s going to end me. I don't know if I have the strength to keep hating him after this. Our first few kisses were different. They were hungry and spoke from a part of us that we couldn't control, but this … this is so much more. This isn’t just our bodies speaking, this is our hearts and that’s where it gets dangerous … complicated.
His arms tighten around my body and I’m a fucking goner. I know I should tell him no. I know I should try to stop this, but I can’t. I need his kiss more than I need my next breath. Come tomorrow, I can curse myself and go over all the reasons why this was such a horrible mistake, but for now, I have no choice but to make the mistake and make it damn good.
His face comes right in front of mine and he stops, waiting for me to close the last inch between us.
This is it. My final chance at escape, my very last shot at saving myself the heartache that is bound to come after this, because there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going to break me, but what’s more, I’m going to let him.
Putting my heart and sanity on the line, I raise my chin, closing the gap, and finally feel his soft lips press against mine.
My knees go weak and if he wasn’t holding me up, I’m sure I’d be some kind of puddle at his feet. My brain screams at me, telling me how wrong it is but as his lips start moving against mine, every last thought turns to mush.
He holds me tight while at the same time, his touch is feather soft. It's as though I'm precious to him, something worth valuing. I know Nic loves me in his own distorted, over-protective way, but he’s never held me like this. Colton and I don’t have a history or even a proper relationship between us and already the connection I feel between us right now is stronger than anything I’ve ever had with Nic.
He makes my heart race, my palms sweat, my breath catch in my throat. He’s somehow everything to me while also being absolutely nothing at all. It’s the most confusing and infuriating thing I’ve ever felt. Every moment of every day, I need to know where he is, I want to be in the same room as him, while desperately needing to get away.
I’ve never felt such confusion. I need some sort of clarification from him. I need him to tell me what the hell is going on here and why I feel the way I do, but deep down, I know he’s just as confused as I am. He has no fucking clue and is going off instinct, but come tomorrow when the gown is gone, the music stops playing and the party fades away, we’ll be back to square one and that knowledge sits heavy on my chest.
His tongue sweeps into my mouth and I welcome it with a desperation I wasn’t aware I was capable of. My hand slides up his chest and wraps around the back of his neck, holding him tight and silently begging him not to stop.
That delicious scent of his cologne wraps around me and I get lost in time. I don't know how long we stand here in the middle of the dance floor fused to each other, but my mind slowly begins to come back.
Milo is here somewhere and I remember that I’m supposed to be playing the role of his doting girlfriend but I guess that didn’t last long. My mom is also making her rounds through the party and I cringe at the thought that she’s seen me getting too close to her boss’ son. I can only imagine what she’s thinking right now.
The thought sobers me and I reluctantly pull back from the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. I can’t help but meet his eyes and when I do, I find them filled with lust. So dark and wanting. My hand slips back down to his chest with my fingers splayed across the material of his soft grey suit. “What is this?”
He shakes his head before dropping his forehead softly against mine and finding my hand. His fingers lace through mine just as they were before we reached the dance floor and the butterflies in my stomach go nuts all over again.
“Don’t ruin this by putting labels on it,” he finally says. “All I know is that for some reason, I can’t stay away from you.”
My voice lowers to the softest whisper. “I don’t want you to.”
His intense gaze remains on mine, neither of us knowing where to go from here. I’m in unchartered territory and I’ve never felt so lost. Any move I make could have this all falling apart while at the same time, I’d be smart to stop this now.
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I murmur. “I’m ‘the help.’ I’m trash. Why suddenly change your mind?”
“Look at yourself, Jade,” he says, his voice thick with something I can’t quite put my finger on. “Do you look like trash? You may be the help but you’ve never been trash. You belong here with me.”
I shake my head though I have no way of knowing if it’s out of confusion or because I simply don’t agree. “I … I don’t know.”
His hand tightens on my waist. “What’s the deal with Rinaldi? Are you together?”
“No, we’re just …”
“That’s all I needed to know, Jade.”
This is dangerous for us both. His reputation might not withstand the rumors of getting together with the help, while my heart couldn’t handle the torture of people’s scrutiny. I can just imagine what they would say about me and it sounds a lot like the comments that fly through my mind every time I think of Jacqueline Vanderbilt. Though one thing is for sure, Colton has already publicly flaunted his desire to get something from me, and while one night with the help won’t hurt him, having a relationship with me would.
Disappointment flares through me and I push against his chest, pulling myself out of his arms. “We shouldn’t do this,” I tell him, feeling myself begin to break. “Even if it is just for tonight, it’s not going to end well for either of us.”
He steps into me, trying to capture me once again. “It’ll be fine,” he promises.
“I just … I can’t,” I say, stepping out of his reach. “I’m sorry, I need to think about this.”
I walk away before he has the chance to change my mind and I curse myself for being so stupid. I should be dancing in his arms and living my Cinderella fairy tale. I should be taking a risk, giving it my all and seeing where it gets me, but I can't because I know how hard it’s going to hurt when he changes his mind.
I wasn’t meant for this world, no matter what he thinks. It’s just a dress and a little makeup, apart from that, I’m still the girl from Breakers Flats, I’m still the girl who grew up surrounded by gang violence and living day to day not knowing if I was going to eat.
This world isn’t me and despite how sparkly and tempting it is, I can't let it claim me. It will chew me up and spit me out. It’ll destroy me.
Chapter 30
My shoulders slam into other guests as I try to navigate my way through the crowd. I still can’t believe how many people showed up here tonight, but that’s the least of my worries.
I somehow make it to the back door and I push out into the fresh air, taking a deep breath. I hadn’t realized how desperately I needed that.
I start making my way down to the gardens but after the rainfall we had during the week, the ground is soft and my heels quickly begin sinking into the grass. I turn and hightail it back to the mansion. I’m all about taking a stroll through the gardens on a fresh evening like tonight dressed like some kind of princess, but not at the risk of looking like an awkward baby duck trying to make its way through thick mud. I’ve already made a fool of myself too many times, I won't be doing it again.
I get up to one of the many outdoor entertaining areas and as I look back inside the floor to ceiling glass wall, I find Colton standing with Charlie in deep conversation, both their eyes trained o
n me.
I look away, unable to handle the jealousy in Charlie’s and the intensity from Colton. I need to think this through. I need a plan, or at least an idea of how I should handle this. I need to call Nic and tell him that he was right. I need things to be okay between us again and I need my world to stop feeling so alien.
Knowing that if I walk around to the pool house, there’s a big risk of me hiding out and pretending my problems don’t exist. Not wanting my night to be over, I walk out by the main pool and stand at the side, listening to the sound of the waterfall raining over the deep end of the pool.
It’s simply stunning. It’s the best pool in Bellevue Springs and that’s saying a lot, though I've come to learn that when dealing with anything on the Carrington property, it’s usually the very best money can buy. That’s just the way that Charles likes it.
With my feet hurting from the heels, I lift the bottom of my gown and slip out of my shoes, groaning with the pleasure of having bare feet. I lift my gown a little higher and drop down beside the pool before dangling my legs into the water and being extra careful not to let any of the golden silk fall into the pool.
This dress costs more than I could make in a year and the thought of having even an inch of it destroyed by pool water makes me want to hurl. Hell, I feel awful about the price tag on this thing. If I can, I’ll be heading right back to the store and checking out their returns policy. Besides, it’s not like I can wear it to another event. I'd be the laughing stock. Rewearing a dress around here is as good as committing a crime.
It’s so damn beautiful out here. I don’t understand why I spend so much time locked up in the pool house. I should come out here more often and enjoy the mansion before this fairy tale comes to an ugly end.
“What are you doing out here?” a familiar voice asks.
I look back over my shoulder and find Spencer slowly making his way toward me. Things between us have been better since that night sitting around the fire and when he had helped to save me from a mob of horny teenagers. I think at some point, I might have even earned his respect.
Tough Sh*t: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 1) Page 31