“It was the flip flops that did it for me,” I gesture to his face much in the same way he did, “I guess I can deal with that, but I’m really all about the toes.”
He laughs at my silly comment; it helps to lighten the seriousness of the conversation. His shoulders ease for the first time since he entered my studio.
Beau sends me a killer smile, "Sammy, you are so beautiful, inside and out. You make me feel real, instead of someone’s fantasy.” He shakes his head, “You are sweet and a little mouthy. I don't want to lose what this could be. Please say I haven't." He takes a few steps closer, moving past the island. He stops before he can crowd me into the limited space. Every word softens my resolve. This is why I shouldn’t have let him up.
"Beau,” my voice breaks. “You’re getting married," I shake my head sadly. I will not allow myself to cry, but it’s a struggle. "I can't be around you. I have feelings for you, like real feelings, and that wouldn't be right. I will never settle for second place.” He gives a quick shake of his head in denial, but I push on. “I'd rather be alone. I can understand not telling me about being an actor or being famous, but not telling me your getting married. Especially before we—" I can’t finish saying it. I sigh, “It's not fair to any of us.”
I throw both of my hands in the air feeling every bit of the same frustration I felt earlier. Nothing is resolved by talking to him.
“Sammy I’d never be with you while being engaged,” He interjects.
My eyes go round. I’m in utter disbelief. “Then what are you doing right now? Where is she in all this?"
I sniffle and turn to check on the oven. From the corner of my eye, I see him step closer.
"I’m not with her Sammy, she’s been gone a long while. I only proposed because she told me she was pregnant.”
I gasp, my fingers cover my mouth, “What? You’re going to have a child together?” I whisper in shock.
His hand reaches forward, and he circles my wrist, “No Samantha, she wasn't pregnant. It was something she and our agent cooked up to try and control me.” Beau mutters softly pulling me to him.
“Oh no, that’s… that’s terrible. Who would even think to do that?”
“A week later, I found her in bed with her costar.” He looks over to the windows, still holding me. “I broke it off immediately,” He looks down at me, “She freaked out. Made all kinds of promises, that it would never happen again. She said I wasn’t giving her enough attention. Essentially blaming me. When that didn’t work, she offered an open relationship, if I’d keep up the public image of us being together.”
Our hands weave together, and I use our connection to pull him over to the sofa, “Here let’s sit.” He drops down without much grace and gives me a small, appreciative smile. It lasts only a breath of a moment, but I sense the gratitude. “That’s enough for now Beau, we don’t have to do this.”
“No, let me get this out. I owe you this much. It’s just, I haven’t really talked about it so it’s… it’s kind of fucked up when I put it all together.” Both of his hands are holding mine over his thigh. His fingers trace over my fingernails and down to my wrist. It seems more of an unconscious movement than anything else. He’s looking out the windows again, not focusing on anything in sight. The silence lasts long enough that I think he might be done talking when he finally begins again.
“That’s when it got really ugly.” His voice is gravely, “She trashed my house and tried to get me fired from projects.” His lips thin to a hard line, I see the muscle work in his jaw. With narrowed eyes he continues, “The things she told people I did”—he shakes his head— “Things I’d never do in a million years. She started threatening to hurt herself and tell people it was me abusing her.”
He looks down at me with honest open eyes, “I swear to god Samantha, I never laid a hand on her.” I rub our already joined hands against my cheek and give him a gentle squeeze, as his rough skin grazes against me.
“She was trying to control me. I don't even know why, she didn't love me. I don't think she's even capable." He stands, releasing my hands and begins pacing. "I don't know how any of it was kept out of the media.”
He laughs bitterly, “She has a really good agent.” His steps slow and faces the door, his hands go to his hips and he slides them into the front pockets of his jeans. His shoulders hunch and his head lowers a bit, “I told her I was done, done with her, with acting, with the business altogether. She really panicked then.”
“Beau,” his head turns to me, eyes seeking mine.
“She’s the one that hurt Ella.”
My brows furrow. Ella, who’s Ella? I see the sadness in his eyes and make the connection.
“Your dog, Ella.” I’m horrified at the implication. I stand, unable to stop myself from going to him.
“I had no idea she was capable of something like that,” His forehead drops to mine, and I wedge my hands between his body and arms wrapping them around him.
I hug him close.
It’s awkward at first. His hands still buried deep in his pockets, but when my cheek nuzzles his chest he pulls them out and returns the embrace. Moments pass in silence, his breathing deep and even. I pull my head back enough to look up at his beautiful face. Once that was all I had seen, a handsome man with a mysterious side. Now I see the weariness in his eyes, the yearning for acceptance and the shield he puts up to keep people away. Beau reaches out, his palm cupping my cheek. He wraps his other hand behind my neck and pulls me close to his chest.
“Everyone thinks it’s so amazing being famous. That it’s all one big party and everyone loves you.” He holds me tight to him, “Nobody talks about how you can't have one private moment, no one warns you about the fans that will rip your hair out just to have a piece of you or spit in your face because you didn't sign an autograph while out to dinner with your parents.”
Beau’s soft voice rumbles in my ear as he continues, “Nothing about it is authentic, nothing. I just can’t do it anymore.”
“I’m sorry Beau, sorry about Ella.”
His hands sweep over my back, and I feel him take a deep breath.
I'm still scared. I'm also feeling a little insecure. I know it’s stupid after everything he just said.
"I wish you would have told me sooner. I wish I didn't have to hear it from Anna, especially in a room full of people at work. That was really hurtful and embarrassing, Beau." He still has me pinned to his chest, making it easier to tell him how I feel. “You didn’t say anything or try to explain, and then you were gone.”
"I know Sweets. It was a dick move. I wanted to tell her to shut her face, but everyone was watching. I was worried I'd lost you before I even really had you, and you called her away to your office. I felt dismissed. I just left, and it was a mistake."
"Is there anything else I should know? I mean you don't have to tell me everything, but I'd rather not have a surprise like that again."
Beau squeezes me tighter, "No Sammy. I think that's it." I sigh into his embrace as he kisses the top of my head and asks, "Can I kiss you Sammy?" His voice is low, and I feel it resound up his chest.
I lift my face as a way of invitation.
His mouth is warm and soft as he explores mine. He steps forward and my back hits the counter, allowing him to apply more pressure between our bodies.
Beau's hands move under my butt. He lifts me up and sits me on the island with my legs wrapped around his narrow hips. The height is perfect, I feel his growing erection pushing into me through my thin pants.
His hands run over my body from neck to my ass. There's a brief knock on the door followed by it opening immediately. I scramble to get down, but Beau keeps me pressed against him. My back is to the door, I can't see who it is.
I hear a deep chuckle and I cringe, "You sure work fast Beau." My mouth pops open. I push Beau back and drop down. My body slides down the length of his as my feet touch the ground.
"What can I say? It was a good explanation." I sass to cover my embar
rassment walking to the oven to check on dinner.
Still laughing, Brian says, "Oh god she's a keeper. Beautiful, smart, and by the way, my mouth is watering. She can cook like a pro. If you aren't smart enough to hold on to her, please Sam, give me a chance."
Beau's laughter dies quickly, "Hey! That shits not funny, you bastard."
"Wasn't trying to be."
When I turn around Brian winks at me. I know he's just giving Beau a hard time, but it's still flattering to be called beautiful.
"Alright boys," I put emphasis on the word, "This should be ready in a bit. Who's hungry?" It's a race between them to answer as they both reply quickly.
Another knock on the door sounds, but this time they wait to be allowed entrance. The security guys are ready to install the interior cameras. They cart in a few ladders and get to work.
“Can I get you guys anything to drink, water, soda?”
The taller of the two men glances up from a small bag on the floor that he’s digging through, “A water would actually be great. Jon?” He looks over to his coworker.
“If you don’t mind. Thank you.” Jon replies.
I smile and make quick work of grabbing a couple bottled waters.
“Here you go. Let me know if there’s anything you need.” The cameras are so small and inconspicuous I'd never even notice them if I didn't know they where they plan to put them. The men cast a few looks in Beau’s direction shortly after entering, but both keep working without question.
I can tell by the way Beau and Brian chat, ribbing each other, that they must be close friends.
I ignore most of what's said until I hear Brian say, "I told you she was crazy. When you gonna learn to listen to Big Brian? He knows what’s up." He pats his chest in self-congratulation.
"Man, I was so stupid. Marty just kept putting us together, and then the producers encouraged a relationship, said it would be great for movie ticket sales. When Marty told me she was pregnant I freaked, but then I knew no matter what, I would take care of my kid, you know?"
They talk so freely, it's like they don't even realize me and two other people are in the room.
"Thank fuck it was just a scam, because she knew I'd want to make that shit right." Beau shakes his head and looks like he dodged a bullet, "I was so fucking relieved when I found her fuckin Seth, man. Crazy, right? I just catch my fiancé fuckin a coworker and friend, and I was relieved that I wouldn't have to marry her. That shit right there told me it was a mistake."
I feel the need to say something before they say anything else that these guys can decide is worth selling for a story to some gossip rag.
"Beau you wanna take a look at this please?" I interrupt, only I don't have anything to show him. I just wanted him to come over, so I can remind him he's not alone. You'd think someone as famous as him would remember to watch his mouth around people. He was just telling me about not having privacy.
"What ya got?" He asks as nears me. I lean up on my toes and whisper in his ear
"Those guys are listening to you Beau, you need to be careful about what you say." His arm goes around my waist, and he pushes his ear closer, my lips graze his ear lobe.
He whispers back, "They can't say anything Sweets, they'd lose their jobs." He raises his voice as he speaks. He finishes in a while against my neck, "but even if they do, I don't care." He gives me a few kisses, before pulling back and adding loudly, "But if they did or gave your address out for example, they'd have a lot more than a lawsuit to worry about." He kisses my temple and goes back to the table with Brian. I guess that solves that.
I feel weird having dinner with the guys still working, but there's no way I'm letting all this work get cold. I don't think I have enough to feed four men, I know Beau can eat a ton and by the looks of it, Brain could definitely tuck in too. Shit this is awkward. I guess I'll let Beau and Brian eat and if there's anything left offer it to the others.
I serve myself a normal portion and plate up two larger portions "You guys want to eat this, come and get it." I'm not delivering it to the table; I'm not a waitress.
Beau is there first, eyeing the plates to see if one has more I'm sure. He snatches the one he wants and looks at Brian like he just won a prize. I roll my eyes at how ridiculous he is.
Unfortunately, there's not enough left to offer to the men. With Beau and Brain leaning back into their seat, sighing with full bellies.
I ask quietly, "Should I offer them a sandwich or something, since you guys ate it all? They've been here for hours."
Beau frowns, "No, would you have offered it if we weren't here?"
"I probably wouldn't have made this if I wasn't trying to keep busy, but yes I'd have offered whatever I made. It would be rude not to."
"Well good thing I was here to eat it all, because they'd never want to leave if they'd tasted that, but no Sweets, it's not rude. You offered them a drink, that was nice of you." He keeps his voice down, so the others won't hear him. I look at Brian, wondering if it would have been weird if I had. Would they have felt obligated to eat it even if they didn't want it?
"Oh my god, I'm like the crazy cat lady with no cats," I laugh at myself.
"That's not what he means Samantha, he’s saying they would probably make more of it than you intend, like think you were hitting on them," Brian says while smiling at my offended face.
"No they would not." I scoff. "That is just crazy. I feed people all the time." I wave my hand around dismissively, "You're making that up to make me feel funny." I point at him and scowl.
"Holy shit that's priceless, she has no clue."
Now, I'm embarrassed. What the hell does he mean I have no clue?
"I'll have you know, I haven't hit on or been hit on in like---ever. I'm pretty sure I'd know." I add indignantly.
"What about that first night I met you at the market? Was I hitting on you then?" Beau asks, seeming curious now.
I shake my head, "No, you were making fun of me, mocking me."
His eyes get wide, "No I wasn't. I was trying to start a conversation with you.” He states, “I was flirting with you."
"This is just ridiculous. I'm done playing with you two. You can rinse the dishes, bunch of jackasses!"
Chapter 14
"I think we just got in trouble,” Beau stage whispers, “and it was hot." I turn to glare at him.
Brian nods his head slowly and answers, "Yup."
Beau picks up both of our dishes, "Is it wrong to ask you and those guys to leave, so I can do something about it?"
Brian shakes his head just as slowly as before, "Not gonna happen."
"I had to at least try," Beau jokes.
The security guys finish around eight. Before they leave I'm given a complete rundown of how the new cameras will integrate with my existing security system. I'll be able to view any of the cameras at anytime with a secure site from any three devices. At Brian’s request, I also have a small screen near the intercom to scan the cameras outside.
Brian leaves not long after. We spend a little time going over some of the information I'd already given Beau, regarding my stepdad, Darryl. Brian promises to dig a little deeper into Darryl’s past and get back to me with any new information by tomorrow.
Beau and I haven't discussed it, but it seems like he's staying over. It is exciting and a little scary because other than our nap, I've never slept with anyone.
I can barely keep my eyes open, so I finally just ask what his plans are.
"Not to be lame, but I'm whooped. Brian mentioned you might be staying here, or should I call you a cab?"
"No, I'm staying. If that's okay with you."
"Okay, yeah that's fine. Do you need anything from home or---" I don't want to ask if he needs something to sleep in. It sounds too motherly and weird, right? But what about a toothbrush? I mean he could use mine, or I might have an extra. It'll probably be pink, but something's better than nothing right? "I think I have an extra toothbrush," I offer suddenly, before he responds. I stand up
to go get it.
"That'd be good. I didn't bring anything. I didn't want to jinx my chances." He grins as he follows me to the bathroom.
I don't know how, but he makes every room shrink to half its previous size. My somewhat large bathroom feels tiny with him in it. I check through a small cabinet and find an extra brush that's purple, but it promises to whiten, so it'll have to do.
"Toothpaste is here,” I slide a drawer open, showing him. “Towels are here,” I gesture to the linen closet, “if you need one, and I think that's it. I'll just give you a few minutes." I back out of the room and close the door.
I smack myself as I walk toward my bed. The toothpaste is in the same drawer as my birth control, so he'll probably see the refill box. Along with panty liners and every other feminine hygiene product I own.
Beau walks out of the bathroom in a pair of tight gray boxer briefs. I was wondering if he always went commando. I think I'm disappointed, but then again, he looks mighty fine in those shorts.
"Sammy," I look up at Beau's grinning face.
Knowing I've been caught I shrug, "I'd say sorry, but it'd be a lie." He throws his head back and laughs.
I dash to the bathroom and take care of my night-time rituals. I nearly smack myself again, when I realize I have nothing, but a few dirty clothes in my laundry basket. I guess I will join him sporting only underwear to bed. I keep my t-shirt and panties on. I lose the bra though. No way can I sleep in underwire. I pull the shirt down while looking in the mirror. It covers my front well enough, but my bottom is another story.
Good lord, he's already seen everything anyway. I give myself a little pep talk, just get out there before he sends in reinforcements. What if he wants to have sex? Do I want to? Should I shower? I didn't shower before he went down on me, and he was like right there soooo. I think I'm okay?
Beautiful Deceit Page 14