“Did you know Melodie is like you?” Yvonne asked, suddenly interrupting Ana’s thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
Thomas was now asleep, his head heavy on Yvonne’s shoulder, and she put him in the bassinet before she answered. “She’s a lesbian.”
Ana was shocked at the revelation, but even more at the fluttering it caused in her stomach. “Really? But what about Kevin?”
“Oh, don’t get me started on that. I would say it was a big mistake, but it gave us our little Thomas so I guess the best I can say is that it was a good mistake.”
“But then how can you be so sure she’s a lesbian? I’d say she’s at least bisexual, because a mistake like Kevin would never even be a possibility for me.”
“Fine, call it what you want. All I know is that the only time I’ve seen my granddaughter truly in love was with a woman.”
“Oh,” was all Ana could answer. She didn’t know how to react to that piece of information. She didn’t like that it affected her at all, and she didn’t understand why it did. Yvonne massaged her hand and it gave her the perfect excuse to change the subject. “How did it go at the doctor’s?”
“I’ll probably need surgery. The meds can’t completely control my tremors anymore. That said, the surgery is not guaranteed to succeed either.” She pinched her lips together and closed her eyes. Ana had never seen her so disheartened.
“But it might help, right?”
“Yes, it might.”
“Hope is always good,” she said as she offered a compassionate smile. Yvonne returned her smile and squeezed her hand.
“Yes, always. And speaking of hope, I think Melodie liked the land up the hill.” She winked and Ana chuckled. At least she remained hopeful about something.
Melodie came back to the lobby wearing jeans and a relaxed floral-print, shirred blouse that seemed too light for the season and definitely showed too much cleavage. Ana actively avoided staring at the smooth uncovered flesh, a task that required focus and dedication. “Oh, he’s sleeping,” she noted as she glanced at the bassinet. “Would you mind covering the reception desk while I go get a load of laundry started?” she asked Yvonne.
“I don’t mind but I can take care of the laundry, dear. I thought you and Ana had something to talk about.”
Ana took the hint and continued, “That’s right. We were going to discuss that article you gave me.”
“Oh, right. Could we postpone that? I have a bit of a headache right now.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Thank you. And thank you for taking care of Thomas today.”
“It truly was my pleasure.” Ana barely had time to finish her sentence before Melodie disappeared, as if she couldn’t get away from her fast enough.
Chapter Thirteen
Melodie was grateful the Tremblays had left the day before, and Ana only wanted the Greek yogurt with fruit and granola again. A reasonable breakfast for a reasonable woman. She carefully shook her head. Yesterday she would have described Ana as a control freak. Now she was reasonable. She was glad for the simple breakfast request because she’d barely slept, and her morning walk had failed to energize her the way she’d hoped. The headache she’d faked to avoid her talk with Ana had become reality. Karma, she figured. She popped two Tylenols and massaged her forehead, starting with the space between her eyebrows and slowly going up to her hairline. Her grandmother joined her in the kitchen after serving their only guest. “What’s wrong? Did Thomas keep you awake?”
“Yeah, kind of.” She didn’t want to admit what had really kept her awake were thoughts of Ana mixed with memories of Aurelie. She hadn’t thought of Aurelie in months, and she didn’t understand why she was coming back to haunt her nights now. She’d lost enough because of that woman already. She’d lost a good job as office manager for an established local manufacturer of kitchen cabinets, but that wasn’t even the worst of it. She’d also lost her mind, her dignity, and her heart. She certainly didn’t need to lose more sleep over her. Why did her brain get Ana and Aurelie mixed together? Was it some kind of warning?
“Are you going to have that talk with Ana today? It should be pretty quiet around here.”
“If I feel better, yes.”
Yvonne made a fresh pot of coffee and the noise of the coffee grinder soon became unbearable. Melodie thought she was going to vomit. “You know that gaydar thing you’ve told me about before?”
Melodie opened her eyes to see her grandmother’s mischievous grin. She vaguely remembered explaining the expression years go. “Mhm,” she simply offered, grateful the coffee grinder had finally stopped its din.
“Well has your gaydar been detecting anything for the past few days?”
“Mammie, I might have fun playing your game if my head wasn’t about to explode, but since I’m totally miserable, could you please tell me what you’re trying to say?” The sudden pounding in her chest told her she already knew, but she needed her grandmother to confirm it at once.
“Ana is a lesbian,” she whispered with exaggerated articulation.
It made complete sense, and in other circumstances she might have been happy to hear the news, but all she could think of now was that it made Ana even more dangerous. It explained her reaction to seeing her with Thomas yesterday. It even justified it, perhaps, but it made the warmth that had travelled through her body even more threatening. Because having an affair with the enigmatic scientist was now within the realm of possibilities, and she had to remain strong to keep it from happening. They were two diametrical opposites. It would never work. More importantly, Ana was not in Sainte-Luce-Sur-Mer to stay. She’d be gone as soon as her damn research was done. She’d tasted temporary with Aurelie. She didn’t want a second bite. Her brain was definitely trying to warn her, and she would listen for once.
“Well, what is it? Did you know or were you as clueless as I was?”
“Clueless,” she answered, although it was not entirely true. Her body had figured it out the day before.
“I knew it. So are you going to be nicer to her now?”
“Why? I should be nice to her because she’s gay? That doesn’t change the fact that she’s here to cause trouble, Mammie.”
“She’s not here to cause any kind of trouble,” Yvonne retorted before she sighed with frustration. “You can be so stubborn sometimes.” She grabbed the pot of coffee and left the kitchen. Melodie resumed massaging her forehead, repeating to herself that Ana was indeed nothing but trouble.
* * *
Ana picked up the ball Miller had brought back and threw it again. Although it had only been a few days, it felt like they’d walked together for years. They were used to each other’s rhythm and their game of fetch had become a well choreographed, pleasant activity. Ana had also become astute to Yvonne’s subtle changes of pace and easily adapted to them. These morning walks were quickly becoming her favorite part of the day, although she also wished she could spend time with Thomas again after their afternoon of bonding. And she had to admit being in the same room with Melodie was getting more tolerable. She still feared she could lash out for no apparent reason, but she’d become more than a ticking bomb.
Behind her attitude hid a woman Ana was surprised to realize she wanted to know better. The woman who’d generously helped her grandmother manage the inn for years and who was such an attentive mother to Thomas. The woman whose rare, genuine smiles induced inexplicable physical reactions in her. The woman whose beauty was more difficult to ignore.
“So you have your first interview today?”
“Yes, this afternoon. Professor Hubert from the university. He specializes in geomorphology and he was my first contact here actually. I saw him speak at a conference in New York and that’s how I first heard of this place. We’ve exchanged emails since then, but I can’t wait to have a more in-depth conversation with him.”
“Why here? There are so many places, much larger and better known cities in your own country that face similar challe
nges.”
“That’s a question I’ve had to answer many times already,” she said with a chuckle.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer…”
“Oh no, don’t worry,” Ana quickly interrupted to reassure Yvonne. “I get asked often because it’s a good question. My official answer is that there are plenty of people working on those big American cities already. The retreat strategy I favor is not something they want to hear. Millions of people live by the ocean and are at risk, not to mention businesses and the entire stock market in Manhattan. Leaving is a daunting option. I understand that. But when I heard Professor Hubert say that it was a strategy that was seriously discussed here, I immediately wanted to be part of these discussions. I’m convinced everyone needs to move away from the rising seas, and I want to work with people who have the same beliefs. So there. That’s the long, official answer.”
“It’s a good one. But I’m curious about the unofficial answer now?” Yvonne glanced at her and offered one of the mischievous grins she was quickly growing fond of.
“I’ve never told anyone about the unofficial answer.” She hesitated, but realized Yvonne was the perfect person to confide in. “Professor Hubert included videos and pictures of Sainte-Luce-Sur-Mer in his presentation, and something happened in me. It was like a deep attraction I couldn’t ignore. I had to come here. I can’t explain it with scientific facts or logical reasoning. I just had to come.”
“That’s the best reason to do anything, if you ask me. Your guts know more than your brain. I know that’s hard to believe for a scientist like you, but try to remember that.”
Ana nodded and Yvonne took her arm. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Ana broke their contact to give Miller some water and throw the ball again. She’d been dying to ask Yvonne about the woman Melodie had been in love with, but she didn’t know how to bring it up. It was personal, and it wasn’t her business, yet she was curious. Yvonne would tell her to take the plunge, wouldn’t she? “How did you react when you found out Melodie was in love with a woman?”
If Yvonne was surprised by the question she didn’t let it show. “I’d never seen her so happy, so I could only be happy for her in return.”
“That’s great. I’m sure she appreciated your support.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t always so enthusiastic about Melodie’s preference for girls. When she started dating girls after high school, I thought it was a phase. I thought she simply didn’t know what she wanted. But it stuck. And then all I wanted was for her to find true love, to settle down with someone.”
“And she did?”
“Yes. Well, she thought she did, and so did I. She met Aurelie at work. She had a really good job for a local manufacturer. She fell in love with her and I still think Aurelie loved her back. But after ten months of blissful happiness, Aurelie’s husband returned from a military operation in Ukraine and Melodie was left with a broken heart.”
Ana heard herself gasp in shock. “Oh my god. Did she know Aurelie was married?”
Yvonne shook her head. “She never mentioned it. They spent most of their time together at Melodie’s apartment, but she never questioned it since her place was closer to work. It made sense.”
Ana’s throat tightened. “That’s terrible.”
“It is. And then she had to quit her job. Aurelie was the owner’s niece so she wasn’t going anywhere, and Melodie couldn’t keep seeing her every day.”
“I can imagine.” Ana felt deep compassion for Melodie as she tried to envision the pain Aurelie’s betrayal might have caused. And a new admiration for her strength. “When did that happen?”
“About two years ago. A couple of months before she hooked up with Kevin. Not a coincidence, if you ask me. Kevin was her high school sweetheart and probably gave her some weird sense of security. Not that she would admit to that, of course.”
“What a sad story.”
“Oh yes. Thank god we got Thomas out of that mess. I think he saved her in some way. But I still want nothing more than for my granddaughter to find love. Like I found my Raymond. Everyone should have that. And that includes you, dear.”
“To be honest, love is not really something I think about. My job takes too much of my time, for one thing, but relationships are also scary. As much as we try, we can never adequately calculate the risks and I’m not a gambler.”
Yvonne snorted a laugh. “Nice try. Spoken like a true scientist. But don’t forget I know better now. You know how to listen to your gut when it matters. You’re here, aren’t you? Someday the same pull you felt to this place will push you toward a woman. You’ll see. I only hope you find the courage to listen to that gut feeling the same way you listened to the one that brought you here.”
Ana threw the ball a little farther than she’d intended. She was disturbed by Yvonne’s words. This place, that woman, everything suddenly seemed strangely linked together and she had to force those silly thoughts out of her mind. They started to sound like something close to fate and she didn’t believe in fate. She hadn’t been led here by some mysterious force. She was here for science. She had a job to do. “Do you mind if we cut our walk a little short today? I need to get ready for my meeting.”
Chapter Fourteen
Ana came back from her meeting in the late afternoon. She’d learned so much. She could have listened to Professor Hubert talk for a few more hours but she’d respected the time he’d allotted her. He’d already been so generous. They’d discussed climate change and rising seas, of course, but also other ways men had contributed to shoreline erosion in the area. He’d explained that in the past, people had collected sand from the beach for construction or other purposes in such large quantities that they reduced the beach’s natural capacity to absorb waves. He’d also mentioned people’s obsession with building by the water, weakening the beach. In other words, people were destroying the natural layer of protection that was between them and the sea. People who denied climate change often claimed erosion was a natural phenomenon man couldn’t control, and it was true. Part of erosion was natural, but man had severely accelerated that natural process with their behaviors. And in both directions. Not only had they developed a dependency on fossil fuels that caused climate change and sea levels to rise, but they’d also managed to weaken the shoreline that was there to protect them. Double whammy. Way to go, people.
She climbed the stairs to the front door of the White Sheep Inn with the intention to run to her room and turn on her laptop so she could type up the ideas that twirled through her mind. She quickly understood as she opened the door, however, that her ideas would have to remain locked inside her brain a little while longer.
Melodie was holding the phone to one ear as she plugged in the other with her finger and Thomas was screaming to the top of his lungs from his bassinet. Ana saw the distress on Melodie’s face and knew she had to help. She quickly took off her boots and let her backpack fall to the ground before she ran to the bassinet and took him in her arms. She hurried to the kitchen where his screams wouldn’t disturb Melodie. She was ready to look for a bottle to feed him when he calmed down, apparently satisfied simply being held. She looked at him and when he smiled she relaxed. She used her thumb to dry the tears on his round cheeks and he stared at her with these big blue eyes. “You missed me, huh?” He giggled as if to answer, and she realized she’d definitely missed him.
She put him down on the counter just long enough to take off her winter jacket and hold him more comfortably. With a happy baby in her arms, she took her jacket to hang it on the stairway’s balusters to make sure she wouldn’t forget it downstairs and winked at Melodie, who was still on the phone, standing behind the reception desk. Melodie smiled her gratitude, and Ana felt a familiar fluttering in her stomach. She wanted to hate the sensation and reject it, but she stood defenceless, holding a boy she was unexplainably getting attached to and unable to look away from a woman who terrified and captivated her at the same time.
&nb
sp; “Great, we’ll have your room ready on December thirty-first, Mr. Smith. Have a lovely day.” Melodie hung up the phone and kept observing the interaction between Ana and Thomas. She was sitting at her usual table in the dining room with Thomas in her arms, their gazes locked on one another.
The tenderness she saw in the woman she’d qualified as rigid a couple of days earlier moved her the same way it had the first time she’d seen her cradle Thomas. Perhaps it was because she’d never seen him so peaceful in anyone’s arms besides her grandmother’s or her own when she wasn’t an anxious mess. It was as if he recognized something in Ana. Her strength, probably. No, her calm. Or her assurance. Qualities she lacked and admired in Ana. But she couldn’t admire her, she reminded herself. It was too dangerous. So as much as she hated breaking the magic, she did. “Thank you so much. You saved me,” she declared as she stepped around the reception desk and walked to the dining room.
Ana turned to her and smiled. “It wasn’t a problem at all. I like spending time with this little guy.”
Melodie got close enough to notice the sincere affection in Ana’s green eyes. Like her smile, they communicated warmth and endearment, and although the sentiment was addressed to her son, Melodie was deeply touched by it. “Well, I appreciate your help anyway. That man called to make a reservation, but he kept asking questions about the area, the weather, what there was to do in the winter. It was the longest call ever. Do I look like a tour guide to you?”
Ana laughed a low, breathy laughter that broke another piece of that so-called rigidity Melodie had seen in her. She smiled, torn between two opposite needs. On one hand, she wished for Ana’s stern character to come back at last so she could feel safe again, but on the other hand, she simply wanted to make her laugh longer. “Where is Yvonne?” Ana asked, breaking the spell.
Rising Above Page 7