“He’s knocked out. He has so much fun playing with his grandfather.”
“I know, but I should wake him up. I can’t put him to bed before I feed him.”
“Oh no, he looks so comfortable. Let him sleep for a little while. He’ll get hungry soon enough and he’ll wake up on his own.”
“Don’t you want to go to bed?”
“It’s not even seven thirty yet. Come on, stay with me. Let me hold him a little longer.”
“Sure, I just thought you were exhausted after a day working outside. You go to bed early every night.”
“I go to my room early every night. That’s different. When you all get ready for bed I go upstairs, but I don’t go to sleep right away. I read or I work on my article until ten or eleven.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Melodie chuckled. “What’s so funny?”
“I was sure you were going to sleep right away or I would have stayed up. I don’t go to sleep this early either. I read, plan my menu for the week, surf the net, keep myself busy until I feel sleepy.”
“So you don’t mind keeping me company then?”
“No,” Melodie said sincerely.
She didn’t mind it at all. She was delighted to find herself alone with Ana again. It hadn’t happened since the storm, although the connection they’d made that night was still there. She’d noticed it every time they exchanged understanding glances, in the way they did dishes together after dinner, or in the occasional encouraging pat on the back or soothing squeeze of a hand. What would happen if they spent more time alone now? Melodie was almost as scared as she was excited to find out. “Mammie told me what you did at the appliance store,” she whispered, still moved by Ana’s generosity.
“Please don’t give me a hard time about it. I already had that fight with Yvonne and I won,” Ana said playfully.
“I don’t want to give you a hard time. I want to thank you. That was very kind of you,” she explained as she placed a hand on Ana’s knee. And there was the danger. She’d gotten physically close to Ana the night of the storm because she was scared. She hadn’t thought twice about holding on to her that night or letting her hold her. It had seemed natural then. It shouldn’t feel so natural now that they were safe. She had no reason to keep touching her every chance she got, yet she couldn’t help it. And although Ana rarely initiated physical contact, she never rejected it. She seemed to welcome it and even encouraged it, like she did now when she covered her hand with her own.
“I’m glad I could help.” Her green eyes showed sincerity and Melodie was drawn to them until she focused her attention on something else over Melodie’s shoulder and the spell was broken. “I’ve been curious ever since I got here. Does anyone ever play that piano?”
Melodie scoffed. “No. It was my great-grandmother’s. She was pretty good from what I heard but none of us play. Mammie gets it tuned every year and that’s the only time we hear it.”
“That’s a shame. Do you mind if I try it?”
“You play?”
“I used to. I haven’t played in years but this piano has been calling me ever since I saw it.”
“Well what are you waiting for? Go.”
She took Thomas from Ana’s arms and put him in the bassinet as Ana sat on the piano bench and pushed the fallboard open to reveal the black and white keys. She started with a few scales and Melodie stood behind her, watching her long fingers travel easily along the keyboard.
“Here, sit with me. I’ll try something you probably know.”
Melodie sat on one end of the bench and Ana started playing. The music did sound familiar, but Melodie couldn’t identify it. It was light and sad at the same time, and it moved her. She knew very little about classical music, but she enjoyed Ana’s delicate touch on the keyboard and the fact that her fingers were bringing back her great-grandmother’s piano to life after so many years of silence.
Ana stopped when she hit the wrong key. “That was beautiful. What is it? You’re right, I’ve heard it before but I really don’t know what it is.”
“That happens a lot with classical music. We hear it in movies and we think it’s beautiful, but we don’t really know what we’re listening to. This piece is Pachelbel’s Canon in D.”
“I see. I’ll remember it now. I promise. Play it again.”
She did and she got further into the piece until she clearly missed a note and grunted in frustration. “I need practice.”
“Well, I certainly won’t complain if you practice on this piano every day.”
“You won’t?”
Melodie shook her head, suddenly dreading the day Ana would leave and the piano would fall silent again. “For as long as you stay here, of course.”
“Right.”
Ana swallowed and Melodie thought that perhaps she dreaded her departure as much as Melodie did. Perhaps she’d rather stay right here on this piano bench, their thighs pressed together and their faces inches apart. Perhaps she was dying to kiss her too, she imagined as she leaned in and brushed their lips together.
Ana gasped in surprise and Melodie froze for a moment, wondering if she’d misunderstood, until Ana pushed her mouth more firmly against hers and let out a heavy sigh of relief mixed with desire. She plunged her hands in the thick auburn hair at the back of her head and pulled Ana closer to her as she opened her mouth to taste her lips, desperate to deepen the kiss. Ana grunted again, but this grunt expressed hunger rather than frustration, or maybe both as they couldn’t seem to find satisfaction in this kiss. Their tongues greedily explored each other’s mouth, their breathing ragged; their hands crushing their bodies together. They clearly wanted more, starved for each other. As much as they wanted it to, this kiss couldn’t channel all of the energy that had built between them since the storm.
Thomas cried and Melodie tore herself from Ana’s mouth. They stared at each other, breathing heavily, until he cried louder. “Fuck,” she finally said as she caught her breath. Ana laughed and brought a hand to Melodie’s reddened lips. “I better go feed him.”
Ana nodded. “Get him. I’ll go get the bottle ready.” She kissed her softly before she stood and disappeared into the kitchen. Melodie went to the bassinet and took an angry Thomas in her arms, comforting him the best she could until Ana came back with a warm bottle. Ana played the piano as she fed him in the rocking chair, and since he wouldn’t go right back to sleep, she regretfully accepted that whatever had happened between her and Ana would have to wait until the next time they were alone.
“I’ll take him to our room and play with him quietly for a few minutes before I read him a story. It’s our thing, you know,” she explained apologetically.
“I get it, don’t worry. Good night.”
“Good night.”
Ana kissed Thomas’s forehead before she kissed Melodie’s lips again. The kiss was sweet, tender, and utterly frustrating. Melodie heard the piano for another half hour while she played with Thomas, and then the inn fell silent. She put him in his crib and lay down in her own bed, replaying the evening in her mind. Maybe it was a good thing they’d been interrupted before they went further than that ravenous, crazy hot kiss they’d shared. Ana wasn’t here to stay and kissing her or having sex with her was nothing but a sure way to end up with a broken heart. Then again, wasn’t it already too late to avoid that heartbreak? Maybe she was better off going all in. At least she wouldn’t wonder once Ana was gone. She’d know exactly why she hurt so damn much.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Are you sure you’ll be okay? You don’t have all of your family with you to help this time,” Melodie asked Kevin once more as he secured Thomas in his car seat. She watched to make sure he did it well, but she resisted the urge to double-check. He straightened up to face her but left the car door open.
“My mother will be there, Mel. Come on, don’t give me a hard time. I’m leaving next week and I want to spend some one-on-one time with my son before I do. You get it, don’t you?”
“I do. Sorry. I can’t help it. I know he’ll be fine. You’ll take good care of him.”
“There. Did that hurt?”
He grinned as she brought her index and thumb an inch apart. “Only that much.” He laughed and shook his head. “No, really, you’re getting to be a pretty good dad. And you did an amazing job on the inn.”
“It was fun working with your dad and Ana. We made a good team. If you paint the porch while I’m around this summer I’ll be happy to help again.”
“Thanks, Kev.” She kissed him on the cheek before she kissed Thomas on the forehead and closed the car door. “Now go, before I change my mind and keep him with me.”
“Right. I’m out of here. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
She stayed outside until the SUV backed out onto the street and left with her son. When she went back inside she saw Ana and her grandmother chatting in front of the piano. Yvonne had been so excited to find out Ana could play the piano that she’d begged her to use her talent every chance she got.
In the two weeks since they’d shared their first kiss, Ana and Melodie had had very little time alone. Her father and Kevin had worked hard to finish the repairs outside the inn before Kevin had to go back to Calgary. They’d worked through the holidays and Yvonne had stayed late to have dinner with them and celebrate as much as they could. No presents had been allowed for Christmas, money being tight for everyone, except perhaps for Ana. She’d been wise not to buy presents anyway. Yvonne still felt uncomfortable accepting the washer and dryer Ana had helped to purchase. Another present would have been too much for her to bear.
Her father made his appearance in the lobby. He wore his old brown leather jacket lined with black fleece, the trapper hat he’d had since Melodie was a teenager, and his working boots. “I’m ready.”
“All right, let’s go,” Ana said as she stood from the piano bench and hurried to get dressed in her winter gear. Melodie’s dad had planned a night out with his old drinking buddies. She didn’t like it but she knew she couldn’t keep him locked inside for the rest of his life. He hadn’t left the inn in three weeks. He deserved a night out, as decadent and unhealthy as it might be. He’d promised to call when he was ready to come back home, but Melodie didn’t expect to hear back from him until the next day. If she heard from him at all. “I’ll be right back,” Ana added for Melodie before she closed the door behind them. Ana had generously volunteered to drive him to town, and as Melodie watched them leave in a hurry, she was grateful her grandmother had stayed after dinner. She wasn’t ready to be completely alone, not even for the half hour it would take Ana to drive her father to the bar and come back.
“Can you believe this old piano is useful again?” she heard her grandmother ask behind her, making her realize she was still staring at the door.
“She plays beautifully, doesn’t she?”
“Oh yes. Will you come and sit with me while I finish my tea?”
Melodie followed her grandmother to the table closest to the piano, one she couldn’t remember using before. She sat across from her grandmother and took the Petit Beurre shortbread cookie she offered. It was exactly what she needed: to bite into the comforting taste of her childhood as she watched her grandmother sip on her tea.
“I’m so glad you and Ana get along now. It looks like you’ve grown very close, actually.” A playful sparkle lit her eyes and Melodie felt her cheeks heat up.
“We’re good friends, yes.” She’d thought they’d been discreet enough, but of course they hadn’t fooled her. Yvonne noticed everything. It was infuriating.
“Friends, huh?”
“Yeah, friends.” Yvonne took a bite of her own cookie and squinted at her. Melodie never understood why her grandmother’s squinting eyes had the effect of truth serum, but they did. “Well, friends who might have shared a kiss one night.”
“Ha! I knew it!” she exclaimed as she hit the table with her hand. “I see the way you two look at each other or touch each other when you think no one is looking. All I wanted was for the two of you to be friends, but this is even better.” Yvonne’s excitement was contagious and Melodie couldn’t help but smile at her elation. Then she quickly remembered reality.
“How is it better, Mammie? Ana’s going back home once her research is done. So where does that leave us?” She was surprised when her eyes filled with tears. She’d never expressed her fear out loud before, and saying the words made them almost too real.
Yvonne took her hands and looked at her straight in the eyes. “Oh, Melodie. And what if she stayed?”
“What? Did she tell you she wanted to stay?”
She lowered her eyes for a few seconds before she focused on her again to answer. “No, not exactly. But she’s admitted what brought her here was more than her research. She felt some kind of mysterious pull to this place, to us. And I have to tell you, love, the more I see the two of you together, the more I think that pull was all about you. She came here for you, Mel. She doesn’t know it yet, and I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I’m convinced of it.”
She jerked her hands from under her grandmother’s and crossed her arms on her chest. “You are crazy, Mammie. Ana’s here to write about her relocation strategy. That’s all.” She shoved the last of her cookie into her mouth and chewed energetically.
“Yet what has she been doing for the past three weeks, huh? She went to what? Two or three meetings at most? She spent the rest of her time working on this place, taking care of all of us every way she could, buying appliances for us…kissing you.”
Melodie swallowed her cookie and stared at her grandmother. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Oh please. Do you really think Ana’s the type to kiss someone she knows she’ll leave behind in a few weeks? Have you even talked to her about it?” Melodie shook her head in reply. “You know, dear, the way you took charge after the storm really impressed me. You didn’t hesitate one second to ask Kevin and your father to help with the repairs, and I thought, good for her. She’s not scared to ask for what she wants, and she gets things done. Don’t stop now. If you want something more from Ana, if you want her to stay, ask her.”
“But what if she says no,” she said weakly as tears fell to her cheeks. Yvonne stood up and walked around the table to come and hold her. She dropped her head against her grandmother’s chest and let her rock her gently.
“That’s always the worst thing that can happen, isn’t it? We spend so much time being afraid of that word. No. If she says no then you’ll be hurt. But it’s worth a try, don’t you think? Won’t it hurt just as much if you don’t ask her?”
“Yeah, I guess it will.”
Yvonne took her face between her hands and gently tilted it as she looked down, forcing their eyes to meet. “So you’ll talk to her?”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good girl.” She kissed her forehead and then looked at her watch.
“It’s getting late. You want to sleep here tonight?”
“No, I’ll go back home. I didn’t bring any of Miller’s food with us and he must be starving. Besides, you girls need some time alone. You have all weekend to figure things out. Take advantage of it.”
She walked her grandmother to the lobby and helped her put on her long winter jacket. They hugged tightly. When they broke their embrace, Yvonne caressed her cheek. “This makes me happy, Melodie. I really like Ana. And I love you, my dear girl.”
“I love you too, Mammie.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ana parked her car in its usual spot in the parking lot of the White Sheep Inn. She felt her heartbeat accelerate and she took a few deep breaths in an attempt to control it. This was ridiculous. She’d been alone with Melodie before. They’d managed an entire night and day alone during and after the storm, yet she’d been so calm then compared to now. Excitement and fear were battling to take charge of her heart and body. Excitement took the lead every time she remembered that kiss they’d shared on the piano bench,
the kiss she’d thought about every night during the past two weeks. She’d kissed other women in her life, of course, but never like this. Every other kiss she’d experienced seemed calculated, expected, well orchestrated, as if it had been rehearsed from beginning to end before it happened. Kissing Melodie had been the complete opposite: an impulsive, spontaneous, clumsy but passionate expression of hunger and desire. She wanted more, but she was terrified of what it meant. And that’s when fear took over.
What did this yearning and complete lack of restraint mean? Was this what falling in love was really supposed to feel like? Or had she completely lost her mind? She’d spent the last two weeks trying to tame her emotions, making a list of pros and cons about feeling the way she did. The long list of cons went from being uncertain of the reciprocity of her affection to the strong possibility of being hurt, not to mention having to move away from the stability she’d made for herself in Ithaca. The pros column was short but weighed heavily. It simply felt too damn good. So as she kept weighing the pros and cons, she began nonchalantly asking people she’d interviewed since her arrival in Sainte-Luce-Sur-Mer about possible positions at the University of Rimouski or the Maritime Institute of Quebec.
She took one more breath before she gave up on managing her emotions. The more she sat there in her car, the worse her turmoil became, so she might as well go inside and find out if Melodie was in a similar condition. She found the inn almost in complete darkness and felt nothing but disappointment at the thought that Melodie might have gone to bed. The letdown was not a happy feeling, but it had the merit of being clear and unequivocal. “Melodie?”
Melodie appeared in the dark hall and although Ana could barely see her, she recognized the pink robe she’d worn during the storm. “There you are. I was about to give that bubble bath another try. Come here and keep me company,” she said before she went back to her room, leaving the door open for Ana. When Ana entered, she saw steam come out of the half-closed bathroom door. She got close enough to breathe it in and smiled at the familiar mandarin scent.
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