by Zavi James
I kissed my fingertips before stepping forward and pressing them on the stone. Leaning down, I plucked a few flowers from the bouquet and straightened up again. "Come with me," I told Mia.
We walked through the cemetery together until we stopped in front of another grave and this time, I placed the flowers on top. When I looked back at Mia, her eyes were glassy.
"Dad," she whispered. "You kept him close."
Since coming back home, Mia hadn’t visited Hector. She hadn't found the closure she needed from those traumatic events, burying herself in work and motherhood. Finding Xavier and getting revenge for all the wrongs he had dealt us was only one way of moving forward but Mia needed to put things right with Hector.
"For you," I told her, pulling her in and kissing her head. In all my anger and confusion at Mia leaving, I couldn’t bring myself to abandon Hector. I’d thought it was the last thing I’d do for her — I didn’t realise how wrong I was.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, turning towards her dad. "I know." Her voice wobbled and she started again, "I know you might not have wanted this for me but I'm so happy now. I'm sorry I never got to make up with you, Dad, but I swear I never stopped loving you. I am so sorry." Mia choked on a sob and my grip on her tightened.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I muttered against her hair, wondering if I’d done the wrong thing by springing this on her.
"Don't apologise," she said, looking up at me. "It was about time I saw him. I was just scared."
“He loved you,” I told her softly. “No matter what happened, he loved you.”
“I know he did. I love him too. I just wish I could have told him that.”
The time was spent in quiet whispers with family no longer with us. Mia composed herself just before we walked into the church. Streaks of mascara vanished from her cheeks and she was pink from the cold but as the service started, you would never have known that she'd been crying. I loved her for so many reasons but the strength she showed always had me in awe of her.
There were moments in my life that I had thought about. Typical whims and wishes of man but I highly doubted God would ever grant me them. I did too much of the devil's work to be afforded the simple pleasures in life. That and I didn't trust myself to have them. They were too fragile to be placed in my hands. Too sacred to be resigned to this world. So, it felt surreal to be standing in church beside Mia, my patient and diplomatic better half, holding Lincoln, my son and double.
Link had been surprisingly well-behaved, carefully passed from parents to Godparents to priest as he was committed to the faith. Anything to do with Link made me glow with pride. This tiny thing had an unsteady start before he'd even entered the world. I'd missed a lot out of pure stubbornness, and I was certain I'd never forgive myself for it, but I'd be there for him through the rest of his life. Looking at him now, it was difficult to believe our baby would one day grow up to have a life of his own. He'd make mistakes and get knocked down, but I'd teach him how to handle the lows and keep his chin up the way Charlie had shown me.
Dante practically bounced on the balls of his feet throughout the entire service. Every hair stayed in place and he didn’t loosen his tie in his effort to show everyone how seriously he took his new role. I knew that he'd love any children we had but I'd grossly underestimated how much.
You'd have thought Dante fathered Link the way he beamed with pride and fawned over him, but I wasn't about to burst that bubble. My son deserved to be doted on and my brother deserved a family that loved him. We were by no means traditional, could be classified as barely functional, but the love ran deep and on days like today, it was hard to imagine that anything else was needed.
"Dante, give him to me," Carmen demanded, attempting to take Link from him for the photographs after Father Duffy concluded the ceremony.
Dante turned away quickly, holding Link up a little higher. "You have two of your own," he told her.
"I want to spend time with my godson. You live here with him. Hand him over."
"Make me,” he told her. “Fight me."
"Emilio!" Carmen called, never one to get her hands dirty when her husband was around. From the centre of a row, Emilio's head shot up as he looked over to his wife.
"Shhhh!" Dante hissed. "You play dirty, Diaz." He narrowed his eyes and passed Link over to a smug-looking Carmen.
"It was your mistake taking me on," she told him, cooing over Link. Dante huffed in response and hovered over Carmen's shoulder.
"If we could get a few shots with all of you?" the photographer said to me, lowering the camera. "Is your wife around?"
"I'm right here," Mia told him, coming up the aisle, not bothering to correct him. She had Javier cradled in one arm and Santiago held her other hand. Emilio followed behind her, helping Mom along the way.
The last of the photographs were taken and the congregation started to disperse, making their way to the house for the joint celebrations. It had felt like the safest decision to host everyone at home rather than out in the open where we would be constantly worried. I didn't want Mia to focus on anything else today.
As we left the church, Mia walked ahead of me, hips swaying and hugged by the blush pink dress she’d chosen for the occasion. Her figure hadn't quite returned to its pre-pregnancy form but there were no complaints from me. She still drove me to distraction, and I could never get my fill of this woman. I had half a mind to cancel the reception at the house so I could show her my appreciation for all the work she’d put in today.
"We're in a church." Dante laughed as he joined me. "Get your mind out of the gutter."
"Who said my mind was in the gutter?" I asked, still drinking her in as he slung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close and banging our skulls together as we walked.
"You're telling me you're not thinking about extending the family with the way she looks in that dress?" That earned him a slap to the back of his head, but I couldn't help the grin that came to my face. I'd been caught red-handed.
"You two better not be planning any trouble. I'm not in the mood to talk Mia and Carmen down from homicide." Emilio joined my left side.
"Have you ever succeeded in talking Carmen down?" Dante asked thoughtfully, and I snickered. If Mia was wilful, Carmen was bull-headed. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for the pair of them to spend so much time together. They'd already proven to be a handful when left to their own devices, and I suddenly realised why people weren't keen to leave Dante and I on our own.
"Luc," Emilio said as we stepped out into the fresh air. "Carmen's a little worried with everything that's happened."
"I never would have guessed with the daily phone calls," I replied.
Every evening, like clockwork, Carmen’s face filled the screen of Mia’s phone and the two caught up on everything from christening to wedding to parenting to who knew what else. It was safer to live life in ignorance sometimes. And every evening, without fail, Carmen did a full assessment of Mia to make sure she was okay.
"We just want to tell you we're here if you need us for anything."
Yet another example of how blood meant nothing. "We know and we appreciate it." It was a comfort knowing the Diaz family would stand behind us but there was no need to get anyone else involved. Not yet. We wanted to keep this as contained as possible, meaning that we wouldn't be calling in any favours unless it spiralled beyond what we deemed manageable.
"Are you any closer?"
"Not yet," Dante grumbled.
"But we will soon if who we have working on it knows what's good for him," I added.
"Who's working with you?" Emilio asked interestedly. I shook my head. "Ah," he said in understanding. "I trust we'll be the first to know when the time comes."
Emilio had been wanting Xavier's blood ever since Horatio had been murdered. But Emilio wasn't stupid. He wouldn't start a war that could put so many at risk. He waited for someone else to come in and take the shot. It just so happened that I was the one who stepped up to the plate.
> "We're looking forward to the day we toast to you as head of the family," he said with a grin.
"We all are," Dante agreed.
Chapter Ten
Mia
At the house, people filled the rooms and spilled out into the backyard. The caterers had set food on every available surface and champagne was poured with wild abandon. Helium balloons in white and gold floated periodically through the hallways tethered to the ground by small weights and photographs of Luc from his childhood up to now made up a large wall in the living room. Two extravagantly decorated cakes stood in the yard, one for the christening and one for Luc's birthday. Never again would I try to arrange two events on the same day in two weeks while trying to organise my wedding. I was exhausted.
"I don't know how you've done it, Mia," Rosalie said, clinking her champagne glass against mine.
Neither do I, I thought to myself but bit back on vocalising that. "I'm just glad everyone could make it on short notice."
"We wouldn't have missed it," Katia said. Her eyes watched Carmen, and I had the distinct feeling that she felt snubbed at being passed over for the position of Godmother.
It felt right to ask Carmen not only because I was godmother to both her boys but because at my lowest point, Carmen had held my hand and made the world seem less bleak. She'd hidden me despite the fact that it meant lying to her husband and sat with me through my grief and the shock of my pregnancy. She'd shown me light and kindness when I thought the world no longer possessed it.
“I’m just going to check everyone is doing okay for food and drink,” I told them, taking my leave.
My feet ached as I weaved in and out of guests, answering questions and collecting compliments. It was late in the afternoon by the time I decided to check in on Luc who I hadn’t seen in a while. It struck me as madness that we had a house big enough that we could lose each other in it for hours even if it wasn’t filled with guests.
The afternoon breeze was crisp, but the sun kept the day lukewarm as I stepped outside. Luc was with Dante, Emilio and a few others, laughing raucously at some story they shared. It made my heart flutter wildly in my chest to see him so carefree even if it were only for an afternoon. One day, that would be our norm but for now I was grateful for the few hours of peace. A quick snapshot of our future when we’d achieved our dreams.
I was about to head back inside, content, that Luc was happy when someone caught my eye. Tori leaned against the far wall and turned her head away quickly, but I couldn't ignore her. The trio comprising of Vittoria, Gabriel and Chastity had all attended the christening, to my surprise. They sat brazenly towards the front with Chas the only one to show a modicum of emotion as she dabbed a tear at the corner of her eye.
Smoothing out my dress nervously, I crossed the yard to join Tori. She pushed herself off the wall as I reached her, and I half expected her to raise her fists and fight me with the expression she wore.
"Mia," she greeted me frostily.
"Tori." Certain things had been hardwired into my brain, so I reached over and kissed both her cheeks. She tensed under my touch and I took a step back to give us both space. "Are Gabe and Chas here?" I hadn't seen them in the house, or his shock of blonde hair in the yard either.
"No. They went home."
"But you stayed." If Tori had decided to come to ours rather than go home, there was a possibility that we could salvage something from the ruins around us.
"Not for you." Her tone didn't match mine. Icy and cold, it shattered any hope I held that she might be less swayed by her family name.
Her eyes flicked past me to the group that Dante was a part of. I glanced back over to them to hear Dante's laughter rise above the rest along with the words 'go fuck yourself, Luc'.
When I looked back to Tori, her face was pinched. "It's like he doesn't even care."
"He cares more than you know," I told her.
Dante had been quieter than usual, and this was the first time I’d seen him at ease. Link continued to prove he was the remedy to any ailment. That, and knowing Dante, a hearty dose of alcohol.
“He’s spoken to you about it? That’s no surprise. You three are as thick as thieves.”
“He hasn’t been himself since you broke up.”
“He seems completely fine to me,” she said bitterly.
“Because we’re all used to showing our cards to the world?”
That must have struck a nerve because Vittoria responded with, “You are the last person I want to discuss this with." It was sharp and short and a way to get rid of me, but I wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t have the right to be in my home and dismiss me.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll have a heartfelt conversation with Gabe about your heartache."
"There she is," Tori almost hissed at me and I felt my cheeks burn red. "You look like butter wouldn't melt but you're as vicious as the rest of us."
"I wanted to help you. You're the one snapping at me, Vittoria."
"Help me?" She laughed. "You and Luc are only interested in helping yourselves."
"You're about to condemn us for the same sins you and your family commit? That's a little hypocritical, don't you think?"
"We haven't been trying to destroy your family in a process."
"You have no idea."
“If this is about what happened when you left, about how Dad reacted, what did you expect, Mia? His job is to protect this family. He didn’t know if you’d give away every secret we had.”
“No. He wanted to protect his secrets,” I told her before I could stop herself.
“What?”
“Nothing. Vittoria, you don’t know the full story. I’m not doing this out of spite.”
"Then tell me, Mia," Tori said. "Let me into the damn circle. I can’t get a straight answer out of you or Dante or Dad.”
"I can't," I said, fire dying down. "It's not up to me."
"You used to be able to tell me anything. When did that change?"
I missed Vittoria desperately and I wanted to admit everything to her, but it wasn't my secret to tell. This belonged to Luc and he refused to tell anyone the truth. My loyalty to him ran deeper than any friendship I held.
"Dante needs to know he can trust you," I said, changing the topic.
Vittoria blinked at me and sighed. "Can you truly trust anyone here?" she asked me. She sounded tired and I knew the feeling. Vetting every single sentence, depending on who was around you and what connections they had, was exhaustive business that made me want to take a vow of silence. It would be easier to never say another word. "If you told me what was going on, then I could make a proper decision about who I'm meant to trust." She'd expertly brought us back to where we were.
"Then you need to speak to him.”
“I tried,” she said, exasperated. “I tried and we broke up.” Tori’s eyes grew glassy and my heart hurt because this was my fault, but I couldn’t get wrapped up in those thoughts or I’d stumble. “What else am I meant to do?”
Tori was right. They all were. Almost two years of being in their company had sharpened everything about me. I’d always been observant, but I figured out that wasn’t enough. You couldn’t just notice things. You had to file them away and be ready to pull them out at a moment’s notice. Everything I had learned to become was everything I tried to avoid in others. It was a vicious cycle, but I had seen what falling behind had done the first time and I refused to be at the bottom of the class anymore.
“Help us,” I said to her quietly. Tori narrowed her eyes but didn’t respond. “If you helped us out, it would show him you trust him.”
“And how exactly would I help you?” Tori folded her arms across her chest.
I needed to choose my words carefully. If I phrased it wrong, then I risked making things worse between all of us. If that was even possible. If I did this properly, then there was a chance that I could go back to Angelo with information that would speed up the process and allow us to move on with our lives.
“Y
our dad,” I started. I feared that my heart might just beat out of my chest and flop onto the grass between us. “He said he was on business, but no one knows where he’s gone. He left Gabe in charge, so everyone’s assuming he’ll be away for a while. What’s going on?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” she told me.
“You said you couldn’t get a straight answer out of him, Tori. You’ve spoken to him.”
“He calls to check in on Gabe.”
“Where is he?”
“I don’t know.” But I’m not certain if she’s telling me the truth. “All I know is that—"
“Mia.” Luc’s voice made me jump out of my skin, firm and stern, and Tori clamped her mouth shut. “What are you up to?” I wasn’t a gambling person, but I’d bet money that Luc had developed a sixth sense for knowing when I was up to no good.
“Just catching up with Tori,” I told him, flashing a bright smile. The look on Luc’s face told me he didn’t buy it.
“I think we were done here anyway,” Tori told him. “So, you can go and mingle and socialise or whatever it is you do these days.” She drained the champagne flute in her hand. “Happy birthday,” she said to Luc and turned on her heel, walking back inside.
"Why were you speaking to her?" Luc asked, placing a hand on the small of my back and guiding me back towards the group. He must have seen us and deployed himself on a one-man rescue mission. Cute but annoyingly unnecessary when Tori was on the verge of telling me something. The moment Luc appeared, she'd closed off.
"She was on her own. I wanted to make sure she was okay."
"And?"
"She's hurting, Luc."
In the quiet, I looked up at Luc. I was sure he had some comment, but he thought better of it. "It's for the best," he said eventually, and I hoped he was right.