by Zavi James
“That’s not exactly a viable option now, is it?” The funeral had been scheduled for the day after the surgery. Luc would be in no fit state to turn up at the church.
“You’d need to be the one to attend and represent the family,” Emilio pointed out, having recovered from his earlier scare.
Mia lifted her chin to look at him. “I’m not sure the invitation is being extended to us.”
“You don’t need an invitation.” Emilio took a step towards her and I shifted closer to her side. With Luc down and out, I’d stepped up to the protector role. “You head this family, Mia. Their business is your business whether they like it or not. Plus, they all know it was you who did the dirty deed. I doubt anyone will be willing to tell you what to do for quite some time.”
There wasn’t a single person in our family, or beyond, who didn’t know that Mia had taken the shot that landed Xavier in his grave. Mia had sat at home and batted away questions from the likes of Katia and Rosalie and so many others. People invited themselves to the house and she turned no one away. Mia welcomed each of them with a smile and didn’t rush them out the door. Some pledged their loyalty quite willingly and others watched cautiously from a distance, but the fact of the matter was, whether out of fear or adoration, Mia was revered.
She’d been dealing with it all so methodically that I’d grown curious over what she and Luc had discussed when I was kicked out of the room that afternoon.
When all the guests left, she grew quiet. The smile wasn’t as dazzling, and bravado packed away for another day. Alone, in the safety of those she trusted, Mia became mother before boss. Link was in every room with her and there were bottles of pregnancy vitamins stashed away in the cupboards. I was sure everyone who had temporarily moved into the house had seen them, but they had the sense to not make a comment. When she dashed towards the bathroom and went to her scheduled appointments, Carmen took up her place by Mia’s side. They’d been through this together before and Carmen would help her again without complaint.
“Watch your mouth,” Luc warned Emilio, but Mia silenced him with a hand on his arm. He hadn’t seen the full effect of her work yet. Visitors had been kept to a minimum with the bulk of the work landing on my plate until Luc was discharged and back in the office.
“Vittoria,” she said quietly, casting her glance my way.
“Will understand protocol,” I returned. “She won’t say a word against you being there.” The funeral, in Vittoria’s eyes, was a formality. The last thing she was required to do for her father before she could forget about him and move on with her life.
Tori had barely said a word to me about the ordeal. Neither of us mentioned it. My loyalties were clearly displayed to the world and although Tori fell alongside us, the Morettis were still her family. It was more complicated for her and I wasn’t going to try and rub salt in that particular wound. If she wanted to talk about it, I’d be there to listen but until then we muddled along like everyone else.
“You’ll be there?” Mia asked, looking at me. I should have realised that Mia would air towards agreeing with Luc. Neither of them could say no to each other, which meant that I’d end up splitting myself on the day.
“I won’t be able to be with you constantly. Vittoria asked—”
“It’s a sign of strength to do it alone,” Emilio cut in. He folded his arm across his chest and fixed his gaze on Mia. “Surely, you’re not scared of a little public opinion after all the stunts you’ve pulled.”
“You won’t be alone,” Luc covered quickly. “All our men will be behind you.”
“Carmen and I will be there,” Emilio said. “Not to pay our respects. We just want to make sure the fucker doesn’t crawl out the grave to haunt us again.”
“You know what, Diaz,” I said, stepping towards him. “I think we’ve got this covered right now.” Emilio’s own issues with Xavier and his own way of running his family were giving him foot-in-mouth syndrome, and before Luc decided to sever ties and Mia collapsed in on herself, it was better that he left.
Emilio lifted his hands and nodded. “If you need anything, you have my number, Luc. Eduardo will be here for the funeral. He’ll be yours until you have no use for him. He’ll be discreet.”
“Does your brother understand the word discreet?” I asked. Eddie Diaz had always been someone who enjoyed flashing his cash and could be guaranteed as being one of the loudest voices in the room.
“He knows what’s on the line,” Emilio replied.
This was how it had been since the moment the news began to spread. The battery on my phone was ready to die a death with how much it had been in use. Allies offering support while Luc and Mia were incapacitated. It was a safety net in case the rest members of the family caught a fever for power. So far, there had been no signs of anyone challenging us. A mixture of Charlie’s legacy, Luc’s temper and Mia’s perseverance to live had most of the family fall neatly in line for the time being.
“He’s more trouble than help!” Luc shouted as Emilio exited the room. Emilio’s response was to stick his arm back through the door and give the far corner of the room the middle finger.
“You have a surprising number of friends for someone who is so grumpy all the time,” Mia said, leaning down to kiss Luc.
I collapsed back into the chair, feet planted firmly apart, and head tipped back towards the ceiling. “I’ve been saying it for years. The fact you’ve stuck around for as long as you have is a testament to the fact that fucking miracles exist,” I agreed, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“You’re a fucking ray of sunshine yourself these days,” Luc said. “What’s wrong with you?”
Slowly, I lifted my head to look at my brother. Mia had perched herself on the edge of the bed and I could see her mouth pucker as she shushed him, trying to teach him some manners.
“I just don’t feel comfortable with her going to the funeral,” I said, putting it out there. “You’re not meant to be stressing over anything.”
Luc moved a hand to her stomach. His frustrations didn’t just stem from the impending surgery and recovery but the fact that once again he wasn’t able to be by Mia’s side through the pregnancy. Mia was still worried, and I knew this as a fact because she continued to ask to pray with me. She never said a word, but she watched me like a hawk as I moved through the beads on the rosary. Neither of them was prepared to lose their child, and neither was I.
I was a long way off wanting children of my own, but it was a weird sensation when Mia handed Link over to me at the hospital. We hadn’t had something worth protecting with our every breath in such a long time. Never been trusted with something so precious. We were reckless and selfish and cared for nothing but ourselves.
When I agreed to be a godfather to their tiny cub, I took every vow seriously. It made sense to me that they’d have more kids. I never thought about them losing any because that’s what we were there for — to protect them. In this case, there was nothing we could do apart from minimise Mia’s stress and attending a funeral of a person who had made her life hell until she’d finally murdered him didn’t sound like it was on that list.
“We’ll be okay,” Mia said, looking at their hands on her stomach.
“I’m just saying that you have a choice,” I reminded her. “You’re within your right to say no.” It might have been stepping on Luc’s toes but there were some things that protocol could be broken for.
I caught Luc’s eye and saw him wrestle with himself. It was easy for me to say. I wasn’t the one with all of the responsibility. Luc wasn’t just a husband or a father. He wasn’t a brother or a boss. He was all of that and more and he needed to learn quickly how to balance it all.
“You have a choice, Mia,” he repeated eventually. Mia had always been the person Luc bent the rules for. From the moment she first got under his skin, Luc had softened in ways he shouldn’t have. “I won’t force you to do anything.”
“I’ll go,” she told us. “It’s what we need to d
o.”
“This isn’t lunch with the girls,” I said to her gently. How naïve had we been that afternoon when we told her all she’d need to do was throw some parties and get to know the wives better? That moment felt like a lifetime ago.
“No, I know.” Mia sighed and looked at me. “But this is our family, and it needs to be shown that it still has leadership and while Luc can’t do that, you’ve stepped in and now I will. This is what we wanted. All of us. So, no hiding away. It’s one day.”
I wondered how deep her well ran because at every point I thought my sister might run empty, she managed to dig deep and find more. She was a far cry from the woman who’d sat timidly at the breakfast table the first morning I’d seen her.
“I guess I should make some phone calls and make sure everyone knows to close business and be at the house ready for you,” Luc said. He’d want them to be prepared and to know that their only concern that day was Mia.
“I’ll do it,” I said, getting up from the chair and stretching out. “You two spend some time together. I’ll make the calls and head home for a nap. I’ll be back later. Don’t scandalise the nurses!”
Mia laughed and muttered, “You are such a dick.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Mia
Lydia offered to keep Link, and although it pained me to be away from my cub, I agreed. Link had been through enough in his short life and it didn’t feel fair to drag him to a funeral. Not only that, but I was nervous that something might happen, and I wanted Link to be as far away from it as possible.
I’d stopped to see Luc before the funeral. The surgery yesterday had been successful and Luc’s left leg, below the knee, had been removed. I tried my best not to cry but I couldn’t help it, tears forming wet tracks down my face as he came around. Luc was dealing with it all in his typical way — with a rash temper and refusal to show weakness. As I left the hospital, I tried to take some of his spirit with me.
Agreeing to attend the funeral had been easy when Dante and Luc had been by my side, but as the car made its way to the church, I felt the nerves kick in. I’d only left the house to go to the hospital. This would be the first time I’d see everyone again in the same room and it made my mouth dry. I had visions of Gabe and Emilia and even Vittoria screaming at me to leave, and I almost told Dom to turn around and abandon this plan altogether.
Dom opened the door and helped me out of the car. The pain from the ordeal hadn’t stopped. Most nights I woke up in a cold sweat, panicked by the darkness and having to remind myself that I was safe at home. I think I would have spiralled, would have completely broken down if it weren’t for the reminder that I had two children to look after. One who needed me to be present and deserved to have a mother who could make happy childhood memories with him, and another that relied on me keeping calm so that it could survive.
As I straightened out my dress, the sounds of doors slamming shut and footsteps surrounded me. The men that usually fell in line for Luc had taken up their most recent job with an intensity that was almost suffocating but not unwelcomed. This public trip had seen Luc place what felt like his entire roster behind me to watch my every move. His men. Our men. We were taking no risks and they weren’t about to fail us, knowing how fatal the consequences could be.
“Are you ready?” Dom asked.
Truthfully? No. I could barely remember my mother’s funeral and hadn’t been present for Dad’s, and yet here I was about to pay my respects to a man I hated. It suddenly struck me that this probably wouldn’t be the last time I was placed into a situation like this. Death was part and parcel of this job and how many more would we see off?
“Yes,” I replied.
Dom nodded his head and took off ahead of me. I took in a deep breath before following, heels clicking out a steady rhythm as we approached the doors of the church. Just inside of them, Vittoria stood greeting people and my stomach churned. We hadn’t seen each other since the night of the fire. She hadn’t stopped by the hospital or the house and I couldn’t bring myself to ask Dante about her properly.
Once Dom had cleared the way, I stood in front of Vittoria. Even in her grief, she looked perfect like she always had. Tori was the one to break the silence first. “Dante said you’d be here. I wasn’t sure if you’d turn up.”
Cautiously, I reached over and placed a kiss on both of her cheeks. “We were a little delayed. I stopped to check on Luc.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Okay,” I said with a nod. We hadn’t chosen to broadcast Luc’s situation to the family, but Vittoria would know because of Dante. “You should visit him,” I said quietly.
“I will. I...will.” Whatever she had intended to say was kept to herself. Tori was probably still processing all the news that had been given to her over the past few weeks.
“I know it might not be appropriate given the day and where we are, but I should say congratulations.”
Tori’s eyes dropped to her left hand where an engagement ring gleamed. My own band had been removed and would need to be replaced. Luc joked that it would be third time lucky. I’d told him we were cursed.
“I should say thank you,” Tori responded. “For allowing it to happen.”
“We weren’t sure you were going to agree, all things considered.”
“I learned the hard way that blood isn’t everything,” she told me. “I wish you’d said something earlier, Mia. I understand why you didn’t, but I wish you had.”
There was a lot that I wished for. If I sat alone for too long, if I allowed myself to get too caught up in my thoughts, I started to play out all the different realities that we could have lived. I wished I’d never visited Maria alone that afternoon. I wished that I’d stayed with Luc after Dad died. I wished I could’ve trusted the people I thought were my friends. But all of these wishes didn’t change the reality that I lived.
“It’s done,” I said. Carefully, I reached out, noticing her hair was caught around her earring just like it had been the first time I’d met her. My hand paused at her ear, realising that with my injuries, I couldn’t help her the way I once had.
Tori gave me a sad smile and I saw her eyes well up. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and carefully wrapped my hand in hers, bringing it back down between us.
“There’s no use going over it again and again.” I sucked in a breath. “I won’t hold you up any longer.” There was a line forming behind us of people waiting to enter before the service started.
“I’ll see you soon, Mia.”
Walking down the aisle towards the front of the church, the pews were packed with people and despite the nausea rolling in my stomach, a mixture of pregnancy and guilt, I tipped my chin up and stared ahead. I felt the eyes that landed on me as I walked past, making my skin prickle uncomfortably and every step feel heavy. There was no hiding. They all knew that I was the reason that they were gathered here for the sombre occasion. I missed Luc being at my side. I was stronger when I was part of a team, but I needed to draw on that strength now that I was flying solo.
Marcello rose from his seat and looked at me. I swallowed the lump of nervousness that lodged in my throat. “I’m glad you decided to show your face,” he said, hugging me gingerly. “And I’m glad you’re okay.” Business always came first.
“There’s no reason to hide,” I told him although that was all I longed to do.
I continued to the front of the church and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Maria sitting in the pew.
“Maria? What are you doing here?” I asked her.
“You think I would have missed this?” Her tremor was pronounced, and her words shook.
“If you’d told me, I’d have come to pick you up.”
I glanced along the pew and took the seat that was Luc’s usual position at the end by the aisle. Maria carefully moved herself along to sit beside me. “You have enough to deal with at the moment. I can make my way to the church without the fuss,” she said. There was a beat of silence and I lo
oked up ahead, then Maria spoke again, “You were meant to be his salvation from all of this.”
“I was meant to help pay off my Dad’s debt and leave,” I corrected her. “There isn’t anything you can say that could make me feel worse than I already do, Maria.” We held a tense relationship. I was the reason her youngest son was dead, and, in her eyes, the reason Luc was still involved in all the criminal work that he took on. I was the villain in the story, and I’d done nothing to redeem myself. We’d had this conversation on a few occasions. Her resentment for me only dimmed because I held access to her grandchildren.
“He’ll never be able to walk away now. Is this really what you wanted for Link?”
I shifted in my seat, completely unprepared for this argument today. “I want what’s best for my son, just like you want what’s best for yours. That doesn’t always equate to the same thing, Maria. Luc will not leave this family and I will not leave his side. You need to accept that this is his life, and this is where our family will stay.”
“I hope for both your sakes that it’s worth it.”
I didn’t bother to respond to her as people began to take their seats for the service. Dante straddled the fine line between Foster and Moretti one last time as a pallbearer for Xavier before he joined me, taking up the seat directly behind.
The service began and my muscles tensed, mouth refusing to open for hymns and prayers sounding muffled in my ears. My eyes were fixed on the coffin, a closed casket affair because, as Dante had informed me, my shot had done some severe damage to Xavier’s face. That detail had done nothing to help soothe the nightmares. It amazed me that the entire church was packed when so many had openly expressed their disdain towards Xavier after his death. Another example of how duty bound them above their personal afflictions.
By the time Father Duffy had concluded the service at the graveside, people were quick to leave. Their duty was done, and they saw no need to hang around for longer than necessary. Xavier no longer pulled their strings, requiring them to show him any loyalty, and I didn’t command any of them to stick around.