by Abigail Agar
It was terribly unfair.
Peter was beginning to wonder if he would ever have the sort of happiness that he saw taking place before him.
Then again, although the two clearly interacted well enough, they were separated. By him.
He felt bad in that moment. Whereas some men might be angry, jealous even, Peter found himself a good deal more upset by the fact that he could not have these frivolous conversations with the one woman in whom he was interested.
“Oh dear, I fear we are boring my friend,” Andrew said.
Lady Seton looked to Peter and immediately cast her eyes down. It was clear that she was ashamed. That she understood she had made a mistake.
Peter was not angry at her and he hoped that he would have an opportunity to tell her that.
“Please, continue. I fear that I missed out on the enjoyment that the two of you engaged in, but that does not mean that you must cease to speak about it on my account,” he said.
“You are too patient. It is unfair of us to indulge like this,” Andrew said.
“Not in the least,” Peter said. “It makes me happy to know that you two enjoyed yourselves so much.”
“Well, your intended is a rather exciting woman,” Andrew said.
Peter appreciated the respect with which Andrew had said it. His statement had been one which acknowledged that Peter was meant to be marrying her. Still, he understood the notes of longing in Andrew’s voice. But it was clear that he would not have to worry about it.
It was clear that Andrew cared enough for their friendship that he would not do anything to betray Peter.
They continued to stand and walk together for quite some time. After finishing the conversation about the gathering that had taken place at the Seton Estate, they began to discuss the ball that Andrew had hosted.
Peter remembered that the two of them had barely interacted at the ball. He had felt bad for most of the night because he wondered if he had been the object of Andrew’s misery.
However, it appeared that they had managed to find some time to speak after all. They were sharing stories now of things that had taken place that very evening.
Again, loneliness swarmed over Peter. Jealousy was nothing, but being alone was more terrifying than anything.
He walked along with the two of them. But he might as well have been walking alone.
As their time at the park came to a close, he was frustrated. Peter realised that he had never had his questions answered.
He had brought Lady Seton to the park so that they might talk about their plans. He had brought her so that they could decide what it was that they wanted to do. Peter had been hoping that he would be able to give an answer to her father.
Instead, the entire time had been spent watching his intended and his closest friend behave as though they had very strong feelings for one another.
It was not what he had wanted, and he felt compelled to return to the Seton Estate so that he could get his answers.
“Thank you for the lovely walk around the park, Lord Hawthorn,” Lady Seton said, her eyes taking on a dreamy gaze.
Andrew had just departed and now it was time for Peter and Lady Seton to part ways as well.
“Yes, well, we did not finish our discussion,” Peter said, wanting her to know that he had not forgotten.
“Of course. We must. I am rather tired at the moment and I do believe that my father shall want me home, but we may speak about it soon,” she said.
Peter sighed before realising that he was not holding his temper as tightly as he wished.
“Soon? Well, if that is what it must be,” he said.
“Of course, My Lord. Soon,” she promised.
With that, Lady Seton climbed into her coach and left him behind.
Peter watched her go, wondering if he would be on his own forever.
Or, worse, he would be with a woman who loved another man.
Chapter 23
“Miss Cloud, there is a letter for you,” Sybil said to Beatrice, handing it over.
“Thank you,” Beatrice said, taking the letter and eyeing it with eagerness.
Indeed, it was from her mother.
Beatrice rushed to her room and immediately opened the letter to see what it was that her mother had to say. Her stomach was turning.
Although she was excited, she was primarily filled with dread. The fact was that she did not want her mother to find her a match. She didn’t want any bachelors to come into her life and to tear her away from the man that she truly cared for.
If her mother did indeed find the right man, Beatrice would have to move forward with her plans. She would no longer be allowed to wish that there could be a future with Lord Hawthorn.
Of course, that was precisely the reason that she had started this. She was looking for a distraction. She was looking for someone to tear her away from the man that she truly cared for.
This was the best way for her to remain reasonable. If she allowed herself, she would be overwhelmed by the foolish hopes that she had.
But, alas, this letter held the key.
My dearest Bea,
My words cannot express how much we miss you in return. Your father was so sad that he was not able to be here for your visit. It left him rather distraught. However, I do believe that you will have a chance to see him soon enough.
I was thrilled to have received your letter. And I was very glad that you have made the decision that you spoke of.
As it happens, I have already had a few gentlemen in mind. Although none of them have been formally arranged, I would like to know how you feel about a few men in particular.
After I received your letter, I spoke with the mother of one of those young men. She agreed that it would be wise for the two of you to meet. If you like one another, we may proceed. If you do not, we have every option of ending any potential courtship before it begins.
She has promised and assured me that there will be no ill-content between us regardless of the resolution. However, I think you will like him.
He is a handsome young man, and his mother is extremely kind. They moved here shortly after you left but you know her sister, Gemma Walsh.
The young man, Victor, seems decent enough. He is hard-working and quiet. At least, that is how he is around us.
I do hope that the two of you get along well.
This brings me to my next point. You ought to come within the next two weeks. Not only because it would be good to meet this young man as quickly as possible, but your father is currently at home.
He would love to see you and this is an excellent excuse.
I know that you are very busy and that you have many commitments to the family for whom you work, but this is very important.
I am not sure whether or not you intend to tell them your reason for coming, but if you do not wish for them to know that it is in regards to a gentleman, you may tell them that your father is going to be home for only a short time. He will be thrilled and full of joy at having his little girl home again.
Please write to me at once and tell me what your plans are. If you do intend to come right away, I shall arrange matters with the young man’s mother.
Additionally, I shall arrange with Marissa and Daisy to come for another visit. Even if you are able to only come for a weekend, as before, we shall make the best of our time together.
I love you very much, my dear. I look forward to seeing you married to a man who is deserving of you.
Until we meet, all my love,
Mother
And there it was. Right before her, an opportunity to find a husband of her very own.
Beatrice had not expected her mother to find a man so quickly. It made her anxious to think that it had taken so little time and she was beginning to wonder if her mother had already had this young man in mind all along.
She wondered if they would really like each other.
Beatrice began to daydream. She thought about what it would be like to meet a man wh
o was of her own station. If they got along very well, this could be the exact thing that she had been hoping for.
It felt too good to be true. Nevertheless, it was true. Her mother had found someone for her. Not only that, but it sounded like her mother had a few other men in mind just in case things did not go well.
But Beatrice was not worried about that. She knew her mother. And her mother knew her.
Of course her mother would have chosen the right man.
She continued to let herself think about what he must be like. Beatrice hoped that he was a man of integrity.
Certainly, it would be nice if he was handsome as well. But even if he did not have the same attraction as Lord Hawthorn, she would be willing to look past it. She had never been overly shallow.
However, Beatrice knew that she still had to get the approval of her employer if she wanted to go home to visit.
She could not tell them that she was going to meet a potential spouse. If she told them that, they would not want her to go. After all, once she was married she would no longer be a governess.
She would speak with Isla about it, but no one else.
If she was lucky, she would return with the news that she had been introduced to a man who had offered to marry her.
But her mother had been right. She would have to tell them that she wanted to go home again so soon because her father had returned. It was the only excuse that she could give that would be considered acceptable.
Beatrice wanted to do the right thing, and she wanted to be honest, but she also wanted to go with as much freedom as she could.
After much consideration, she decided what she was going to say. And with that, she went to find Lord Seton, knowing he would be in his study.
“My Lord,” she greeted once he had called for her to enter. “I had hopes that we may speak.”
“Yes? What is it about?” he asked in reply.
“As you are aware, I recently returned home for a visit. However, my father was not there,” she said.
Lord Seton looked up at her from his desk.
She felt his eyes and knew that he was already prepared to tell her now.
“It was very difficult to be so close and yet not see him. Because of that, I thought that it might be appropriate to ask you if I may return home once more. It would be only for two days,” she said.
“You have only just gone. What are my daughters to do if their governess continues to disappear at will?” he asked.
“I assure you, My Lord, that this will not be a habit. I simply wish to see my father, as he was working the previous time. However, he will be home for only two weeks. Therefore, if I am to go, it must be within this short span of time,” Beatrice told him.
“That certainly is a short span of time,” he said. “And although I am inclined to refuse your request, I am also a man with a heart. I understand the importance of being with family.”
“Thank you for that acknowledgment,” she said.
“Yes. And, as such, I shall grant to you my consent. However, do not grow accustomed to this. I should not like to think that you would take advantage of my kindness,” he said.
“You have my full assurance, My Lord. I do not intend for this to happen again. Only that I should go this one last time to see my father. Following this, I shall not go until the appointed holiday or occasion. You have my word,” she said.
“Do not worry,” he said. “You know that I am a reasonable man. If you need to go again for something important, I will allow it. It is only that I do not wish for it to impact the education of my girls.”
“I do not wish for that either,” she said.
“Very well then; we are agreed,” he replied.
“Thank you, My Lord. I am most grateful. I shall inform you once I have made my plans,” she said.
From there, Beatrice set about finalising all of her preparations. She made a firm decision about the dates and wrote to her mother. Following that, she went to speak with Isla.
“Really? You are going home again?” Isla asked.
“Only for a few days,” Beatrice said.
“I am shocked that my father has allowed it,” she replied.
“I must confess that there was a moment in which I thought he would not. However, he is reasonable. He understands the importance of seeing my father,” Beatrice said
“Is that all it is? Seeing your father?” she asked.
“What else would it be?” Beatrice asked in reply, allowing a mischievous grin to form.
“There it is. I knew there was something going on. You must tell me at once,” Isla demanded.
“Only if you make a promise to tell no one,” Beatrice said.
“You have my word. Now tell me,” she answered.
Beatrice took a deep breath and then went into her explanation.
“My mother made me an offer when I returned before. She was urging me to find a husband and asked if I would consent to giving her permission to find one for me. It made me anxious to think of, but I had to consider it,” Beatrice said.
“As I did so, it became clear to me that it was the right thing to do. If I am unable to find a husband of my own accord, why should I not allow my mother to do it?” Beatrice asked.
“You are very brave,” Isla said.
“No, not brave. It is only that I trust my mother,” Beatrice said.
“Indeed, that is brave. I do not know many women who trust their mothers or fathers with such a decision. Nevertheless, their mothers and fathers take control anyway,” she said in reply.
“Yes, well, regardless of what others have done, this is a decision that I have made. I trust my mother, and I look forward to meeting the man that she has chosen for me,” Beatrice said.
“What do you think he’s like?” Isla asked.
“I wish I knew,” Beatrice said. “I can think only that he must be a very reasonable man. After all, my mother knows I will accept nothing else.”
“You are a very lucky woman, indeed. I wish that my own mother was the sort who knew me well enough to choose the right man for me. As it is…” Isla trailed off, saying nothing more.
Beatrice could see that she was still struggling. Although she had shared her feelings for Lord Beckridge, she had not belaboured the matter.
It was difficult to see her in pain like this.
But Isla clearly did not wish to speak of it and, for that, Beatrice decided to give her what she desired.
As for her own hopes, Beatrice chose to try and be patient. It was very difficult, but worth it.
Soon, she would be meeting a lovely man. And, if all went according to plan, she would finally have the love that she craved.
Chapter 24
Peter had sent to Andrew to let him know that he would be coming to visit.