by A. K. Evans
Sienna licked her lips as she nodded. “Okay.”
We made our way around the store, adding all the necessary ingredients to the cart for the dinner I wanted her to have. After we got home and had lunch, Sienna took a nap since she’d been up several times throughout the night.
When she woke up, she grabbed some water and sat outside on the deck. For a long time, I simply watched her. I didn’t want to be overbearing and in her space constantly, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t crave it.
For so long, I’d fought against having something like this with anyone. I never thought it would be the life for me. I thought it would be the end of my career. And even though the band was taking a much-needed break right now after all the touring, I knew we’d be back in the studio again soon.
The guys had all been right.
There was no reason that having a woman in my life who meant something to me would be a death sentence for my music.
And though I’d thoroughly enjoyed my life up until this point, I could honestly say that I was no longer so interested or concerned with maintaining that lifestyle.
Because the more I was around Sienna, the more I was finding myself craving her. Sexually? Yes. I found myself constantly thinking about being with her like that again. But it wasn’t just that. There was so much about her that I was finding myself wildly attracted to.
And for that reason, I eventually got up and joined her out on the deck.
When I sat down beside her, she asked, “Do you ever use it?”
“Use what?”
She jerked her chin forward and answered, “The pool.”
“I don’t typically go in when I’m home alone,” I informed her. “But if I have people over in the summer months, I do.”
“If I were you, I’d be in there every single day,” she said.
“You know you’re more than welcome to, right?”
Sienna tore her eyes away from the pool and brought them to me. “That’s sweet of you to offer.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” I asked.
She shot me a look of disbelief and retorted, “As if you don’t know. I don’t exactly have a beach body right now.”
“So what? You look fucking sexy as hell to me,” I said, my voice a little louder than necessary.
I couldn’t help it, though. She was crazy to feel insecure about her body. From the back, I couldn’t even tell that she was pregnant. Sienna’s entire frame had remained just as it was before she was pregnant, with the exception of her rounded stomach.
“I think that’s a rule,” she declared.
“What is?”
“People are supposed to tell pregnant women that they’re sexy when those women are feeling insecure. It’s just the right thing to do.”
“Well, let it be known that I’ve never said anything like that to another pregnant woman,” I declared. “And I’m dead serious, Sienna. This isn’t about trying to make you feel good. I really do think you are beautiful. And to know that it’s my baby you’re keeping safe inside you makes you even more attractive than I think I could ever express.”
Technically, I had a couple of ways I could think of that I’d like to use to express what I thought of how she looked right now, but I didn’t tell her that. I promised her I wouldn’t let her regret the decision she made to stay with me until the baby was born. I’d throw subtle hints out there occasionally that indicated how I felt, but I wasn’t going to push it to a point she might not have been comfortable with. I was desperate not to screw this up.
“You really mean that,” she marveled.
Yes, marveled. It wasn’t a question. Something about me saying what I did the way I did indicated to her that I wasn’t feeding her a bunch of bullshit. Knowing that felt good. Because it meant that maybe she was starting to trust me.
“I do.”
She looked away, her gaze lingering on the pool again, before she asked, “Do you think you could take me back to my apartment one day next week so I could get my suit? I want to give myself some time to get used to this cast, but I think I could work it out within the week.”
I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I can definitely do that for you, baby.”
“Thank you.”
Something told me I’d be the one thanking her next week.
Instead of telling her that, I said, “Well, I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Whenever you’re ready to teach me how to cook, I’ll be waiting inside.”
I got up to leave.
“Roscoe?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you sit out here with me for just a few more minutes first?” she asked.
My body froze.
She wanted me there. I’d been trying to give her some time to herself, so she didn’t feel smothered, and here she was asking me to stay with her. Maybe I had been doing everything right.
“I’d love to,” I croaked as I sat back down beside her.
She looked over at me and smiled. And that look, that look right there did it for me.
I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from falling for her.
Oddly enough, I wasn’t the least bit worried.
Seventeen
Sienna
“I need your help.”
Those four words caught me by surprise. For two days now, Roscoe had been bending over backward to help me by doing more than necessary for me so I wouldn’t struggle.
But with his plea, I found myself feeling extremely curious.
An opportunity to help him? After all he’d done, there wasn’t any way I’d say no.
“Sure,” I replied. “What do you need?”
“Well, I need your help, but I might also need your forgiveness, too,” he shared. “I kind of did something that I’m thinking I should have talked to you about before I did it.”
I went from feeling determined to do whatever I could to help him to suddenly feeling alarmed. What could he have possibly done that would have required not only my help probably fixing, but also my forgiveness now that it had happened.
This was strange.
“You’re scaring me a little,” I confessed.
“You shouldn’t be scared,” he insisted. “I imagine once I tell you this, you’ll likely feel a bit nervous, even if it’s not necessary for you. I’m the one who should feel scared.”
He was killing me.
“Roscoe, what’s going on?” I demanded to know.
After taking in a deep breath, he said, “I called my parents, explained that I had something really important to tell them, and asked them to come over so I could share it.”
My eyes widened. “You told them.”
“Not yet. But they’re going to be here in the next twenty minutes, and I’d really like it if you would be there with me when I do,” he replied.
He was going to tell his parents. In all the craziness of the last few days, telling Roscoe’s parents about the pregnancy had sort of slipped my mind. And now he was the one bringing it up.
Maybe he really was serious about wanting to be a good dad. I mean, he’d done countless things over the last couple of days to indicate that was the case, but this was huge. Obviously, I was sure he knew he couldn’t keep this pregnancy a secret forever, but the fact that he was now getting right on top of it all meant a lot to me.
And that was why I reached my hand out to his, gave it a squeeze, and promised, “I’ll absolutely be here with you when you tell them.”
“Thank you, Sienna.”
“You’re welcome. How do you think they’re going to handle the news?”
“Honestly, they’ll be ecstatic. They love you, so they won’t be worried that I’ve gone and knocked up some groupie that’s going to take me for everything I own. But they’ll probably be a little disappointed that things aren’t the way they’d want to see them between us,” Roscoe admitted.
I had a feeling I knew what he meant by that, but I wanted to be sure. “How would they want to see things between us?
” I asked.
He hesitated for a long time, the silence stretching between us making me grow alarmed.
“Roscoe,” I called, an urgency in my tone.
“If they had their way, we’d be married,” he confessed.
I swallowed hard. That was precisely what I thought he was going to say. I didn’t exactly know what to say because I couldn’t deny that I wished Roscoe and I were married, too. I mean, I wasn’t so crazy that I thought we needed to rush into it now, but just knowing that we were on the same page and working to see if something like that was an option would have been nice.
Roscoe would never go there. He’d never want that. And I had to accept it.
But he did want to be a good father. Our baby deserved that, so I’d put aside what I wanted for the sake of my child.
Not wanting to put any additional pressure on him, I said, “We’ll let them down gently. I promise I’ll do what I can to make sure they understand that we’re doing what we’ve got to do right now for the baby.”
There was another moment of hesitation before Roscoe replied, “Okay. Thank you for being willing to do this with me.”
“You’re welcome.”
Just over twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door that led into the house from the garage. A second after, the door opened, and I heard Roscoe’s dad, Chris.
“Roscoe?” he called.
Roscoe was already on his way in that direction. I was getting myself up off the couch to follow behind him.
“Hey, Dad,” Roscoe greeted him before doing the same to his mom. “Hi, Mom.”
“What’s going on? I’ve been worried sick ever since you called,” his mom, Kim, panicked.
“I’m sorry,” he lamented. I decided to hang back a minute and let him give an explanation. “I can’t leave the house right now, but I didn’t want you to find this out from anyone else.”
“Oh, Roscoe, did you get yourself into some kind of trouble? Are you on house arrest or something?” Kim questioned him.
I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out into a fit of giggles. It didn’t matter that Roscoe was thirty-six years old now. Kim would still scold him for acting foolish and making bad choices. Kim was the reason Addy had her bold attitude. I loved it.
“Christ, mom. No, I’m not on house arrest,” Roscoe thundered. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Well, you said you couldn’t leave your house,” she argued. “What did you want me to think?”
This was quickly taking a turn, and the last thing I wanted was for this to be anything but a mostly happy occasion. So, I stepped out into the kitchen slowly and all eyes came to me.
“Sienna?” Kim called. “What are you do—”
Her eyes dropped to my stomach.
“Oh boy,” Chris muttered. “I think I know what Roscoe wants to talk to us about.”
“You’re pregnant,” Kim declared.
I nodded.
Her eyes went to her son. “You and Sienna are having a baby?” she asked cautiously.
Roscoe did not hesitate to respond. “Yes.”
Kim’s hand flew up to cover her mouth. She was clearly in a state of shock, which I completely understood, given what she knew about her son’s plans for his future.
Chris took charge and said, “Congratulations. I assume you’re happy about this news.”
“Thank you. I am. Sienna is, too.”
Kim rushed forward and hugged Roscoe. I stood there and watched until Chris made his way to me. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”
“Thank you.”
When he stepped back, Kim took his place. “Congratulations, Sienna. I’m so, so happy for the both of you.”
Hugging her back, I replied, “Thank you. That really means a lot to us.”
“When is the baby due? Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”
“October sixteenth. And, no, we don’t know. We’re keeping the sex of the baby a surprise.” I answered.
She nodded, her eyes going to my hand. “What happened to your hand?”
“I fell at work a couple days ago and broke my wrist,” I told her.
“Are you okay? Was the baby okay?”
“They’re both okay, Mom,” Roscoe assured her. “Why don’t we go into the living room and sit down?”
We all shuffled into the living room and had a seat. No sooner did the four of us get comfortable when I shared, “I hope you’ll forgive me for not saying anything to you sooner. I wanted to tell Roscoe first, so I waited until he was back from touring to share the news with him.”
“It’s alright, Sienna. We’re just really happy about getting this news at all,” Chris responded.
My gaze shifted to Roscoe’s, and I smiled at him. He returned the smile.
That when he shared a bit more news. “Sienna’s mom is putting together a baby shower,” he started, his attention mostly focused on his mom. “I’m sure you want to be involved in that. Addy just got the news about the pregnancy on Sunday, so she’s been in contact with Debbie.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. I’ll reach out to Debbie today and see what I can help with,” she stated. “Now, are there any other parties we can talk about planning?”
“Well, I mean, I’m sure Sienna is going to want to take the lead on the baby’s first birthday,” Roscoe reasoned.
Kim shook her head with disappointment as Chris clarified, “That’s not the kind of party she was talking about.”
Oh boy.
Roscoe hadn’t been kidding when he said they’d have other expectations that would lead to disappointment. I immediately knew what they were referring to, but Roscoe didn’t.
“What kind of party are you talking about?”
“Well, a baby shower is being planned, but I don’t see a ring on Sienna’s finger,” Kim noted.
“Mom…” Roscoe trailed off. I could tell he was struggling with how to let his mom down gently. Not wanting him to feel that burden so heavily, especially after everything he’d been doing for me, I decided to take charge.
“Kim?” I called.
Her eyes slid to mine. “Yes?”
“Roscoe and I are not dating,” I told her. “We did not plan this pregnancy, but it happened. We’re both very happy about the baby and the pregnancy, and we’re doing what we have to do to make sure that we can be good parents. This baby is our number one priority.”
“You’re… you’re not together?” she stammered, clearly in disbelief.
I shook my head.
Immediately, her attention went back to her son. “I sure hope this isn’t about you needing to make sure you can still go out and have your fun,” she advised.
Kim was not hiding her frustration.
“It’s not,” Roscoe replied. “But it’s like Sienna said. We didn’t plan for this to happen. We’re doing the best we can in this situation, and we’d love for you to be able to celebrate and be happy about what is happening.”
Her head moved back and forth. “I don’t understand,” she murmured.
“Kim,” Chris said, putting his hand on her arm.
“What?”
“Let it go,” he recommended gently.
She shook her head. “This is him,” she told her husband. “We’ve known Sienna for years, and I have no doubt she would want to be married, if not at least in a relationship.”
Oh God. This was worse than I thought. Of course, I thought that because I promised Roscoe that I would do what I could to help let his parents down gently, but the truth was that she wasn’t wrong in anything she was saying. She’d known me for years, so it was no surprise she knew that I wouldn’t have gone out and decided to get pregnant by the one man who’d never want to marry me.
“Mom—” Roscoe started before I put my hand on his arm and squeezed. I could feel him shift his attention to me, but I ignored him.
With my focus on Kim, I said, “Kim, I love you, and I love your family. But I promise you
that Roscoe and I have talked about this. We’re not going to be a couple, but we really want to be great parents together. Right now, that’s what is best for everyone. We’re not going to get married because we’re not in love. And a nasty divorce years down the road would do more damage to this baby than having two parents who might not be married but get along and respect one another.”
She took that in and sighed. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “When you both become parents, you might understand what I’m feeling. No matter what, you always want the best for your kids. And I guess it just hurts sometimes when what you believe is best for them isn’t what they want.”
“We didn’t mean to upset you, Mom,” Roscoe told her.
She nodded slowly and rasped, “I know. If you’re both happy, then I’m happy for you.”
I wanted to cry. Because even though I was genuinely happy that Roscoe and I had made it to this place, what Kim wanted for us was something I had wanted, too. It was truly devastating to know that Roscoe would never want it.
“We’re very happy,” Roscoe assured her, placing his hand on top of mine that was still resting on top of his forearm.
Tears filled Kim’s eyes. “My boy is going to be a daddy,” she croaked, but she did it with a sense of pride in her voice.
Clearly, she never thought this was going to happen. Chris put his arm around his wife and offered her some comfort.
A few seconds later, she took in a deep breath and said, “Alright. So, tell me everything I need to know about the baby. You said the due date is October sixteenth?”
And just like that, we salvaged the meeting with Roscoe’s parents. I hated that Kim was so upset about the state of the relationship between Roscoe and me, but before she left, she was in great spirits. And I tried, as I always did, to look on the bright side. Not that I ever expected it would happen, but it was nice to know that if some miracle had happened and Roscoe changed his mind about a relationship with me, I would likely be welcomed into the family with open arms.
That helped put a smile on my face.