“Okay. Eff the rules!”
“That’s the spirit! And take this. It’s my extra stun gun. If Tommy tries to mess with you, shock his ass, then kick him in the balls a few times and call the police. He can’t make you talk to him if you don’t want to. Oh! The grocery lists for the old people are on the coffee table at home. You can do a few of them today. Since I’m working for Everett after school, I have to cut back on my hours. I don’t want to burn out, right?”
“Oh yeah, totally.” I took the stun gun delicately. I didn’t want to shock myself.
“Don’t be scared of it, Willa. It’s easy to use. Just push that button, then zap! I tested it on myself.” She shook her head. “I don’t recommend that, by the way.”
Fighting back laughter, I put the stun gun in my purse. “Can I please wipe that racoon eye liner off?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I’m not ready to be strong without it. Like Dumbo’s feather, you know? Plus, it looks cool. Every time I catch a glimpse of myself, I remember I’m brave, and I can to anything I want. Do whatever it takes, Willa. You’re strong inside. Let it out, okay? When I first got here, you seemed like such a smart-ass, tough girl. But you’re really not. You just pretend you are to keep people away. Like Everett.”
I was taken aback. “How did you get so observant?”
“Clara’s had me going to therapy since I was ten. I learned a lot from my shrink. Plus, I think it’s innate. I’m just nosy.” She shrugged.
“I love you, Gracie.”
“I love you, too. But I have to tell you one more thing. I’m sorry, Willa.”
“What for? You haven’t done anything wrong. At least not so far today,” I teased.
“Sometimes the way I say things is mean. It’s not always about something specific I’ve said, it’s my tone. My therapist said I need to apologize every time I realize I’ve done it. I have anger, Willa. Loads of it—at Daddy for leavin’, at Momma, and I used to be angry with you too. But I’m not anymore. I know you now. You aren’t like Sadie, Clara, and me. You don’t close your heart and ignore all the shit Momma says. All her words go inside of you and you keep them there. The hurt feelings stay with you, and they never turn to anger so you can let them go. The only way you knew how to get away from it was to leave. You should really learn to get pissed, instead of letting her hurt you, or letting Tommy. And it’s okay to cry while being pissed off, even I do it sometimes. You should see Sadie yellin’ at Momma, tears and snot flying everywhere. But the point is, she doesn’t take her shit. Also, I’m sorry about last night when I said your head was up your butt about Everett. That was uncalled for.”
“It’s okay, Gracie, I forgive you. Because I know you now too. Maybe I should go to your therapist. Maybe it would help me figure out why I can stand up for myself if it’s someone I don’t know, like when I’m at Genie’s working and some dumbass hits on me, but I couldn’t with Momma or Tommy.”
“Well, at Genie’s they’re mostly strangers. You don’t have to care what they think. You want Momma to love you. Same with Tommy, before the divorce. My therapist helps me. He lets me drone on and on and then he’ll say one thing and then all of a sudden, I understand my feelings.” She studied my face. “I’ll text Clara about it from school. I don’t want you to change your mind.”
“Okay, that’s probably a good idea.” I laughed. “Bye, Gracie.” I could use therapy. I was at least five kinds of crazy.
“Bye.” With a huge smile, she got out of Everett’s Bronco and headed toward the Green Valley High entrance to start her day. I was off to Daisy’s Nut House for doughnuts, then to Everett’s shop to give him breakfast for a change before I made my way to deliver groceries to senior citizens and hang around the Pizza Hut parking lot for delivery requests. I had money to make, a divorce attorney to pay off, and a life to reclaim—to reclaim by staying and fighting for it, not by running away. I took a glance at myself in the rearview mirror before I drove off. Burgundy lips, huh? Outside reminders of courage before I had them on the inside. Maybe Gracie was onto something. Maybe I really would make an appointment with her therapist.
I remembered last night with Everett. And the things I had told him about Momma and Tommy. Gracie had a point about how I never let their words go. I never let anything go, and the burden was heavy.
Telling Everett about my baby last night was the best thing I had ever done. It lightened my heart. I never realized how much my grief had been weighing me down, too heavy to carry on my own. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else, and I might never be, but sharing her with Everett made her feel real again. It made all the difference in my perspective. I felt like I could grieve for her properly now. I would never stop wondering “What if?” and I would never forget her. But I finally felt like my heart could start to heal enough for her to live there with less pain.
I stood in the entrance to Everett’s shop, box of doughnuts in hand. I had stopped there at the sound of clattering dice dropping onto the huge gaming table in the rear of the shop. Everett sat at the table’s head in a heavy wooden chair with his back to the propped open door. He was DMing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Silently, I stepped inside and slipped into a chair near the front so I could listen. Garrett, Weston—Sabrina’s nephew, who should be in school with Gracie right now—along with what looked like a few of Weston’s friends, were the players. As DM, or dungeon master, Everett would set the scene, and act as the lead storyteller, as well as make sure everyone followed the rules.
“You are Ashe Redgrove,” Everett began, addressing Garrett. “A young wood-elf paladin, tasked with scouting the location of Faye, the lost queen of the mermaids. She is marked by scars and tattooed on one arm to designate her station. If the rumors are true, she now resides in hiding from her king, near the rocky cliffs of the Emerald Sea. She bides her time, waiting to reclaim her power and her throne. Everyone in your village knows she is dangerous, wily, and intelligent. But she is also delicate and untrusting; she is a broken creature, and beyond beautiful. With long winding pale blond locks, eyes as blue as the sky and deeper than the sea she inhabits, you will find it hard to do anything other than her bidding. Once you have secured her location, a party will be dispatched to rescue her and return her to her people for a great reward—” I let out a loud sigh as he spoke and as I leaned forward over the table to rest my chin in my hands, my chair squeaked out a huge fart sound over the wood floor. But I didn’t even flipping care. He made me a mermaid. I was a freaking fantasy mermaid queen for crap’s sake. Is this what a swoon felt like?
Garrett’s head shifted to mine and a wide grin crossed his face. “Well, hello there, mermaid queen.”
Everett almost fell out of his chair and I almost swooned for real when he turned around to look at me. A blush rose over his cheeks above his beard as he grinned. He was sexy—adorable and hot—and so sweet I couldn’t stand it. Then his head dipped forward as he looked at me through the fall of his hair, with raised eyebrows, and hot eyes, and I swear, my heart stopped.
“Hey, Willa!” Weston greeted me with a huge smile. He was always such a good little boy. I couldn’t believe how much he had grown. He’d gone from the sweet-faced boy I knew to Green Valley High’s star quarterback. “Let’s go, guys. Game is over for now, right Everett?” The boys got up and followed Weston, who clearly knew what was up. I offered them doughnuts as they left.
“Well, this paladin is clearly not the one to do the rescuing today. Later.” Garrett snagged a doughnut on his way out. I stood up and joined Everett at his table.
“I brought doughnuts,” I said. My eyes were full of sparkles and glorious dreams and I didn’t know who I was anymore because for the moment, I had lost my angsty edge.
“Thank you, Willard.” He took the outstretched box from my hands and set it on the table.
“You’re welcome.” My eyes drifted away from his to the carved wooden mini figures distributed over the game map spread across the table. The mermaid caught my attention. My eyes dar
ted to Everett as he swept it into his hand before I could get a good look. “Let me see?” I reached out to take his closed fist with both hands. With a sheepish grin, he relaxed his palm in my grip, sending shivers up and down my spine at the feel of our fingers brushing against each other. The mermaid was delicate, painted with white blond hair and blue eyes. Her tiny tattoo was identical to mine and she had my face. My eyes slid to his as my heart melted in my chest and the shivers turned into a burning need. This man—how was he real?
“You’ve been on my mind—” His voice came out in a soft growl as his eyes blazed into mine.
Goodness gracious, holy crap, he did all kinds of things to me. Dirty things, sweet things, easy things, and things that got my mind filled with so many complicated thoughts that I was constantly spinning from one to another. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. My mouth opened but nothing came out but a soft, short moan.
“I wanted to ask you something.” He interrupted my embarrassing moan with what would probably be an irresistible question. Yes.
“Okay,” I murmured, lost in whatever it was he was about to say. He was totally dreamy right now, and me asking for time last night was stupid, stupid, stupid. I mean, we could be having sex on this gaming table right now if I hadn’t asked for time, dammit.
“Can I take you to dinner sometime? To the Front Porch, maybe?”
“Like, on a date?” A huge grin formed on my face before I could even attempt to hide my delight or play it cool.
“Yeah, a date.” He chuckled.
“You know what? I’ve never—” The pathetic truth stuck in my throat before I could get the words out. I was sorry I brought it up in the first place and shut my mouth.
“What?” he murmured with a sweet smile.
“I’ve never actually been on a real date—uh, me and Tommy just snuck around when I was young and then we got married. We didn’t really have date nights or anything like that. I should stop talking now.” I clammed up and stared at the table.
“You should always talk to me. I want to know about you, Willard.”
“There’s not much to know. And what there is to know is kind of pathetic.” I spoke to the top of the table because I couldn’t look at him.
“That’s not true. Here’s the thing with you—yes, you were dealt a shitty hand. But you’re about to play the hell out of it, aren’t you?”
My eyes shot to his. “What do you mean?”
“You’re taking your life back, is what I mean. And I’m glad. But I’m a selfish man. I want you too much to let you go while you do it. So, I’ve decided to go slow. And I think you need wooing.”
“Wooing?” My voice was a high squeak.
“You haven’t been properly wooed.” He smirked and leaned back in his chair. Flexing that huge bicep as he bent his arm to run a hand through that sexy long hair. I was fighting the urge to—basically, I was fighting whole bunch of urges right now. Number one being to crawl up that broad chest of his and kiss the hell out of him.
“I don’t know, Everett. I think you properly wooed me the other night. And who says wooing anymore?” The laugh that burst out of him was loud and the grin that crossed his face could light up the room. All this sexy goodness and he wanted to woo me? Yes, please. He could woo me all night long…
“So, do we have a date, sweetness?” he drawled.
Heck yes, we have a freaking date. “I think that can be arranged.”
“Perfect. We’ll make plans. Maybe I’ll call you tonight.” He winked at me and with that, I knew our date would be something I’d want to remember forever. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
My cheeks heated at my lame career trajectory. “Well, I’m going to park at the Pizza Hut for a few hours—”
His eyebrows shot up. “Gracie is giving it up? I saw it on her website. She gave me her card when I hired her.”
“For now. I’m also taking over her senior citizen grocery delivery thing, maybe mow a few lawns. She swears that I can make a few hundred a week doing her odd jobs. I want to pay off my attorney, Everett. It’s step two. The first step was getting the restraining order. I’ve also requested more hours from Aunt Genie at the bar. All of Gracie’s side gigs are something I can do immediately while I apply for a second job. I’m also considering working for my mother part time since Sadie will be leaving to work for your dad.”
His eyes crinkle smiled as he gazed at me. “I’m—is it condescending if I tell you I’m proud of you?”
“No, not all.” An involuntary smile crossed my face. “I’ll take it as a compliment. I have to get going. I’ll see you tonight?” I stood up to leave but turned back at the sound of his boots hitting the floor as he sat forward.
“Uh, uh, not yet. I’m going to kiss you goodbye.” He reached for me as he spoke. Big hands spanned my waist, giving me a tug. My knees landed between his legs on the chair, while my hands slid up his hard chest to drift into his hair. His lips brushed against mine as he whispered, “I’m gonna make you mine, sweetheart. But the difference from what you knew before and now is that you’ll be yours first.” His eyes held mine and I couldn’t look away. Just then I realized that when Everett looked at me, I didn’t lose myself in him. When I was with him, I was free to be myself. I could say whatever I needed to say, and he would listen. And wasn’t that just like a dream come true?
He kissed me goodbye—softly, slowly, sweetly. It was a kiss that didn’t claim; it gave, and I wanted to be strong enough to give it back.
Chapter Twenty-One
Everett
“Absence is to love what wind is to fire. If it isn’t love, the flame dies.
If it is love, get ready for an inferno”.
Papaw Joe
Willa was now in the business of self-improvement. She wanted to heal, grow and be independent. And since all I wanted was her, I was now in the business of waiting. Time trudged on as I took a giant step back to give her the distance she had asked for. I never let on that I was dying to touch her, or kiss her, or just hold her. I had the feeling that it would be easy to convince her to drop everything and be with me. Our chemistry was still there every time we were near each other. Half of me wanted to just take what I wanted, but the better half wanted to give her what she needed.
We had gone back to dine and dash breakfasts, complete with subtext filled small talk and flirty looks. Back to her checking me out with hot eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking—but the trouble for her was that I was always looking. She took every available hour she could get at Genie’s; and since Gracie had started working for me after school, Willa had taken her place hanging out at the Pizza Hut in town, delivering pizzas to whoever shot her a text, mowing lawns, babysitting, and delivering groceries to some of the home-bound senior citizens. All that plus working part time for her mother almost every morning and appointments with Gracie’s therapist every week meant that I hardly ever saw her. The positive aspect of her change in routine was that she seemed to feel better about herself. Her smiles were easy and genuine. And sometimes she was the one to make our morning coffee. I was happy for her, and proud, even though I was lonely. The only things to keep me going of late, were the quick goodbye pecks and soft smiles she’d give me whenever I happened to be around as she was leaving. It had been weeks of this. We hadn’t yet gone on our date, and I missed her. I worried constantly if she was getting enough sleep and taking care of herself. Her schedule was insane, and I feared she would burn out.
Taking control over her life was important to her. I let go of what I wanted so she could fly. Sure, this was Green Valley, Tennessee, and not some big fancy city, but independence was independence no matter where you were. Willa needed to see she could make it on her own. I could wait. For her, I would wait forever. Sure, there were a lot of other women in the world, but none of them were her.
The sun rose in the sky with bursts of orange and pink as I stood in Daisy’s Nut House, a box of doughnuts in my hand. My eyebrows raised in surprise when I
spotted Tommy through the window. He had been staying away from Willa; maybe the restraining order was actually a deterrent. Plus, from what Wyatt found out, Tommy’s father had put him to work and on a tight leash. He was working as a salesman, selling cars at one of his father’s lots in Merryville. It had to burn that he couldn’t be a cop anymore.
“Monroe,” he addressed me. I lifted my chin then turned to leave. He followed me to the parking lot. “I need to talk to you.” He stopped me with a hand on my arm. I shook him off with a glare. “I want you to give Willa a message. I can’t talk to her myself right now. I wrote her a letter—”
“Are you crazy? Take a hint, Ferris. The divorce and a restraining order are hint one and two.”
“I finally have some time off work and I need to talk to her.” That smarmy, slick smile was back on his face and I wanted to knock it through the back of his skull.
“Because talking to her worked so well for you last time? Why don’t you just give up? She doesn’t want you.” This fucking guy. He was the kind of guy who couldn’t take “no” for an answer and gave the rest of us a bad rap.
“I know you want her, Monroe,” he accused, as if he had a right to make a claim on her, as if they hadn’t been divorced for over two years. “I know you’re trying to take her away from me. We were married for almost a decade, man. One mistake isn’t enough to throw away an entire rela—”
“Are you serious?” I shouted, incredulous. “One mistake? You threw her through a god-damn window! And that doesn’t even begin to get into what you’ve—look, none of that matters. What I want doesn’t matter.” My fist pounded against my chest and I wished I could pound some sense into his thick skull instead. “What you want does not matter. But you’re too selfish to see that. I’m done. Stay away from her, Ferris. Don’t make me step in any more than I already am. You won’t like it.”
Carpentry and Cocktails: A Heartfelt Small Town Romance (Green Valley Library Book 5) Page 16