Robert landed one last punch and then Carter kicked him off of him. Robert flopped to his back, breathing hard as Carter laid beside him doing the same thing.
“Is…is that it?” I asked, a little surprised that it just ended like that.
Carter suddenly slammed his fist into Robert’s chest as he laid on the ground, and Robert returned his punch from the same prone position. Slowly, Robert got to his feet and held out his hand for Carter to take. As he turned toward the porch, Robert wiped the blood from his face, glancing down at the smear on his fist.
“So, it’s over?”
Kat walked up beside me and grinned. “Apparently, sometimes guys fight just to let off steam.”
My eyebrows shot up. “This has happened before?”
“Oh yeah. Eric has had at least two of these fights that I know of. It’s some kind of weird bonding thing men do. Watch, now they’re probably going to shake hands.”
I watched in fascination, waiting to see if it would really happen. Carter held out his hand to Robert, but Robert slugged him in the arm. Well, close enough.
“That wasn’t at all what I thought was going to happen.”
“Not bad, little brother,” Eric grinned, walking closer to the edge of the porch. “I thought for sure Carter could take you. A little out of shape?” he asked Carter.
He flipped him the bird and swiped at his own face. “He’s surprisingly fast. Of course, you would expect that from someone that runs away from his responsibilities,” Carter said, getting one more jab in.
“I would leave now if you don’t want to end up in a shallow grave,” Eric said threateningly. “You got your shots in, now get the fuck off my property.”
Carter gave a two finger salute and walked away, though his eyes lingered on me for just a moment. I sighed, thinking of what a waste that all was. If he hadn’t just been a total asshole, he would have been fun to date.
Robert
I walked up the steps of the porch and shoved straight past Anna, heading for the bathroom. I couldn’t look at her right now. I was still too pissed. Not at her. I could never be mad at her for what happened. But my anger was still simmering and I didn’t want to do or say anything to fuck things up between us.
Joe followed me into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, running it under the water. “I gotta say, that should have definitely ended up on the town Facebook page. If you were looking to outdo Kat and Eric, that would have taken the cake.”
He held the washcloth against my face and I snatched it away. “I don’t need your fucking help.”
“Really,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “Because it looks like you could use a lot of help right about now.”
“Then you should have intervened when he was kicking my ass.”
“Are you saying you couldn’t take him? Because it looked like you were doing alright for yourself.”
I tossed down the rag and pulled my tie off. The damn thing was strangling me. “If you want to help, leave me the fuck alone.”
“What I don’t get is why you didn’t tell any of us,” he continued.
I walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door in his face.
“Hey!” he shouted through the door. “I was talking to you!”
I ignored his dramatics and grabbed my keys off the table. Fuck dinner. I really didn’t want to be here right now.
“Whoa,” Eric laughed slightly as he stepped in front of me. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m getting the fuck out of here.”
“You’re going to drop a bomb on us like that and then leave?”
“Here’s a hint, I didn’t drop the bomb, so I can leave whenever the fuck I want.”
“That’s not a hint,” Eric pointed out. “That’s just being rude. Don’t you think you should stay considering…” He jerked his head in Anna’s direction. She was sitting at the kitchen table with Kat looking a little shell-shocked.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Anna doesn’t fucking like me. Now you know why. Are you still happy you invited her to dinner?”
“Well, if you had just been upfront with us, there wouldn’t be this big secret hanging in the air.”
“Look, what happened with Anna and me is none of your business-“
“He’s right,” Anna said. “You should have told your family.”
“Excuse me?” I said incredulously. “I did that to protect you.”
“Really? Because if you were trying to protect me, you never would have left.”
“So, you wanted everyone in my family knowing that I knocked you up and then suggested we give our kid up for adoption?”
Will leaned back on his heels and grimaced. “Yeah, this is getting a little uncomfortable.”
“Better they know what really happened than to find out all these years later. Maybe someone would have actually been there to support me when I got back!”
I shook my head and chuckled. “You could have called me. You could have said something at any time, but you didn’t.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I didn’t realize that when the girlfriend gets sent away that she’s responsible for reaching out to the douchebag ex when she gets back. Is that the way we’re playing this?”
“Don’t put this all on me. You were there with me every single fucking time we snuck out. Don’t act like you’re innocent.”
“You sent me away and never contacted me again! What the hell was I supposed to think?”
I spread my arms wide, showing her all of me. “What the hell do you want from me, Anna? It was thirteen years ago and you still can’t forgive me.”
“Because you never gave me a choice! Everything was decided for me.”
“Did you want to keep the baby?” I asked, knowing she didn’t.
“No, we weren’t ready.”
“Then what the fuck are you so upset about?”
“You never discussed our options with me. You made the decision with your parents and then laid it out for me. Nobody was worried about what I wanted.”
I scoffed. “You just said you didn’t want to keep the baby.”
“That doesn’t mean that I wanted to be told what to do! I was seventeen and I was scared. You made a plan and just left me.”
“I can’t believe Ma knew about this and didn’t say anything,” Will muttered. “How did she manage to keep this a secret?”
“She didn’t want the golden boy to look bad,” Anna sneered.
“You fucking know that’s not true. Eric’s the golden boy.”
“Hey-“
“It’s true,” I said, shooting him an irritated look. “You know you’re Ma’s favorite.”
“Well, yeah, but you don’t have to point it out so much,” Eric grumbled.
“Were you two always like this?” Andrew asked. “Because I don’t remember the two of you having so much animosity for each other.”
“So, this is why you’ve been so hostile toward me since you started your job?” Eric asked Anna.
“No, you just rubbed me the wrong way,” she shot back.
“Me? You threw a coffee mug at my face. And a donut!”
“At the same time?” Joe asked. “Which one hit you?”
Eric shook his head, his hands on his hips. “Christ, you could have just told us. Especially after I got Kat pregnant. Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”
“It’s not just my secret,” I said, looking at Anna. “Believe it or not, I thought I was protecting you by walking away. I can see now that I didn’t help, but it was never my intention to just walk away and forget you. I just thought you were better off without me. I got you in that situation.”
Kat snorted. “Now, that’s just ridiculous. Come on, just because we have vaginas doesn’t mean that we’re innocent.”
“And I never asked you to protect me,” Anna snapped.
I leaned in closer to Anna, lowering my voice. “Anna, you aren’t the sam
e girl you were back then. You’re strong now, but back then, you were scared and innocent.”
“You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore, Robert. That was then and this is now. You never should have fought Carter. You knew he was baiting you.”
“And you never should have brought him to my brother’s house to begin with. You fucking knew what would happen, and you did it anyway. Maybe I fucked up back then, but tonight is on you,” I snapped.
“You know what?”
“No, what, Anna?”
“Fuck you. I didn’t ask to come here tonight. I got wrapped up in some twisted revenge plot between you and your brother. But that’s fine. I don’t need to see you ever again.”
“You’re not quitting, are you?” Eric asked, his voice panicked. “I can’t find another secretary.”
“Office manager,” Anna snapped.
Eric ran his hand through his hair and started pacing, his right eye twitching out of control. “Oh, God, I’m going to have to put an ad in the paper. Mrs. Cranston is going to answer and she’ll bake pie to try and get me to hire her.” He spun and grabbed Anna by the arms. “You can’t leave me! I can’t deal with Mrs. Cranston on my own!”
Anna struggled to get out of his arms. “Relax, I’m not quitting my job. I just meant that I don’t have to see him again,” she said, jerking her head in my direction. “Besides, why would I walk out when I have such great entertainment whenever Mrs. Cranston calls?”
“So…you’re not leaving?”
“Great,” I spat before I could think better of it. “Then you can go on your way. There’s no reason for you to be here anymore.”
The look of shock and hurt on her face made me instantly regret my words. I knew she didn’t have family to be with, yet I just kicked her out. And it wasn’t even that I didn’t want to see her. I always wanted to see her. I just couldn’t handle seeing her, knowing that she hated me so much. I had let her down, and it killed me to see that reminder around every corner.
For the first time since I’d seen Anna again, she ducked her head and hid her face from me, trying to hide her hurt from me. She grabbed her coat and purse, snatched my keys off the table, and ran out the door, stopping only on the porch to put on her coat.
“Way to go, asshole,” Eric said, punching me in the shoulder.
“Fuck.” I ran my hand over my head, cringing as I replayed those words in my head.
“You’re such an asshole. If she wasn’t sure if you ever loved her before, she knows now that you never did.”
I spun and glared at Will. “I fucking love her. I never stopped. I just can’t look at her and know that I fucked up her life while I’m living my fancy life in the city.”
“Well, you did an excellent job in portraying that guilt to her,” Andrew said. “I totally believe that you still love her and feel guilty.”
“I especially liked the part where she looked heartbroken and ready to cry,” Joe added. “That was a nice touch.”
“Why are you still standing here?” Kat asked.
“Because she doesn’t want me!”
“Of course she does, you big idiot! But you have to prove yourself to her again. You have to show her that you’re still the man she loved.”
“If I go after her, she’s gonna kick me in the balls.”
“And if you don’t go after her, she’s gonna kick me in the balls on Monday,” Eric glared.
Anna
I stormed out of Eric’s house and got in Robert’s car. I knew I shouldn’t just take it, but my ride was gone, and this was my only chance for a quick getaway. I saw Robert run out after me in the rearview mirror, but I was done. Whatever that bullshit was in there, I wasn’t playing along. I tore out of the driveway, noticing headlights following me down the road. I pushed it faster, needing to get home and inside before he caught up to me. I sped the entire way home and pulled into my drive, jumping out and running up to my door.
As if the gods were playing a trick on me, my key wouldn’t turn in the damn keyhole and then I couldn’t get it open. His brother’s truck pulled up fast as I struggled to get the damn door open.
“Fuck!” I shouted, slamming my hip into the door.
“Anna!” Robert shouted, running toward me.
“Go away,” I said, still struggling with the door.
He ran up the steps just as I slammed my hip against the door one more time and it swung open, catapulting me inside. Robert was right behind me, his hands on my hips as he caught me from flying to the ground. Then he was spinning me around and smashing his lips to mine. I struggled against him, pushing at him, wanting him away from me more than anything. I hated him. I hated what he did to me.
He pulled me tighter and kissed me harder. Memories of the two of us swirled in my mind, our walks together, him sneaking across the field in the middle of the night to sneak me out, laying under the stars with him…
I started kissing him back, slipping my tongue in his mouth as I threaded my fingers through his hair. He kicked the door shut and lifted me up, pulling my legs around his waist. He tore at the zipper on my dress, peeling it down my body as he continued to kiss me. I yanked at the buttons of his shirt, tearing at it until it opened for me. Something wild took over me and I needed him more than anything.
He carried me down the short hall to my bedroom and tossed me down on the bed. My dress was bunched around my waist and my heels were still firmly on my feet. He yanked off his shirt and tore his undershirt over his head. I stared at him as he stripped off his pants. He had a well defined upper body, muscular arms, and the most delicious line of hair that trailed down from his belly button down under his boxers. When he stripped off his underwear, my eyes practically popped out of my head. Had he always been that big? Had I missed it before?
He grabbed my ankle and yanked me forward, pulling my dress the rest of the way off, and then he was on top of me, kissing me hard. I felt him at my entrance and then he pushed inside in one violent thrust. I gasped, my eyes bulging as I took him in. My hands gripped his shoulders tightly as I tried to adjust to his size. Tears pricked my eyes as I took deep breaths.
“Anna?”
“Just give me a minute,” I croaked out. God, I hadn’t imagined it going like this. I hadn’t imagined this happening at all.
His hand cupped my face and he stared into my eyes. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, soothing the pain and ache I felt inside. And then he was moving, slowly thrusting his hips against me as he moved in and out of me. My eyes slid shut as I remembered what it felt like to be with him. This was so much better and so much worse in many ways.
He was more experienced now, but when I slept with him back then, I had loved him and trusted him. Everything felt different now. I was confused, and even though I wanted him, it was all wrong at the same time. But just as I was starting to think this was a really bad idea, he slid his lips across my cheek and whispered in my ear, “I still love you, Anna. I still need you.”
Something inside me shattered and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him in closer. I didn’t know what would happen in the future, but right now, this felt right, being in his arms again. It felt like all the years that passed suddenly didn’t matter. This was always where I was meant to be.
He laid down on top of me, thrusting in harder and harder as our slick bodies slid against each other. I felt him grinding against my clit, pushing me over the edge as he came shuttering with me. He pulled me tight against him and held me as he ran his fingers through my hair. My breathing slowed as he ran his hand slowly up and down my back.
I felt him sigh against my hair and then he flopped back on the bed. “I didn’t use a condom.”
“I’m on the pill.”
“I’m sorry. After everything we’ve been through, I should have been paying attention.”
There was nothing to say. It was done. Part of me wondered what would happen if I ended up pregnant again. It wasn’t very likely, but would he run from me again? Woul
d he pretend like we meant nothing to him? I wasn’t the same girl I was back then. What happened between us changed me. Back then, I felt like I was pushed into doing something that everyone else wanted instead of what I wanted. That wouldn’t happen again. I would be smarter this time. I would make sure that whatever happened between Robert and I, having a baby would be out of the question.
He held me close to him, even though I was feeling like I needed space. I was lost. I had just slept with a man that I never thought I would be with again. I needed to get out of here. No, I needed him to get out of my space. This was all too much for me.
I rolled away from him and stood, crossing my arms over my chest. “You should go.”
He leaned up on one elbow and looked at me in confusion. His hair was flopping down in his face. Obviously the gel had worn out. “Go?”
“This shouldn’t have happened.”
He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. “How can you say that? After everything, you wish that I was gone?”
I looked away. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I wasn’t ready for this. “Look, we were angry at dinner and a lot was brought up. What just happened was-“
“Perfect,” he interrupted. He took my hand in his and pulled me in between his legs. “Don’t kick me out. I just want to hold you again. Just tonight.”
Against my better judgement, I crawled back into bed with him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me like he would never let me go. It felt right. I felt loved. I would allow it for tonight, but only tonight. In the morning, reality would come crashing down and we would both realize what a mistake this all was.
I woke to Robert’s arms wrapped tight around me. I smiled to myself, but then suddenly remembered why things had gone so wrong between us. He had abandoned me. He left me to deal with the fallout of having a child all on my own. How was I supposed to forgive that? While he went off to school and got to experience things every teenager got to, I was in my aunt’s house, constantly being told what a disappointment I was. I was forced to go to church where people shot me nasty looks and prayed for my soul. They said I deserved it, that I needed to repent and pray that God would forgive me for what I had done. It had almost been a relief to come home when my mother died.
Collateral Damage: A Small Town Romance Page 9