She was being so dramatic. She was wearing a pair of skinny black pants that cut off just at her ankle with a pale pink blouse and a blazer that had the sleeves rolled up. To top it off, she had a pair of black heels that I could imagine wrapping around my body later tonight. But she didn’t like any of it, even though she looked classy.
“You look great,” I said, steering for a more neutral tone.
She looked down at herself and sighed. “I guess one outfit won’t hurt, but I’m done shopping.”
“Thank God,” I muttered under my breath.
“What?” she snapped. “This was your idea. I never wanted to go shopping and buy these clothes.”
“Most women would love to go shopping.”
“I’m not most women.”
“I can see that,” I said testily.
She slowly walked up to me, her heels clicking on the tile as she sauntered up to me. In truth, the clicking of her heels, the sassy look on her face, and that damn outfit had me hardening with every step she took. It was a shame that the dressing rooms were only curtained off. I would have taken her back there and fucked right up against the wall, other shoppers be damned.
“Don’t push me, Robert. This isn’t me. Don’t try to make me into something I’m not.”
I glared back at her, even though I really wanted to grab her hair and pull her in for a kiss. She definitely wasn’t the girl I used to know. That shy, timid girl was long gone, and in her place, a woman with so much attitude that I would almost think they were two entirely different people. But I liked this version of her. The old us, we were kids with no idea about life or who we really wanted to be. The woman in front of me knew exactly who she was and what she would put up with. It was so hot.
I stepped into her, slipping my hand behind her head as my nose brushed against her cheek. I let my breath fan across her skin before murmuring in her ear. “I know exactly who you are, and I’m not trying to change you. Just get the damn outfit so we can go home and I can fuck you.”
I felt her shiver against me and I held her to me, not wanting to let go of the moment just yet. When I stepped away, I could see the desire in her eyes, I could feel the heat between us. Screw getting dinner. I just wanted her at home with me.
“Go get changed.”
When she turned around, I slapped her ass, laughing as she yelped and covered her ass with her hands, glaring at me before looking around to see if anyone saw. What I didn’t expect was for her to come stomping out of the changing room without the clothes and a huge scowl on her face.
“Where are the clothes?”
“Do you know how much they cost?” she hissed. “There’s no way I’m spending that much money on those clothes. And those shoes were almost three hundred dollars!”
“It’s fine. I’m paying for it.”
Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head. “I don’t want you to buy them for me. I don’t need clothes that expensive, and more than that, I don’t want them!”
“It’s for one lunch,” I sighed. “Can we please just get them so we can move on?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. I knew she didn’t like the clothes, but it was for one fucking lunch.
“Look, this is part of the job. You know it’s temporary. And you can wear the same fucking thing if she calls you again.”
“Fine,” she snapped. She walked back and grabbed the clothes, tossing them in my arms. “I’ll be outside.”
I unlocked the door to the apartment and shoved it open, allowing her to walk in ahead of me. I didn’t have time for this kind of drama. I tossed my keys on the counter and set her clothes and shoes down on the couch. Walking over to the kitchen, I pulled open a drawer that held all the takeout menus.
“What are you doing?” she asked, standing in the living room, arms crossed over her chest.
“I’m ordering dinner,” I said tiredly. “Unless you didn’t want to eat tonight.”
“Why did you take me shopping, Robert?”
I slammed the drawer closed and turned to her, leaning back against the counter. “Oh, I don’t know, because you’re going to a fancy restaurant tomorrow and I wanted you to have something nice to wear.”
She didn’t say anything, but I could see the storm brewing in her eyes. “I told you that I don’t like wearing that kind of stuff.”
“I’m not the one that invited you to lunch, nor did I choose the restaurant. You agreed to this. You signed a contract with the firm to work on this case. I didn’t ask you to do that!”
“No, it was just a stipulation if you wanted the case,” she spat. “I never wanted any of this.”
“What do you want?” I pushed. “Just tell me what the hell it is that you do want.”
She laughed humorlessly. “I just want to go back to my job.”
“Then why did you sign that contract? I would have found another way to secure her as a client.”
“She made it pretty damn clear that I had to be part of it.”
“So, you’re pissed at me? Did you want me to step in and tell you not to do it?”
“I just-“
“What? Just tell me what the fuck the problem is!”
“I don’t want to be pushed into doing something!” she shouted back. “I already did that once and I hated myself for it.”
I huffed out a laugh, dropping my gaze to the ground. It was a never-ending cycle between us. “What more do you want me to say, Anna? I’ve apologized to you for how that happened. I would go back and change it if I could, but I can’t. I’m trying to make up for that now.”
“By buying me expensive clothes and keeping me here in your fancy apartment?”
“Jesus, are you going to punish me for the rest of my life for having nice things, for going to a good school and getting an education? Is that the way this is always going to be between us?”
“I’m trying,” she cried.
“No, you’re punishing me for the mistakes I made thirteen years ago. You keep saying that you’ve let this go, that you’ve moved on. You just fucking told me that, but when I try and buy you one fucking outfit to wear to a lunch, you flip out and act like I’m changing your life.”
“You’re changing who I am! You don’t like who I am now. I can see it in your eyes. When you walk into my trailer, you look at me and you see trash. When you look at my clothes, you see someone that’s not good enough for you.”
I tilted my head to the side and sighed. “Is that what you think? You think I think you’re beneath me or something?” Now that I knew what the issue was, I could work with her on this. “Anna, when I look at you in that trailer or in your crappy car, I don’t see someone that’s less than me. I see how much I let you down. I see how I went off and got everything I ever wanted while I left you behind to do it all on your own. I feel like shit because I didn’t take care of you like I promised I would. Me buying you those clothes isn’t me trying to change you. I just don’t want you walking into that restaurant and having people staring at you.”
“You don’t know that people would,” she said.
“Yes, I do. This is the world I live in. I know exactly how these people look down on anyone that’s not up to their standards. Do you think I want that for you? I know you’d be more comfortable at a different restaurant, but this is what Rebecca wants and you don’t really have a say in it. So, I can buy you something so that the vultures don’t circle as soon as you walk in there. So, you sit there and have lunch with Rebecca and then you never have to wear that outfit again.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and refused to look at me. I walked up to her and gripped her chin between my thumb and finger, bringing her gaze to meet mine.
“You could wear a sack and I would still love you. I never stopped. But if you can’t see that, if all you can see is the difference in money, that’s an issue you have to deal with.”
I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then headed into the bedroom. I didn’t care about dinner.
I just wanted this day to be over. I took a shower and hung up my suit to be taken to the dry cleaners, then climbed into bed and shut off the light. I was almost asleep when I felt her slip into bed and curl herself around me. I grasped her hand in mine and drifted off to sleep.
Anna
Robert was gone before I was up the next morning. He forgave me in a way when I came to bed. He took my hand in his and pulled me tighter. I guess that was something. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. What had me so upset yesterday was a combination of feeling pushed into going to this lunch and feeling like I just wasn’t good enough for him. Those were my feelings, and I had to get over them. I knew Robert didn’t see me that way, but I did feel inadequate, no matter how much I tried to tell myself differently.
And when the limo showed up outside Robert’s apartment, I was suddenly very grateful that he had taken me shopping. Had I gone in my jeans and blouse, I would have felt extremely out of place. When the driver came around to my side once we reached the restaurant, my nerves were already flying off the charts. When he opened the door and I looked up at the front of the building, they kicked into overdrive.
Mustering all the confidence I had, I took a deep breath and pulled my shoulders back, doing my best to appear like I belonged here. I thanked the woman that took my coat and checked my outfit one last time as I gave the name of the reservation. Surprisingly, no one looked at me strangely as I walked through the restaurant. I was going to have to give Robert a big thank you for helping me out with this outfit.
I smiled at Rebecca as I took the seat across from her. She was eyeing my outfit with amusement.
“What? Did I put this together wrong?”
“No, you look fabulous. I just didn’t expect you to show up in that.”
“Well, Robert convinced me I needed it. I gave him hell for it, but now I think I need to thank him.”
She waved me off. “Don’t worry about all these people. They may gossip about you, but you’ll never have to see any of them again. Besides, I get the feeling that you really don’t care what they think anyway.”
“Honestly, this isn’t my scene.”
“I know, but they have excellent food,” she grinned.
“So, what’s good?”
“Pretty much anything you order. So, why don’t you explain to me why a man like Robert would put a fake diamond on your hand.”
Startled, I glanced down at my hand and resisted the urge to curl my hand and hide it from her. I smiled tightly and told a lie. “Robert gave me this when we were kids. Call it nostalgia. I didn’t want to give it up.”
“You really are very different than someone I would have pictured him with. I have to say, it’s really refreshing to talk to anyone that doesn’t only see dollar signs. But then again, in my divorce, that’s all I’m looking at,” she whispered.
“Yes, but rightfully so. I would be angry also if my husband was doing what yours is.”
She sighed and placed her menu down on the table. “I have no one to talk to about this. That’s why I called you. All of my friends…well, let’s just say that I don’t actually have any friends. I have acquaintances, and if they found out about my plans, the gossip mills would be churning.”
“Maybe the move will be good for you then,” I said, glancing around to make sure no one was close enough to hear. “Maybe you could move and find some real friends.”
“What’s it like?” she asked, leaning forward.
“To have friends?”
“No,” she shook her head. “To live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else.”
“Uh…” I thought about that for a moment, trying to decide what to tell her. “When I was growing up, it felt like hell. Everyone knew that my mother was a drunk. We didn’t have a lot of money, so it was pretty obvious that I was the poor kid based on the way I dressed.”
“And Robert didn’t care,” she said with a smile.
I shook my head. “He was my best friend. But life is different at that age. You don’t look at all the different angles in life. You only see what’s right in front of you.”
“What happened between the two of you?”
“Life happened,” I said evasively. I didn’t know this woman, and as much as I wanted to trust her, I knew I couldn’t. I barely knew her. And Robert wouldn’t appreciate me telling all this to a client. She didn’t pry any further, just smiled at me. The waiter came by to take our orders, and when he left, I finished my story. “He went off to college and I…stayed behind. It turned out that we were just too different. Or maybe we both knew that things wouldn’t turn out the way we planned.”
“And what makes this time different?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve seen Robert. He dresses for the job. He has a nice apartment in the city, which doesn’t come cheap, and he drives a really nice sports car. And you don’t seem to care about any of that.”
“Is it that obvious?” I asked.
“I wish I could say that you’ll make it this time, but the only advice I can give is to use caution. Trust me, it sucks when you realize that the life you’ve built isn’t going to work the way you planned.”
“So, you’re saying I should plan for the inevitable.”
She leaned forward, resting one elbow on the table. “I’m saying, look at what your life will look like if you go through with your wedding. If you like the way it will look, if that will make you happy, then go for it. But if you think you won’t be happy, then don’t do it. Money can’t fix the differences between you two.”
I nodded, understanding completely what she was saying. It was something I had thought about constantly since Robert and I decided to try again. It was great to have him in my life again, but I couldn’t wrap my head around all this. Deep down, I knew that I would never fit into his life, and I wasn’t sure that he would ever consider giving up his fancy lifestyle for me. Things would come crashing down and I would lose him again, and I knew I wouldn’t recover from that.
I was still wearing the same outfit I had worn to lunch when Robert walked through the door later that night. I had been pacing around the apartment, biting my nails as I thought over my conversation with Rebecca.
“Hey, what’s going on? How was lunch?” Robert asked, walking up to me cautiously.
“It was…interesting.”
“Interesting. In what way?”
“Just…there were things she said that made me think about us.”
His brows furrowed and he forced a laugh. “Like, you’re thinking that we shouldn’t get married right now?”
I stared at him, shrugging slightly. “Are we doing the right thing?”
“What do you mean? We’re dating. The whole engagement thing is just a scam.”
“I know, but are we fooling ourselves into thinking that this could work between us?”
“You know, it sounds to me like you already have one foot out the door.”
“I just don’t see how this could possibly work between us. What would life look like for us if we continue to see each other? You work in the city and I work an hour away from here.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into him. “Hey, where is this all coming from? Anna, I have no clue what will happen in the next few weeks, let alone the next twenty years. But I know that I’ve missed you over the years. There wasn’t a day that went by that I wasn’t kicking myself for letting you go. And now I have the chance to see where this could go with you and I’m taking it.”
“But what if-“
“What if what? Do you really want to end this before we even see if it could go somewhere? Anna, all that other shit is just in the details. Either of us could move to be with the other.”
“You would move to be closer to me? Drive an hour to work every day just to be with me?”
“If I was going to move an hour away, it would be because I married you. And I know neither of us is ready to talk about that. Stop thinking ab
out what could happen and just enjoy our time together. We’re just trying to find our footing again.”
“Right,” I laughed, “with a little thing like your job hanging over our heads.”
“Well, that won’t last forever. Once Rebecca moves to New Hampshire, there’ll be no reason for us to keep up this facade. No more pretending. Just the two of us and a normal life,” he smiled.
I returned his smile, feeling a little lighter about this. He was right. I was being crazy. I was worrying about something that wasn’t an issue yet. Robert and I had just started seeing each other again. There was no reason to think about the future. We had to see first if we were even still compatible.
“You’re right. Just forget I said anything.”
“Good. Now, what should we do for dinner tonight?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say no to some Mexican food.”
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, a sly look on his face.
I thought about it for a moment and grinned. “Italian.”
“You’re sure this time?”
“No.”
He laughed and walked over to the drawer that held the takeout menus. “Oh, by the way, I transferred the money into your account.”
“What?” I asked, confused at his statement.
“The money,” he said, turning back to me, raising his eyebrows, “for the down payment.”
“How did you transfer the money? I didn’t give you my account information.”
“I talked with Mr. Groverton at your bank. I didn’t need your account number. I just told him that I was making a transfer into your account.”
“But…” I shook my head slightly. Surely he couldn’t just transfer money without my consent. “I don’t understand. Don’t I have to approve that?”
He grinned that sexy grin, crossing his arms over his chest. “You forget that I robbed that bank once with my brothers.”
“And that endeared you to him?”
“Well,” he shrugged. “He’s not going to say no to a transfer into his bank with the promise of a homeowner’s loan with them.”
Collateral Damage: A Small Town Romance Page 21