“We can’t do anything tonight,” Emily said, taking the spare seat on the other side of Ryan. “Liv, do you want to come home with us? You can stop over, if you like? You shouldn’t be alone. Not now.”
Liv nodded and handed Effy her keys.
“If you hear anything, will you ring us?” Effy asked.
“Of course. We’re all in this together,” Emily answered.
Effy and I walked away feeling like we weren’t entirely sure leaving was the right thing to do, but following our feet anyway.
“I don’t think you should go back to Zak’s on your own.” Effy threaded her arm through mine as we walked at a snail’s pace back to her car. “Come and stop at mine. My mum and dad will be asleep now. They won’t mind.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue. And I certainly didn’t want to go back to the apartment, not knowing whether Zak was going to make it or not. It didn’t feel right.
“Are we gonna be okay?” I asked, feeling like a useless little kid again.
“We’re gonna be strong for each other and we will get through this. Zak will pull through and we have Harper and Brandon’s babies to look forward to. Hey… If anyone can survive a tough time like this, it’s us.”
“I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you.” I stopped as we reached her car and I held her, thankful she was here with me.
“Looks like fate brought us together at just the right time,” Effy said, smiling sadly. “It knew we needed each other.”
And we did.
I’d never not need her. She was my everything.
“Just promise me one thing, Finn. Promise me you’ll talk to me. When it all gets too much… and it will… don’t shut me out. Talk. About Zak, Alice, you, anything. I’m here and I want to help.”
“I promise.” I sighed. “And the same goes for you too.” I tried to smile, but it was useless. And I wondered whether the weight of guilt was ever going to ease up. Most days, I already felt like I was drowning. Now the waves had grown so big I wasn’t sure I even had the energy to tackle them anymore. But I was lucky. Luckier than I might’ve been if she wasn’t here. She was the anchor, the buoy that kept me afloat. And there was one thing I was certain of… I wanted my happily ever after with her. I felt like we’d earnt it.
One Week Later
Had it really only been a week since the fire? It felt more like a month. Granted, it had been the longest week we’d ever lived through, and we’d spent most of it at the hospital, alternating between trips to see Harper and the babies and sitting with Zak’s parents, waiting on news.
We weren’t allowed to see Zak. The risk of infection was too great, and only the immediate family were allowed limited access to the ward where he was. He was stable, for now, but his life had taken a drastic turn for the worse. It was going to take months, maybe even years for him to heal and start to live a normal life. The cheeky, fun-loving flirt that we all knew had died in that fire. In a way, a part of all of us died that night too.
The fire service confirmed what we all knew, it was arson. Someone had set fire to a pile of boxes that’d been stacked up in a room just off the main dance area. There were no witnesses and nobody came forward with any leads worth following, but we knew who it was, and the soldiers were marked men.
The police were keeping their investigation open for now. They’d interviewed us all, but we were cleared of any wrongdoing. They could’ve prosecuted us for the party and for endangering the people who’d come, but they didn’t. Not yet, anyway. Maybe they thought we’d been through enough? Or maybe, police officer, Tom Riley, was back to pulling more favours for us behind the scenes? We didn’t know, and we were too exhausted to question it.
As for me, I was still taking each day as it came. Knowing my uncle was gone didn’t really make the demons living in my head disappear like I always thought they would’ve. Those fuckers had dug their claws in, set up camp for what they assumed was a lifetime, and they wouldn’t leave. Not without a fight. I would have to work damn hard to get rid of them, but I was ready for it. I was ready to face my demons head-on to get through this and earn my peaceful future with the girl I loved. Peaceful being the operative word. The noises in my brain were dulling slightly, but I wanted the silence I’d projected over the years to reach my head. I craved the healing that Effy told me was possible. She’d looked into counselling and I was coming round to the idea, slowly.
I knew that one day I would have to admit what’d happened to me and Alice to someone else. Relive those years and face the truth to finally bury it. But that day wasn’t today. Today, we were at Harper and Brandon’s apartment, because Harper and the babies had been allowed to leave the hospital. We all wanted to be here to help them settle the girls into their new home. Anything to put a smile on our faces, no matter how temporary that happiness was. We all needed a reminder that life could be good, and no matter what was happening in our own lives, the sun was still shining.
We all sat together in their living room, and considering what we’d all been through over the past few days, there was an unusual air of calm about the place. I supposed babies had that effect on people. Made them forget about the world for a while.
They were tiny, and so absolutely perfect. Brandon couldn’t take his eyes off them and was loath to let anyone else hold them, but that didn’t last long.
“I need to cuddle one of them. I didn’t come all this way to watch you, Brandon,” Emily joked. “I can see you any day.”
“Okay, but be careful with her head,” Brandon said, and Emily huffed out a laugh.
“I do know how to hold a baby.” When she pretended to drop her as Brandon passed her over, it didn’t go down well, and he gave her a wicked stare.
“I will be changing the godmother status if behaviour like that carries on,” he said.
“You wouldn’t? I mean… I was joking… I wouldn’t––”
“Relax. We trust you,” he butted in. “Like we could ever have anyone else. We want you, Ryan, Finn, and Effy. We’ll have Zak too, but that might have to wait a while.”
We all went silent, thinking about our friend still fighting for his life in the hospital. And what kind of life would it be when he did eventually pull through? The doctors might’ve said he was stable, but to us, that didn’t mean shit. He was still hurting, and his life would never be the same again.
“I’d hunt you down if you chose someone else,” Emily said, breaking through the tension that’d settled over us. Then she sighed and kissed the baby’s head, sniffing her like she was fresh air. Why did women do that?
Harper passed the other baby to me and I sat still and stiff, feeling like I’d got a rod shoved up my back. I was scared to move in case I did something to hurt her, she was so delicate.
“So, who have I got here?” Emily asked in a sing-song voice.
“That’s Phoebe. Phoebe Kate,” Brandon announced proudly. “And over here with Uncle Finn is Esme Grace.” Brandon hovered over me, stroking Esme’s head.
“They’re so tiny,” Effy whispered, reaching over to stroke Esme and hold her little hand with her finger. “Tiny and perfect.”
“With a perfect set of lungs on them at three a.m.,” Harper joked back.
“Aren’t you getting much sleep?” Emily asked.
“Not really. Brandon helps, but I’m feeding them myself, so there isn’t much he can do.”
“How was he at the birth?” Ryan asked, smirking at Brandon.
“He was amazing. I gave him some grief apparently, told him to never come near me again, but I honestly don’t remember that. All I remember is his voice was the only one I could hear at the end. He got me through it.” She glanced up at him as he went to stand next to her and bent down to kiss her. The love they had for each other was evident in both their eyes.
“It was the best day of my life. Well… so far.” Brandon sat next to Harper and put her hand in his lap. “Which brings me to my next piece of news. I know we’re all living th
rough a shit time at the moment, but hopefully this’ll cheer you up a little bit. If that’s possible.” He shrugged. “I asked Harper to marry me at the hospital, right after the girls were born. I couldn’t not. I bloody love this woman and I want all of us to have the same last name… be a family.” He kissed her hand as the room erupted into coos and quiet cheers so as not to wake the babies.
Effy shot up from her seat and went to hug Harper, and Emily sat close by with Phoebe in her arms, asking to see the ring. I noticed a look cross over Ryan’s face, but he soon wiped it away and went to congratulate Brandon with a pat on the back. Seemed Brandon had beaten Ryan to that milestone too. Ryan still hadn’t asked Emily yet. Said he was waiting until after the auction at the asylum, then he was going to make it all official with a proper proposal in the chapel. Doing it the way that he wanted, with his special touch.
“When Zak gets out of hospital, we can start planning stuff. Sort out dates and everything,” Brandon said, and the rest of us stayed quiet.
He was in his little family bubble, still on a high from the birth and thoughts of marrying Harper. Who were we to burst that? But we’d all spent long enough with Zak’s family to know he wouldn’t be out any time soon. Brandon didn’t know the half of what had happened that night and how bad Zak’s injuries really were. All he knew was he couldn’t visit like the rest of us but he was on the mend. Eventually, when Brandon came back down to earth, he’d realise how bad it actually was.
“It’ll be something for us all to look forward to,” Emily replied, ever the hopeful, cheerfully optimistic one of our group.
The front doorbell sounded and Brandon went to answer it. Moments later, Liv walked in looking like she’d come dressed ready to go straight out clubbing later that night.
“Oh my God, they are gorgeous,” she said, plonking herself onto the sofa next to Emily.
Emily passed the baby back to Harper and went off to make teas and coffees for everyone. Effy came back to sit next to me and I let her take Esme from my arms. She was a natural, and when I looked at her holding the baby and stroking her, it did something to me. Made my insides flip over thinking that one day that could be us. Our baby. Mine and Effy’s.
After a while, Harper went off to the bedroom with the babies to feed them, taking the other girls with her. When she was gone, Brandon started to question us about the fire, the police investigation, and everything that had gone on over the past week. He knew, like we did, that the soldiers were more involved than anyone would let on, but we had to be clever about our next move. Exposing them wouldn’t be easy, especially without Zak and his computer expertise.
“I’ve gotta say…” Brandon sat down and pinned Ryan with a stern look. “I don’t think we should carry on with the events. Not after what happened.”
Ryan wasn’t in agreement and he folded his arms over his chest as he took a few deeps breaths before responding.
“What happened that night wasn’t our fault.” A few more steadying breaths and then he carried on. “I have a whole business plan set up. I’m not just gonna throw all that away. I’ve worked hard, we all have, and I’m not gonna stand by and watch that fall down the drain. Zak wouldn’t want that.”
He sat next to Brandon, wringing his hands, with a look of silent contemplation on his face. But his pleading wasn’t over yet. “When we buy the asylum, it’ll be different. It’ll be a legitimate business. We’ll run the parties from there and we’ll have full control. I’ve worked hard on this; I’m not backing down just ‘cos some punks from Brinton think they can fuck with us.”
“But it’s more than that though, isn’t it?” Brandon argued back. “People were hurt. What’s it gonna look like if we just carry on like that never happened?”
I could see both sides of the argument, but Ryan couldn’t. He was blinkered to any negativity coming his way.
“It’ll show everyone that we’re serious about what we do,” he said through gritted teeth. “We have a reputation, a good reputation. This is what we do. It’s what we’re good at.”
Brandon shook his head, disagreeing with Ryan, but when Ryan’s mobile rang, he didn’t get chance to say his piece. Ryan looked at the screen and shot up to answer it, walking over to the window as he did, keeping his back to us.
“Nigel. Good to hear from you. Are we all set for Tuesday?”
I knew the auction was on Tuesday, so this was an important call for Ryan, and when he stiffened as he listened to the guy on the other end, I knew it wasn’t a courtesy call.
“What do you mean a better offer? I have the cash ready to go. Do the sellers know that?”
Brandon and I exchanged silent, knowing glances.
“This is bullshit,” Ryan snapped. “What the fuck use are you as an agent if you can’t sort this out? I don’t care what papers are signed, that building is ours.”
Brandon rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. I felt for Ryan, but in the grand scheme of things, this wasn’t affecting me like it was him. Maybe the asylum was a lifeline for him after the chaos we’d been embroiled in? We all had our ways of coping with what’d happened. But from the sounds of it, this was a non-starter.
“Can’t you try to contact the new owners, see if they’ll accept our offer?” Ryan waited a few seconds, and when Nigel didn’t give him the response he wanted, he said, “Fuck you, asshole.” And hung up the phone.
“So that’s it? Deals off?” Brandon asked.
“There was no fucking deal. The vendors sold to someone else without even giving us a shot.” Ryan banged his fist on the wall nearby, making us jump, but Brandon stayed quiet. He knew whatever he said would fall on deaf ears.
“That building is ours,” Ryan stated, lifting his chin defiantly. “Finn’s artwork is all over the damn place. I’ve spent hours renovating the chapel so I could ask Emily to marry me in there. I wanted it to be perfect. Now, I don’t know if they’re gonna knock the fucking thing down or what they’re gonna do with it. It’s fucking bullshit.”
“I don’t know what to say, man.” Brandon shrugged, feeling at a loss for words like I did.
“I need to go there and find out what the fuck is going on,” Ryan announced, just as Effy, Emily, and Liv walked back into the room.
Seeing Emily frown, Ryan filled her in on his phone conversation, but left out the details about his plans for the chapel. I guess he was still hopeful that he could do something to rectify that part.
“But what good will it do going down there?” Emily asked.
“I don’t know,” he snapped back. “But it’ll make me feel a damn sight better. I can’t just roll over and do nothing.”
Ryan stood to leave and the rest of us blindly followed. We couldn’t let him face this alone, no matter what our own thoughts on it were. Brandon stayed behind with Harper and the twins, and we told him we’d keep him posted.
“Don’t let him do anything stupid,” he whispered to me before I left. “He’s not thinking straight.”
I nodded, but in reality, none of us were. We were all living in a daze of confusion. Our lives had been turned upside down and nothing was ever going to be the same.
When we pulled up to the old asylum, the front doors were wide open. We all parked, and Ryan stalked out of his car, banging his door shut and muttering to himself as he walked like a man on a mission. Emily followed not far behind, calling out, “Babe, calm down. If you go in there all guns blazing, you’re gonna make matters worse.”
“How could they be any fucking worse?” he shot back without breaking his stride.
Effy, Liv, and I kept quiet, making our way over the debris and rubble scattered along the path leading to the entrance. Music was blasting out so loudly that we all grimaced as we entered, letting our ears adjust to the level of noise. My artwork lining the corridors leading off the main entrance hall was still there, but now it was marked with crudely sprayed tags. All the subtle and intricate details lost underneath the amateur graffiti of some kids who probably bro
ke in with nothing better to do than destroy what’d taken hours, days, months even to create.
“What the fuck?” Ryan looked around and then stormed towards the source of the music. “I was here a week ago and it didn’t look like this. It’s a fucking mess in here.”
When we reached the doorway where the music was being played, we all stopped dead in our tracks.
“I wondered how long it’d take for you to show up.” Adam Noble stood in the middle of the room, his stance cocky and self-assured as he folded his arms over his chest, tilted his head and smirked at us. The other soldiers were lazing around the room, smoking rolled-up cigarettes and drinking bottles of beer while their Rottweiler lay in the corner eating raw steak, slobbering and growling.
“Turn it down, Colton,” Adam said without taking his eyes off us, and the music went from ear-splitting drum and bass to a quieter hum that matched the tension and adrenaline running through our veins.
The other soldiers just sat and stared at us, their eyes glazed over like zombies. Maybe those were more than rolled-up cigarettes they were smoking?
But what none of us could fathom was, what the hell were they doing here? This was Sandland, not Brinton. They were trespassing on our turf.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing here but I came to speak to the owners.” Ryan held his nerve and spoke clearly, even though I could see the tell-tale twitch in his neck that said he was close to losing it. “I think I might give the agents a ring. I’m sure the new owners wouldn’t be happy to find out filth like you are squatting here.” Ryan pulled his phone out of his pocket, but Adam just laughed back at him.
“And what makes you think we’re squatters?” He took a few steps towards us, still grinning. “You are looking at the new owners of this building.” He held his arms out and cackled. “Welcome to The Sanctuary.”
Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland Book 3) Page 23