“Hardshaw tried to destroy her life,” she said in a tone that suggested he was a fool. “I’ll let her destroy his.”
Kate had tried that with Stella and Branson last summer. She’d tried to force Neely Kate to murder Stella, but in the end, she’d done the deed herself. The whole episode had traumatized Neely Kate. I nearly pointed that out, but Kate wouldn’t listen. Just like she wouldn’t listen if I told her another deep truth—Neely Kate would write Kate off forever when she discovered Kate had killed me to give my baby to her.
Kate was past the point of reason.
She pulled out her gun and held it on James. “I’m gonna need you to remove your weapons and drop them onto the floor.”
James’ gaze dropped to Hope. “I’ll do whatever you ask, but only if you swear you won’t hurt another hair on her head.”
I could tell from his tone, from the protective stance of his body, that he meant every word, and if our lives hadn’t been in danger, the shock might have made my knees go out.
Kate laughed. “You’re in no position to negotiate. And now that I know you care about her, your position is even weaker.” She waved her gun. “Drop ’em. Now.”
James reached behind his back and slowly pulled out his gun and tossed it to the floor. It skidded several feet away.
“Now your other one,” Kate said.
James didn’t hesitate as he squatted and unhooked the gun from his ankle. That went sliding across the floor too.
“Now your phone.”
James tugged it out of his pocket and tossed it.
Kate pointed her gun at it and squeezed the trigger, sending pieces of the phone flying.
Hope began to scream again.
“You have my weapons and my phone,” James said. “Now give the baby to Rose.”
“I don’t think so,” Kate said. “Not yet.” She turned to me. “Take off that coat.”
I knew what she was after, so I opened up my jacket and slowly reached for the gun in my holster, gripping the end of the gun with my thumb and index finger, then threw it away from me. “I don’t have any other weapons.”
“Roll up your jeans.”
I did as she asked, unstrapping the holster on my ankle and tossing it to the ground. “I gave my other gun to Joe when I left him at Carmichael’s. That’s all I have. I swear.”
She studied me for a moment before motioning me toward the wall of offices. “Go over there if you want to hold Daisy.”
I cast another glance toward James, then started to move toward the only open office door. I’d been in that room before, locked in with Kate’s father.
I stopped in the opening and waited, my heart beating so fast I was surprised it didn’t leap out of my chest.
Kate motioned with her gun for James to go around the other side of the fire toward me.
He slowly made his way around the flames, keeping his eyes on Kate until he reached the doorway.
“Stop right there,” she said, then slowly dropped to a squat and laid Hope down on the filthy concrete floor. She got to her feet and began to back up, her gun trained on my daughter. “Okay, Skeeter Malcolm, come get your baby.”
“What?” he asked in horror. It would have been comical if we weren’t in mortal danger.
“You want to save her? You come get her. You. Not your whore.”
Anger rippled through his body, but he slowly made his way to my screaming daughter.
Kate still kept her gun on Hope.
When James reached her, he squatted and carefully slid both hands under her, one under her butt and the other under her head, then slowly picked her up and held her awkwardly to his chest.
“Now back up,” Kate said. “Slowly.”
James closed the distance to the office.
“Now both of you go inside and shut the door,” Kate said. “I’ll let you out when it’s time.”
James backed into the room and pulled the door shut, plunging us into darkness.
Chapter 35
James reached for me and awkwardly handed Hope to me. “Stay there. I’ll look for someplace for you to sit.”
My knees buckled slightly when he placed her in my arms, but I stayed upright. I knew what my frightened, sobbing daughter needed, and push come to shove, I didn’t need a chair. Lifting the hem of my shirt, I tugged down my bra cup and guided Hope to my breast. Soon the soft sound of her suckling filled the room.
“There’s only a desk,” James called from the other side of the room.
“I can sit on the floor.”
“Not there,” he said. Seconds later, he was next to me, guiding me across the room and helping me lower to the floor. But he stepped away as soon as I was sitting, and my eyes adjusted to the darkness enough to see he’d moved over to the door. A small amount of light poured in through the crack. The rest came from a small window above the door that looked like it had been spray-painted white.
“What is she doin’ with the fire?” he said, but it sounded like he was talking to himself. “She’s goin’ for a big show, so what’s the purpose? Who’s it for, besides her?”
“I don’t know.” I pressed my back into the hard wall.
“She means to kill us both,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I know,” I said with a heavy sigh.
“She removed the doorknob on the inside,” he said. “I can’t open the door.” He moved around the room quietly, presumably looking for another escape. He wouldn’t find one. Of that, I was sure.
Then he finally lowered himself to the ground, sitting against the wall next to me, our shoulders pressed together. He reached for my hand under Hope, covering it with his own and squeezing.
Tears streamed down my face. “You saved her.”
“Not yet, I haven’t,” he grunted. I expected him to release my hand, but he held on.
“Why are you here?” I whispered. “Really.”
“I’m here because you were in danger,” he said, but then seconds later, he said gruffly, “And so was she.”
More tears fell and I closed my eyes. “But tonight was your big meetin’.”
“Bigger than you know,” he said, sounding like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“If you’d been there, you would have gotten caught up in a sting,” I said dryly. “So maybe you owe Kate a favor.”
He released a mirthless laugh. “Who do you think set it up?”
“What?”
“I’ve been working with the ATF and the DEA for nearly a year and a half.”
I tried to pull my hand from his, but he held on tight.
“The ATF approached me first. Right before the auction. They knew Hardshaw was makin’ a play for the county. They knew I’d supplied the Collards with firearms, and they suggested they could prove it if I proved unwilling to help them. I played it like I had no idea what they were talkin’ about. But I put myself on their radar after we got J.R. Simmons busted, and they let me know I wasn’t fallin’ off. They’d come up with multiple charges, and they threatened to prosecute me to the fullest extent of the law if I didn’t cooperate. They said all I had to do was be friendly when Hardshaw came knockin’ at my door, because they knew they’d be comin’…and they were right. I was told to play along, because the more evidence they had, the more charges they could file. But then Hardshaw tried to kidnap Neely Kate, and I told my handler I was out. He threatened to slap more charges on me, ones so airtight I’d never see daylight again.” He paused. “I almost decided to tell them off and let Carter Hale work his magic, but one thing stopped me.”
“What?” I asked past the lump in my throat even though I already suspected the answer.
“You.” He drew a deep breath. “You made me think that I could possibly have a future. That I could have a normal life. But it was a pipe dream,” he said bitterly. “I realized they would never let me go.”
“Which one?” I asked in a whisper. “Hardshaw or the ATF?”
“Both.” He scoffed. “The DEA
was involved by then. They were the hard sell at that point.”
We sat in silence for several seconds, and I could tell that Hope was ready to switch sides, so I pulled my hand free and rearranged her. She latched on quickly.
I wanted to just forgive him, to view everything that had happened through this new lens, to let all of the hurt go, yet I couldn’t wipe the slate clean. There were still too many dirty smudges. “I asked you point blank if you were working for the FBI and you denied it. Just yesterday you denied it.”
There was silence, until he blithely said, “Technically, I haven’t worked for the FBI.”
That only pissed me off more. “You bought a police department, James,” I hissed.
“There’s no denyin’ it.”
“You sent Denny Carmichael to me when those men attacked me.”
“One of the biggest regrets of my life, but he was closer to you, and I saw it as a way to earn his trust.”
“Did it work?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“He saved you,” he said, his voice gruff. “But he never trusted me.”
“He shouldn’t have trusted me,” I muttered. “He threatened me if I couldn’t get him the time and location of the meetin’. Little did he know I was leadin’ him into a trap.” I turned to face him. “He was there when the Feds showed up.”
He grinned. “That’s my girl.” But then he sobered. “But the only reason he threatened you in the first place was because of your association with me. That night was when I realized you’d always be in danger if you were with me, so after the attack last August I had to distance myself from you. Still, I hoped it would be over soon, and we could have a life together. Hardshaw was gearing up for a big drug deal with the South Americans that was supposed to happen in the fall. But then the grand jury sprang up, makin’ Hardshaw skittish. The ATF told me to tell the whole unvarnished truth if I was asked to testify. That they’d seal my testimony, and it would all come out anyway after they arrested everyone in the bust.”
“Which is why you told me to tell the truth,” I said.
“Yeah, but I realized something else around that time—the alphabet soup of law enforcement was never gonna let me go. They were gonna milk me for all I was worth. And then you said you were pregnant.” He took a ragged breath. “I had representatives from Hardshaw in my office when you showed up that night, and even though they weren’t privy to our conversation, I didn’t want them to guess that we were together.”
“So you lied about wanting me to get the abortion?”
“No,” he said, his voice thick. “I meant it. I could only imagine what my enemies would do to you if they figured out you were pregnant with my baby. Havin’ an abortion was the only way I knew how to keep you safe. If I could’ve, I’d’ve hauled you to Little Rock myself and dragged you into a doctor’s office against your will, but then I realized that most people thought Simmons was the father. So I let it be, because I knew if I pushed you too hard, you’d never forgive me, and I’d be lyin’ if I said that the hope of havin’ you wasn’t the light at the end of my very dark tunnel.”
My heart broke. “James.”
“But then Hardshaw came under investigation with the FBI and the Secret Service about some counterfeit money, and they decided to postpone future business with the South Americans for a while. I got stuck in a holding pattern, with Hardshaw takin’ over more and more of my business, and me crossin’ so many lines just to keep them on the hook. I wondered if it was ever going to end. And then they said they were finally ready to set up that meetin’. I’d already prepped three locations last summer for the DEA, but I’d told Hardshaw all the surveillance was for them. I just needed to figure out which location the day of the meetin’. But Hardshaw got jittery after Mike ran to the state police, and the South Americans were pissed about the delay and threatened to call it all off.” He paused. “But everything got back on track, and better yet, Carson Roberts said he was comin’ in person to smooth things over. All the alphabet agencies thought they’d hit the jackpot, and everything was riding on this meeting tonight. Everything.” He swiped a hand over his stubble. “They weren’t offering full immunity. I’d have wound up with some minor weapons charges that would have gotten me a couple of years behind bars, but Carson Roberts would be arrested, and they were countin’ on him to spill everything to cut a deal of his own. They’d also nip the pipeline from South America for a short bit and, most importantly, Fenton County would be free.”
“But you didn’t go.”
He pushed out a breath. “I learned my lesson before,” he said, his voice heavy. “I couldn’t leave savin’ you to anyone else.”
My eyes burned and I swallowed. So much wasted time and tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I pleaded again. I’d asked him point-blank multiple times if he was working with the Feds or the state, and he’d denied it every time. But then again, when I thought about his answers, he hadn’t lied outright. Just dodged my questions. Still, they were lies of omission. He’d purposely cut me out of his life.
“I couldn’t.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said, getting pissed.
“Rose…”
“No. Don’t you dare lie to me. You could have told me. You just chose not to.”
He started to protest, then stopped. “I didn’t want to drag you into it.”
A fire burned in my gut. “I was already there, James!”
“I know, but I knew you’d stay. And if you did, you’d be in danger.”
“It was my decision to make. You were the first man who’d ever treated me like I wasn’t some clueless fool, and when it really mattered, you treated me like that too.”
“I never treated you like a fool,” he said, his voice faltering. “But I admit to not treatin’ you with the respect you deserve.”
“I waited for you,” I said with a heaving sob. “I waited for you to come to your senses, but you only treated me with more anger and scorn. So I moved on, James. What else was I supposed to do?”
“I acted like that because I wanted you to move on,” he said. “I knew Simmons would make a better father than I could ever dream of bein’.”
“I’m engaged to be married.”
And even though I was confused, even though James’ words had split me down to my soul, I didn’t regret it. Because, the thing was, Joe had been there for me through all of it. He’d become my partner, and I loved him with everything I was. I wanted the life we’d been building together.
Yet part of me still loved James too.
“I may be here right now,” he said gruffly, “but nothin’s changed. There is no you and me, especially now, and I sure as hell don’t want anyone else to know Hope is mine. She belongs to Simmons, and it needs to stay that way.”
My heart felt like it was being ripped in two. Joe was her father, but if James wanted to be part of her life too, I didn’t feel right stopping him. And yet, if word got out that she was his biological daughter, she wouldn’t be safe. “Maybe—”
“Rose,” he said with a humorless laugh. “There is no future for me. Even if they busted the meeting, I didn’t show. And judging from what Kate said, Carson Roberts wasn’t there either. Seems like Kate always planned on bringing him here. My deal with the ATF and the DEA is null and void.”
“How can that be?” I asked in shock. “After everything you did for them?”
“That’s the way it works,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. “All that time and energy was gearin’ up for this, and I blew it off.”
“To come to me,” I said, heartbroken.
“And to Hope. I may not claim her, but God help the fool who tries to hurt her.”
“James.”
“Hey,” he said, slipping an arm around my back and tugging me to his side. Hope had stopped nursing, so I adjusted my shirt as she snuggled against my chest. “Remember outside when I said no guilt? I meant it.”
I’d still feel guilt anyway.
“Why’d you name h
er Hope?” he asked softly.
“Because everything seemed so heavy. You may not have wanted her, and she was unexpected for me, but I decided to see her as a blessing. She gave me hope. Her middle name is Violet. After my sister.”
“And her last name is Simmons.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Joe wants to be her father in every way. He’s been there for me since the beginning. And he’s a great dad, James. The kind of father we all wished we had.”
“He loves her?” he asked, his voice tight.
“So very much. He’s likely out of his mind right now. Maybe I should have told him, but Kate said she’d hurt Hope…”
“I’ll get you out of this, Rose. I’ll get you both out.”
I glanced up at him and gave him a soft smile. “Do you want to hold her?”
“What?”
I turned and held her out to him, placing her against his chest.
His arms wrapped around her tenderly, and he stared down at her sleeping face in awe. “She’s so small. I was scared to death I was gonna hurt her picking her up. Scared Kate would hurt her.”
The reminder of Kate made me shudder. “Me too.”
“She’s beautiful, Rose,” he said softly.
“How can you tell?” I teased. “I can barely see your face.”
“I’ve seen her,” he said, and I wondered if he was talking about out in the warehouse or if he meant something else. “If anything happens to me,” he said, hesitating, “she’ll be taken care of.”
“What?”
“You both will, but I know how stubborn you are, so even though there’s money for you, I doubt you’ll touch it. But I hope you’ll use it for her. Carter Hale has the details.”
“Don’t talk like that,” I said. “Nothin’s gonna happen to you.”
“No matter what happens, it won’t end well for me.” Then, before I could protest, he said, “I take it you found Violet’s file. And that’s how you figured out the location of the meeting.”
“No thanks to you,” I said, but I couldn’t find it in me to dig up my anger. Not after everything he’d told me. Not while he held our daughter like she was the most precious thing in the world.
It All Falls Down: Rose Gardner Investigations #7 (Rose Gardner Investigatons) Page 31