My heart lurched. “Was Brox with them?”
He shook his head. “Brox came to me today.” He pulled a face. “Or I guess he came to me yesterday asking to be part of my group.” He cast a glance at Joe. “You know…my group of fishing buddies.”
Joe released a laugh and then a grunt of pain.
“Brox Collard is a good man,” I said. “Treat him well.”
“I intend to.” He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I know Joe has supposedly left the force—”
“No supposedly about it,” Joe said in a deep voice. “I’m officially out.”
“Nevertheless,” Dermot said. “Rose, can I speak to you alone for a moment?”
“Yes,” I said, getting to my feet and glancing back at Joe. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Then I teased, “Don’t go home without us.”
He grinned. “I don’t intend to.”
I gave him a quick kiss, then followed Dermot out into the hall and into an empty exam room.
“Rumors are flyin’ that Skeeter Malcolm is about to be sent away to prison for a very long time.”
“That’s true,” I said, feeling emotion wash through me again.
“Which means there’s gonna be an empty leadership position.”
I gave him a sad smile. “Just like we were workin’ toward.”
“I’m here to offer it to you.”
My eyes flew wide. “What?”
“You’re the one who brought Hardshaw down and ousted Malcolm. The conqueror takes the spoils.”
I gaped at him in shock.
“No one would challenge you for it, plus you’re a natural leader. You could unite them in way that hasn’t happened since Prohibition.”
I started shaking my head before he even finished. “I’m not interested. Besides, without an enemy knockin’ at our door, I’d turn to the enemy within. I’m not sure what role Carmichael thought Wendy had in Peter Pan, but she civilized the Lost Boys.”
He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m not gonna even pretend to understand what that meant, but you have to admit we could do with a lot of civilizin’.”
I laughed. “There’s plenty of truth to that, but I’m still not interested. I plan on hangin’ up my hat and goin’ into retirement.”
The look he gave me suggested he didn’t believe me, but he gave me a two-finger salute and said, “May you have a long and happy retirement.”
“Amen.” I gave him a smile. “The crown is yours, my friend. Do what James Malcolm wanted to achieve but couldn’t. Make this county a better place.”
He turned serious. “I intend to.” He turned to walk out, then glanced back at me. “For what it’s worth, you’re makin’ the right decision. I had the chance once, at the proverbial fork in the road, and I took the wrong turn. I paid for it with my family. With their murders.” He swallowed and stared at the wall. “You’re better off leavin’ all of this behind.” Then he walked out, leaving me and Hope alone.
I started to head back to Joe’s room, but I realized I still had some unfinished business.
It wasn’t hard to find his room. He hadn’t been charged with anything yet, so he didn’t have a guard outside his door. But we all knew the charges were coming. It was just a matter of time.
His room was dark, and he lay back on his upright bed with his eyes closed. Gauze was taped to his left shoulder. He was shirtless, and I could see the tattoo on his chest, the one that used to fascinate me so.
He looked tired and defeated. I had never seen him that way before, but I wasn’t surprised. He’d lost everything. His empire. His best friend. And me. I had to wonder if it was all worth it. Then again, I supposed he’d never had much of a choice, even before he joined J.R. Simmons.
He’d been born in poverty, grown up in violence. A hard life was all he’d ever known, and J.R. Simmons had given him the opportunity to have money and power.
Had that been the beginning of the end for him? Back when he was a kid? Or was it when he’d struck out on his own and decided to continue in a life of crime? Or maybe it had happened when he bought himself Daniel Crocker’s crown.
I wasn’t sure, and I doubted I’d ever know. I doubted he knew either. He never thought he’d find love, and then he’d found me and tried to make it all right.
But there were so many wrongs behind him, so many things stacked against him. I think we both knew that we could never truly be together. He’d given me such a beautiful gift in Hope, but she wasn’t the only thing he’d given me. He’d helped me find the strength and the courage that had been buried within me for years, which had taken the form of the Lady in Black. He’d given me excitement and power and love. Now he was giving me another gift. He was setting us both free.
His eyes opened when he saw me, and he grimaced. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “You should be with Joe.”
“I’ve already been with Joe,” I said. “And I’ve checked on Neely Kate and Jed. Their baby’s going to be okay.”
“That’s good,” he said roughly with a sharp nod, and then he grimaced from pain.
I wasn’t sure what to say to him. Part of me still loved him, and I knew I always would. But I knew the life he offered, even if he wasn’t in prison, wasn’t one I wanted. It certainly wasn’t what I wanted for Hope.
My time with James had been a fantasy, but I needed real life. I needed Joe. “Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for coming tonight and helping me save Hope.”
He nodded again but didn’t say anything as he stared at the ceiling.
“I’m not sure what you want,” I said softly. “Do you want me to let you know how Hope is doing? I can send you letters and pictures.”
He shook his head. “No. A clean break,” he said. “That’s what we all need.”
I nodded, ashamed to find myself relieved. “Do you know when you’ll be arrested?”
He lay there for a second before turning his head to face me. “Probably within a day or two. They know I’m not leaving town, so they won’t arrest me tonight. Hale’s already talking to the authorities, trying to make arrangements.”
“Dermot’s takin’ over,” I said.
He grunted. “That was a given. You’re the one who encouraged most of the men in this county to follow him and not me. Why do you think I had so many Hardshaw men? All of my guys left. They followed you,” he said. “They followed you to him.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure I was.
“Nah,” he said with a grunt. “It was for the best.”
“You ended up alone,” I said, my voice tight.
“That’s exactly what I deserve,” he said roughly. “Don’t you feel sorry for me, Rose Gardner. I’m the one who put myself here. I’m the one who’s paying the consequences.”
“I wish things had been different,” I said.
“I don’t,” he said. “Things worked out exactly the way they should’ve.”
His gaze landed on Hope, and I took her out of her sling and placed her in his good arm. He stared down at her with a combination of awe and joy. “Is she okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “The EMTs looked her over earlier. They said Kate pinched her several times but didn’t actually hurt her.”
“That woman was capable of anything,” James said.
“I know.”
Tears filled his eyes, and he reached his finger down to her hand. She grasped it in her sleep and pulled it closer to her chest. His reaction caught me by surprise. He’d been so adamant that he didn’t want her, and I suspected he truly thought that too…until he saw her. Until he held her.
He was just now understanding what I’d come to know months ago. Hope was a gift. I would have the rest of my life to love and cherish her, but he only had these few minutes until I took her away.
Seeing her in his arms stole my breath. How much had I longed for this last fall? It also brought their resemblance into sharper view. They had the same hairline. The same jaw. I had lost J
ames, but I still had a part of him in our daughter.
“Promise me you won’t tell her the truth,” he said, his voice breaking. “Please don’t saddle her with that. Let her think that Joe’s her father.”
“I will,” I said. “But if you change your mind…”
“No,” he barked. “I won’t. That wouldn’t be fair to her, and it wouldn’t be fair to you and Joe. Just let her keep thinking he’s her daddy.” He studied her for another minute before he said, “She truly is a miracle, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” I said, my heart bursting. “She is.”
“Despite everything,” he said, lifting his eyes to mine, “I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for any of it, because without it, I never would’ve known you,” he said. “I never would have had the chance to love you.”
I didn’t trust myself to answer, so I just nodded. But then a question sprang to my mind. “Why did you want me to spend forty-eight hours with you?”
His eyes widened slightly, and he swallowed as a dark look covered his face. “That was a whole lot of impulse and an equal part of delusion.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I still wanted somethin’ I couldn’t have.” Then a look filled his eyes that told me he was never going to tell me.
He leaned over and kissed Hope’s forehead, then lifted her up so I could take her. I scooped her up, but he grasped my hand, pulling me closer. “When you walk out of this room,” he said, his voice breaking, “promise me you’ll never look back. Promise me you’ll forget me.”
“I can’t promise you that,” I said, my heart breaking. “I can’t promise that I’ll forget you, when you helped make me who I am. But I promise to keep your memory alive in my heart and share it with no one else. What we had is between the two of us, and it will stay that way forever.”
He nodded, his jaw working, and then he swallowed. “I suppose that’s all I can ask,” he said. He gave me a sad smile. “Have a good life, Rose. Give our daughter the life we both always wanted.”
“I will,” I said.
Then I turned around and walked away forever.
Epilogue
It was a beautiful day for a wedding.
Having an outdoor wedding in southern Arkansas at the end of June was a risk, even if it was scheduled for late morning. It could have been hot and humid, but God must’ve been smiling on us because it was cool and crisp, without a cloud in the sky.
Joe woke me up with a soft kiss on my neck. I was barely awake, but I quickly jumped on board as his mouth burned a line of kisses down my cleavage.
I grasped his head, about to guide him to my breast when the bedroom door burst open. “Aunt Rose!” Mikey shouted in excitement. “Uncle Joe! It’s your weddin’ day!”
Joe’s face lifted to mine, and although I fully expected him to look irritated, he didn’t—he was wearing a defeated grin. He sat up and held out his arms to our nephew. “Yes, it is.”
Mikey jumped into his lap, and Joe grimaced when Mikey’s knee landed in his crotch. “Do I still get to walk Muffy down the aisle?”
“You sure do, little man. What do you say we take her outside?”
“Okay!” Mikey hopped down and took Joe’s hand, leading him out the bedroom door.
Joe glanced back at me, and mouthed, I have naughty things planned for you later.
“Promises, promises.” Especially since we planned to spend our wedding night in our farmhouse with three kids.
He laughed and my heart filled with joy when I heard him and Mikey trying to be quiet as they convinced Muffy to leave her charge.
I still couldn’t believe Violet’s kids were living with us.
After I’d given Mason a copy of the flash drive, he’d passed it on to the FBI to handle however they saw fit. He told me they were throwing the book at Carson Roberts and Hardshaw had been cut off at the roots. The other two members of the Hardshaw Three—Carly’s father, Robert Blakely, and Arthur Manchester—were still free men, but Mason was sure we wouldn’t hear from them again in Fenton County. They were still digging into the Murray Portfolio, which they’d found on the hard drive. Mason was sure it would give them financial details about Hardshaw’s offshore accounts. The file was password protected, however, and no one could seem to break it…until Mason got an anonymous tip, via Neely Kate and Jed. Apparently, Kate had given it to him when he’d gone to save Neely Kate in Oklahoma.
Would the information bring down the now Hardshaw Two? I couldn’t help wondering what that meant for our friend. I’d sent her an email, but I had yet to hear back.
As for Mike, he’d worked out a deal, but he was still going to serve several years in prison. I felt guilty that I might have played a part in his sentencing, but Mason assured me that Mike had dug his own grave. The kids’ grandparents wanted to keep them, but in the end, Mike had made the decision, saying it was in his children’s best interest if they stayed with Joe and me, at least until he got out of prison. Violet’s will stating that she wanted me to have her kids would have swayed the judge, but thankfully his parents had agreed not to fight us.
The Feds had filed a long list of charges against James, so many he’d spend the rest of his life in prison. Jed had gone to see him before his arrest. Neely Kate said he’d been gone for hours, but when he came back, he seemed to have found some peace.
The kids were devastated, of course. They’d lost their mother last October and now their father was going to prison, but they were surrounded by love, and I had to believe it would make a difference.
It had been an adjustment for Joe and me to go from a new family of three to a bursting house of five, but the kids adored Joe, and he adored them back. Other men might have resented the added burden and responsibility, but Joe welcomed them with open arms—literally—and it filled my heart with joy.
With our hands full of kids and Joe making the jump from law enforcement to working for the landscaping company, our wedding was going to be a simple affair. Neely Kate and Jed’s ceremony had been simple too, and it was one of the most beautiful weddings I’d ever attended. That was exactly what I’d wanted for ours. Thankfully, Joe felt the same way.
Given my love of flowers, we’d decided on an outdoor wedding, despite the potential heat disaster. Neely Kate and Jed had spent a lot of time and effort making their backyard perfect for their own wedding, so she’d been thrilled by my request to have ours there too.
Her face had beamed with excitement. “We’d love for you two to get married here.”
“I’ll take care of everything,” I assured her. “I know you’ve got your hands full with Daisy.” She was only two weeks old, which meant they were sleeping even less than we were, but Neely Kate was loving every minute of it.
“Are you kiddin’ me? I have scads of hours in the middle of the night. Just give me a job, because I can’t wait for you to be my sister!”
She didn’t say anything about her other sister, and I didn’t ask. But I knew Neely Kate had kept Kate’s ashes. They were in a simple urn over her fireplace.
Jed was Joe’s best man, a testament to how far they’d come, and Neely Kate was of course my matron of honor. True to her word, she’d poured herself into the details, helping me select my dress—a long, sleeveless slip dress covered with lace—and the floral arrangements and bouquets. We’d decided I would carry Hope down the aisle. She had her own white dress, which had been my father’s baptism gown. Aunt Bessie had brought it when she and Uncle Earl came for the wedding. Joe had insisted that Muffy be in the wedding too, not that I’d complained. She’d been a part of our shared lives from the beginning. Joe had taken her to the groomers the day before, and she was going to wear a rose-colored bow around her neck for the ceremony—a perfect match for Neely Kate’s knee-length bridesmaid’s dress.
Less than twenty people would attend, all of them close friends and family—Aunt Bessie and Uncle Earl, Bruce Wayne and Anna, Maeve, Witt, Marshall, and Dermot. Jonah was doing the ceremony, and his gi
rlfriend, Jessica, would attend as a guest. Even Miss Mildred planned to come.
Ashley and Mikey were in the wedding as well. Ashley was our flower girl, and Mikey’s job was to carry our rings on a satin pillow.
After Joe and Mikey took care of Muffy, we fed the kids breakfast. I left Hope with Joe and brought Ashley to Neely Kate’s house early so we could get ready. She fussed over our hair and my makeup for the next hour while Jed took care of Daisy.
“I wish my momma was here,” Ashley said while Neely Kate curled her hair with a curling iron.
Neely Kate stared at her in the mirror for a moment, then squatted behind her and pulled her into a tight hug. “So do we, Ashley. It’s okay to miss her, because we all do.”
“I miss your momma every day,” I said past the lump in my throat. “It’s not right that she’s not here with me on my wedding day, and it won’t be right when you get married either, but I believe she’s with us all the same. Even if we can’t see her. But I’m here, and while I’ll never be able to replace your momma, I’ll always be here for you.”
Ashley got up and rushed over to me. I tugged her onto my lap and wrapped her up in my arms. Maybe I held her tighter than I needed to, but I’d been kept away from her for so long, it still felt like a miracle to have her back.
“I’ll always be here for you too,” Neely Kate said. “Daisy and Hope are lucky to have a cousin like you.”
Ashley gave a small nod, her expression serious, and then Jed walked into the room with Daisy, who had just woken up from a nap. “Can I feed her, Aunt Neely Kate?” Ashley asked in a small voice.
“Why, you read my mind, Ashley Nicole, I was about to ask you to do just that,” she said with a big smile. Ashley took Daisy in her arms, her expression brightening as if a lamp had been lit inside her, and Neely Kate hummed as she finished her hair.
As the time for the ceremony crept closer, Neely Kate became a bundle of nerves, worried we wouldn’t be ready in time. Worried that everything wouldn’t be perfect. I kept reassuring her that it would all be fine, that Joe and I would come out of it married regardless of anything that went wrong, and she finally put her hand on her hip and blurted out, “How can you be so calm?”
It All Falls Down: Rose Gardner Investigations #7 (Rose Gardner Investigatons) Page 34